Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Headline News 2006-10-31

From ABC News:
Man Gets 60 Days for Lewd Photos on Cars
Tawny Kitean still free

From ABC News:
Mayor Mistakenly Hands Out Sex Number
Had kept it for just a few "special friends"

From ABC News:
Truck Spills 2 Tons of Pig Heads on Road
Three tons were ordered

From ABC News:
Mirror Test Implies Elephants Self-Aware
Scientists alternate explanation: Elephants can see

From ABC News:
Salmonella Outbreak Sickens 172 in 18 States
Less than Democrats make sick

From ABC News:
'Youthful' Sex Offender Gets 508 Years in Prison
With good behavior, will be out in 373 years

From ABC News:
Kerry draws Republican fire
Applies for Purple Heart

From ABC News:
Al Jazeera sets launch for English channel
Plans Cape of Good Hope for next year

From ABC News:
Her Majesty's tiniest jail set for island rapists
Penises to be incarcerated

From ABC News:
Iraqi PM Ends Some Joint Checkpoints
Joints now easier to smuggle

Blogrolling 2006-10-31

Items of interest from the blogroll.


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Caffeine

Off all the various addictions folks have, mine is the worst. Because it's mine, you see.

I'm a caffeine addict.

And I don't drink coffee.

I drink Coke. And Diet Coke. And Dr Pepper. And Diet Dr Pepper. And Mello Yello and Mountain Dew. But not the blue, red, orange, green, or other weird-colored Mountain Dews. Just the original yellow. And RC. And Diet RC. And Diet Rite. And...

Anyway, I drink colas and other soft drinks. Regular and diet.

And when I don't, I get a headache. So, I figure I'm addicted. Or at least have a dependency.

So, how do I handle this addiction?

The same way most other addicts of other stuff handle their addictions. I indulge.

Only, sometimes, circumstances intervene.

Like yesterday.

At work, we have a dining facility that has a fountain drink machine. And I'll often go there and get a large fountain drink. And I did that yesterday.

Now, you remember I mentioned I drink Coke and Diet Coke both? Well, I've been overweight for a while. I'm 10-15 pounds heavier than I should weigh. That is, the upper limit of the "desirable" weight for my height and build. At 6'2'' I should weigh no more than 211, according to the Army. And I'm nearly 225. So, I don't drink as many Cokes as I do Diet Cokes. I drink more Cokes when my weight is "in line." When I realize I'm overweight, I switch to Diet Coke.

Anyhow, both Coke and Diet Coke have caffeine. And right now, I'm drinking Diet Cokes, not Cokes.

And that's what I wanted to do yesterday.

But the Diet Coke was out. But they had Caffeine-Free Diet Coke. Yes, all the flavor of a diet drink, but none of the caffeine rush. Great. Freakin' great.

And that was breakfast.

For lunch, I walked over and met the Wife for lunch. And got a Diet Coke.

Subway has the medium-sized drinks ... about 20 oz., I think ... so I usually get a refill.

But not yesterday. When I was getting a refill, the drink came out ... flat. And, sure enough, the lady that changes the CO2 bottle was standing behind me when I turned around. And I waited while she changed the bottle.

After she was done, she checked the drinks to make sure the carbonation thingy was working right.

So, she went back to the back, and I went to get my refill of Diet Coke.

And the darn thing ran out. I get about a third of Diet Coke into my cup, then the stream went clear. Like it does when the syrup is out.

By this time, I had to get back to work, so I didn't get another Diet Coke. But I knew we had drinks in the fridge at the house. So I bided my time.

And when I got home last night? There in the fridge was ... Diet Rite. Which has no calories. And no caffeine.

No, I won't switch to coffee. But I'm stopping by the Piggly Wiggly this morning and getting me a 2-liter of Diet Coke to drink at work.

I'm thinking I'll have it finished off about 10:00.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Headline News 2006-10-30

From ABC News:
Whitney Houston Says She Feels `great'
Tells reporters "go ahead and feel me"

From ABC News:
Missing U.S. Soldier Has Married Iraqi Student
Couldn't wait to become a teacher in the US

From ABC News:
Military Clamping Down on Soldiers' Blogs
Anti-soldier blogs at all-time high

From ABC News:
Teen's Breast Removed After Piercing Infection
Really feels like a boob now

From ABC News:
Batman Helps Ga. Town Infested by Bats
Offers to pay child support

From ABC News:
Man Builds 3,300-Pound Rubber Band Ball
3,300-pound spitball too difficult to keep moist

From ABC News:
Scientist Finds 100 Million-Year-Old Bee
On box of 100 million-year-old Honey Nut Cheerios

From ABC News:
Pa. Police Station Buzzing With Snakes
Was slithering with flies

From ABC News:
Statue of Dennis the Menace Stolen
Investigators have Ruff time

From ABC News:
St. Louis tops Detroit in violent crime rankings
Expected to complete trifecta with next week's voter fraud

Blogrolling 2006-10-30

Items of interest from the blogroll.


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New Member of the Clan

As this little blog is proud to be a member of the Bad Example Clan, we have the ability ... and the responsibility ... of weighing in on potential members of the Bad Example Clan.

To this end, there is consideration given to Team Swap - Swap Blog for membership.

I half- whole-heartedly endorse Team Swap in their quest.

Why?

Quite simply, they support other bloggers ... particularly new bloggers. They are a good example ... and that's just what the Bad Example Clan needs. That and pictures of smokin' hot babes.
I hope this helps bring them aboard. And that they post pictures of smokin' hot babes.

