Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Haiku

White Trash Wednesdays

Basil and me was talkin' this weekend, and he mentioned hiku haiku. At first, I thought he was talkin' 'bout the store-brand version of Hi-C or Kool-Aid, like what you find at the Piggly Wiggly. But then I realized he was talkin' 'bout that Chinese Korean Japanese poetry that don't rime thyme rhyme.

But I showed him I knew what he was talkin' 'bout. And I did, really. After all, I wastch [adult swim] on TV at nite.

he was a little ckeptical sceptical skeptical at first, but he finally believed me. And he asked me if I's I'd like to share some today.

here goes:
DESIRE
Damn, in that tube-top
You make me almost forget
You are my cousin

OPTIONS
Unemployment's out
Hey, maybe I can get on
Disability

REMORSE
A painful sadness
Can't fit big screen TV through
Double-wide's front door

DEPRIVED
In Wal-Mart toy aisle
Wailing boy wants 'rassling doll
Mama whups his ass

If you got any hiku haikus to share, do so. I love this non-riming non-rhyming poetry stuff.

More White Trash Wednesday:
Agent Bedhead
And Rightly So!
Area417
basil's blog
BOBO BLOGGER
Cranky Neocon
Dangerous Logic
Feisty Republican Whore
HECTOR VEX
It Is What It Is
Lost In Lima Ohio
MacStansbury.org
Mean Ol' Meany
Merri Musings
MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy
Pirate's Cove
Riehl World View
Rightwingsparkle
Six Meat Buffet
Sortapundit
Stupid Random Thoughts
SubTerfuge
The Ebb & Flow Institute
The Jawa Report
The Nose On Your Face
THE STEEL DEAL
The Therapist
Vince Aut Morire

Headline News 2006-01-31

From ABC News:
Maya Angelou Remembers Coretta Scott King
"She was the lady from Georgia, right?"

From ABC News:
Rumsfeld Fires Back at Critics
Aim getting better, hits Woodruff

From ABC News:
Liberal Groups Start Campaigning Against 'Culture of Corruption'
Will shut self down in three months

From ABC News:
Putin's salty tongue spices up Moscow politics
Not yet explained why it tastes salty

From ABC News:
Hilton profit up 62 percent on room rate hikes
Paris now charging by the hour

From ABC News:
NASA Spacecraft Put in Hibernation Mode
Will be awakened when returns to earth overrun by monkeys

From ABC News:
Archaeologists Find 10,000-Year-Old Site
Instapundit been around longer than first realized

From ABC News:
Olympian Dreams Deaf Son Hears Cheers
Better than last dream, standing naked in crowded street

From ABC News:
Sundance Film Festival Gears Up to Showcase the 'Next Big Thing'
"Brock Lesnar Story" to be released next month

From ABC News:
'Walk the Line' Snubbed for 'Best Picture'
Producers: Should have left in sex scene between Cash, Statler Brothers

Picnic 2006-01-31

Items I found while perusing my blogroll.

Monday, January 30, 2006

Posting Images On Your Blogger Blog


BlogTipsBasilIn recent months, Blogger has added many, many features to its system. One of the drawbacks of Blogger in the past was the fact that it didn't include the ability to include images on your blog. To include images, you had to use a third-party service. They recommended Picasa (Hello).

But that was then. This is now.

Blogger now includes the ability to add pictures built-in to its system.

Here's how...

Headline News 2006-01-30

From ABC News:
Dominatrix Acquitted in Bondage Death
Jury didn't want to be "naughty, need to be punished"

From ABC News:
Man Signs Voter Registration As 'God'
Voted Republican

From ABC News:
Radar Little Help in Border Tunnel Hunt
Klinger to try tomorrow

From ABC News:
Alito Would Create Catholic Majority on Top Court
Pope's secret plan to take over the U.S. nearly complete

From ABC News:
Kraft Foods to Eliminate 8,000 Jobs
Li'l Oscar, Mr Peanut among those laid off

From ABC News:
Is Porn a Growing or Shrinking Business?
Grows again about 15-20 minutes after it shrinks

From ABC News:
Annoying Online Posts Could Be Illegal
However, we expect to make bail

From ABC News:
Are You Bloated? It Could Be a Symptom of a Serious Disease
PMS classified as "serious disease"

From ABC News:
Tom Cruise front-runner for worst acting award
Critics shocked to discover during Oprah, Today Show appearances, he wasn't acting

From Washington Post:
African American Museum to Be Built on Mall
Next to Chick-Fil-A

Picnic 2006-01-30

Items I found while perusing my blogroll.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

It's A Jungle Out There

I feel like Adrian Monk.

Now if any of my sisters ... or the Wife ... or the children ... read that, they'd laugh. Because they know just how much I am not like Adrian Monk.

Oh, I got my quirks, but I'm not always going around asking for wipes. Nor am I afraid of milk. So, no, I'm not like Adrian Monk.

But I think I might be coming down with whatever he's got.

And you might, too, after reading this.

I don't use public restrooms a lot. But it's inevitable that I use them from time to time.

Whether it's at work, at a ballgame, on a trip ... there comes a time that I must use the restroom. And something happened the other day that gave me pause.

