Saturday, August 29, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-08-29

  • Wife just took clothes out of the dryer... and took them to the kitchen. I think I'm gonna head to the Waffle House for breakfast. #

Friday, August 28, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-08-28

  • The good thing about having lots of meetings is the Twitter time between them. #
  • I'm thinking this whole thinking thing is way overrated: brain.setting(off) #
  • Yes, you can run Mac OSX 10.5 "Leopard" on a Dell Mini 9 http://sml.vg/07XknH #
  • To find out how conservatives really feel about liberals, wait until you hear what they say when J K Galbraith or Arthur Schlesinger die. #

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-08-27

  • Don't think of Ted Kennedy jokes as beating a dead horse, but rather as beating a dead horse's ass. #tcot #
  • Boy, I'm glad Ted Kennedy waited until the Twitter came out to die. Otherwise, I would've missed an untold number of Kennedy jokes. #tcot #

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Ted Kennedy Jokes

Frank J., despite having a wicked sense of humor, has class. Or as close to what passes for class when it comes to bloggers. He was no fan of the Edward Moore Kennedy, late of Massachusetts. But, when he got word of Kennedy's death, he wrote a post where he encouraged his readers to "try to have good memories about (Kennedy) right now. ... And try and think of something nice to say about Ted for the comments (no joke)." While Frank J. decided to allow for kind words about the late Senator, I have no such class. I heard many say "let's think about his family." Well, how far do you go with that? Do you offer condolences to the family of Baitullah Mehsud? Of course not. And, no, I'm not saying Kennedy was as bad as a Taliban leader. But I think we agree there's a line. On one side of the line, you put things aside and offer condolences to the family. On the other side of the line, you wonder why they lived as long as they did. Kennedy's on the "lived too long" side of the line. But I didn't intend this to be a rant about how bad of a person Ted Kennedy was. Instead, I offer the other side of Frank's post: He asked for kind words. I'm asking for Ted Kennedy jokes. And I'll start. But first, here's the background on this Ted Kennedy joke. I heard it in either July or August, 1969. I had just turned 11, and this was one of the first "naughty" limericks I heard. Shortly after the Chappaquiddick incident, someone shared this with me:
There once was a Senator from Mass. Who wanted a new piece of a** He lucked up and found her He f**ked up and drowned her Now his chance to be president has passed
If you have a joke about Ted Kennedy, let's hear it. If it has any naughty words, do clean them up, if possible, or censor them, as I did above. Bring 'em on.

Thoughts for 2009-08-26

  • I wonder if Ted Kennedy will make it across the River Styx without drowning anyone. #tcot #
  • My south Georgia accent is so heavy, the little Alabama girl at the drive-thru thought I ordered a "fudge coffee" #
  • Some say when a person dies, we should think of the family. So, condolences to the family of Baitullah Mehsud. http://tinyurl.com/lf8uyx #
  • If the guy I just saw walking into a lawyer's office is going to sue over that haircut, I think he's got a case. #
  • Ted Kennedy was a trailblazer. He convened the first Death Panel on July 18, 1969 #
  • I'm seeing flags at half-staff? Did that jackass in the White House order that? For Ted Kennedy? #
  • Flags at half-staff just isn't enough. I'm going to half-submerge my car. #tcot #
  • Ted Kennedy. Dominick Dunne. Anybody heard from Jeff Goldblum? #

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-08-25

  • This whole "work" thing is starting to take up way too much of my time. However, the alternative is worse. #
  • White House: Swine Flu may kill 90,000 in the US http://tinyurl.com/ma3noyEspecially if Obamacare passes #tcot #
  • Veterans wrongly told they had fatal disease http://tinyurl.com/m23j9k No word on how many received end-of-life counseling #tcot #
  • Fidel Castro says racist right-wingers fight Obama http://tinyurl.com/nmhbp9When Castro criticizes you, you're doing something right #tcot #