Then, it's all worthwhile.

Friday, October 27, 2006

Headline News 2006-10-27

From ABC News:
Nicole Richie Seeks Help for Thinness
Researching something called "a meal"

From ABC News:
Wild Pigs Eyed in Tainted Spinach Probe
Michael Moore, Cindy Sheehan sought

From ABC News:
Firefighter Ordered to Anger Management
Reclassified as 'Fire Negotiator'

From ABC News:
Cowboys Coach Claims Rat in Salad
Was actually picture of Terrell Owens, Haley apologizes

From ABC News:
Pa. Men Burnt by Wires Get $24 Million
Thankful they weren't molested by priest

From ABC News:
L.A. Clergy Sex Case Settled for $10M
Priest thankful didn't burn altar boys with wires

From ABC News:
Trial Draws Attention to Genital Cutting
News headlines featuring 'genital cutting' also draw attention

From ABC News:
Tax Loopholes Follow Letter, Not Intent, Of Laws
Center for the Obvious releases latest report

From ABC News:
Sudanese Billionaire Offers Cash Prize to Save Africa From Corruption
Throws money at money problem

From ABC News:
Cheney did not back simulated drowning: White House
Still favors holding Howard Dean's head under water

Blogrolling 2006-10-27

Items of interest from the blogroll.


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Thursday, October 26, 2006

Ask Questions. Now!

We're concluding questions for the crew at The Nose On Your Face this weekend. Potfry and Buckley F Williams are scheduled next on the interviews, and we'd like some more questions sent in.

Don't forget that we're also giving away a DVD to someone at the end of the month. Every submission of questions gets in the drawing. We did this in August ... and a questioner from NZ won! She's received her DVD ... though shipping took a few extra days for the DVD to be shipped to New Zealand.

Anyway, if you submit a question for the Blog Interviews, you'll get in the drawing for your choice (within reason) for a DVD.

And this week would be a great time to ask questions of Potfry and Buckley F Williams. Yes, both Potfry and Buckley F Williams were scheduled earlier. Buckley did his interview ... but Potfry had some issues interfere with his scheduled interview.

So, we're taking questions for them now that they have joined forces over at The Nose. So bombard them with questions. It'll be fun.

Headline News 2006-10-26

From ABC News:
Throwing Eggs Far From Harmless Prank, Doctors Warn
Suggest waiting until egg is out of the chicken

From ABC News:
Deadliest Month for U.S. Troops in Nearly 2 Years
Last time Democrats were running for Congress

From ABC News:
Man on Trial for Circumcising 2-Year-Old Daughter
Botched job turned little Billy into little Billie

From ABC News:
Jesus Is Black in New Controversial Film
Shocking film suggests 1st century Jewish carpenter was not from Western Europe

From ABC News:
Ground Zero Bones Said to Contain Usable DNA
Offered to Michael J Fox

From ABC News:
Vandals set buses on fire in French suburbs
Stench from riot almost noticable over typical Frenchman

From ABC News:
Russian Space Ship Doesn't Dock Properly
First homosexual spacecraft hailed as 'milestone'

From ABC News:
U.S. Alters Its Spelling of Ukraine City
Still contains 17 consonants, 1 vowel

From ABC News:
Danish Paper Acquitted in Cartoon Libel Trial
Satan refuses to allow Mohammed off work to testify
From ABC News:
Md. Fishermen Rescue a Swimming Deer
Still searching for flying pig

Blogrolling 2006-10-26

Items of interest from the blogroll.
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Wednesday, October 25, 2006

New York City Tax Dollars At Work

Every so often, I'll check SiteMeter to see who comes to visit this little blog. Or why they came here. And I'll find that sometimes they came here after searching for something.

Well, yesterday, we had a visitor from New York City. And not just from New York City, but from the New York City government. That's nyc.gov

And what was someone in the New York City government searching for?

Naked pre-teens.

I mean, what else would a city worker be Googling for?

The Big Apple is paying someone to search for naked pre-teens. At work.

New York City tax dollars at work.

UPDATE: The Man from GOP and the City suggests the title should have been "NYC Worker - Hard at Work"! Heh. That's a lot better than what I had.

Any other suggestions?

Headline News 2006-10-25

From CNN:
Skid Row patient dumping probed
Authorities want to know why someone threw away a perfectly good homeless person

From CNN:
UK face transplant gets go-ahead
Teeth still a concern

From CNN:
Madonna blames adoption flap on media
Also wants 13th Amendment repealed

From WFTV:
Body found wrapped in carpet, duct tape
Had wanted hardwood floor

From CNNmoney:
Lessons from Enron: just say 'sorry'
Bill Clinton offers alternative lesson

From CNN:
It's Cobain over Elvis as top-earning dead celeb
Still refusing interviews

From CBS News:
A Long, Winding Road To '08
McCartney runs for President

From CBS News:
Dad Wants Cussing Toy Off Store Shelves
Wants profanity back on prime-time TV where it belongs

From Aljazeera:
Oil and gas discovered in Zambia
Shell station located

From BBC:
Putin attacks Georgia 'war plans'
Waycross mobilizes

Blogrolling 2006-10-25

Items of interest from the blogroll.

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Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Lizard Birthing

White Trash WednesdayI went to visit Basil and his wife the other day, and while i was there, I visited with Snuffie and the twins. Oh, and her children.

Snuffie's the mom to two of Basil's grandchildren. And they got pets.

While I was over at their place, the boy came in and told his mom "something is wrong with one of the lizards."