I was ... somewhere ... and I had just brushed my teeth after a meal. I heard someone ... finishing up ... at a urinal. As I completed my routine, I noticed the person leaving the urninal and headed ... to the door.

Without washing.

Of course, that happens all the time. So, it wasn't that unusual. What are you gonna do.

So, after I put away my stuff, I went to the door and reached for the handle.

The same handle that Mr. Urinates-But-Doesn't-Wash-His-Hands-Afterwards had used. With those hands.

The hands that had just been used to aim Mr. Willy at the deodorant cake in the urinal.

And here I was, inches away from grabbing the door handle. The urine-stained, Mr. Willy-stained door handle.

I turned around and went to the paper towel dispenser, grabbed a paper towel, and used it to open the door.

Just like Mr. Monk would do.

Now, I keep a paper towel in my pocket, just in case I end up at a restroom that uses those horrible air dryers. Regardless, I use a paper towel to open the door handle to the men's room.

Anyway, I don't really think I'm turning in to Adrian Monk. But he's got the right idea about some things.

Oh, by the way. Anyone know where I can buy some Sierra Springs water? Or some Lever 2000 wipes?

Picnic 2006-01-29

Items I found while perusing my blogroll.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Pamela of Atlas Shrugs

Today's interview is with another one of my favorites: Pamela from Atlas Shrugged...


Our panel is ready with the questions...
crowd

Now, the first question...

Picnic 2006-01-28

Items I found while perusing my blogroll.

Friday, January 27, 2006

Vince Aut Morire

The Blog Interviews continue with one of my favorites: Vince Aut Morire ...
VinceAutMorire

The interview panel is ready to go...
crowd

First question?

Headline News 2006-01-27

From CNN:
Iran to provide emergency gas to Georgia
Waycross residents ready for cold weather

From CNN:
Colombia breaks al Qaeda-linked passport ring
Using ring, find code reads "besuretodrinkyourovaltine"

From CNN:
German hostages on al Jazeera
New reality show "Survior: Baghdad"

From CNN:
Poll: Majority think Bush is failing
Not expected to win a third term

From CNN:
Fossil hunters make rare find in basement
Mrs. Bates located

From AP/Macon Telegraph:
Miffed wife reportedly snips hubby's penis
Man tells authorities he woke up when he felt a little prick

From AP/AZCentral:
Man's hiccup-cure idea for nephew turns deadly

The good news is, the hiccups stopped

From WFAA:
Debate Heats Up After Alleged Roach Sandwich
New KFC menu offers roaches in original and extra-crispy

From Biloxi Sun-Herald:
Jail Inmate Escapes, but Falls Down Hill
Jack recaptured, Jill still at large

From ABC News:
Woman Accused of Driving Bloodmobile Drunk
Countess Dracula held without bond

Picnic 2006-01-27

Items I found while perusing my blogroll.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Evil Glenn's Spacecraft

A Filthy LieProfessor Hubert J. Farnsworth walked into the room.

"Good news, everyone!" the professor exclaimed. "We've just acquired the contract for the Glenn Reynolds Institute."

Turanga Leela and Philip J. Fry looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders.

"What's that, Professor?" Leela asked.

"What's what?" the professor asked back.

"The Glenn Reynolds Institute," Leela said.

"Oh, my! I've been trying to get the contract from them for years," the professor replied, "but I'm afraid we'll be shut out again this year."

Fry spoke up. "Didn't you just say we acquired the contract for the Glenn Reynolds Institue?"

"Oh, you've heard the news," Professor Farnsworth said. "Drat! I wanted to be the one to tell you."

"So, what's the Glenn Reynolds Institue, Professor?" Fry asked.

Headline News 01-26-2006

From CNN:
'Little Old Lady Killer' suspect is former pro wrestler
Attorney: Was practicing for Texas Death Match with Trish Stratus at Wrestlemania

From CNN:
School named after Johnnie Cochran
'Take Money To Help Rich Killers Elude Justice' Elementary School to open this Fall

From CNN:
Five women prisoners freed in Iraq
Can go back to raising tomorrow's terrorists

From WRAL:
$20 Million worth of cocaine seized
Marion Barry vacations in North Carolina

From KSAT:
Toddler hospitalized with cocaine overdose
Marion Barry's baby-sitting service hits snag

From CNN:
Clinton: Bush explanation on spying 'far-fetched'
Adds: "And if anyone knows 'far-fetched' explanations, it's me."

From CNN:
Source: Sex.com sold for $12 million
Still available: drugs.com, rock-and-roll.com

From CNN:
Scientists discover world's smallest fish
Caught with world's smallest bait

From CNN:
Oprah to author: 'I really feel duped'
Adds: 'Now I know how men who are talked into watching my show feel'

From CNN:
Male student wins fight to wear skirt
Voted "Most Likely To Get His Butt Kicked Before The End Of The Year"

Picnic 01-26-2006

Items I found while perusing my blogroll.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Watching The News

When I was a child, we used to watch the news on TV from the stations in Savannah. They were the nearest stations to my home town.

Back then, they only had two stations: WSAV (channel 3) was the NBC affiliate, who also carried some ABC stuff. WTOC (channel 11) was the CBS affiliate.

I liked WSAV better. After all, they carried Star Trek and Get Smart. Of course, WTOC carried Gilligan's Island and Green Acres. So, I did watch WTOC sometimes.