Monday, August 24, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-08-24

  • It doesn't look like it, but trust me on this: MS-SQL is a four-letter word. #
  • Hanging around. Nothing to do but frown. SQL Server and Mondays always get me down. #
  • How wrong are you when Leon Panetta, of all people, is the good guy? http://bit.ly/39aVe #
  • Obama's approval rating improved by a point when he left the White House for vacation http://bit.ly/191w5c Imagine if he left for good! #
  • Pizza. The world's best comfort food. #

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-08-23

  • The only thing that beats having to come in to work at 2:00 AM on a Sunday is ... everything. #
  • Passing time, while the routers are upgraded. Listening to Honky Chateau. Still a great album after all these years. #
  • Router work is taking longer than scheduled. Honky Chateau done; Don't Shoot Me I'm Only The Piano Player is now passing the time. #
  • Okay, router upgrades are taking a lot longer than expected. Now, the Goodbye Yellow Brick Road album is passing the time. #
  • Got about half of what I needed to do done. I think I'll declare stalemate and go home. #
  • YIKES! I can see myself in the rear-view mirror. Too scary-looking even for the drive-thru. That means Waffle House for breakfast. #
  • Watching granddaughter watching Milo and Otis. At least all those kittens gave their lives for 75 minutes of enjoyment. #

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-08-22

Friday, August 21, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-08-21

  • It's Ramadan, and the president is going on vacation? http://bit.ly/10HUsh Hey, don't get mad at me; I didn't plan his schedule! #
  • Foreclosures and job losses up, income down http://bit.ly/ol15Y There's your Obama recovery #tcot #
  • Lt. William Calley apologizes for My Lai http://bit.ly/1dc68 #
  • Stephanopoulus: Americans worried Obama "getting in over his head" http://bit.ly/49v5a What? Someone with no experience can't do the job? #
  • Asian hornets invade France http://bit.ly/LRafr Pro-Hornet government eastablished at Vichy #
  • High school football kicks off locally tonight. Nephew is playing again this year. And, maybe, more playing time. #
  • End of 1st quarter. No score in nephew's football game. Team looks okay. Need more cowbell. #
  • Game halted on account of lightning. Weather don't look good. BlackBerry getting rained on... #
  • Obama leaves Washington for vacation http://bit.ly/xnMwO Ramadan vacation begins http://bit.ly/KoCQZ #

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-08-20

  • The only raisin bran (my favorite cereal since childhood) the cafeteria has is Fiber One. Which has a sh*tload of fiber. So to speak. #
  • Firms with Obama ties profit from health push http://tinyurl.com/ll32jy But it's okay, since none are Halliburton #
  • How many families of fallen soldiers has Obama met with? And where are those that criticized Bush about this? #
  • The iPod has 1,365 songs. Only took several weeks to listen to them all. Just finished. Now, to do it again. #
  • Whit House admits collecting data http://tinyurl.com/nxs2n7 How long before the collected data magically "disappears"? #
  • "All 'wee-weed' up?" http://bit.ly/15SYHK Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? #

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-08-19

  • I see Don Hewitt's 60 minutes of fame are up #
  • Consulting firms tied to Obama, top adviser profit from push for health care overhaul http://bit.ly/Msumr Follow the money #
  • Bob Novak. Don Hewitt. Waiting on number three. #
  • Bill Becomes Dangerous Category 4 Hurricane http://bit.ly/2GplT0 After all these years, Bill is the one blowing. #
  • Cash for Clunkers is a clunker: N.Y. Dealers Pull out of Clunkers Program http://bit.ly/Z3izH How much to trade in Obama, Biden, et al? #
  • Life expectancy in US reaches all-time high http://bit.ly/19V2tl More proof for Obama that he must have death panels #
  • Forbes rates German Chancellor Angela Merkel as "most powerful woman" http://bit.ly/17on7e Took spot following Michael Jackson's death #
  • Court says Nazi slogan is legal in English http://bit.ly/ZorOF "Ja wir k√∂nnen" to once again be mindlessly chanted. #

