Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Driving your own car is racist

In Russell County, Alabama, (just across the river from Columbus, Georgia, for the geographically impaired) there was a discussion last week about using county vehicles. The Columbus Ledger-Enquirer has the story, but here's a summary: One county commissioner -- one of the four white ones -- brought up for a vote a policy saying that county commissioners could use the county-owned Ford Explorer only when traveling outside the local counties (Russell County, Alabama and Muscogee County, Georgia). Commissioners would have to use their own personal vehicle when driving in the local counties, and could be reimbursed at the standard rate. Another commissioner -- one of the three black ones -- called the proposed policy "racist." The vote was 3-3-1. That broke down to three whites voting "yes," three blacks voting "no," and one white abstaining. They finally ended up agreeing to research what the policy has been, since nobody remembered. Without knowing what the previous policy was, assuming there was one, it seems to me that a county vehicle could be used for county business, regardless of where the business is. A policy that says you can't use a county vehicle for county business in the county is ... stupid. Not racist, just stupid. Calling it "racist" is ... racist. And stupid. At least it's nice to know that stupidity is color-blind.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Virus removal

Because so many people use a Microsoft Windows operating system, most viruses and other malicious software ("malware") are targeted for Windows users.

So, because of the large number of viruses out there targeting Windows, it could happen that you get a virus.

Three reasons

There are three primary reasons (in order) you could get a virus:
  1. Bad computer habits
  2. Missing or outdated security applications
  3. Bad luck
Not much can be done about the bad luck. However, many will blame bad luck first. But, if you haven't taken care of the first two, bad luck isn't the reason. Bad decisions would be more likely.

I've written about the bad habits and the security applications. You need to understand the importance of those.

If you don't think they're important, you're wrong. And that's experience talking.

I've had bad computer habits. Cutting down on those has helped. It's called learning from experience.

I've run without (or with outdated) security applications. I learned my lesson. It's called learning from experience.

I've also encountered bad luck. It happens. But if you haven't corrected bad computer habits or aren't running up-to-date security software, bad luck's the least of your problems.

Shut up and help

Alight, let's assume you have a virus on your Windows computer. If it's because of bad habits, or because of lack of security protection software, or because of bad luck, you're in the same situation: You have a problem and need to fix it.

How?

First, you need to use an anti-virus software package to clean things up. Or try to, anyway.

I have had success with the AVG and with the Avast! packages. Get one of those.

How?

If you can connect to the Internet, you can download AVG or Avast! by clicking on either link.

But sometimes, the virus will intercept your attempts to go to one of those pages and redirect you somewhere else. AntiVirus 2009 Pro (not to be confused with legitimate packages like the similarly-named Panda package) is one that does this.

If you can't access the Websites, you need to go to a safe, protected computer, take a USB key ("flash drive"), and download a package. If you must use another computer, go ahead and download both to the flash drive. You may need them both.

Attempt to install one of the packages on the infected computer. If one fails, try the other. I have always had success with one or the other; however you may find neither works. If that's the case, try other packages on this list. I've not used them all, so I can't speak to all of them.

Once you've installed and run the antivirus package, have it clean or remove everything it finds. This may take a while. This may take hours. Do it anyway.

Once you've cleaned the computer, you're not done. Scan it again. Then, if everything is still clean, you're still not done.

There's more?

Reboot your computer. Then, scan it again. Yes, I said scan it again.

You see, some viruses can reconstitute themselves after a reboot.

Keep scanning and cleaning and rebooting until everything is gone. If you find you're stuck in a loop -- the same virus keeps being removed but keeps coming back -- try another antivirus package (Avast! or AVG).

Eventually, one should do the job.

Next, you need to keep your computer safe. Microsoft actually has a good summary of things to do here.

They'll try to sell you their security package, Microsoft Live OneCare. It's a good package. But keep in mind what you just used to clean your computer. You may want to consider giving that application the job full-time. And, you may want to buy their full suite of protections software as a reward for a job well done.

The final step

The last thing you can do is prevent problems in the future. You can help by following the suggestions here.

The best way to get a virus off your computer is to not let it on to start with.

Virus protection

Most computer users are running computers with a Microsoft Windows operating system. That, all by itself, makes a computer susceptible to a virus or other dangerous or malicious software ("malware").

I'm not trashing Microsoft; I'm stating a fact. Microsoft Windows is so prevalent that it's a target for those that create viruses or other malicious software.

It's common for many computer users to get a virus. The most common reason is a lack of proper protection. That involves not having good, up-to-date security software. It also involves careful computer habits.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Christmas 2008

  1. And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed.
  2. (And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.)
  3. And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city.
  4. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David)
  5. To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.
  6. And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.
  7. And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.
  8. And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.
  9. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.
  10. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
  11. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.
  12. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.
  13. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,
  14. Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.
  15. And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us.
  16. And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger.
  17. And when they had seen it, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this child.
  18. And all they that heard it wondered at those things which were told them by the shepherds.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

A Visit From St. Nicholas

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse; The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there; The children were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads; And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap, had just settled down for a long winter's nap, When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, tore open the shutters and threw up the sash. The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow gave the luster of mid-day to objects below, When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer, With a little old driver, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick. More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name: "Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet! On Cupid! On, Donder and Blitzen! To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall! Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!" As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky, so up to the house-top the coursers they flew, With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too. And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof the prancing and pawing of each little hoof. As I drew in my hand, and was turning around, down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound. He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot, and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot; A bundle of toys he had flung on his back, and he looked like a peddler just opening his pack. His eyes — how they twinkled! His dimples how merry! His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry! His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, and the beard of his chin was as white as the snow; The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth, and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath; He had a broad face and a little round belly, that shook, when he laughed like a bowl full of jelly. He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf, and I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself; A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread; He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, and filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk, Laying his finger aside of his nose, And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose; He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, and away they all flew like the down of a thistle. But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight, "Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."