Yes, both had shows I liked, but when it came to the news, it was WSAV hands-down.

Remember (if you're old enough, that is) that NBC (WSAV) had the Huntley-Brinkley Report. The one that had the intro from the second movement of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony as the theme song. And ended with "Good night, David." "Good night, Chet. And good night from NBC News."

I liked the Huntley-Brinkely Report. Much, much better than Walter Cronkite. My dislike for Cronkite is not new, nor even recent.

Anyway, I liked the news on WSAV.

I also liked the local news on WSAV. Well, I watched it. It came on at 6:00 PM. And it was one of the old-style newscasts with a block of three programs making up the 30-minute news block.

At 6:00 PM, it was Dateline Savannah. And I don't remember anything about the news anchors. But, since it was what channel 3 carried, it's what we watched.

I don't remember much about the sports show. Other than the theme was something like "Heeeeeyyyyy, sports! It's time for sports..." or something.

But the weather program was Cap'n Sandy. The weatherman was a fellow named Joe Cox, although we didn't know that for like years later when they re-did the news block and made him dress different.

Cap'n Sandy was dressed as a sailor and had a theme song:
"Yo-ho! Yo-ho! What's the weather going to be?
Here's the man who knows; let's take a look and see!
Here is Captain Sandy with the weather he has found
For Savannah and for Chatham and the counties all around."

Yes, it's scary that I remember that.

Anyway, Cap'n Sandy did his little weather shtik that involved him standing in front of a map of the US (just the outlines of the 48 contiguous states) drawing "warm fronts" and "cold fronts" and "stationary fronts" before writing down all the temperatures from the various cities across the country. He always ended with Caribou, Maine. I don't know why. Maybe he had a love child up there.

He'd go over to the big thermometer and Wilbur the Weatherbird would come down with the next day's forecast in his mouth. He'd shake or nod his head based on Cap'n Sandy's questions. Of course, you could see the strings on Wilbur. We didn't care.

Cap'n Sandy would head over to Davy Jones' Locker, open the door, and there'd be Calamity Clam. I am not making any of this up. There was a clam in there that had the tide information in it's mouth. And the idea was that Cap'n Sandy would try to grab it out of Calamity Clam's mouth without his hand getting bitten. He usually made it. But not always.

You just don't see newscasts like that anymore. I'm not sure if that's a good thing, or a bad thing.

So, what brought this up? Well, from my window yesterday, I could see rescue crews across the river in Alabama putting boats into the water to search for a body. They found the man. Both the news crews in Columbus had the information: WTVM and WRBL.

It's fascinating to watch news unfold. In a previous career as a news director at a radio station, I saw news unfold.

Fascinating, yes. But sometimes, it's more comforting to watch Cap'n Sandy *.

Update: Thank you, thank you, thank you to tybeebum for the following:


[The YouTube]

Headline News 01-25-2006

From CNN:
Actor Chris Penn found dead
Bush blamed

From CNN:
Pinochet's oldest daughter held in U.S.
Likes to cuddle

From KERO:
Local Church Members Try To Turn Porn Stars To Christianity
Reasons "They already know how to cry 'Oh! God!'"

From WLKY:
Marshals: Inmate let out to donate organ flees
Still has kidney, but no heart

From WPLG:
Student says Joe Pesci punched him
Said Pesci 'was funny, like a clown'

From KPRC:
Dog causes three-car crash
Will lose driver's license

From KETV:
Woman comes home to find dog beaten
Cat held for questioning

From CNN:
Georgia closer to requiring photo ID to vote
Democrats to counter by issuing IDs to corpses

From CNN:
'Panda porn' to encourage mating
Jenna Jameson signs deal with National Geographic channel

From CNN:
Kids' heart repairs might not last lifetime
Study clarifies: "If, however, by 'lifetime' you mean until the end of a life, then, yes, it will last a lifetime'"

Picnic 01-25-2006

Items I found while perusing my blogroll.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Squeaking Beds and Wrestling

White Trash Wednesdays

Been trying to talk to Basil about his sister who got runned over the other day. And yesterday morning, I called and spoke with Mimi (his wife), but she wouldn't talk to me. She said she needed to use the phone.

I was thinking she didn't like me or something. Maybe so. Anyhow, I found out later that she was gonna call in to that morning radio show she listens to. Basil listens to John-boy and Billy on that rockin roll station, but she's got her radio on Wild Bill McKubby on Kissin' Country 99.3 FM. That's my kind of music.

And what she was mad at me about was I kept her from calling in to the contest they had on the radio station. Seems that Wild Bill was having folks call in for their "squeekiest bed" contest.

Yep. They wanted folks to call in and let him listen to their squeeky beds. And he was putting it on the radio.

That's my kind of radio station contest.

But here's the kicker. The winner got tickets to the wrestling show in Columbus!

That's my kind of radio station!