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-08-18

  • "Public option" by any other name is still socialized medicine. #tcot #
  • Trolls. That's about all I got to say about that. #
  • I wonder why the two spots closest to the door at the Walgreens aren't reserved. Did some healthy person sue? #
  • Dr Pepper bottles shaped like Coca-Cola bottles? http://sml.vg/urVqjJ #
  • Michael Jackson still hasn't been buried http://bit.ly/jd3cF Taken this long to round up all the parts #
  • Florida population drops for the first time in 63 years http://biy.ly/1E7LP Death panel trial run is working. #
  • Dogs that killed Georgia couple to be put down http://bit.ly/12pEwl Michael Vick will do the honors during Eagles' visit to Atlanta #
  • Hell has let out the day shift, based on how traffic is this afternoon. #
  • Third fatal incident at Disney World in two months http://bit.ly/FSLb4 New theme area opens: Cemeteryland #
  • If the Constitution were written today in the same style as the "health care" bill ...http://bit.ly/158HXT #

Trolls

Trolls. Those are the little sh*theads that visit blogs, chat rooms, and message boards just to be ... well, sh*theads. As much as I despise spammers, I think I despise trolls even more. Now, when I say "trolls," I do not mean comments of opposing views. Many blogs accept comments. And bloggers don't always seek positive comments. Opposing views are often welcome at blogs. But there's a difference between voicing opposing views and trolling. If you don't know the difference, you're probably a troll. Trolls don't leave honest, thoughtful comments. Trolls want to take over your post, or even your blog. The term "troll," in case you weren't familiar, comes from the act of trolling, or traveling from place to place looking for something. Like trolling for fish on a lake, or trolling for a hookup at nightclubs. Internet trolls usually go from place to place (Website to Website) making a nuisance of themselves -- mostly because they live in their mom's basement and always strike out when trolling nightclubs. Then, there's the image of the trolls, like in mythology. Or Children's stories. Like the evil little creatures that live under bridges and fight the Three Billy Goats Gruff. That is applicable, too, because of the unpleasant nature of Internet trolls. Conservative blogs get trolls, usually liberals, but not always. Sometimes a conservative who happens to disagree about a certain point (Ron Paul!) will go from conservative blog to conservative blog -- trolling -- leaving comments (Ron Paul 2012!!1!!). Some call it "drive-bys," and while that's accurate, it is trolling at its purest. Sometimes, they'll hang around for a bit, but often, conservative trolls will do drive-bys on conservative blogs. Then, there are the liberal trolls. They will also do the drive-by, or traditional trolling. But often, they'll hit a conservative blog and try to hijack a post. Often, they'll post long missives, hitting all their talking points, usually off the topic of the post. Say, a post is about Obamacare; they'll write 17 paragraphs on Global Warming™ in the comments. And that's the thing about trolls, particularly liberal trolls. They want your stuff. Let me explain. Blogs that have their own domain name? We pay money for those. We also have hosting fees. In other words, we're paying for the existence of the blog. But, we don't have to. For instance, two of the largest blogging services, Blogger and WordPress.com let anyone -- even loudmouth liberals -- start a blog for free. Why is that important? Because if a troll really has a bunch of important stuff to say, he can start his own blog rant to his heart's content. For free. Yes, for free. And, for trolls, that's not enough. They can't be happy with using their own blog -- a blog that costs them nothing. They want to use your Website ... that you paid for ... to spread their message. They want to use your domain name ... that you paid for ... to spread their message. They want to use your Website's bandwidth and disk space ... that you paid for ... to spread their message. Getting something for free isn't enough. They want more than that. They don't just want it for free, they want to take away what's yours. It's the way trolls are. It's the way liberals are.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-08-17