Monday, December 22, 2008

An Icebox Fruitcake recipe

For those raised up in the South, you're probably familiar with what an "icebox" is. If you're not ... well ... it's an early refrigerator. Ran on ice. If you can call it running. It actually just sat there. An icebox was an insulated chest or cabinet that contained ice, and kept the contents cool. You'd restock it when the ice melted down. You've probably seen one. Ever watch The Honeymooners? The Kramdens had one. After refrigeration came affordable for many folks, the phrase "icebox" stayed around for a while. My grandmother (father's mother) often called her refrigerator "the icebox" until she died (a decade and a half ago). So, now that you know what an "icebox" is -- if you didn't already know, that is -- you'll understand better the name "icebox fruitcake." It's fruitcake insofar as it's very similar in appearance to traditional fruitcake. But it won't keep. Traditional fruitcake can be kept around 40 years or more. Or so it seems. Not so with icebox fruitcake. You need to eat it, or, like your --or my -- grandmother might say, "put it in the icebox." The Wife's grandmother actually is the source of this icebox fruitcake recipe. I don't like fruitcake. I like this. Ingredients
  • One box (approx. 12 oz.) of vanilla wafers
  • One pound of candied cherries (red and/or green)
  • One can (approx. 14 oz.) sweetened condensed milk (do not use evaporated milk)
  • One cup raisins
  • One cup coconut
  • One cup pecans, chopped.
Directions
  1. Finely crush vanilla wafers.
  2. In a large bowl, add the vanilla wafers and sweetened condensed milk.
  3. Hand mix until wafers are moistened.
  4. Add remaining ingredients.
  5. Mix well by hand.
  6. Press mixture into a buttered tube pan. Alternately, press into cupcake pan for individual-size cakes.
  7. Cover.
  8. Refrigerate overnight, or until firm.
It will spoil if you don't refrigerate it (or "put it in the icebox"). Keep in mind, there are many varieties of icebox fruitcake recipes. This is but one. Feel free to expand on it in any way (graham crackers, adult beverages, etc.). If you've never experienced an icebox fruitcake, you don't know what you're missing. If this recipe turns out to be your first ... well, you're welcome.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

All I want for Christmas is...

Remember the movie A Christmas Story? The main character, Ralphie, wanted "an official Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock, and this thing which tells time."

And, at the end of the movie, he got it.

Remember Peggy Joseph? She's the woman who said that, because of Obama, wouldn't have to worry about putting gas in her car or have to worry about her mortgage.

video

She thinks he's Santa Claus.

Well, so do most Americans, it seems. They voted him as the next president.

In the spirit of those American classics -- A Christmas Story and Barack Obama -- I'm wondering what you want Obama to bring you for Christmas.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Majel Barrett

Majel Barrett-Roddenberry, widow of Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry, died today. She was 76, and had been suffering from leukemia. She's the only person to have appeared in all Star Trek series. She was second in command, "Number One," in the original pilot, moving to the role of Nurse Christine Chapel in the original series. She reprised the role of Chapel in the animated series, and voiced the computer in The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, Voyager, and Enterprise, as well as in many of the movies. She also had the recurring role of Lwaxana Troi, in TNG and DS9. I met her once. She was appearing at a Star Trek convention in Savannah, and I had the pleasure of seeing her there. But I got the chance to meet her after the convention. When everything was done, everyone was getting ready to leave. My brother-in-law -- my Big Sister's husband -- was tired of it all, and sat down in a chair outside the elevators. I joined him, while my Big Sister wandered around trying to find some Star Trek stars she could bother. My brother-in-law and I sat there, talking. We've know each other a long time. He and I knew each other years before he and my Big Sister ever met. Suddenly, the elevator doors opened, and out came Majel Barrett-Roddenberry, trying to lug around several pieces of luggage. Turns out she was ready to go, and the person who was supposed to meet her and get her luggage was late. So, she grabbed them, dragged them onto the elevator, and pressed the "Lobby" button. As she struggled to get her bags out of the elevator, we jumped up and offered to help. She was a little wary, but mostly frustrated that her assistant wasn't there to have her luggage transported for her. Her wariness was relaxed somewhat when she found out that one of the men offering to help was a chief of police (my brother-in-law, the Chief). She got everything where she needed to be, and went on her way to her next destination. I liked the fact that she was a determined lady. She needed to go somewhere, others weren't cooperating, and she made it happen anyway. And, no, carrying one's on luggage isn't a big deal. But, heck, I don't know that I'd like carrying that many bags around a hotel myself. If you're a Star Trek fan, you understand the loss we're feeling. If not, just know that a funny, determined woman has left us. I'm sad.

Monday, December 15, 2008

His place in history

When the Electors meet in the several states' capitals today to formally cast their ballots for president, something historical will occur. But I have a question regarding Barack Obama's place in history: Will he be the second Mob-connected president, or the third? Just wondering.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Ho ho ho

The Christmas parade was held in Columbus and Phenix City yesterday. My teenage niece, was in the parade with other area pageant winners from Georgia and Alabama. So, in addition to taking the grandchildren to see the Christmas parade, I got to see my niece riding in the parade. Parades aren't like they used to be. For instance, in my home town ... a small town in southeast Georgia ... we'd have the Christmas parade, and it would have a few cars, a few floats, the JROTC, the high school marching band, and Santa on a fire truck. The parade yesterday in Columbus and Phenix City was a larger version of the same thing. Lots of cars with area mayors, other cars with folks from businesses or other politicians, floats from churches and other organizations, marching bands, fire trucks, and such. It was the high schools, though, that caught my eye this time. The Carver High School band came by. And they had ... oh, I don't know ... cheerleaders, dancers, or something. Bunch of high school girls wearing shorts. They stopped, the drum major (or whatever role the young man held), did his little whistle thing, the Carver marchers got into position, and the dancers started ... well ... I'm not sure how to describe it. A bunch of trusting pelvises was involved. Use your imagination. You'd be on target, I suspect. Right there in front of my 9-year-old grandchildren, a bunch of 16-year-olds acting like ... well, "ho, ho, ho" comes to mind. I calmly stepped forward between the two granddaughters, bent down, and told them, "If I ever catch you acting like that, I'll beat your ass." I meant it. And they know it.

Monday, December 8, 2008

A better college football playoff plan

Thinking about a solution to the BCS problem, I came up with a 16-team playoff system, using conference champions as the top 11 slots, with wild card teams filling out the field of 16. But some don't like that. Some complain that teams like Troy or Buffalo shouldn't make the mix while better teams like Oklahoma State, Georgia Tech, Brigham Young, or Ball State are left out. So, if its the best teams that should fill the field of 16, then there's an easy solution:
  1. Florida
  2. Alabama
  3. Georgia
  4. Mississippi
  5. Louisiana State
  6. South Carolina
  7. Vanderbilt
  8. Kentucky
  9. Arkansas
  10. Tennessee
  11. Auburn
  12. Mississippi State
  13. Oklahoma
  14. Texas
  15. Southern California
  16. Utah
Problem solved.