More Whtie Trash Wednesdays

Agent Bedhead
Alabama Improper
And Rightly So!
BOBO BLOGGER
Dangerous Logic
Feisty Republican Whore
HECTOR VEX
It Is What It Is
Lost In Lima Ohio
Mean Ol' Meany
Merri Musings
MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy
Pennsylvanian in exile
Pirate's Cove
Public Figures
Riehl World View
Right Truth
Rightwingsparkle
Six Meat Buffet
Sortapundit
Stupid Random Thoughts
The Jawa Report
The Nose On Your Face
The Therapist
Vince Aut Morire

Headline News 01-24-2006

From ABC News:
UPN, WB to Form New Network
Now only one channel to skip instead of two

From ABC News:
Bat Love Life: Size Does Matter
Robin tells all

From ABC News:
Is Dog and Cat Fur Being Used in Coats?
Disney sues for royalties on behalf of Cruella de Ville

From ABC News:
Six die in Brazil prison riot, 2 held hostage
Bush blamed

From ABC News:
McDonald's posts higher net, plans 800 new outlets
Ford factory workers plight improves

From ABC News:
AOL Music launches gay music site
Spokesman: "Since most of our content is totally gay, it fit"

From KGTV:
Wrongly-convicted man claims conspiracy
Karl Rove blamed

From KMBC:
Sheriff shuts down barn strip club
Cow strippers to find work elsewhere

From KMGH:
Another federal agent's ID, gun stolen
Jack Bauer's life gets more difficult

From CNN:
O'Connor breaks what may be her last 4-4 tie
Alito ready to start overturning Constitution

Picnic 01-24-2006

Items I found while perusing my blogroll.

Update On The Big Sister (Who's 5'4" And Very Sore)

In case you missed it, she was injured in a traffic incident on Saturday. In a cemetery.

She went to see her doctor yesterday, and she was told that she seems to be okay. The doctor wanted her to come back later this week for a follow-up, but other than some bruising, everything appeared to be okay.

I didn't cover everything yesterday regarding the aftermath. This might be a good time.

Saturday night (the night of the injury), before she left the hospital, her husband "The Chief" (he's Chief of Police of a city in Georgia) arrived. He got there in pretty good time. It's nearly 90 miles from their town to the hometown where everything happened. He made it in pretty good time.

Anyway, The Chief got there and the two of them made their plans on how to handle the vehicle being fixed. They spent the night at her parents' house and the next morning had everything planned.

The Little Sister (who's 6'0") and her husband "The Big Bossman" (he's a prison guard in Florida) and their daughter were taking the van to Waycross to be fixed. Since Waycross is pretty much on the way from the hometown to their home in Florida, that worked out.

The Wife and I took the Big Sister (who's 5'4" and very sore) to her house, since it wasn't far out of the way for us. She was unable to climb up in The Chief's truck, and a car ride was more comfortable for her, so we did the transportation.

When we got her home, she was starting to be hungry, and she wanted Chicken McNuggets. We set her up in her recliner with her telephones (home phone and cell phone), a drink (Diet Coke), the remote, and a Star Trek movie. Then we went to McDonald's, get her stuff, and brought it back.

When she started eating, she realized how hungry she was. She felt better.

The Little Sister (who's 6'0") and The Bossman called. Since the dealership was closed on Sunday, they needed to know how she wanted the van handled. The dealership in Waycross was easy to reach (after-hours pager), called her back quickly, and helped with instructions on leaving the vehicle and keys. I wish I knew the name of the place. The Big Sister (who's 5'4" and very sore) is very pleased with their service. That's why she bought her van from them, nearly 150 miles from her house.

Shortly after that, we left.

Monday, I spoke with her, and she told me about the visit to the doctor and the planned follow-up. She was eating when I called her. I could hear the sounds of the restaurant.

She was feeling well enough to go in and sit down to eat, which to me, was a good sign. She felt well enough to do that.

Thanks to everyone who has left words of encouragement along with thoughts and prayers. They are much appreciated.

She seems to be improving greatly. And I'm glad.

I'll soon be able to pick on her again!

Monday, January 23, 2006

Headline News 01-23-2006

From ABC News:
Bush to Take Unscripted Audience Questions
Answers to still be scripted

From ABC News:
Woman Claims Sundae Tainted With Blood
McDonald's to stop offering "Lil' Dracula" Happy Meal

From ABC News:
Animal Rights Activists Stage Nude Protest
Really ugly activists not winning support

From ABC News:
Runaway Camel Survives Bumpy Ride
New Six Flags Riyad opens to mixed reviews

From ABC News:
Suspected Robber Leaves His Name, Address
County to replace name with number, provide new address

From The Tampa Tribune:
Woman Sentenced for Setting Man on Fire
Misunderstood man's desire for 'hot sex'

From BBC:
Drunken students posted hamster
Richard Gere thankful to have it back, will not press charges

From AFP/News24:
Trapped woman rescued from chimney
Charged with stalking Santa Claus

From The Local:
Kidnapped gnomes found in snowy forest
To be returned to underpants factory

From ABC News:
John Kerry Bashes Bush Wiretaps, Talks of 2008
GOP to finance Kerry campaign

Picnic 01-23-2006

Items I found while perusing my blogroll.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

It's Never a Good Weekend When Your Father Runs Over Your Sister

The weekend promised to be a good one from the start. The Wife and I had planned to visit Grandma. You see, we didn't get to see her at Christmas. I came down with a cold over the holidays and I didn't want to risk her catching anything from me. She is 92, after all.