  • White House says they didn't know about names on email list http://bit.ly/axmqE I believe them when they say they don't know what's going on #
  • Chavez says Obama "lost in space" on Latin America http://tinyurl.com/lpdjwl Oh, the pain. The pain. #
  • First, surrender on "public option." http://bit.ly/14Aeo6 Then the flag email address is down http://is.gd/2lhia Standing firm works? #
  • If Obama wants to run health care like the post office, does this mean we'll have both a ZIP Code and an RIP Code? #tcot #
  • Can Obama ride a bicycle backwards? Just wondering. #
  • When White House says they've given up on "public option," here's what they really mean: http://bit.ly/lvaQ1 #
  • Actual headline: "Swedish lesbians suck sperm banks dry" http://is.gd/2lxnS #
  • I need to find a spider stick. I don't like spiders. And there's one in the mailbox. And I've got mail. I need a spider stick. #
  • Don Surber: "Obamacare exempts unions, congressmen and veterans. And yet it is so wonderful for the rest of us…" http://bit.ly/2OD7ol #tcot #

Street cred

One of these politicians is known as a racist. But, in reality, they have a lot in common.
Barack ObamaLester Maddox
Let me explain.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-08-16

  • Obama's biggest regret about his grandmother's death? That she died before he got to bring her before an Obamacare Death Panel. #
  • 10 of 11 of AJC's "Super 11" state high school football players are black.http://bit.ly/sB5Du If AJC wasn't liberal, that would be racist. #
  • Megan Fox says she wants to eat high school boys in new PSA…http://bit.ly/11VtcU High school enrollments reach all-time high #
  • British Pools Impose Muslim Dress Codes on All Swimmers http://bit.ly/j8r3lOne-way tolerance expands again #
  • White House gives in on "public option" http://bit.ly/YPNA7 Is anyone surprised that the Surrender Monkeys surrendered? http://bit.ly/L536t #
  • The motto of the moderate wing of the Republican Party is “Thank You Sir May I Have Another.” #tcot #

Surrender monkeys surrender. Or did they?

Remember that whole government-run health care bill? You should. It's been in all the papers. And on all the blogs. And on the Twitter and the Facespace and all the other Interwebz. Remember how important it was that it be done now? "Why the rush?" we on the right asked. "Trust us," the left said. "BS!" we on the right said. Well, conservatives stood firm. Most of them. Those that haven't, well, I'm not too sure they're conservatives, anyway. Might be Republicans, but that don't mean conservative. Now, according to news reports, the White House seems to have backed down. "Seems to," is the key phrase. It's too early to tell if they have surrendered, or if they're just going to find another "Gang of 14" and ram it through anyway. On the one hand, Democrats are cheese-eating surrender monkeys: On the other hand, Democrats are also sneaky little weasels. And "moderate" Republicans will "go along to get along," and be taken advantage of. That's why the motto of the moderate wing of the Republican Party is "Thank You Sir May I Have Another." Remember how, in Iraq, some of Saddam's soldiers would fake surrender, then pull out weapons and shoot our soldiers? That's because they had no honor. And neither do Democrats. So, we shouldn't let up just yet. Government-run health care isn't dead until it's shot, stabbed, beaten, burned, with the ashes mixed in goat blood and fed to Ted Kennedy and John Dingell, and the whole thing videoed and posted on YouTube. Even then, I don't trust the Democrats. Or moderate Republicans. They'll just write another bill that's as bad. Or worse. Or nearly as bad. The thing is, they won't write a good bill. Any bill that's too long to sit through an oral reading is a bad bill. The thing people are forgetting is that 10% of health care expenses are criminal fraud. And unintentional errors accounts for more waste. Until that's fixed, increasing government spending on health care will increase the amount of money lost to fraud. Of course, when you have a government run by Chicago crooks, they don't see fraud as a problem, but as an opportunity to line their pockets. The good news is, these types won't stand up to an honest fight. They'll fight dirty, but can't stand honest debate. As long as the fight is honest, the right (moral and political) will win. And the surrender monkeys? They'll just sit and yell and fling poo. Like always.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-08-15