He and his sister have two lizards being held prisoner in thier room. "He's just lying there looking sick," he said. "I'm serious mom, can you help?"

Now, you need to understand that I'm a lot more older and wiser than my step-niece or whatever Snuffie is. So I put my best lizard-healer statement on my face and followed the boy back into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. Since I was the man, I immediately knew what to do.

"Snuffie," I called, "come look at the lizard! She's having babies."

"What?" the little boy demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie! Mom come help!"

Snuffie came into the room. "They ain't no lizards having no babies, Red."

"Well, something's going on," I told her.

"You're so smart, Red. What do you think?" Snuffie said. Although thinking back now, she might have been a little bit sarcastic.

"When you got them lizards, you said you got two boys!" I reminded her, (in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth together).

"Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" her little tyke agreed.

"Well, Red, what do you think we ought to do," she asked me. (again with the sarcasm, you think?)

By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it.

"Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience, I announced. "We're about to witness the miracle of birth."

"Oh, gross!" they shrieked.

Snuffie was silent for a moment. She seemed to be thinking something over.

Finally, she said, "Well, I think it's wonderful! You're going to deliver a litter of tiny little lizard babies." (I really do think she was being snotty here, too. Don't you?)

We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later.

"See, thay's having babies," I told Snuffie.

"If you say so," she said, shaking her head. Women can be so stubborn, don't you think?

"We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted.

Then a thoght hit me. "And it's breech," I whispered, horrified.

"Do something, Red!" Snuffie's littel boy urged.

"Okay, okay." Squeamishly , I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gentle tug. It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results.

"Should we call 911," the little girl wanted to know. "Maybe they could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the females in this house?)

"Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly.

I throwed everbody into the Dodge and we drove to the vet with the boy holding the cage in his lap. "Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged.

"I don't think lizards do Lamaze," his mother noted to him (Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but this boy is of her womb, for God's sake.)

The Vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass.

"What do you think, Doc, a C-section?" I suggested scientifically.

"Oh, very interesting," he murmured. "May I speak to you privately for a moment?"

I gulped, nodding for the kids to step outside.

"Is Ernie going to be okay?" I asked.

"Oh, perfectly," the Vet assured us. "This lizard is not in labor. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen... Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um.... um.... masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back." He blushed, glancing at Snuffie who was chuckling, then back at me. "Well, you know what I'm saying, sir."

We were silent, absorbing this.

"So Ernie's just... just... excited," I asked.

"Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood.

More silence. Then that viscous, cruel Snuffie started to giggle. And giggle. And then even laugh loudly.

"What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but not believing that this young woman would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness.

Tears were now running down her face. Laughing "It's just... that... well, you pulling on its... its... teeny little..." she gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.

"That's enough," I warned. We thanked the Vet and hurriedly bundled the lizards and the kids back into the Dodge. THey was glad everything was going to be okay.

"I know Ernie's really thankful for what you've done, Mr. Red," he told me.

"Oh, you have NO idea," Snuffie said, collapsing with laughter.

When we got back to her house, the kids wanted to run tell Basil's wife what all happened. That's when I hear Snuffie telling her mom about it.

And she summed it up to her mother with this:

"2 - Lizards - $140... 1 - Cage - $50... Trip to the Vet - $30... Memory of Red pulling on a lizard's winkie..... Priceless!!"

Then she turned to me and said, "Hey Red, you know the moral of the story? Finish biology class. Lizards lay eggs!"

More Whtie Trash Wednesdays:

Agent Bedhead
Alabama Improper
And Rightly So!
BOBO BLOGGER
Dangerous Logic
Feisty Republican Whore
HECTOR VEX
It Is What It Is
Lost In Lima Ohio
Mean Ol' Meany
Merri Musings
MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy
Pennsylvanian in exile
Pirate's Cove
Public Figures
Riehl World View
Right Truth
Rightwingsparkle
Six Meat Buffet
Sortapundit
Stupid Random Thoughts
The Jawa Report
The Nose On Your Face
The Therapist
Vince Aut Morire

Headline News 2006-10-24

From ABC News:
Chicago Voter Database Hacked
Hackers allow live voters to vote

From ABC News:
CNN, NPR will not promote Bush assassination movie
Just want to see soldiers killed, not Commander In Chief

From ABC News:
Ethiopia's "Lucy" to be exhibited in United States
Will pull football from Ethiopia's "Charlie Brown"

From ABC News:
Iran's President Calls For Baby Boom
Wants dynamite on toddlers

From ABC News:
Toddler Gets Stuck in Vending Machine
Parent spends $30 in quarters to retrieve child

From ABC News:
Jailer Fired for Using Toy Gun on Inmate
Remaining jailers promise to use real guns on inmates

From ABC News:
Ape Scolded for Pulling Fire Alarm
Also toilet-papered zoo owner's car

From ABC News:
Couple End Up Catching Dog in Fla. Bay
Was fishing for cats

From ABC News:
Swedish Authorities Question Bear Attack
Boo Boo offers alibi for Yogi

From ABC News:
Hurricane Paul Weakens to Tropical Storm
Hurricane Ringo gathers strength

Blogrolling 2006-10-24

Items of interest from the blogroll.


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Monday, October 23, 2006

Magnificent

Yesterday, I mentioned that a blogger called President Bush a cowboy ... like that was a bad thing. And I said that my impression of a cowboy is of a good guy. I mentioned The Lone Ranger,John Wayne, andThe Magnificent Seven.