Solving the BCS problem

The mythical college football championship game is set. And lots of people are not happy. Me? I don't have a dog in the hunt. Or Dawg, to be specific. Still, there are some unhappy campers. And I'm in that group. Despite my not having a team of interest in the mix ... or close to the mix ... I'm in the unhappy group because ... well, let's face it: I have strong opinions. But I do more than just whine about something I don't like; I have a solution. Check that. I have THE solution: A 16-team playoff that uses the BCS for seeding. Automatic Bids There are 11 conferences. The 11 conference champions get an automatic spot. The remaining 5 spots ... call them "wild card" spots ... would be taken up by the top teams in the BCS standings that don't get an automatic berth. Here are the 11 conference champions, listed alphabetically by conference:
ConferenceChampion
Atlantic CoatVirginia Tech
Big EastCincinnati
Big TenPenn State
Big 12Oklahoma
Conference USAEast Carolina
Mid-AmericaBuffalo
Mountain WestUtah
Pacific 10Southern California
SoutheasternFlorida
Sun BeltTroy
Western AthleticBoise State
Wild Card Teams Here are the top five teams (according to the BCS) that did not win their conference.
RankTeam
3.Texas
4.Alabama
7.Texas Tech
10.Ohio State
11.Texas Christian
There are two ways of doing the seeding. One is using the BCS to rank them, plain and simple. But that's too plain and simple for me. I actually like the way the NFL does it. In the NFL, the division champs get the top seeds, and the wild cards get the leftover slots, regardless of record. For instance, in 2007, Tampa Bay was the #4 seed in the NFC, winning the South with a 9-7 record, while the Giants were the #5 seed, despite having 10-6 record. Likewise, Pittsburgh took the AFC North with a 10-6 record, and were seeded 4th, while Jacksonville, sporting a better record (11-5), was 5th seed, since they didn't win their division. Seeding Using that as a model, here's the 2008 NCAA Division I-A (using the older name) playoff seeding:
SeedTeamConferenceRecordBCS
1.OklahomaBig 1212-11
2.FloridaSoutheast12-12
3.Southern CaliforniaPacific 1011-15
4.UtahMountain West12-06
5.Penn StateBig Ten11-18
6.Boise StateWestern Athletic12-09
7.CincinnatiBig East11-212
8.Virginia TechAtlantic Coast9-419
9.East CarolinaConference USA9-4none
10.TroySun Belt8-4none
11.BuffaloMid-America8-5none
12.TexasWild card11-13
13.AlabamaWild card12-14
14.Texas TechWild card11-17
15.Ohio StateWild card10-210
16.Texas ChristianWild card10-211
Matchups This will set up some interesting matchups:
  • (16) Texas Christian at (1) Oklahoma
  • (15) Ohio State at (2) Florida
  • (14) Texas Tech at (3) Southern California
  • (13) Alabama at (4) Utah
  • (12) Texas at (5) Penn State
  • (11) Buffalo at (6) Boise State
  • (10) Troy at (7) Cincinnati
  • (9) East Carolina at (8) Virginia Tech
The 8 winners would play the following week, with the top 4 remaining seeds hosting the bottom 4 remaining seeds. The 8 first-round losers and the 4 second-round losers would get bowl invitations. And pretty good bowl invitations, in all likelihood. The final four would play as part of the January 1st bowl games. The final two would play a week later for the real ... not mythical ... championship.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

So how else were we right?

During the run-up to the recent election, those of us on the right said that an Obama election would be bad in several ways, including for the economy. And now, Barack Hussein Obama agrees:
In the intervening weeks, the economy has showed clear signs of worsening. Employers said they eliminated more than 500,000 jobs in November alone and retailers reported disappointing holiday-season sales. "The economy is going to get worse before it gets better," he said twice in the early moments of the interview, taped Saturday in Chicago.
What else does he now agree with us about? That he'll be weak on national defense? That he'll raise your taxes? That he'll increase government interference in your life? That he'll send the country to hell in a handbasket? I wonder: Regarding Obama, what else we were right about?

lolcat of the day

Having a cat ... or in my case, The Wife having a cat ... means that I get to appreciate all the wonderful things that cats do. Like leaving dead animals at the front door.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Two words

We all have out quirks. Some are cute. Some are silly. Some are ... aggravating. Mine? I don't have quirks. Just my own special way of doing things. Like taking care about what I say. Words are important. Some people refuse to say certain words. They'll come up with substitutes for other words. This is common with profanity. The word "darn" for instance is used by some instead of "damn." The TV show Battlestar Galactica came up with the word "frack" (in the 1970s series; it's "frak" in the current series). It, of course, is used instead of the word ... well, you know what word it replaces. The list goes on and on. My biggest quirk about words, though, isn't about finding replacements for curse words. Its about avoiding words that ... seem worse. For instance, there are two words that I've never used. And another two words I don't plan to use. Oh, I've used the words separately. But never together. In my lifetime, I've referred most Presidents by their title and name. But not all. I never referred to President Eisenhower as such during his presidency. I was too young. Same thing with President Kennedy. I've used the phrases "President Eisenhower" and "President Kennedy" but never during their terms in office. Or, at least, if I did, I don't remember doing it. But, beginning with President Johnson, I remember using the title with the name. Also with President Nixon, President Ford, President Carter, President Reagan, and President Bush. With the election of Bill Clinton in 1992, though, I just couldn't bring myself to say ... that phrase. Really. I've never written it. I've never uttered it. I can hardly think it. During those years, I referred to Bill Clinton either by his name ("Bill Clinton" or "William Jefferson Clinton" depending on the circumstances), or by his title alone. I would say "the President" or "the Commander in Chief" or whatever the circumstances called for. But I never could bring myself to say ... those two words together. That phrase. Still can't stomach it. And now, Barack Hussein Obama will likely be elected to the highest office in the land. When the electors meet in two weeks, it would be very, very, very, very, very unlikely for those pledged to Barack Hussein Obama to do anything other than vote for Barack Hussein Obama. We'll find out for certain in January, when the votes of the electors are actually opened and counted. I don't expect a surprise. Which means that I'll be spending the next four years using other words to describe the person sitting in the Oval Office. Right now, I have no problem calling the current office-holder by his title and name: President Bush. Come noon January 20th, I won't be able to say those two words: the combination of the office and the name. But not to worry. There are plenty of other words and phrases I have for the likes of Barack Hussein Obama.