  • Obama interviewed by 11-year-old http://bit.ly/12emBn Now we can finally learn the answer: Is Obama smarter than a 5th grader? #tcot #

Gosh, GOP, sometimes you make it so difficult to take you seriously

A few weeks ago, I got a "Second Notice" from the Republican party. As I mentioned then, I've never been a member of the Republican party -- or any political party, for that matter. So, why do they send me things that are written as if I'm a Republican? Probably because I sent money to two presidential candidates (Fred Thompson, then John McCain) this past election cycle. Or, so I thought. Turns out that there may be another reason. What's that reason, you ask? I'm glad you asked. The reason seems to be: they're idiots. Or incompetent. Or incompetent idiots. Suffering from idiotic incompetence. Why would I say such a thing? I'm glad you asked. Even though it does seem that you ask a lot of questions. I got another letter from the Republicans. Yay! This one, though, is not just a "SECOND NOTICE," as was the last one proclaimed in big red letters. This one came in one of those envelopes wit a big window on the front. Like you get from, oh, maybe the IRS or something. And, it came with "OFFICIAL REPUBLICAN PARTY DOCUMENT - DO NOT DESTROY" above my address, clearly visible though the envelope. And, it contained
NOTICE: This SURVEY DOCUMENT IS REGISTERED IN YOUR NAME and must be accounted for upon completion of this project. If you choose not to participate in this crucial Republican Senate Leadership Survey, return this Survey Document at once using the postage-paid envelope provided.
Well, now. Isn't that just special. And, the pages of the form remind me of a Form 1040. And, at the end, there was a place where I could fill out how much money I'd send them. Just like a Form 1040. I haven't received such an official document since Ed McMahon died. Now, I certainly appreciate the appearance that they really care about what I think. But, I did a little checking on the Interwebz, and find they've been doing silly stuff like this for a bit. And, the thing is, they've been sending these out for years. And to many, many left-wing idiots. Now, that makes me wonder: are they still just mailing stuff out to people that they don't know who they are? Probably. But, let's imagine they've worked out all the bugs about who they mail these things to. The whole "official document" thing and "do not destroy" thing is ... silly. Or scary. Depending on who does it, I suppose. For instance, suppose I mailed out a bunch of things like that, and you got one. You'd think I was silly. Then, suppose you lived in the Soviet Union in 1980, and got such a thing from The Party. Not so silly then. More scary. And that's the thing. The arrogance. Telling me I got to send this form back or account for it or something. Now, I'm thinking about doing a YouTube of me burning it or feeding it to a goat or something. This is why I'm not a Republican. I hang around smarter people than that. Which explains why I steer clear of Democrats, too. And why I throw Holy Water at Ron Paul supporters. I'm undecided about whether to do anything at all with this survey. Would my response really make a difference? Even if it didn't, if I thought this was a meaningful part of the process, I'd participate. So, what have I learned from this? Nothing. I already knew that the Republican party did silly stuff. Like help elect liberals and moderates, neither of which do anything useful. Anyway, they've now spent all the money I sent them, asking me to send them more money. If only they put that money into doing something useful.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-08-14

  • Maybe Obama told the truth. AARP has a Website supporting Obamacare and trashing debate: http://healthactionnow.org/ #
  • Why should the US trust anything the British say about socialized medicine? They don't even know on which side of the road to drive. #tcot #
  • Black Man Pleads Guilty to Posing as White Supremacist http://tinyurl.com/kjmf5z I wonder what gave him away? #
  • Trying to decide if I'm a mean evil person, or an evil mean person. Ex-wife says one, liberals say the other. #
  • IMAO: Except For The Crossed Lines In A Circle Topped By Bird Wings Floating Above The Countryside And Some ... http://tinyurl.com/bhonazi #
  • I don't believe Obama plans to destroy America. That flies in the face of all the evidence that shows he doesn't know what he's doing. #tcot #
  • Kennedy: We can go to the moon within 10 years; Obama: No we can't http://tinyurl.com/op946v #tcot #
  • The economy is doing so well that Colonial Bank declared victory and went home http://bit.ly/1v9TE #tcot #
  • Man bites off doctor's fingertip http://bit.ly/1193Sp Under Obamacare, the patient would have been entitled to the entire finger #

