Basil’s Blog

So I was saying yesterday that I had a story or two to tell about the Pyramids. This is as good a time as any to tell one of them. I mean, you’ve got a couple of minutes, right? Good.

When I was in the Army, I got sent to places I otherwise never would have gone. One of those places was Egypt. You’ve heard of Egypt, right? King Tut. The Mummy. The Exodus. Camels. The Sphinx. The Pyramids. Yes, that Egypt. Yeah, I went there. And got paid for it. The whole experience was miserable. Except for one day. That day was cool.

I was stationed at Fort Stewart, Georgia, in an artillery unit. Now, my MOS was not an artillery MOS. Okay, I might need to explain what an MOS is. That’s Army talk for your job. It means Military Occupational Specialty. It’s what your primary job is. Just like in the real world, different people do different things. The unit I was in was an artillery unit. They fired those big guns that people say look like tanks. Only they’re not tanks. They’re guns. They fire big shells and cause massive destruction. And, like any job in any place, some on the people you work with are some of the smartest people you’ll ever meet. Some are as dumb as toast. Artillery units are no exception. Some really sharp people. Some dim bulbs, too. America’s melting pot.

Anyway, I was in an artillery unit. But my job was not artillery. I had a support MOS. I worked on generators and kept up with small equipment parts. The idea is that I was not one of the regular guys. Most of the artillery guys (and, yes, they were all guys, no girls) had at least their job in common. They understood each others jobs. They weren’t too sure about me. Of course, lots of folks feel that way about me. Oh, well. Anyhow, our unit was sent over to Egypt for 57 days. And 56 of them were miserable. We lived in the desert and did training exercises near the border with Libya. Except for one day.

One day, we loaded up into buses and went east, all the way to Cairo. As we approached Cairo, we saw these large pointy things sticking up in the air. I wasn’t that big on Egyptian geography and had no idea that the Pyramids were near Cairo. But I found out they were. And they were huge! I had seen on TV and in movies the Pyramids and they looked like they were out in the middle of the desert. Well, they’re not in the middle of the desert. They are at the edge of the desert. Oh, and to show how ignorant I was, I didn’t realize the Sphinx was right next to the Pyramids. But, it was. And, right next to the Pyramids and the Sphinx was a sidewalk. And on the other side of the sidewalk was a city with cars and people and businesses and houses and everything. It was totally mind-blowing, if you didn’t see it coming.

Anyway, we visited the Cairo Museum and stopped by a restaurant before we headed back to the Pyramids. I could talk for days about the Museum. And will, one day; stay tuned. But, at the restaurant, almost everybody ordered something to eat. A couple of us picky eaters didn’t. But I was hungry. So I found a phone book, a phone, some Egyptian coins, and an operator that spoke English. So I called the Cairo Pizza Hut. Really. And, guess what? They deliver. Really. So I had Pizza Hut deliver me a pizza and a Pepsi. To the Sphinx. Really. By the time the bus got over there, I could see the Pizza Hut delivery boy standing there with a pizza in one hand and a Pepsi in the other, looking at every vehicle that went by. I stuck my head out of the window and yelled. He saw me, held up the pizza, and I got off the bus as quickly as I could. I paid him for the pizza and Pepsi, and gave him a nice tip. He went away happy, and I sat down and ate me a Pizza Hut pizza and drank me a Pepsi-Cola right in front of the Sphinx. It was awesome.

I have some other stories to tell about that day; you have been warned.