lolcat of the day

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Thanksgiving 2008

Today is Thanksgiving Day in the United States. It's a day set aside for giving thanks for the many blessing we have received. Many families will gather together, many good times will be shared, and many meals will be consumed. But there are people who don't have families with whom to gather together, who are suffering hardships and having trouble making ends meet, and are cold and hungry. Think about these people. While there are some people that you just can't help, there are many, many more you can. Find a way to help others as you recoginize all the blessings you have received. And don't forget to give thanks for what you have. Don't worry about what you don't have. The Good Lord has been very kind and gracious to use, allowing us to reap the benefits of living in the United States of America. Let's don't lose sight of that fact.
Thanksgiving Day, 2008 A Proclamation by the President of the United States of America Thanksgiving is a time for families and friends to gather together and express gratitude for all that we have been given, the freedoms we enjoy, and the loved ones who enrich our lives. We recognize that all of these blessings, and life itself, come not from the hand of man but from Almighty God. Every Thanksgiving, we remember the story of the Pilgrims who came to America in search of religious freedom and a better life. Having arrived in the New World, these early settlers gave thanks to the Author of Life for granting them safe passage to this abundant land and protecting them through a bitter winter. Our Nation's first President, George Washington, stated in the first Thanksgiving proclamation that "It is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favor." While in the midst of the Civil War, President Abraham Lincoln revived the tradition of proclaiming a day of thanksgiving, asking God to heal our wounds and restore our country. Today, as we look back on the beginnings of our democracy, Americans recall that we live in a land of many blessings where every person has the right to live, work, and worship in freedom. Our Nation is especially thankful for the brave men and women of our Armed Forces who protect these rights while setting aside their own comfort and safety. Their courage keeps us free, their sacrifice makes us grateful, and their character makes us proud. Especially during the holidays, our whole country keeps them and their families in our thoughts and prayers. Americans are also mindful of the need to share our gifts with others, and our Nation is moved to compassionate action. We pay tribute to all caring citizens who reach out a helping hand and serve a cause larger than themselves. On this day, let us all give thanks to God who blessed our Nation's first days and who blesses us today. May He continue to guide and watch over our families and our country always. NOW, THEREFORE, I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim November 27, 2008, as a National Day of Thanksgiving. I encourage all Americans to gather together in their homes and places of worship with family, friends, and loved ones to strengthen the ties that bind us and give thanks for the freedoms and many blessings we enjoy. IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this twenty-first day of November, in the year of our Lord two thousand eight, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirty-third. GEORGE W. BUSH
Thank God for all the things He has placed on this world for us.<

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

The most trusted name in made-up news

According to a recent Zogby poll, "37.6% of those surveyed, news sources on the Internet are considered to be the most reliable."

More than Fox News. More than CNN. More than MSNBC. More than the New York Times.

Think about that for a minute.

I mean, if people believe the Internet more than news organizations, does that mean that they don't trust CNN, but do trust CNN.com?

I don't think so.

There's something else on the Internet they trust. And what could that be?

BLOGS!!!

Yes, blogs -- such as this blog -- are the most trusted source of news. That has to be it!

As a dues-paying member of the Internets, I, for one, am proud of the faith you have placed us.

Misplaced faith, to be sure. But we're not about to let your misguided notions of who to trust go to our heads.

We'll continue to make up stuff about liberals, never ceasing, never tiring, never stopping, ever growing, ever moving, ever rising till ... well, you get the idea.

Like CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, the New York Times, or any of those "news organizations," we'll continue to be make stuff up and to have a tremendous bias.

Unlike CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, the New York Times, or any of those "news organizations," we'll continue to be open and honest about making stuff up and about our bias.

You can trust us on that.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Now in 3-D

The NFL is planning on broadcasting a game in 3-D. They've got nothing on us. This blog is now in 3-D! It may take some getting used to. But it just takes a little bit of effort to appreciate the full effect of 3-D:
Now wasn't that worth it?

Chicken bacon ranch

I like eating sandwiches. Hamburgers are my favorite. But I'll eat sub sandwiches (Subway, Firehouse, Quiznos, etc) too. Lately, I've seen ads about Dominos new sandwiches. But we've never had them. The Wife and I decided tonight to try them. We stopped by Dominos, I went inside, and placed my order. It took longer than expected. You see, they messed up one of the sandwiches. Mine. The Chicken Bacon Ranch. I don't know how they messed it up, but the manager on duty notified me that there would be a delay, because they made an error in making my Chicken Bacon Ranch sandwich. No, I didn't ask how someone could mess one of those up. I probably didn't want to know. After a delay, I got the sandwich. And it was good. It was really good. But I really got to wonder... There's not much to a Chicken Bacon Ranch sandwich. There's chicken. There's bacon. And there's ranch dressing. And it's on a sandwich. I mean, the recipe is in the name of the sandwich. And they messed it up. What, did the fact that there were three ingredients confuse them? It makes you wonder. It really makes you wonder.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Supporting the auto industry bailout

After much consideration, I am in favor of the auto industry bailout. I don't make this decision lightly. I considered many factors, and have decided that it would be best if the U.S. government bailed out the Big Three auto makers. The thing most people forget is that the U.S. auto industry is more than Ford, GM, and Chrysler. Those are the big auto makers that are headquartered in Michigan. But that's not where all the cars are made. Tennessee, for instance, has GM plants. And Volkswagen is building a plant there. Nissan builds vehicles there, too. And Alabama. Mercedes builds vehicles there. Yes, there are Mercedes built in Alabama. Betcha didn't know that. And Honda vehicles, too. And Toyota. Georgia is getting a new Kia plant. They're hiring, by the way. What all this means is, while things are rough up north, the auto industry in the south is doing well. Or a helluva lot better than Detroit. I live in the south. Born here. Live here. Love it here. And that's why we need to bail out the auto industry. Up north. You see, all those blue states -- the ones with Democrat governors and Democrat Representatives and Democrat Senators and Democrat Legislatures --- have let the Democrats in power screw up their economies while down here in the red states --- the ones with Republican governors and Republican Representatives and Republican Senators and Republican Legislatures -- have had better economies. What I'm worried about is that all those folks that keep electing Democrats that screwed up those northern economies will move down here where the jobs are, register to vote, then elect Democrats to power that'll screw up things down here as bad as it is up north. So, I say bail out the auto industry. We've got enough problems down here in the south without a bunch do damn Democrats moving down here and screwing things up even worse. Bail them out. Or build a fence. Right about the Mason-Dixon line ought to do.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

For those that say this country doesn't have a prayer...

