Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Cain sounds like one of you people

Disclosure: I have financially contributed to the Herman Cain campaign.

There's a minor kerfuffle going on about something that Herman Cain said. It's widely reported that he said he couldn't support Rick Perry as the Republican nominee.


[Direct link]

Yep. That's what he said. And that bothers me.

You see, I've been going on and on about how, no matter who the GOP nominee is, we need to support him. And some of you get your panties all in a wad about that.

"I'm not ever going to support Mitt Romney!"

"I won't vote for Rick Perry!"

"If Sarah Palin isn't the nominee, I'm not voting!"

"If Sarah Palin is the nominee, I'm not voting!"

"Ron Paul is nuts!"

Okay, that last one is okay. But still, nuts as he is, he'd a darn sight better than Barack Obama. But some of you are saying you won't support this guy or that girl. Well, now Herman Cain sounds a lot like some of you people. Maybe he's pandering to the panties-in-a-wad crowd.

I don't care for that. I suspect Cain will backtrack, and soon. He'll come up with some statement that sounds like some crafted statement talking about how we can disagree about important issues, but still have the same overriding goal: defeat Barack Obama and return competence to the White House.

But what should have say? Or, better, what should he have said to Wolf Blitzer's question, "Could you support Rick Perry if he were the nominee?"
  • Against Obama? Of course. Hell, Wolf, I'd support you over Barack Obama.
  • I fully support Rick Perry for vice-president.
  • I would support Rick Perry if Zombie Reagan turned down the nomination.
  • Nine, nine, nine.
  • Not if he was the Democrat nominee. Has he switched back to being a Democrat?
  • That's a stupid question, Wolf. What do you think I'm going to say? That I wouldn't support Rick Perry? Do you think I'm nuts
What do you think Herman Cain should have said?

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Racist Reality ... Fixed!

Reality is racist. Just so you know.

Recently, the president gave a speech before the Congressional Black Caucus, and, as he is wont to do, he slipped into his "Hey-I'm-Black-Too" dialect. And, the Associated Press reported the actual words he used, as he used them:
Stop complainin'. Stop grumblin'. Stop cryin'.
And, for reporting what happened, the AP was accused of being racist by Karen Hunter on MSNBC:
Hunter called the AP's version "inherently racist," sparring with New Republic contributing editor and noted linguistics expert John McWhorter, who argued the g-less version "is actually the correct one," noting that the president's victory in the 2008 election was due, in part, to how effortlessly "he can switch into that [black] dialect."
To follow Hunter's demands to their conclusion, as Jeff Goldstein put it:
...they are now charged with re-writing history to protect the speaker from himself, lest they be charged with transcribing reality, once considered the most neutral of all activities (at least in intent and aim), an activity that now carries with it the charge of “inherent racism” if the reality being transcribed belongs to blacks, and non-blacks or inauthentic blacks are doing the transcribing.

Presumably, Ms Hunter, if pressed, might have to extend the argument to audio clips that capture the dropping of the g’s — themselves a secondhand recording of reality that have not been “corrected” of their “inherent racism.”
So, now that we know that reality is racist and we must protect ourselves from it, we present the video of the president's actual words, not as said, but as they must be to remove the charge of racism:


[Direct link]

Liberals have been living outside reality for a long, long time. Now, they want us to live outside it, too.

Monday, September 26, 2011

The Road Runner Show


Whatcha watchin'?


Cartoons.


Why aren't you watching the news?


This is more real.


I like the news.


...

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Who's gonna lose, week 4

After going a perfect 8-0 last week, I'm now 16-0 with my college football picks for the season, and look to extend my perfect record.

What's that? Oklahoma, Notre Dame, and Miami? I didn't get those games wrong. Florida State, Michigan, and Ohio State did. Like in the 2008 presidential election. I was right. 53% of America was wrong. So, my unblemished record remains.

This week, we'll look at the teams from Frank J's, Harvey's and my teams. Okay, maybe Harvey doesn't care that much about Wisconsin Badgers football. Still, we're looking at that game. Plus a few others.