Despite my feeling that cowboys are heroes, I've never considered myself a fan of Westerns. Sure, I used to watch the Lone Ranger, Roy Rogers, and such when I was a child. And I consider The Magnificent Seven one of the best films ever made. But I'm not really a fan of the Western.

But if you haven't seen The Magnificent Seven, you really should. If you can't recall how long it's been since you've seen The Magnificent Seven, it's time to watch it again.

If you're not familiar with it ... or theThe Seven Samurai on which it is based ... here's a little about the movie.

*** SPOILER ALERT *** (If you consider the plot summary of a 46-year-old movie to be a spoiler)

Headline News 2006-10-23

From ABC News:
Obama Says He's Weighing White House Run
Osama hoping for Democrats win in 2006

From ABC News:
Big Macs to Come With Plasma Screens
Whoppers come with laser printers

From ABC News:
Fish Among Critters Enlisted in War on Terror
Mr. Limpet drafted

From ABC News:
Putin Jokes About Israeli Leader's Sex Prowess
Said Katsav was 'a huge prick'

From ABC News:
George Michael: Pot Keeps Me Sane
Poll: George Michael needs more pot

From ABC News:
Sara Evans' Ex-Nanny Takes Polygraph Test
Told to return it

From ABC News:
Chuck Norris Kicks Time in the Face
Time kicks back. Hard.

From ABC News:
Officials Probe Finger-In-Sandwich Claim
New Wendy's 99¢ menu announced

From ABC News:
Man With Mannequin Fetish Arrested Again
Andrew McCarthy makes bail

From ABC News:
Inmate Uses Laxatives, Knife to Escape
Idea not so crappy now

Blogrolling 2006-10-23

Items of interest from the blogroll.


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Sunday, October 22, 2006

My Heros Have Always Been Cowboys

Saturday, we had Rafi G (Life in Israel) participating in the blog interviews. And one of his answers got me thinking.

The question was:
What do most Israelis think of George Bush?
And the answer was:
They used to love Dubya, when he was first elected. I think most Israelis have, since then, come to realize that he does not really know what he is doing and is more of a cowboy.
Hmmm. I think that was supposed to be an insult.

But here's the thing. I like cowboys. Or the idealized cowboy. So, to me, calling the President "a cowboy" is a compliment.

When I think of cowboys, I think of the Lone Ranger. A survivor of a brutal ambush, who, with his best friend, fights for truth and justice. He helps the helpless, is a friend to the friendless, and a beacon of hope in a world run by outlaws.

I also think of John Wayne. The "take no sh*t off nobody" kind of guy who stands up for what he believes. From playing the Ringo Kid in Stagecoach to Rooster Cogburn in True Grit, John Wayne is an all-American hero. And the idealized all-American cowboy.

I also think of Chris, the character played by Yul Brynner in The Magnificent Seven, who, along with six other cowboys, defended a small town from bandits.

Those are cowboys. They are heroes.

George Bush should feel honored to be called one of those. I know I'd like to be thought of as someone like that.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Friday, October 20, 2006

Rafi G (Life in Israel)

Today, we're happy to have Rafi G (Life in Israel) with us for the interview...


The interview panel is ready with their questions...


Now, the first question...

Weekend Open Trackbacks 2006-10-21

If you'd like to share an item via TrackBack, please feel free to do so, as long as your submission follows the TrackBack policy. This will be the only Open TrackBack post this weekend, so check back here all weekend long for items others want to share.

Headline News 2006-10-20

From CNN:
Mac attacks rare but rising
McDonald's ad campaign pays off

From CNN:
Harrison Ford: I'm still 'fit' to play Indiana Jones
Having fits more often

From CNN:
Microsoft releases new Internet Explorer
Redmond calendars now read "2001"

From CNN:
Maltese Church to probe nude Foley claims
Hope to close Nude Gay Congressman gap

From CNN:
Remains found near twin towers site
Bush blamed

From WCVB:
Toxic mold drives family from home
Drops family at hotel, returns home and parties

From WPXI:
Injured dog found in trash bin
Should have been placed in Disposable Mammals bin

From WPXI:
Man faces sentencing in wife's killing
Sentence expected to be shorted than most of wife's naggings

From KIRO:
Seattle unveils new slogan to lure visitors
Old slogan, 'Daily rain, expensive coffee, no-talent bands' didn't lure enough tourists

From KSAT:
Cat-trapping policy angers activists
Dogs defend

Blogrolling 2006-10-20

Items of interest from the blogroll.


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Thursday, October 19, 2006

I Promise I Didn't Pee My Pants





Not pee

Despite how things appears, I didn't pee in my pants.

You see, at work, we have marble counters in the mens room sink. So, when I'm done taking care of business, I go over to the sink and wash my hands.

And, since I'm only 6'2'', I have to get close to the sink to reach the soap and the faucet.

Unless I want to bend over at the waist. Which I don't. So I get as close to the sink as I can.

And, since whoever used the sink prior left a lot of water on the countertop, when I moved so close as to actually lean against the countertop, water gets on me.

On my pants, actually.

And, since I'm 6'2'' that puts the water at a really unfortunate location.

And, since this all happens at work and not at home, I have to leave the mens room and walk by people.

With a water spot at a most unfortunate location.

I looked like I peed my pants.

But I didn't.

But I am pissed at whoever used the sink before me.

Headline News 2006-10-19

From ABC News:
Inmate Slits Throat on Day of Own Execution
Executioner's kids go hungry another day

From ABC News:
Priest Admits to Nude Massage With a Young Foley
Bush blamed

From ABC News:
Finding a Conservative Mutual Fund
Democrats decry

From ABC News:
Brown U. Report Seeks Slavery Memorial
Changes name to Black U.