We had hoped to visit last weekend, but she went to a concert in Savannah with her daughter, and we put off our visit until this weekend.

Then, we found out our niece was in the "Miss Teen" pageant for the county. It was running in conjunction with the "Miss" pageant, with both winners advancing to the "Miss Georgia" (and "Miss Teen Georgia") pageant. Of course, Miss Georgia advances to Miss America pageant. Like the one this past Saturday where Miss Georgia and Miss Alabama came in as First Runner Up and Second Runner Up. That Miss America pageant.

Anyway, my niece (okay, I have several nieces, but this is the one that gave me The Complete Works of William Shakespeare for Christmas), daughter of the Mean Sister (who's 5'6"), is 13 and in the 8th grade. And she was competing in the "Miss Teen" pageant for the county.

So, it promised to be a fun, pleasing, and exciting weekend. All the markings of a great weekend.

Then my father ran over my Big Sister (who's 5'4" and very sore).

Open Post 01-22-2006

Unforseen events are not allowing me the time to peruse the blogroll this morning. Perhaps we'll be able to cover those later (tomorrow, perhaps). But today's busy with other stuff.

So, if have something you'd like to talk about, leave a comment. Or, if you have an interesting post that you'd like to share, please leave a TrackBack to that post, and please link to this post so that others can enjoy the fun.

If you need help with TrackBacks, Harvey of Bad Example has an excellent primer here, or check out my post about TrackBacks here.

If your blog can't generate TrackBacks, use either the form here or here.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Sticks of From Chaos to Serendipity

Today's interview is with Sticks of From Chaos to Serendipity...


The panel is ready...


Now, the first question...

Picnic 01-21-2006

Items I found while perusing my blogroll.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Sortapundit

This weekend, we have another pair of great interviews scheduled. Today, we have Sortapundit...
Sortapundit

The interview panel is ready...

Picnic 01-20-2006

Items I found while perusing my blogroll.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Changing Planes

Recently, in an e-mail exchange with Harvey, I made a crack about having to change planes in Atlanta and Chicago. Originally, my not-so-funny funny was going to say I had to change planes in Atlanta ... twice. But I realized that, as ridiculous as that was, it wasn't really all that funny. So, I scrapped it, and went with the more realistic Hartsfield and O'Haire changing planes in the sentence I wrote to him.

But it got me to thinking about air travel. And the best ... and worst ... air travel experience I ever had.

It was 1990 and I was stationed at Ft. Belvoir (VA). It was also nearly Christmas, and the opportunity to head home for a few days was something I was going to take advantage of.

So, I bought me a ticket on American Airlines.

At Ft. Belvoir, since it's so close to Washington, the Metro buses run through the post. So, I packed my bags and hopped a Metro bus to Huntington Station. From there, I took the train to Washington (now Reagan) National.

Since I hadn't traveled much by air at the time, it was still a little bit of an experience getting through the airport. Remember, this was 15 years ago when air travel was so much simpler.

Anyway, I arrived not-quite-late for the flight, and was one of the last to board. I remember at the ticket counter a family having discussions with the airline personnel, but didn't think much of it. I was going to see the children for Christmas!

I got seated ... on the back row of the airplane ... and was ready for my trip.

After a bit, I heard announcements being made, but I didn't care. I was excited about heading home.

A few minutes later, another announcement. Again, I didn't pay attention. Just realized they were announcing something.

We continued to sit on the ground, and it was past time for the plane to take off. Then another announcement. The weather had been threatening, and I decided to listen, just in case it was something I needed to hear.

What I heard was a plea for someone to give up a seat so a family could travel together. They apparently had been offering incentives for people to give up their seat. So I paid attention.

They were offering an upgraded (first class) ticket on the next scheduled flight to Savannah, plus a $600 travel credit.

So, I could do a good deed, lose only about four hours, and get a credit for future travel. Sounded good, so I stood up and got the flight attendants' attention.

Since I was taking the next flight, and it was only a few hours later, the luggage stayed on the plane and I'd catch up with it at Savannah.

So, they escorted me off, and I saw the family needing the seat at the counter. It was the same family that had been talking with the airline personnel when I boarded.

They gave me my ticket ... first class ... and wrote me up a credit. And I went and ate.

When I came back to wait for the next flight, the weather had gotten worse. And my flight (not the one I had given up, the make-up flight I had a first class ticket for) was delayed.

And delayed.

And delayed.

And finally cancelled.

Now, American Airlines was kind enough to set me up with another flight. On another airline. Turns out that they were shutting down almost all flights out of National. But since the other airline had flights out of Dulles, I agreed. So I got to looking for a way to Dulles.

Taxis were expensive. In fact, a limo was cheaper. So I hired a limo to take me, a soldier with no luggage, from National Airport to Dulles Airport.

When I got to Dulles, I got to the ticket counter and explained the situation. They had me hooked up, but told me the weather was bad. Of course, I had already figured that out.

Anyhow, they started canceling flights. And they finally cancelled mine. They said they'd put me up in a close-by hotel (the Hilton) and get me on an early flight the next morning.

The next morning wasn't exactly when the flight left. It was late morning before it took off. But it did. Only the thing was, it wasn't a direct flight to Savannah, as orginally scheduled. This one stopped in Raleigh/Durham. Which was okay.