And, as some of you might say, I can't pick the winners. So, I'll pick the losers. I seem to be as good at picking the losers as I am the winners, so here we go.

Tulsa vs Boise State (4)

This season, the Golden Hurricane has beaten every team it's played that's not from Oklahoma. Boise isn't in Oklahoma. So, logically, Tulsa should win.

Just kidding, Frank J and Sarah K. Just kidding.

Who's gonna lose? Tulsa.

South Dakota vs Wisconsin (6)

Another tune-up game. South Dakota needs to get ready to face NAIA powerhouse Lindenwood next week. Or, maybe Wisconsin has to do something to get ready for next week's game with Nebraska. Whatever. The Coyotes just need to ride out this week's attack by the Badgers. But Harvey doesn't care.

Who's gonna lose? South Dakota.

North Carolina State vs Cincinnati

This week's prime time pillow fight features the Wolfpack -- who have beaten two pushovers but lost to another ACC school -- and the Bearcats -- who have beaten two pushovers but lost to an SEC school. Losing to an ACC school is worse than losing to an SEC school. So North Carolina State is the worse team. I sure hope those rumors about NC State being one of the possibilities for being the SEC's 14th team aren't true.

Who's gonna lose? North Carolina State.

Central Florida at Brigham Young

BYU smacked an SEC school its first time out this season. But it was Mississippi. And they've since lost 2 in a row. Central Florida, meanwhile, won two games big, and lost last week close. But, like this game, none of that matters in this week's "Isn't Anything Else On" game.

Who's gonna lose? Central Florida.

Arkansas (14) vs Alabama (3)

This battle in the SEC west will be a fun game to watch. Alabama is good. But so is Arkansas. Just not as good. Arkansas will win the SEC West some year. But they'll be hard-pressed to win this matchup this week on CBS.

Who's gonna lose? Arkansas.

Oklahoma State (7) vs Texas A&M (8)

ABC has this game. I wish I cared. But I don't. Except that Texas A&M might actually become an SEC team next year. I'll care then.

Who's gonna lose? Oklahoma State.

Florida State (11) vs Clemson (21)

The undefeated Kitties from Death Valley play host to a bunch of Wild Indians from North Florida in a big ACC matchup of ranked teams. After getting run over by a Sooner Schooner last week, Jimbo Fisher will try to get his patched-up tribe ready to face the sharp claws of Dabo Sweeney's Orange Tabbies. The Tigers will get a few licks in, but the Seminoles are just too tough.

Who's gonna lose? Clemson.

LSU (2) vs West Virginia (16)

In the day's final matchup of ranked teams, Les Miles and his Bayou Bengals travel to Morgantown, West Virginia to face Dana Holgorsen's Hillbillies in a face-off between the best of the Big East and the best of the SEC.

Lots of pundits are calling for the Mountaineers to upset the Tigers. I'm not lots of pundits.

Who's gonna lose? West Virginia.

North Carolina vs Georgia Tech (25)

Paul Johnson's flexbone offense put up the most yardage in Georgia Tech NCAA history last week as they crushed Kansas. 768 yards of total offense, including 604 on the ground. That's a lot. But, in an asterisk, isn't the most Tech has put up ever. They had 1,420 yards rushing in their 222-0 win back in 1916, before there was an NCAA.

North Carolina, meanwhile, has rolled to 3 straight wins, and is looking to paint Atlanta some girly-looking blue. A win by the Tar Heels would go a ways towards removing the "interim" form Everett Withers's title.

Unless the Yellow Jackets revert to the Humble Bumbles we've come to expect and shake our heads at, that high school offense of Tech will be unstoppable. Plus, their defense is getting better. They're not there yet, but they're getting there.

Who's gonna lose? North Carolina.

Georgia vs Mississippi

The last-place team in the SEC East travels west to face the last-place team in the SEC West. This is definitely a "who cares" game. Except for Ole Miss and Georgia fans.