From ABC News:
Fla. Boater Stabbed in Chest by Stingray
Video released by stingrays promise more attacks

From ABC News:
School Scarecrow Display Catches Fire
Wicked Witch blamed

From ABC News:
Dog Wakes Up Man in Burning Alabama Home
Home total loss, man out $150

From ABC News:
Thieves Swipe Statue of Nude Woman
Beavis, Butthead arrested

From ABC News:
Bush tries to boost two endangered Republicans
Gives pep talk to Cheney, self

From ABC News:
Spanish King Denies Shooting Drunk Bear
Actually, I don't have a joke. I just really like this headline.

Blogrolling 2006-10-19

Items of interest from the blogroll.


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Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Headline News 2006-10-18

From ABC News:
Turkey Testicle Festival Can Keep Name
Still think they're nuts

From ABC News:
Simpson Fights to Keep Publicity Rights
Bart files suit

From ABC News:
Marijuana-like compound may fight Alzheimer's
Still forgetful, but for different reason

From CNN:
Rome subway reopens after crash
Offers toasted subs half-price

From CNN:
Unusual meteorite found in Kansas
Oz demands it back

From CNN:
Scientists create new element
Wemadeitupandyoucantproveotherwiseium announced

From CNN:
Jupiter's smaller spot getting redder
Enters puberty

From CNN:
Mars images show rover perched on crater
Scientists plead not to jump

From CNN:
Teen's tongue piercing linked to extreme facial pain
Experts shocked to learn poking holes in body causes pain

From CNN:
Chris Rock's mom: Cracker Barrel discriminated
Refused to seat obnoxious comic's obnoxious family

Blogrolling 2006-10-18

Items of interest from the blogroll.


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Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Curse of the Pharaoh

Yesterday, I repeated a story about eating Pizza Hut pizza at the Pyramids. Well, there's a follow up:

We were in Egypt, and like I said, I had no clue where anything was in relationship to anything else. We had toured the Cairo Museum (it was great!) ... and we were going over to the Pyramids.

Let me tell you first that the Pyramids are huge. I'd seen pictures on TV and in movies and such. They looked like, well, pyramids. But, when you are actually seeing them for the first time, it's amazing. I had mentioned that we saw them on the bus ride into Cairo. Actually, the bus ride was to Giza, and then to Cairo. But I couldn't tell when Giza ended and Cairo started. We were in a city with three huge Pyramids, took a left turn, crossed a bridge, and were in Cairo. That little thing called the Nile River is all I could see separating the two. It's like one town with a river running through it.

Anyway, after we finished the Museum, we crossed the bridge back to the Pyramids. We knew we were going that way because the name of the road was "Avenue of the Pyramids." That was the first clue. Plus, those big-ass pyramids taking up all the sky.

We stopped and ate at a local restaurant. If you read yesterday's post, you know what I ate. But others ate something at that restaurant. Anyway, after lunch, we took the buses over to the Pyramids. We got off and stood outside, looking at those big piles of rock. And that's all they are: big rocks. Actually, they are big stones. Cut stones. And each stone is huge. And they are stacked up, until they reach a point. And that's your basic huge-ass pyramid.

There were fellows riding camels around the Pyramids. I had a camera with me and stood back as far as I could in order to take a picture of the Pyramids. Well, the camel-riders just kept riding around. So I moved over to one side to get them out of the picture. I just wanted a picture of the Great Pyramid.

Well, no such luck. The camel-riders turned Clyde and rode right into the picture. So I watched for a while and noticed something. You know how every image you have ever seen of the Pyramids includes folks riding camels by the Pyramids? Think about it. Every picture or TV clip has them. That's why I thought the Pyramids were in the middle of the desert, because you needed to get there by camel. Nope. The guys were selling camel rides. Really.

What they were doing was riding back and forth waiting for some sap with money in his pocket to come by, then offer them a camel ride. And I made a mis-statement a bit ago. They don't sell camel rides. They give them away. A free gift to their "new friends from the USA, Hi-ho, Silver." Yes, that's an actual quote. So, I took them up on their offer of a free ride.

So I rode a camel around the Pyramid. When it was over, since I had accepted a free gift from him, he wanted a free gift from me. A green picture of a dead president would fit the bill, I discovered.

Anyhow, after the camel ride, I got into a group to go up inside the Great Pyramid. So, we climbed about a third of the way up the outside of the Pyramid, to an opening. Then we stooped down and went inside to an area where we could stand up and walk around. Some Egyptian was playing tour guide and said a group of us could go up further inside. We had to stoop down and duckwalk up an elevated passageway. About half-way up, we could stand up, then we had the option to go on further. So, we duckwalked even further up another passageway.

Now, I don't know if you have ever thought about Ancient Egyptian Electricians, but I don't think they existed. Some 20th century folks had run some electric wires inside the Pyramid, but, like everything else, it needs repair from time to time. It was repair day. So, it was dark. Some of us had chem-lights. I think you can buy similar things and they are called light-sticks or something. Anyway, we had a few -- very few -- of those for light. I was younger and actually pretty healthy and fit then, so I lead the way, duckwalking up a long passageway into heart of the Great Pyramid.