Blazing Saddles if "socialist" was the the "N-word"

When it was reported last week that MSNBC's Carlos Watson start(ed) to wonder if socialist is the new N-Word, I was at a loss for words. Until today.

I read some tweets by Peter Schmugge directly addressed that. I told him I was stealing it.

With that said, I'm updating an old post.

Here is Blazing Saddles if "socialist" was the the "N-word"...

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-08-13

  • Oh, the looks you get from your wife when the girl at the drive-through calls you "Sweetheart." #
  • Someone just told me health care is a "right." Show me that in the U.S. Constutution. Or shut up. Either works. #
  • Hi, I'm not a doctor, but I play one in pro-Obamacare town hall meetings. #
  • Will Obamacare cover my computer if it gets a virus? #
  • NYC skateboarding pioneer Andy Kessler dies at 48 http://bit.ly/1ePOh7 How sad is it that some know Kessler but not Les Paul? #
  • "Fastest Dying Cities" meet for a talk http://tinyurl.com/nflany Let people die, but not cities? #
  • Talk show host talks about Obama getting shot. It's okay, though; he's a liberal. http://bit.ly/7fjUH #tcot #
  • Jobless claims rise, sales fall (even with Cash For Clunkers-aided auto gains) http://bit.ly/mud7J #tcot #

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Harold and Kumar weigh in on Obamacare

If Obamacare passes and I have to go to the hospital, I'd have to wait until 2258 to finally see my doctor.* Dude, if I was a doctor under Obamacare, I'd shoot myself.* If we'd have had Obamacare when I was younger, today, I would be Todd Bridges.

Thoughts for 2009-08-12


  • Wait! Didn't we use to have "hospitalization" insurance? When did it suddenly become "health care?" #tcot #

  • I would like to thank all my Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender Twitter followers. You straight white guys, not so much. #

  • Iraq book ban raises fears of free speech clampdown http://tinyurl.com/labxvk Try to imagine this headline being possible under Saddam #tcot #

  • Judge bans sale of MS Word 2003 and 2007 effective in 60 days http://bit.ly/11HHwG I wonder how that order will be written? #

  • Shape-Shifting Gel Condom Changes From Liquid to Solid http://tinyurl.com/krcp54 Stays hard longer than you do #

  • Sen. Debbie Stabenow (D-MI) can feel global warming when she flies http://bit.ly/53QEI Bring her a chicken, and she'll tell your future #

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-08-11


  • Brooks and Dunn are breaking up? http://is.gd/2bIN0 Has anybody asked Hillary what Bill thinks about it? #

  • It's no coincidence that the symbol of the Democrat party is a jackass #

  • Wanna-be redneck. A real redneck woulda used duct tape, not shipping tape. http://sml.vg/kKZv9e #

  • Congressman who shouted down constituent finds swastika painted on office sign http://bit.ly/2SWzlN #

  • When Obama promised transparency, maybe he meant we'd be able to see right through his lies. #tcot #

  • How long would it take to key the health care bill in to the teleprompter so Obama can read it? #tcot #

  • If there were any more plants at an Obama event, it would look like that Outer Limits episode http://bit.ly/NekXp #

  • The Dow was down today. Was the president on TV or something? #tcot #

  • POTUS falsely claims AARP supports Obamacare http://bit.ly/miHqU Figured they wouldn't remember #tcot #

Reasons to let the government run things

The president had it "Town Hall" photo-op today. And he used the opportunity to explain how the government health care plan is a great idea:



[direct link]

Note where he said, “U.P.S. and FedEx are doing just fine. It’s the post office that’s always having problems.