I got off at Raleigh/Durham to change planes. I waited around, reading newspapers and solving puzzles in a book I bought in Washington. Finally, the plane for the leg to Savannah arrived.

I watched everyone get off the flight.

Everyone.

No, really. Everyone.

Including the flight crew.

They got off the jet and left.

They went home.

Sick, officially, but it was the "blue flu" ... a work slowdown because of a labor dispute. And guess what flight they chose to get "sick" for? Yep. My flight.

So, there's the airline personnel trying to figure out what they can say to all the passengers that were now stranded.

Closing in on midnight, they came up with the idea to get a bus to take folks to Savannah. I was one of those that agreed to take the airlines bus.

I was awake most of the six-hour or so bus ride. And so were many of the other travellers.

I don't remember much about the trip, other than thinking how crazy the whole thing was.

Turns out the driver had never been to Savannah. He knew it was on I-95, but didn't know much more than that. He looked through his papers for instructions on how to get to the airport in Savannah, but was having to ... you know ... drive the bus.

He found out I was from southeast Georgia and knew where the Savannah airport was. Well, I had an idea. I had never approached it from the north.

He thought I was a smart-ass when I told him when he got to Georgia, he could look for the big green exit sign that said "Airport." Maybe I was, but you know what? There's a big green sign that says "Airport" and if you follow the sign, you end up at the airport. So, it wasn't hard to do. Or tell. And, he might have thought I was a smart-ass, but he found out how easy it was to find the airport in Savannah.

Anyway, we got off the plane and I had to find my luggage. Only it was all locked up.

Savannah's not a big airport. And some of the airlines stations close at night. And don't open early on Sunday morning.

But, there it was, 5:00 AM on a Sunday in the Savannah airport, with one security guard who was waiting for the end of his shift, and a bunch of people not from around there. Except for me. Well, not from Savannah. But from a little over an hour away.

Anyway, no one from the airline was there to meet us. But they stations weren't locked.

So, I found the telephone and started calling people. I let my family know we had arrived, and I helped the Yankees that were visiting folks in Savannah get ahold of their hosts.

I finally got my luggage after airline personnel showed up and got me off their phone. And I got in the car with family and went to spend Christmas.

And in my pocket was a $600 credit for the next time I decided I wanted the fun experience of air travel.

Headline News 01-19-2006

From ABC News:
Iceland the First Country to Try Abandoning Gasoline
Moose to run on grass and grain

From ABC News:
Study: Men Enjoy Seeing Bad People Suffer
List includes terrorists, pedophiles, ex-wives

From ABC News:
Thousands of German Doctors Protest Pay
Bush blamed

From ABC News:
Experts to Search Bangladesh for Sandpiper
DVD overdue at Blockbuster for months

From ABC News:
Nickelodeon, Kellogg Targets of Lawsuit
Asks removal of GAK Flakes from store shelves

From ABC News:
1970s Teen Idol Leif Garrett Charged
1978 "Feel The Need" album called "crime against humanity"

From ABC News:
Ex-Chief Takes Katrina Blame
Len Dawson admits mistake

From ABC News:
Feds Seek Google Records in Porn Probe
Internet usage grounds to a halt

From ABC News:
Bill Clinton on AIDS, Iran, Secret Spying and His Wife's Career
Former president: "Been tested, should've bombed them, did it, glad it gets her out of the house"

From ABC News:
Woman in Wendy's Chili Finger Case Has Regrets
Ayala: "I should have used a toe"

Picnic 01-19-2006

Items I found while perusing my blogroll.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Telescope

When I was a around ten years old, one of the favorite things I had was a telescope. It was loads of fun.

You see, around that time was when the moon landing occurred. I was a big fan of the space program. Although I don't remember the Mercury program, I remember watching the Gemini launches (or holds). And I remember Project Apollo.

And having a telescope was something that allowed me to see space up close. Sort of.

It was a 200 power telescope, although I never used that power. At 200x it inverted the image. And I never could get used to seeing things upside down. And having to go left to see right. At least, that's how it seemed to me. So, I always used 100x lenses.

I'm not, and never was, an expert in telescopes or optics or anything. But I enjoyed my telescope.

I would sometimes point it at the pecan trees in the field near the house. I could see the leaves so clearly. And, since that was shortly after I first needed glasses, I wasn't used to seeing things clearly. So that was a treat for me.

Sometimes, I'd take the telescope out to the road and point it towards town. Standing beside the road, it was a straight shot of a little over a mile to the city limits of a town of 9,091. I couldn't tell much about it. I could tell the cars reached the fork in the road when most cars went to the right and downtown and most trucks went to the left for thru traffic.

But what I really liked was using the telescope at night. I'd point the telescope towards the moon. And I'd see the craters and the "oceans" and that was cool. Tycho crater was quite a sight with its rays spreading out over the lower section of the moon.

I really enjoyed my telescope, for as long a time as anything I had as a child. And I have wanted one since then.

Until last year. Actually, Christmas 2004. Yes, nearly 13 months ago.

The Wife gave me a telescope for Christmas that year. And it's something that has really meant a lot to me.

But here's the thing. I haven't used it. For a couple of reasons, actually.

