Dealing With Cats

Cats hate vacuum cleaners.

If you're like me, and your wife wishes you would use the vacuum cleaner, you can make her wishes come true -- and get the cat out of the house -- all at the same time.

This cat that's took up residence here ... the one that's learned to scratch on the front door when she hears a sound emanating from inside the house ... used to be skittish about coming inside.

And I was fine with that.

You see, I'm not an "indoor cat" person.

Cats have claws. And teeth fit for eating creatures that live outside. Cats should be outside.

Cats don't have opposable thumbs. They shouldn't be on the inside of a door.

At least, that's how I think.

But the Wife thinks differently. She's just fine with a cat crawling around inside the house, sitting on the furniture, climbing up on the bed ... until it does that at 4:00 AM and sticks its cat ass in her face.

I'm thinking the cat should be outside. But I've done a bad thing. I've let the cat come inside to eat. Because others animals in the neighborhood will come up on the porch and take her food.

So, I've taken to bringing the cat inside to eat.

She was a little skittish at first. But she got over it soon enough. Now she likes to come inside all the time.

And getting her outside isn't always the easiest thing to do.

Until I remembered she doesn't like the vacuum cleaner. I mean, she's a cat.

But the Wife thinks turning the vacuum cleaner on and watching the cat head for the door is mean.

It might be. But I'm not going to chase her around the house. I'm getting too old for that.

So, the Wife makes sure the cat goes outside. Or I break out the vacuum cleaner.

But when the cat's inside, she's picked up a bad habit.

She knows the cat food is kept in the kitchen. So, she'll go into the kitchen.

As much as I don't like cats in the house, I really don't like cats in the kitchen. And I've been looking for a way to keep her out.

A friend who had an inside cat mentioned that her cat hates aluminum foil. So, I put a piece of aluminum foil on the floor a the door (actually, entrance, since there's not a door there).

Sure enough, the cat won't walk on the aluminum foil.

She jumps over it.

So, while keeping the cat out of the house is not really feasible (since I do let her in to eat), keeping the cat out of the kitchen is still a goal.

Monday, while I was home sick, I got up to eat about noon. And went into the kitchen to make some soup. And I heard scratching at the door.

I looked over and saw that the cat still had food from the morning, when the Wife had fed her before work. So, I let the cat in to eat the morning's leftovers. Then I went into the kitchen to fix some soup.

From a can.

The cat apparently thinks all cans are for her. They aren't.

The cat came into the kitchen. I told her to get out. She ignored me. So, I was washing my hands again, and it occurred to me that cats don't like water.

So, I took my wet hands out from the sink, and flicked them at her.

The drops flew in a scatter from my fingertips, some hitting the cat, and she decided to leave the kitchen.

There's a catch, though, that I need to let you know about if you decide to do the same thing.

Water droplets will fall where they may. Some will hit the cat. Others won't. And those that don't hit the cat, will hit the floor.

At least, the water drops hit my kitchen floor.

And stayed there.

Until I stepped on them.

Wet kitchen floors can be slippery. Keep that in mind.

I will from now on.