My fears are now allayed: I'm thrilled to hear that government-run health care will be as efficient as the post office. And that's according to the president.

Your hard-earned money will be collected from your paycheck via taxes, and sent to finance a program that will be run like the post office.

Let me say that I have a brother-in-law that works for the post office. He's a good guy. And most of the postal workers I've met are good people, too. I say that so they won't ... well ... go postal on me.

Anyway, the president has convinced me. We need to have government-run health care. And the post office example sold me.

But, there are some of you, I'm sure, that aren't yet convinced. So, as a loyal American (who doesn't what to be flagged), I present other reasons to let the government run health care. Here are things that will present excellent examples of how government-run organizations (regardless of the level of government) operate:


  • Amtrak

  • The quality of public schools

  • The NEA funding of porn

  • The DMV

  • Oil for Food

  • Paying farmers to not grow crops

  • Student visas

  • The TSA

  • FEMA

  • The IRS


If these examples don't show you just how wonderful a government-run health care system will be, I don't know what will convince you.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-08-10


  • How can the GOP organize Obamacare protests when they can't organize a sock drawer? #tcot #

  • When I first heard the phrase "birthers," I thought it meant people opposed to abortion. #

  • When you believe your own lies, you look like an ass. Evidence: Rep. David Scott (D-GA) http://bit.ly/lyv4p #tcot #

  • Verizon honored the 1-year warranty on my BlackBerry case. Yay! #

  • UK shoppe to sell Viagra ice cream http://bit.ly/10EZj3 Not available in soft serve #

  • "History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid." -- Dwight David Eisenhower #

  • "How fortunate for governments that the people they administer do not think." -- Hitler #

Six Flags



Hi there! You may know me from the Six Flags amusement parks. But today, I'm here to tell you about the new government flags program. Sounds like fun, huh?



The Obama administration and the Democratic party are looking out for your best interests. And it all begins with health care.



The administration knows what's best. And the best thing for you is to help push the health care bill through the Congress.



But, you know what? There are swastika-carrying people that are showing up, doing un-American things like asking questions and protesting that representatives are going against the will of the people.



To help us, here's what you can do: report them!



Yes, simply send an email to flag@whitehouse.gov. It's that easy! And fun!



If you know someone who opposes health care, whether it's speaking out against the president's proposal at the water cooler at work, or writing dissent on a blog, send us an email to flag@whitehouse.gov ... and we'll flag them!



Later, we'll expand the program to accepting emails to flag people about all kinds of things. When we're done, we'll have flags for:


  1. Opposing government health care

  2. Disagreeing with judicial appointments

  3. Protesting tax increases

  4. Speaking out against government takeovers of other industries

  5. Voicing opposition to Obama's initiatives

  6. Think bad thoughts


Sound like fun? Of course it does! It's F-U-N! Fun!



At the new Six Flags over America program, you'll be able to flag all your co-workers, neighbors, family members ... anyone who doesn't support the party line.



Yes, we put the F-U in FUN! Send emails of dissidents to flag@whitehouse.gov



Six Flags over America! More Flags! More fun!

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-08-09


  • How did I know that last night's Red Eye rerun would be the one with Patti Ann Browne? #

  • Tax free weekend in Alabama. To Auburn to help in-laws buy a computer for school. #

  • Huh. I've never dropped a ketchup bottle and had it wind up two tables over before. I may get banned by the Cracker Barrel. #

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-08-08

Friday, August 7, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-08-07


  • "Sometimes the most effective way to do something, is to do nothing." That's either the most profound or stupidest thing I've ever said. #

  • Man blames cat for downloaded child porn http://tr.im/vSlq Cat had typed in "young pussy." An honest mistake. #

  • TwitterBerry not working right. Tiny Twitter not working at all. I might have to work today. What's up with that? #

  • Do we finally have a nickname for Obama? Clinton = Bubba. Bush = Dubya. Obama = Joker? #

Cash For Cadavers


THUNK


CLANK

Bring out your dead!