One is that I'm actually afraid I wouldn't enjoy it. It was really great when I was around ten years old. But I'm pushing fifty now. And I'm scared it wouldn't be the same.

Another reason is that, well, as a ten year old, I seemed to have more time. Heck, I hardly ever did homework. Oh, I had homework. I just hardly ever did it. So, I had time.

And while I did wear glasses, being near-sighted, I was able to see things up close. I never really needed glasses for reading. Books. I needed glasses to see the chalkboard in school. But not to read a book. Or to use a telescope.

Today, I can't do anything without my glasses. Well, I can't do lots of things without my glasses, let's put it that way. But I can't read without them. I don't know how I'd do with a telescope.

But, just because I haven't used the new telescope doesn't mean I don't like the telescope. I do. I really do.

The Wife doesn't think I do though. And that's unfair to her.

I need to get off my butt and take a chance at actually using the telescope. There's a full moon. Well, we're about five days past the full moon. But still, there's a lot of moon to see.

And I want to grab that enjoyment of those days again. And maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to share them with the grandchildren.

Now there's a reason to do it, if there ever was one.

Headline News 01-18-2006

From ABC News:
High Court Skirts Abortion Issue
Ginsberg, O'Connor past finally catches up with them

From ABC News:
Face Transplant Patient Smokes Again
Brain transplant failed

From ABC News:
Clarkson Won't Let 'Idol' Use Her Songs
Spokesman: "What did 'American Idol' ever do for her?"

From ABC News:
Woman Poses Naked on Car at Auto Show
Charged with public farfegnugen

From ABC News:
Hamster, Snake Best Friends at Tokyo Zoo
Richard Gere jealous

From Houston Chronicle:
Disputed Study: Rape Rare in Prisons
But worth the wait

From Chicago Sun-Times:
Name change should stop the snickers
Milky Way to continue

From Reuters:
TV in the bedroom halves your sex life - study
Bush blamed

From ABC News:
9 Years for Wendy's Finger Fraud
One for each remaining finger

From ABC News:
Spreading the Gospel Through Pro Wrestling
Austin 3:16 cited as most popular verse

Picnic 01-18-2006

Items I found while perusing my blogroll.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Jehovah's Witnesses

White Trash Wednesdays

I like sleeping late on weekends. I don't normally get to bed til about three o'clock in the morning most days, and I got to get up early most weekdays. Well, I don't got to, but when the school buses come by, it wakes me up.

Anyway, on Saturday mornings since there ain't no school buses, I get to sleep in. And sleep it off.

But this past Saturday, there come a knock on the door. Me and the old lady looked at each other and wondered who in the world it coulda been. Since she didn't move, and since they kept beating on the door, I found me the cleanest t-shirt on the floor and put it on. I grabbed me a pair of dungarees and slid them on too, then stepped over the pizza boxes and went to the front door.

I moved the curtain aside and there was this fellow standing there just a smiling. There was a Dodge van in the yard with three other folks inside.

I opened the door. Big mistake.

He started talking about how bad this country was going down the road to hell and did I have a sense that something was missing and something else, but I warn't fully awake so I don't know what all he said.

I stood there, needing to go pee real bad, shifting from one leg to the other. I nodded with him on most of what he said, agreeing with much of it.

He ended up leaving me a copy of the Watchtower and thanking me. And then left quickly. Probably because I had farted.

Then he got back in the van and they headed back to the road to go visit someone else.

I told the old lady and she got onthe phone and started to calling all the neighbors to warn them. Some had to get the kids to the back of the house so they wouldn't answer the door. Others had to run out the back when the Jehovah's Witnesses got to the front porch. Others untied the dogs.

Anyway, I'm not making fun of the Jehovah's Witnesses. They have a good sense of right and wrong. You dont' usually got to worry about one of them knocking over a liquor store or robbing a bank. So I aint't got nothing bad to say about them.

I don't agree with everything they preach. Like Heaven will take 144,000. No more, no less.

But I could be wrong on that point and they could be right. About the 144,000. Cause I know they got that many. That's how many Jehovah's Witnesses have knock on my front door in the last six months.

More Whtie Trash Wednesdays

Agent Bedhead
Alabama Improper
And Rightly So!
BOBO BLOGGER
Dangerous Logic
Feisty Republican Whore
HECTOR VEX
It Is What It Is
Lost In Lima Ohio
Mean Ol' Meany
Merri Musings
MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy
Pennsylvanian in exile
Pirate's Cove
Public Figures
Riehl World View
Right Truth
Rightwingsparkle
Six Meat Buffet
Sortapundit
Stupid Random Thoughts
The Jawa Report
The Nose On Your Face
The Therapist
Vince Aut Morire

Headline News 01-17-2006

From ABC News:
Minn. Students Find 'Royal' a Sex Convict
Diana's tapes released

From ABC News:
AP Poll: Blacks Likelier to Celebrate MLK
Same poll says sun liklier to rise in east

From ABC News:
Stupid in America
Register at democrats.org

From ABC News:
Pope Gunman Said Unfit for the Military
Unlike current Pope

From ABC News:
Visa says eyes court action if UK demands fee cuts
Lawsuit: It's everywhere you want to be

From ABC News:
Online Chatting Leads to Virtual Wedding
Couple to have cyber-sex, raise SIMS

From ABC News:
U.S. Opens Bidding to Run Nuclear Lab
Iran places bid

From ABC News:
NBC Shifts Golden Globes to Monday
Pamela Anderson series 'Stacked' moves from Fox to NBC

From ABC News:
Gore Assails Domestic Wiretapping Program
Former VP: "Just because we did it, doesn't mean they can do it"

From CNN:
'Earl of Scooby' was a royal fake
Fred, Daphne, Shaggy solve case

Picnic 01-17-2006

Items I found while perusing my blogroll.