On January 23, 1996, Pastor Joe Wright -- at the time, pastor of the Central Christian Church, Wichita, Kansas -- offered this prayer to the Kansas House of Representatives in Topeka:
Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask your forgiveness and seek your direction and guidance. We know your Word says, "Woe to those who call evil good," but that's exactly what we've done. We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and inverted our values. We confess that we have ridiculed the absolute truth of your Word and called it moral pluralism. We have worshiped other gods and called it multiculturalism. We have endorsed perversion and called it an alternative lifestyle. We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery. We have neglected the needy and called it self-preservation. We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare. We have killed our unborn and called it choice. We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable. We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building esteem. We have abused power and called it political savvy. We have coveted our neighbors' possessions and called it ambition. We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of expression. We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment. Search us O God and know our hearts today; try us and see if there be some wicked way in us; cleanse us from every sin and set us free. Guide and bless these men and women who have been sent here by the people of Kansas, and who have been ordained by you, to govern this great state. Grant them your wisdom to rule and may their decisions direct us to the center of your will. I ask it in the name of your son, the living savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.
Some folks ... mostly Democrats ... didn't like it. Wright retired in 2006. His prayer continues to go strong, being passed around the Internet, with credit given to Paul Harvey and Billy Graham. I wonder if any sitting Congressman has enough guts to open any session of Congress with this prayer. I'm thinking not. And that says a lot about the state we're in today. And none of it good.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Obama plates

They're selling Barack Obama plates. See? I'm not making this crap up. Like he's Elvis. Or Dale Earnhardt. Can you believe that? Think about it for a second. Someone is using capitalism to make money off the image of a socialist. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Anyway, we've got a cat. And we pamper that darn cat. Actually buy cat food for it. And I don't mean Little Friskies in a box. I'm talking about stuff in pouches. And in cans. The single serving cans. That cost about a dollar each. I don't know why. I mean, it's a cat. But, it does say one thing about us. We like the cat. But still, we'll put the cat food in a paper plate. Or in a used Stouffer's lasagna container. Or something. But, we'd never put it on a Barack Obama plate. I mean, I spend a dollar for a single-serving can of cat food. That means I like my cat. So I wouldn't make the cat eat off a Barack Obama plate. But, I assume there are some actual uses for a Barack Obama plate. I just can't think of any.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Veteran's Day 2008

Today is Veteran's Day. It began as Armistice Day, noting the the end of the first world war, November 11, 1918. In the 1950s, it was expanded to become a day to honor all U. S. veterans. This country has been honored by the service of many, many men and women over the years, serving in the uniforms of our country. We should honor them, remembering all those that served, especially those that gave their lives in that service. As a veteran, I'm honored to have worn my country's uniform. As a citizen, I want to honor those that are wearing that uniform today.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Solving the financial crisis

I know how to solve the financial crisis in this country. Hire Rebecca Paul. No, really. Okay, for those of you who don't know who Rebecca Paul is, she started up the Illinois Lottery. Then was hired away by Florida to start up the Florida Lottery. Then Georgia hired her away to start ... you guessed it ... the Georgia Lottery. Then Tennessee came calling, and hired her to start up the Tennessee Lottery. She used to be a Republican, then her husband died, and she hooked up with a Democrat in the Tennessee state legislature. So I guess she's a Democrat now. Sort of like Theresa Heinz Kerry. Except Rebecca Paul actually did something. Anyway, hire her away from Tennessee to start up the United States Lottery. Run it like the lotteries she's set up in Illinois, Florida, Georgia, and Tennessee. That means that half the money goes into the winner's pot, 15% is used to run the lottery, and the other 35% goes to the treasury. And lots of money will go into the lottery. Poor people put big bucks into the lottery all the time. So that'll mean that Obama won't need to raise taxes on the rich. Or on plumbers from Ohio. And conservatives like me will get to watch poor people funding the government. Sure, babies will go hungry, and crack dealers might find a crimp in their business, but that's the price of success. And the best part? When some poor person wins and becomes a zillionaire, he'll end up in a higher tax bracket and learn to hate Democrats. There'll be more rich Republicans (not rich White Republicans, but we've got enough of those already). And the poor Democrats will pay for it. It's a win-win situation.

Explaining the tax system

It's making the rounds again. The parable that explains the tax system. It's been credited to several people, mostly professors at UGA or U of South Dakota. But the earliest reference I can find is from 2002, and it credits Moon Griffon:
Suppose everyday, 10 men go to dinner. The bill for all ten comes to $100. If it were paid the way we pay our taxes, the first four men would pay nothing; the fifth would pay $1; the sixth would pay $3; the seventh $7; the eighth $12; the ninth $18. The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59. The 10 men ate dinner in the restaurant every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement until the owner threw them a curve. "Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily meal by $20." Now dinner for the 10 only costs $80. The first four are unaffected. They still eat for free. Can you figure out how to divvy up the $20 savings among the remaining six so that everyone gets his fair share? The men realize that $20 divided by 6 is $3.33, but if they subtract that from everybody's share, then the fifth man the sixth man would end up being paid to eat their meal. The restaurant owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay. And so the fifth man paid nothing, the sixth pitched in $2, the seventh paid $5, the eighth paid $9, the ninth paid $12, leaving the tenth man with a bill of $52 instead of $59. Outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings. "I only got a dollar out of the $20," declared the sixth man pointing to the tenth, "and he got $7!" "Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man. I only saved a dollar, too. It's unfair that he got seven times more than me!" "That's true," shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get $7 back when I got only $2? The wealthy get all the breaks." "Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison. "We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor." The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up. The next night he didn't show up for dinner, so the nine sat down and ate without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They were $52 short! And that, boys and girls and politicians, is how the tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up at the table anymore. There are lots of good restaurants in Switzerland and the Caribbean.
There's a message in there somewhere. I'm sure of it.

United States?