When we got to the top, it was pitch black. I didn't have a light, but some were coming behind me. I stood up and felt along the wall on my left. I slowly inched along, feeling the wall and shuffling along the floor. Still dark. After several tentative steps, I grew a little bolder, taking larger steps and moving further. Others came in, some with chem-lights. They stood back waiting for their eyes to get adjusted to the dark. I continued moving along, then felt the edge of the wall. Instead of reaching an inside corner, I had reached an outside corner. The wall on my left angled 90 degrees to the left. So I felt around the corner and stepped onto ... nothing.

The ground wasn't there! I had already committed to the step and couldn't stop. I was in an Ancient Egyptian Pyramid, it was dark, and the floor had disappeared. Every trap that Indiana Jones had ever encountered came to my mind. I was going to fall into a grave-robbers trap and never see anyone again.

All those thoughts came into my mind in the fraction of a second it took for me to realize the floor wasn't where I expected it to be ... until my foot actually hit where the floor was ... a drop of about 6-8 inches. I decided to stop until my eyes grew more accustomed to the dark. After a little bit, we could see better, and someone actually had a flashlight. Plus, my camera had a flash. But, no pictures are allowed. Unless you give them a green picture of a president. Then, they look the other way.

Anyway, we could make out the sarcophagus of Khufu. You've seen the thing. It's a large stone rectangular box with no top. And one top edge is broken off a little. And the ceiling is very, very high. I got lots of pictures.

We spent a few minutes in that very dark, very warm room. One of the soldiers with me was beginning to have issues with his lunch. He had chosen to eat at the local restaurant. Lunch came back up. Since he was by the sarcophagus, he just leaned over and blew his chunks into it. No, I'm not making any of this up. The guy puked into the Pharaoh's sarcophagus. I thought it was a good time to leave, since another tour group was going to be coming up this way as soon as they got the lights fixed anyway. We duckwalked our way back down and went over to the Sphinx.

Pharaoh got us back: none of my pictures inside the Pyramid came out.

However, not everyone has such bad luck. Khufu's curse had no effect on the pictures of this place. Those bottom six pictures give an idea of what it looked like.

Headline News 2006-10-17

From CNN:
Wesley Snipes faces $12M fraud charge
Told people he could act

From CNN:
Seafood benefits outweigh risks, government says
Fish disagree

From CNN:
Official: No election fraud in presidential vote
Adds: "My brother won the election fair and square"

From CNN:
Coalition death toll in Iraq reaches 3,000
DNC plans party

From CNN:
U.S. joins 300 million club
Legal residents still at 100 million

From CNN:
AP: Reid used campaign funds for Christmas bonuses
Bush blamed

From WTAE:
Shooting, freak accident send 3 to hospital
Freaks no longer allowed to carry guns, drive

From KCRA:
Firefighter accused of setting 143 blazes
Attorney: Client sought job security

From WRAL:
Earthquake reported in North Carolina
John Tenta's body recovered

From WEWS:
Vandals smash pumpkins boys sell for charity
Billy Corgan arrested

Coup in North Korea?

This item from the mailbag from Michael Stickings. It seems that Heraclitus at The Reaction is following a story from Australia that China may be prepared to back a coup in North Korea.

Ah, diplomacy Chinese style. If it works, great. But didn't George W. Bush catch hell for doing the same thing? Or at least, something similar?

Blogrolling 2006-10-17

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Monday, October 16, 2006

The Pizza At The Pyramids Club

Excuse me while I retell a story I told a while back. In case you missed my earlier telling, this led to my membership in an exclusive club.

When I was in the Army, I got sent to places I otherwise never would have gone. One of those places was Egypt. You've heard of Egypt, right? King Tut. The Mummy. The Exodus. Camels. The Sphinx. The Pyramids. Yes, that Egypt. Yeah, I went there. And got paid for it. The whole experience was miserable. Except for one day. That day was cool.

I was stationed at Fort Stewart, Georgia, in an artillery unit. Now, my MOS was not an artillery MOS. Okay, I might need to explain what an MOS is. That's Army talk for your job. It means Military Occupational Specialty. It's what your primary job is. Just like in the real world, different people do different things. The unit I was in was an artillery unit. They fired those big guns that people say look like tanks. Only they're not tanks. They're guns. They fire big shells and cause massive destruction. And, like any job in any place, some on the people you work with are some of the smartest people you'll ever meet. Some are as dumb as toast. Artillery units are no exception. Some really sharp people. Some dim bulbs, too. America's melting pot.

Anyway, I was in an artillery unit. But my job was not artillery. I had a support MOS. I worked on generators and kept up with small equipment parts. The idea is that I was not one of the regular guys. Most of the artillery guys (and, yes, they were all guys, no girls) had at least their job in common. They understood each others jobs. They weren't too sure about me. Of course, lots of folks feel that way about me. Oh, well. Anyhow, our unit was sent over to Egypt for 57 days. And 56 of them were miserable. We lived in the desert and did training exercises near the border with Libya. Except for one day.

One day, we loaded up into buses and went east, all the way to Cairo. As we approached Cairo, we saw these large pointy things sticking up in the air. I wasn't that big on Egyptian geography and had no idea that the Pyramids were near Cairo. But I found out they were. And they were huge! I had seen on TV and in movies the Pyramids and they looked like they were out in the middle of the desert. Well, they're not in the middle of the desert. They are at the edge of the desert. Oh, and to show how ignorant I was, I didn't realize the Sphinx was right next to the Pyramids. But, it was. And, right next to the Pyramids and the Sphinx was a sidewalk. And on the other side of the sidewalk was a city with cars and people and businesses and houses and everything. It was totally mind-blowing, if you didn't see it coming.