Monday, January 16, 2006

Perverts, Perverts Everywhere And Not A Brain To Think

Hey, anyone want to have fun with a pervert?

Yeah, I got one lurking around here. So, if anyone wants to have fun with them, knock yourself out. After all, he's asked for it. No really. He did.

Here's the e-mail he sent me (language, spelling, other illiteracy warnings):

Picnic 01-16-2006

Items I found while perusing my blogroll.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Monday Makeup Meme

I've done a bad thing. Okay, two bad things.

Alright, I've done other bad things, but this is one bad thing in particular I need to make good.

In December, I was tagged with a meme. And I didn't participate.

No, I don't have to participate in silly memes, but because someone thought enough to tag me, I need to repay the compliment (or insult, whichever) by playing along.

Not that you have to. No, not by any means. That's just how I feel about it.

Anyway, I was tagged and didn't play. That's bad thing number one. Or 1A.

You see, the other bad thing I did was forget who tagged me.

I've thought of another bad thing. I didn't click my blogroll and check all the posts on all the sites until I found the blog that tagged me and what it was about.

So, if you tagged me, let me know. Comment, TrackBack, or e-mail. Just let me know. I want to make it right.

As a way of penance (Baptists can do penance, right?) I'm going to do a couple of memes. But not tag anyone. Since I wasn't tagged by these, and since those that did these didn't tag anyone. But I'm attempting to make things right. In my own special way.

Jack Grant (Randon Fate) did this back in October.
What were three of the stupidest things you have done in your life?

  1. Run with an axe. I nearly lost a finger and still have a nasty scar.

  2. Listened to loud music (or music loudly). I have a hearing loss because of it.

  3. Didn't take my first year of college seriously. It took me years to overcome what I lost that year.


At the current moment, who has the most influence in your life?

  • George Massey. I worked with George years ago. I don't even know if he's alive now. But he told me during a disagreement that he didn't want to hear 50 reasons why something couldn't be done, but one way something could be done. That taught me that there's a way to do most anything that needs to be done. I never forgot that.


If you were given a time machine that functioned, and you were allowed to only pick up to five people to dine with, who would you pick?

  1. My deceased maternal grandfather.

  2. My deceased paternal grandmother.

  3. My deceased paternal grandfather.

  4. My deceased nephew.

  5. My deceased father-in-law (who I never met).


If you had three wishes that were not supernatural, what would they be?

  1. Financial security for the children.

  2. A long, happy life for the children.

  3. Live to see the grandchildren grown.


Name two things you regret your city not having, and two things people should avoid.

  1. Loyal sports fans

  2. Good barbeque (I do not like what passes for barbeque here)



  1. Asking me stupid questions

  2. Most other drivers on the highway (if you cannot get a driver's license anywhere else, they'll let you drive here)


Name one thing that has changed your life.

  • Computers


Keep the virus alive. Swap spit with five hotties.

  • No, since I wasn't sent this, I won't send it on. I'm doing it as penance, remember? But if you want to run with it, by all means...



Another meme I'm doing as penance is one I found at Naked Villany last week:
FOUR JOBS YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE

  1. Radio news director

  2. Electronics salesman

  3. Truckstop manager

  4. Soldier


FOUR MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER

  1. Casablanca

  2. Monty Python and the Holy Grail

  3. The Right Stuff

  4. Blazing Saddles


FOUR BOOKS YOU COULD READ AGAIN & AGAIN

  1. The New Oxford Annotated Bible with the Apocrypha, Revised Standard Version, Expanded Edition

  2. Without Remorse - Tom Clancy

  3. Jurassic Park - Michael Crichton

  4. I, Robot - Isaac Asimov


FOUR CITIES/PLACES YOU'VE LIVED IN

  1. Jacksonville, FL

  2. Gainesville, FL

  3. Valdosta, GA

  4. Phenix City, AL


FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH

  1. 24

  2. The Shield

  3. Monk

  4. Star Trek


FOUR PLACES YOU'VE BEEN ON VACATION

  1. Niagara Falls

  2. Las Vegas

  3. New Orleans

  4. Washington, DC


FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY

  1. Pyjamas Media

  2. Pajamas Mediocrity

  3. It'sAPundit

  4. Public Eye


FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODS

  1. Hamburgers

  2. Steak

  3. Pizza

  4. Broccoli


FOUR PLACES YOU'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW

  1. At a baseball game

  2. At a football game

  3. At the beach

  4. In bed



So, I consider my penance paid for forgetting the memes. But I still owe a meme. This was just the interest on the debt.

Anyway, If you've tagged me for a meme and I failed to follow through, please leave a comment, a TrackBack, or e-mail me the link. I'll make it good.