I'm curious as to how the presumptive President-elect will proceed. So far, I'm not impressed. But he's not out to impress me. I do wonder if he'll be claiming a mandate, though. I'm not the only one: Copyright © 2008 PoliticalCartoons.com. Used with permission. All fees paid.

lolcat of the day

Meh. Job sux. Pay sux. Doan wanna get outta bed. more animals

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Mr. President

George Washington looked through his leveling instrument when he heard the sound of hoofs. He looked up, and saw the rider approaching. A small cloud of dust rose, tracing the path the rider was taken down the dirt road that worked its way through the plantation. It was wonderful here. He appreciated the life he had now. Was it life? He wasn't sure. He didn't care. He simply enjoyed it. The rider pulled up. "Mr. President," the rider said, tipping his hat. "Mr. President," Washington replied, returning the salute. "Are you going to see the results of the election?" John Adams, the rider, asked.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

I voted

Did my part today. Cast ballots for John McCain and Sarah Palin. Of course, I did it right. Wore an Obama'08 pin into the polling place. And they let me vote again. And again. Democracy. Ain't it great!

Obama vs Obama

Barack Obama's attack ad on himself: video Thanks to: Mary Katharine Ham Tell me again why this guy's the favorite. Is is because we live in Bizarro World?

Monday, November 3, 2008

The Bucket Saga

lolworld "where's mah bukkit?" asks teh walrus. other walrus sez "oh noes!!1! ur bukkit iz gones" "i will finds it" walrus sez and he goes seekingz teh bukkit "oh hai! haz u seen mah bukkit?" walrus sez to kitteh "i did not looks at ur bukkit" sez kitteh walrus sez "helps me find mah bucket" "i can has cheezburger?" askz kitteh "halps me find mah bucket" sez walrus "kthx" kitteh sez 2 walrus but teh bukkit waz not founds teh walrus did his searches more at worldz ending, he have decided 2 goes in teh following world In Frank's World

El Hombre Negro

Hugo Chavez is reported to have said that he looks forward to talking with "the black man" in the White House. But, you know what? I bet he didn't say that. Oh, sure, Klingons speak English. Saw that on Star Trek. Cardassians, too. And the Borg. Romulans, Vulcans, Q, they all speak English. Even those green Orion slave women speak English. And those people on Twilight Zone that want To Serve Man, even they speak English. But Hugo Chavez doesn't. I looked up what he said:
No le pedimos que sea un revolucionario, que sea un socialista, no, sólo que se coloque el hombre negro que está a punto de llegar a ser presidente de los Estados Unidos (...) ojalá se ubique a la altura del momento que vive el mundo."
"El hombre negro." The black man. If I said that, I'd be in a world of hurt. But since Chavez said it, it's okay. Since Chavez is one of The Anointed One's friends. Anyway, Obama ... oops, I mean El Hombre Negro ... is Hugo Chavez' choice for President of the U.S. Even the Klingons, Romulans, Cardassians, Borg, or any other evil race has the decency to stay out of it. But, here in Bizarro World, it's a positive for Obama ... excuse me, I mean, El Hombre Negro ... to have someone like Hugo Chavez as a supporter. I miss my planet Earth.

BO says FO

Today, Barack Obama congratulated John McCain on his hard-fought campaign. Obama congratulates McCain A picture is worth a thousand words. Tell me again why this guy is leading in the polls? Is it that we're living in Bizarro World?

Obama cares for you ... as long as you're not related to him

Barack Obama called John McCain, Sarah Palin, and conservatives in general, "selfish" for opposing his plan to take your money and "spread the wealth around" by giving it to others.

Some Obama supporters, like Peggy Johnson, say Obama will take care of them:

video

Obama has had a lead with Hispanic voters for some time -- though that gap is closing -- because of how he's perceived regarding the immigration issue.

So, how do those perceptions bear up to the facts?

They don't.

Why would Obama take care of Peggy Johnson, when he won't take care of his own aunt?

She's been living -- illegally -- in a Boston slum for four years. And Obama isn't trying to help her stay here.

But, remember, this is Bizzaro World we're now living in.

What's the big focus of the story about Obama's Aunt Zeituni?

There's an investigation to find out who told.

Gosh, I miss reality. This whole Bizzaro World is taking some getting used to.

Obama in his own words: Jeremiah Wright

Barack Obama's words about Jeremiah Wright, Obama's former pastor: video Wright was Obama's pastor for 20 years: video Suppose James David Manning had been Barack Obama's pastor: Hat tip: Pat Dollard What would Obama be like? Would he be the same person? If not, then what kind of person is he now, having spent 20 years with his mentor, Jeremiah Wright?

Obama in his own words: Bill Ayers

Obama defends his relationship with Ayers: video Obama and Bill Ayers: video Bill Ayers, the terrorist who dedicated a book to political prisoners like Sirhan Sirhan: Obama knew Ayers. Obama worked with Ayers. Obama got money for Ayers. Lots and lots of money. The whole "when I was 8 years old" line doesn't fly, because he wasn't 8 when he launched his campaign in Ayers' home. He wasn't 8 when he served on several boards and programs with Ayers. He wasn't 8 years old when he used his position in the Illinois state legislature to get money for Ayers and his group. Tell me again why he's leading in the polls.

Obama in his own words: Teach sex ed to kindergarteners

Obama and sex education. Listen carefully to what he says 25 seconds in. Then hear Gov. Romney's response. video Another version. This one, Obama sandwiched around a supporter: video Obama says someone said something false about him. Then agrees with what was said. Tell me again why he's leading in the polls. Is it because we're in Bizzaro World?

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Bush, Cheney resign

A funny from Pat Dollard:
Bush And Cheney Resign In Pre-Election Shocker - Pelosi Sworn In As President
Read the whole thing.

McCain on SNL: QVC

The plates! The Ayers freshener! Funny stuff.

Not Obama's preacher

Suppose James David Manning had been Barack Obama's preacher: Things would be a little different now.

lolcat of the day

So tell me again why Obama is expected to win in any state that has a large coal economy

Latest polls (if you believe them) show Barack Obama winning in many of the largest coal-producing states.

Of the top 15 coal-producing states, Obama leads the polls in 6 of them, for a total of 89 electoral votes:
  1. Wyoming (338,900)
  2. West Virginia (158,257)
  3. Kentucky (130,688)
  4. *Pennsylvania (74,619)
  5. Texas (49,498)
  6. Montana (38,352)
  7. *Illinois (33,444)
  8. *Virginia (32,834)
  9. North Dakota (31,270)
  10. *Colorado (29,137)
  11. Indiana (27,965)
  12. *New Mexico (27,323)
  13. Utah (26,656)
  14. *Ohio (22,269)
  15. Alabama (19,324)
Totals in thousands of short tons, as of 2000. States marked with an asterisk (*) are listed as leaning/strong Obama by RealClearPolitics.com on November 2, 2008.