Anyway, we visited the Cairo Museum and stopped by a restaurant before we headed back to the Pyramids. I could talk for days about the Museum. And will, one day; stay tuned. But, at the restaurant, almost everybody ordered something to eat. A couple of us picky eaters didn't. But I was hungry. So I found a phone book, a phone, some Egyptian coins, and an operator that spoke English. So I called the Cairo Pizza Hut. Really. And, guess what? They deliver. Really. So I had Pizza Hut deliver me a pizza and a Pepsi. To the Sphinx. Really. By the time the bus got over there, I could see the Pizza Hut delivery boy standing there with a pizza in one hand and a Pepsi in the other, looking at every vehicle that went by. I stuck my head out of the window and yelled. He saw me, held up the pizza, and I got off the bus as quickly as I could. I paid him for the pizza and Pepsi, and gave him a nice tip. He went away happy, and I sat down and ate me a Pizza Hut pizza and drank me a Pepsi-Cola right in front of the Sphinx. It was awesome.

Headline News: 2006-10-16

From ABC News:
Tara Reid Gets 'Ugliest' Boob Job Repaired
Still a boob

From ABC News:
Tex-Mex Singer Freddy Fender Dies at 69
No one knew he was still alive

From ABC News:
Man Claims New World Record for Fasting
Died in 1973

From ABC News:
New Jail Visitor Dress Code: Bras a Must
50% of visitors agree to wear them

From ABC News:
U.S. lawyer gets 28 months jail for aiding terrorism
Gets out in time to join Hillarys Cabinet

From ABC News:
Country Singer Sara Evans Cites Porn, Adultery and Abuse in Divorce Papers
The good news: had idea for new song

From ABC News:
Scorsese says he wants a break from Hollywood
Joins rest of world

From CNN:
Ships collide near New Orleans
Bush blamed

From CNN:
Stooges recording first album in 33 years
Moe, Larry's death hurt career

From CNN:
Overhaulin' the CNN Hummer
Paula Zahn seeks to please

Blogrolling 2006-10-16

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Sunday, October 15, 2006

Good Vibrations

Friday night, the Wife and I went to see the Beach Boys.

I've enjoyed listening to the Beach Boys for years. Ever since they were the Beach Boys, in fact.

You see, only one of the original Beach Boys is still with the band. Al Jardine and Brian Wilson have retired from touring. Carl and Dennis Wilson are dead, which has hindered their touring quite a bit. But Mike Love is still touring. And, so is Bruce Johnston. While Johnston isn't an original Beach Boy, he's been with the band since 1964. So we can count him.

Anyway, we got to see the Beach Boys ... which consisted of traditional Beach Boys Mike Love and Bruce Johnston ... and the other musicians ... put on one heckuva show. Oh, the other musicians in the band all got to sing along ... and they have the Beach Boys sound. Most of them had been with the band for a bit, though. I think Mike Kowalski was still on drums. And John Cowsill (yes, from the Cowsills) did an excellent job on vocals. He joined the band after taking Carl died and Al retired.

The Wife and I thoroughly enjoyed the concert Friday night. But it was a shame that so many others didn't. You see, the Beach Boys were the featured show Friday night at the Georgia National Fair in Perry. And the arena was only half full.

The low turnout surprised me. Then it disappointed me. But in the end, I was happy.

The Beach Boys didn't cancel their appearance. The Fair didn't call it off, either. I have no idea if the Fair or the Beach Boys made any money on the show. But I had a good time. And so did the Wife.

We got to hear many of the great songs by the Beach Boys: 409, Surfin' USA, Help Me Rhonda, California Girls, Barbara Ann, Sloop John B, Good Vibrations, Kokomo, Fun Fun Fun ... and much, much more.

They acknowledged how old they were. And razzed on the Village People, N*Sync, and finally, Barry Manilow. The whole thing was a set-up for Bruce Johnston to sing I Write the Songs. In case you weren't aware, he wrote I Write the Songs. I knew that, because I once had the Bruce Johnston Going Public album, where it appears.

Of course, most of the songs were sung by Mike Love, who actually sang lead on most of the Beach Boys hits.

Now, I had seen the Beach Boys before. Twice. In Savannah. About 25-30 years ago. But it was the first time the Wife had seen them.

When I saw them back in the '70s & '80s, it was easy to stand up and sit down. Friday night, no so easy.

There were times when the crowd, who had jumped to their feet during a particular song, sort of all just sat down. Actually, not all. But most of the ones around my age. The younger crowd stayed on their feet longer. But the older folks ... like me ... grabbed the chairs and sat down. Slowly. So not to pull or aggrevate anything.

Still, every time they started a new song, I was a teenager again.

I'm still amazed at the small turnout. The ones that didn't show don't know what they missed. And if I get the chance to see the Beach Boys again, I would. And wouldn't it be nice!

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Judith (Kesher Talk) — Delayed

Yes, we were scheduled to have the interview with Judith of Kesher Talk. However, events have delayed the answers getting back to us. As soon as we get things worked out, we'll have the interview posted. Thanks for your patience.

Friday, October 13, 2006

Chris Carlisle (The Platypus Society) (Dimmer Switch)

We're thrilled today to have Chris Carlisle of The Platypus Society and Dimmer Switch...
PlatypusSociety

The panel is ready with their questions...


First question...

