Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Happy Birthday, Mr. President

Today is Barack Obama's birthday. At least that's what people are saying. Without a birth certificate, it's hard to know for sure. I blame the poor state of health care in Kenya in 1961.

Anyway, since he's up and walking around, we'll assume he does have a birthday, okay? I don't think he's a robot. Or a space alien. Although either of those would explain a lot.

No, I think he's a human. Or close enough, anyway. And, sure, I'll go along with today being his birthday.

Which means ... PARTY! Because everyone from Georgia is all about the party, right?

So, how do we celebrate Barack Obama's birthday?

I have some ideas:
  • Find an Arab king and bow to him.
  • Go on vacation. But not to the Gulf.
  • Blame Bush for any gray hairs I find.
  • Spend a trillion dollars. After all, it's also Wednesday!
  • Order the most expensive item on the menu, then, if they bring me a bill, tell the waitress she's racist.
  • If she's White, tell her she's racist anyway.
  • Call Larry Sinclair, just for old time's sake.
  • Tax the rich.
  • Tax the poor.
  • Blame Bush for taxes going up.
  • Tell everyone on teh Twitters how awesome I am.
Those are my ideas. You have any suggestions?

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