If McCain won those states, he'd win the election.

But here's the reality ... or so it seems: Obama leads in 6 of the top coal-producing states.

And Obama wants to bankrupt the coal industry:
Let me sort of describe my overall policy.

What I've said is that we would put a cap and trade system in place that is as aggressive, if not more aggressive, than anybody else's out there.

I was the first to call for a 100% auction on the cap and trade system, which means that every unit of carbon or greenhouse gases emitted would be charged to the polluter. That will create a market in which whatever technologies are out there that are being presented, whatever power plants that are being built, that they would have to meet the rigors of that market and the ratcheted down caps that are being placed, imposed every year.

So if somebody wants to build a coal-powered plant, they can; it's just that it will bankrupt them because they're going to be charged a huge sum for all that greenhouse gas that's being emitted.

That will also generate billions of dollars that we can invest in solar, wind, biodiesel and other alternative energy approaches.

The only thing I've said with respect to coal, I haven't been some coal booster. What I have said is that for us to take coal off the table as a ideological matter as opposed to saying if technology allows us to use coal in a clean way, we should pursue it.

So if somebody wants to build a coal-powered plant, they can.

It's just that it will bankrupt them.
video

Why would someone in those states want to vote themselves out of a job?

Maybe so they can get some of your wealth that Obama plans to spread around?

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Trick or Treat, Obama style

If it seems I'm all up in arms over Obama's "spread the wealth around" comments, then ... well, okay, you got me. I don't like it.

Not that he said it, because he's actually telling how he believes.

It's the belief that I don't like.

But, as this Gary McCoy caartoon from 2006 shows, it's nothing new:


Copyright © 2006 PoliticalCartoons.com. Used with permission. All fees paid.

[Hat tip: Jen. No, Kelly, not that Jen. Another Jen.]

Sturmabteilung? Or Schutzstaffel?

Barack Obama wants a "civilian national security force." Not the National Guard. Not the Reserves. But a new force. video
We cannot continue to rely only on our military in order to achieve the national security objective that we've set. We've got to have a civilian national security force that's just as powerful, just as strong, just as well-funded.
What was that organization that Adolf Hitler had? Sturmabteilung? You know, the "Brown Shirts." Or maybe he wants to go straight to the Schutzstaffel, the "SS." Are those of us on the right the only ones that ever read books? Or that watched the Nazi shows on the History Channel instead of their "Search for Bigfoot" or "Roswell Uncovered" shows? Or that can think for ourselves?

Okay, maybe the chili was a little thick

Made chili the other day. Had some silly chili cook-off at work. I'm not known for my chili, but I figured, what the heck. And, of course, it came in last or something. The Wife isn't a big fan of my chili, either. She says it's too thick for her ... comfort, taste, something. Hers is lots ... LOTS ... thinner than mine. She thinks mine's too thick. I understand now. While watching the Georgia-Florida game today (don't say a word!), I decided it was time for chili. Good comfort food. So, I got up, went to the fridge, and pulled out the half-full pot of chili. A case (24 cans) of drinks was sitting sideways, up against the pot, with the plastic still on and a couple of cans out. Think one of those cases of Winn-Dixie drinks. 'Cause that's what it was. One came out and rolled off the shelf, bounced, hit the bottom lip on the fridge, and rolled out to the floor. I made an attempt to ... I don't know ... stop it, make it go back in time, something. That's when I dropped the chili. The lid bounced off, and the pot ended up ... upside down on the floor. Great. Just frickin' great. I shook my head, bent down, grabbed the handles, and picked up the pot, expecting the worst. Nothing. The chili was defiantly clinging to the bottom of the pot. Nothing on the floor. A half-full pot of chili was still half-full of chili. Thh Wife is right: My chili is too thick. Thank goodness.

Obama cars

The other day, I wondered about what would happen if the Obamabots actually took the day off to campaign for him.

I figured nobody would notice.

But, I'm now thinking I would notice.

There'd be nothing but American cars in the lot.

You see, I noticed some bumper stickers and window stickers on cars in some of the parking lots in Columbus (that's Columbus, Georgia, by the way).

Most of the Obama stickers are on foreign cars. Or toaster-looking cars.

Most of the McCain stickers are on American cars or trucks. Mostly Chevrolet, by the way.

Now, this isn't to say that all foreign car drivers support Obama. Nor that all Obama supporters drive foreign cars. Or that all American car owners vote McCain. Or... well, you get the idea. I'm not saying one equals the other. I owned a foreign car in the past. Once.

But I noticed that there appears to be a relationship. From the vehicles I've seen, most Obama stickers are on foreign cars, and most McCain stickers are on American cars.

I wonder why that is?

Of course I should have looked in the coffee maker if I wanted to find the corn chips

Saturday morning. November 1st, 2008. 10:24 AM. I've got the munchies. No, not because of THAT. Because, well, I like to munch on snacks. So, I look in the kitchen and find a bag of corn chips. A brand new bag of corn chips. But didn't I buy two bags the other day? Yep. Sure did. So, where's the other bag? Oh, I remember. We got in from work last night and were getting ready to go the the (high school) football game. The Wife asked me to fix her some chili. I had cooked chili the night before -- for a chili cookoff at work (I came in, like, last or something) -- and had lots left over. So, I dipped her out a bowl, nuked it, put the bowl on a plate and gave it ... and a new bag of corn chips ... to her. But that was last night. Did she eat the whole 9-3/4 ounce bag of Fritos? No, of course not. So, at 10:24 this morning, I asked her where the other bag was. She paused, thought for a second, then said "Look in the coffee maker." Well, of course. Corn chips in the coffee maker. I should have known. And, sure enough, there was the rest of the bag of chips. I, um... Well, um... Hmmm... (ahem) I'm, uh, not sure what to say. But at least now I know where she stashes her corn chips. I'm thinking she's got some squirrel in her. Or chipmunk. Maybe just a little. UPDATE: "If you'd made me coffee when you got up this morning, you'd have found the damn chips yourself." Yes, she needs her coffee.

Why I {heart} Sarah Palin

If the results are to be believed, I agree with Sarah Palin 82% of the time. Oh, and I agree with John McCain 74% of the time. Obama, Biden, Clinton? Not even close.