Headline News 2006-10-13

From CNN:
Report: Nigeria police shoot dead protester
Shooting live protesters could cause uproar

From CNN:
Diana photographer charges dropped
Photos now free

From WCVB:
Boston's emergency plan no good, experts say
Just like rest of Boston

From KERO:
Teens sentenced in video beating
Video expected to recover

From WSB:
Police hunt for female bigamist called McBride
McDonald's new menu offering a hit

From WYFF:
School beefs up security after Friday 13th threats
Studio pulls sequel, classes resume

From WRTV:
Santa Claus accused of public indecency
Caught joining in reindeer games

From KPRC:
Transformers catch fire at power plant
Optimus Prime injured

From KETV:
Councilman demands apology after spoof
Issues statement: "I was born here, an I was raished here, and dad gum it, I am gonna die here, an no sidewindin bushwackin, hornswaglin, cracker croaker is gonna rouin me bishen cutter."

From CNN:
O.J. Simpson asks judge to dump suit
Suggests Dockers, golf shirt

Blogrolling 2006-10-13

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Thursday, October 12, 2006

Headline News 2006-10-12

From ABC News:
French Move to Make Denying Genocide a Crime
Being French still legal in most places

From ABC News:
French Olympic Chief Is Convicted
Being French illegal in some places

From ABC News:
Mummified Remains Are Advertised on EBay
Democrats seek new House leader

From ABC News:
Companies to Make Ice Cream for Dogs
Ass-flavored ice cream a hit

From ABC News:
U.S. Troops Prepared to Stay in Iraq Until 2010
The year we make contact

From ABC News:
Fla. Man Charged With Locking Up Son
Opie ruins Andy's retirement

From ABC News:
Woman Who Lied About Rape Gets Prison
Finally gets chance to be raped

From ABC News:
Foley Could Skirt Charges in Page Probe
Not first skirt he's had

From ABC News:
Muslim Worker Sues Over Skullcap
Use a cap made from a real skull

From ABC News:
Lost Parrot Reunited With Tenn. Owner
Unfortunately, it's passed on, the parrot is no more, he has ceased to be, he's expired and gone to meet his maker, he's a stiff, bereft of life, he rests in peace, if it wasn't nailed to the perch he'd be pushing up the daisies, his metabolic processes are now history, he's off the twig, kicked the bucket, shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleeding choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

Blogrolling 2006-10-12

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Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Who Are We To Say Who Can Have Nuclear Weapons?

I was asked a question the other day that -- momentarily -- stunned me. This fellow I know ... who before he asked this was someone I actually thought was smart ... posed the question to me after reports of North Korea's nuclear weapons testing.

He asked me, "Who are we to say who gets to have nuclear weapons? We have them."

I was stunned.

In my mind, I was running several things through my head. One of them was how to reconcile this stupid question with other things he said that I thought were smart. Was he simply having a brain-fart? Or was he really that messed up in the head?

After a second or two, the best answer I could come up with was this:

Every country cannot be treated the same because every country is not the same.

I got a funny look for that. So I expounded.

Say you have pets. And pets inside the house. Say a dog. And a cat. And a rattlesnake.

You let the dog run free. You let the cat run free. You keep the rattlesnake in a terrarium.

Why not let the rattlesnake roam free? On your couch? On your chairs?

Because a rattlesnake can't be treated the same as a dog or a cat. It's a rattlesnake. It'll kill you.

Best I could come up with. What's the best answer you've got for that ... unbelivable ... question?

Headline News 2006-10-10

From CNN:
John Lennon's killer denied parole
Imagine

From CNN:
Candidate touts sex with Packers in campaign
Control of house not enough for Dems

From CNN:
Robin Williams on politics: It 'sucks'
Monica Lewinsky: 'You're telling me'

From CNN:
Tigers claim new army offensive
Lead over A's explained

From CNN:
Teen 'wants to buy dungeon house'
Wants place to keep his robot. His girl robot.

From WPBF:
Youth pastor charged with sexual battery
vibrator batteries have dual purpose

From WISN:
Teen makes plea deal after best friend's death
Wants his iPod

From KPRC:
Marine arrested In online sex sting
Was looking for a few good men

From CNN:
Polls: GOP losing grip on married moms
Clinton, Kennedy maintain grip

From CNN:
NASA considers Frenchman for space station stint
Going deer hunting, need accordion

Blogrolling 2006-10-11

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Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Jumping The Shark

JumpTheSharkI'm looking to start some trouble here. And you can help. Read on.

I guess you've heard the phrase, "Jumping The Shark" huh?

If not ... or if you have but don't know what it's from ... you have to go back to Happy Days.

On September 20, 1977, in the final installment of the Hollywood storyline, Fonzie jumped a shark on water skis, wearing his leather jacket.

The storyline was so bad that it convinced many that Happy Days was done. Fini. Over and out. Past it's prime. Passed on! The show is no more! It has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet its maker! This is a late TV show. It's a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace, if you hadn't sold it in syndication it would be pushing up the daisies! It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible! It is an ex-TV show!

You get my drift.

And the phrase "jumped the shark" eventually entered the language, referring to the point when a TV show is past it's prime, passed on, is no more, has ceased to be ... you get the idea.

Now, just because a show jumps the shark doesn't mean it's gone. Like the famous dead parrot, it may be around for a while yet, albeit dead.

Happy Days literally jumped the shark in episode 91. It ran for 164 more episodes after jumping the shark.

Over at the Jump The Shark Website, there are many, many TV shows listed as having jumped the shark. Some, I agree with. Some, I don't.

But this isn't about TVs. Like I mentioned earlier, I'm wondering if I can start some trouble here. And you can help.

Consider this: What blogs have jumped the shark? And when?

Discuss.