CLANK

Bring out your dead!


CLANK

Bring out your dead!


THUNK


CLANK

Bring out your dead!


Here's one


I'm not dead


What?


Nothing. Where's my $4,500?


He says he's not dead.


Yes he is.


He isn't.


Well, he will be soon.


I'm getting better.


No you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment.


I can't take him. It's against regulations.


The program is C.O.R.P.S.E. That's the Cadaver and Older Retired Person System for Exchange. It's commonly called Cash for Cadavers, but I read the bill. You can take old retired people.


Look, I'm booked up. I've got to stop by the Robinsons. They lost nine waiting for the new government health care. Yes, I can take old people, but the already dead get priority.


When will you be back?


Thursday.


I can't wait till then. Can you help me out.


CLUNK


Sign here


Thanks!


Bring out your dead!

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-08-06


  • What!! None of my exciting posts from Six Flags over Georgia came through today? Damn you, hackers!! #

Swastikas and symbols like that

Nancy Pelosi has uncovered that Nazis are behind the protests at health care town hall meeting (tip: Wizbang):



[Direct link]
Interviewer: Do you think there's legitimate grassroot opposition going on here?

Pelosi: "I think they're Astroturf... You be the judge. "They're carrying swastikas and symbols like that to a town meeting on healthcare."

"Symbols like that?" That means it's not just the Nazis, but other groups that the Democrats feel are just like Nazis.

"Who?" you ask. I'm glad you asked.

Cross
Christians

Star of David
Jews

Walmart vest
Wal-mart workers

New York Yankees hat
Sports fans

Medic Alert
Diabetics

Be a good Democrat. If you see anyone wearing hate symbols like these, report them. They are dangerous.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-08-05


  • I find that when I try to be clever, I'm usually just obnoxious. But the effect on my targets is the same, so it's all good. #

  • When Squeaky was young, she cared about trees enough to shoot at Ford. Now, she's 60. Do you think health care is on her mind? #

  • Not a very productive day at work. However, since that was my goal, it was a very productive day at work. #

  • I just want to know where I can buy one of those Obama/Joker t-shirts. #

  • Stopped at Winn-Dixie for a head of lettuce. Spent $61.98 ... and didn't get a head of lettuce. #

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-08-04


  • Busy weekend. Busy week. So why not go to Six Flags instead? #

  • Got a Flash Pass for 6. Not as crowded today, so probably a waste of money. #SixFlags #

  • You meet the most interesting people in line. If by "interesting" you mean "scary crazy" #SixFlags #

  • A handful of game tokens is a very nice, polite way to say "leave me the hell alone." #SixFlags #

  • Okay, the lines have really picked up. Flash Pass was a good idea. #SixFlags #

  • Six Flags can't get a sign right. Folks paying for Flash Pass are being skipped. The hire the incompetent program works http://sml.vg/CjlkoH #

  • Now the Scream Machine is stuck. With family on board. #SixFlags http://sml.vg/PDPPl6 #

  • Now, to find the sign that reads "The Hell Outta Dodge." #SixFlags #

In Plain Sight


In Plain Sight. Next, on USA.


Mary, we got a problem.


Oh, really? A problem? How could we have a problem when all we do every day is deal with people, mostly criminals, whose lives are in danger 24/7/365 and we, upstanding law enforecemtn officials are assigned to protect their sorry asses? A problem, Stan? Really?


See what happens when you try to play straight man? You'll never learn, will ya, boss?


You're gonna be involved with this one, too, Marshall, so cut the wisecracks and listen up.