Friday, October 31, 2008

The purge begins

Home stretch

Barack Obama walked into the room, looking left, then right, then straight ahead. "Over here, sir," said the security agent. Obama looked nervously to each side again, then proceeded in the direction the man indicated. Taking his seat, he shuffled the papers in front of him as those standing around the table slowly took their seats. "What's first?" Obama asked. "Well, sir, the push in these next few days will be the opinion of the world," said the man on his left. "The world? You mean this planet?" Obama asked. "World opinion, sir. We want to show how much world opinion matters," the man said. "Yeah, that'd be a great idea," Obama said. "Uh-oh. Do we know how the world feels? I mean, have we sent anyone there to find out? And how long would a trip there take? Can we get the information back in time?" The man paused, his mouth going dry. He licked his lips. "Uh, yes, sir, we've already received the results. And the world loves you, sir." "Oh, goodie! I'd like to go there one day. To they speak English there? On TV, all the planets speak English. But I don't know if I can believe everything I see on TV," Obama said. "Except for infomercials. They're great. I want a Bowflex. Oh, and one of those Inside-the-Egg Scramblers. Kwanzaa is coming up, you know!" "Yes, sir. But if we can get back to the polls..." "Why do we care what the Poles think? Aren't they stupid? I saw that on TVLand. Archie called Mike a "dumb Polack" and everybody laughed," Obama said. "No, sir, we're talking about opinion polls. The world wants you to be elected president," the man said. "Okay, then tell them they've got to vote on Tuesday. Tell them I need their support." "Um, sir, people from other countries don't vote in the U.S elections." "Well, why not?" Obama asked. "Do you mean that the French, the Italians, the Iranians, the Canadians, the Russians, the Chinamen, the Koreans, the British, the English, the Anglos, none of them get to vote? That's not fair!" "Well, we do have several voting in Ohio, so that helps a little," the man offered. "Okay then. So, the plan is to tell America that we've got foreigners voting for me in the election and they need to vote for me too?" Obama asked. "I like that." "Oh, no. No, sir. We don't mention that to anyone. It's ... um ... it's a secret, sir." "Ah. I see. Spies," Obama said. "Where from? Germany? Lapland? Moldavia? Seton Hall?" "Um, sure. Anyway, we want to tell America that we can return America to its days of prestige and leadership by electing you," the man explained. "Oh, okay. Right. I get it," said Obama. "We show our leadership by doing what everyone else does. That's brilliant!" "Um, yes, sir." Obama thought for a minute. "What about Iraq? Can we talk about how bad it is that we went into Iraq?" "Oh, of course, sir." The man added, "Iraq is one of our strongest issues. We need to keep hitting about how terrible going into Iraq was. And that we need to get out as soon as possible. Immediately. Or sooner." "Yeah," Obama said. "I bet the Iraq people want me to be president, don't they?" The man stuttered, "Uh, uh, we... um, uh, well, um, actually, more Iraqis support McCain." "Maybe I need to go to Iraqiland and campaign there," Obama offered. "I'm sure we could convince them that it'd be better if I won. And call them racist if they don't support me. That works here. It'd work in Iraqiland, wouldn't it?" "Actually, sir, it's better to just call it 'Iraq.' And we probably don't want to bring up how the Iraqi people really feel. We just need to say we need to leave Iraq," the man said. "I got an idea," Obama said. "Let's tell them that we'll not only leave Iraq, but we'll put it back like we found it. Do we know who was president in Iraq before Bush attacked them? We could find him and put him back in charge. The Iraqis would love that, I'm sure. That way, it'd be just like we never attacked them." The man paused for a second before responding. "Let's just leave that part out, sir." "Well, okay," Obama said. "You know best." "Good. Thank you, sir. Time to get back on the campaign trail. You and Michelle have an appearance tonight in Iowa." Obama shuddered for a second. "She scares me." "Me, too," the man said. "Me, too."

The Fairness Doctrine

Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) has, for the most part, supported many of the policies of President Bush. Not all the time, but most of the time.

The Obama campaign has used this against McCain in the election. And that's fair. It's not as it's being presented, but still, McCain's support of many of the President's policies is a fair issue.

So let's talk fair.

You've heard of the "Fairness Doctrine," I'm sure. It was generally applied by the "Equal Time" rule, though that in and of itself was not the "Fairness Doctrine."

However, the "Equal Time" rule that many broadcasters applied was generally good enough to meet FCC policies (the "Fairness Doctrine"). Heck, I even used it once to ask for -- and receive -- equal time to respond to an editorial on my hometown radio station back in the 1970s.

Either way, it meant that if you presented one side of a controversial argument, you had an obligation to present the other side. Not equal time, but an opposing view nonetheless.

Many on the left want to bring the Fairness Doctrine back. But whether or not it's brought back isn't actually the topic.

It's the general idea of fairness.

Like I said, McCain's support of the policies of Bush is a fair issue. My own take is that, if George W. Bush and John S. McCain agree on something, it's probably a good thing. But that's just me.

Let's consider what else is fair.

How about ... the policies of Barack Obama?

Since he has such a short resumé, you don't have as much to look at. So, when you look at what's there, you better look close.

And that's why Obama's votes to raise taxes on those making $42K a year is important. It's not what he's preaching right now, but it's what he's done. I choose to believe what a man has done more that what he says. His votes to raise taxes are fair game.

And, because his record is so small, you have to look closely at all kinds of things to figure out just who this guy is.

As for McCain, I have a friend that used to live in Arizona. She says that well before he came into the national spotlight, he was just like he is today. Like him or hate him, he's honest and is straight with you, not telling you what he thinks you want to hear, but what he thinks you need to hear.

Obama? He's saying things that don't match up to his record.

He's denied a relationship with Bill Ayers, but that doesn't match the facts. And that question is fair.

Obama says he doesn't want to raise your taxes, but he wants to eliminate the Bush tax cuts that will ... get this ... have the effect of raising your taxes. And that's a fair topic.

Obama wants to "spread the wealth around" ... and that's socialism, plain and simple. And that's a fair topic for discussion.

Obama has called the U. S. Constitution a "fundamentally flawed" document. Not a document that contains flaws that can be corrected by amendments, but "fundamentally flawed." His statements are a fair topic for discussion.

I could go on and on. And probably will. Just not right now.

If anyone wants to institute a "fairness doctrine," it should begin with a fair look at Barack Obama.

Anyone American who takes a fair look at Barack Obama will be appalled by what he sees.