This game will help determine who gets fired first: Houston Nutt or Mark Richt. Then, there's the Boise State connection. Nutt used to be the head coach at Boise State. Richt will be Boise State's next head coach, maybe next year.

Mississippi isn't as bad as they looked against Vanderbilt, but they are bad. Georgia isn't as good as they looked against Coastal Carolina. But they're good. Okay, maybe not good, but okay. And okay beats bad.

Who's gonna lose? Mississippi.

Your games?

I may not have picked your games. In fact, I probably didn't. So, I'll fix that now.

Who's gonna lose? The team that's playing your team.

Like it should be.

Friday, September 23, 2011

The Briar Patch: Michael Moore

I know. You don't want to read anything else about the Troy Davis execution. But bear with me.

Everybody's favorite filmmaker -- if by "everybody's" you mean "every idiot's" -- Michael Moore is so upset about the execution that he's calling for a boycott of the state of Georgia.

My first thought was, "Promise?"

But the roly-polier-than-thou holier-than-thou director went one step further. Or two steps. Sort of.

He called for his publisher to pull his book, "Here Comes Trouble," from Georgia bookstores. Then he said he would “donate every dime of every royalty my book makes in Georgia to help defeat the racists and killers who run that state.”

Yes, he said that he doesn't want his book sold in Georgia, meaning no royalties from Georgia, and that he would donate those non-existent royalties to campaign against Georgia political leaders.

Governor Deal's spokesman Brian Robinson issued a response:
"We think it’s cute that he thinks anyone in Georgia would buy his book, but if any Georgian does, I’m happy to double the royalties and buy a pack of gum for a charity of Michael Moore’s choice."
I was never a fan of Nathan Deal. I might have to rethink that.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

One more last word...

Don't you hate it when all is said and done, someone says something or does something anyway?

The Troy Davis case is like that. And it's my turn. Again.

There were three main claims raised in the case of the man who killed Savannah police officer Mark MacPhail: 1) the evidence was flawed, 2) the death penalty is morally wrong, and 3) the sentence was racially motivated.

Let's dispense with the last item: race played a factor.

Actually, I covered this one yesterday. The jury that both convicted Davis and sentenced him to death included 7 blacks. From Savannah. That's a 58% black jury from a 57% black city. Georgia requires a unanimous jury recommendation for a death sentence. Which means all 12 jurors, including all 7 blacks on the jury, said both Davis did it, and deserved to die for it.

Now, lets look at the first item: the evidence was flawed.

Again, the jury saw different. And so did the appeals judges. All the various appeals judges over 20 years of appeals. And the state Board of Pardons and Paroles. Several different makeups of that board over 20 years. And the Supreme Court of the United States. Including liberals Kagan, Sotomayor, Breyer, and Ginsburg. This case didn't drag on because there were problems with the evidence, this case dragged on because lawyers kept claiming there were problems and judges gave time to schedule hearings and review those claims. The claims were wrong.

And, finally, the second point: the death penalty is immoral.

That's a value judgement. The other two items can be settled with facts and an honest assessment of those facts. This can't. But let's put some logic to it, shall we?

If you were opposed to the execution of Troy Davis because you're opposed to the death penalty, then you must have been opposed to the execution of Lawrence Brewer, which occurred last night, too.

Remember Lawrence Brewer? The guy that chained James Byrd behind a truck and dragged the man to death? Yes, Texas executed him last night.

If you opposed the death penalty, you opposed Brewer's execution, right? Then why were you silent? Why no outcry over that?

I'll tell you why: the outcry over Davis was simply because there were cameras and it was the cause of the day. Nothing more.

Don't worry. The celebrities and left-wing news lapdogs will continue to ignore the facts in the Davis case and spout the talking points. For a while. Then another fake cause will come along.

Where you won't see them? Atmore, Alabama. That's where Alabama is scheduled to execute Derrick Mason tonight for the 1994 death of Angela Cagle. Cagle was working as a convenience store clerk in Huntsville when she was murdered early one morning.

Why won't they be there? Because the Davis execution got all the attention. And there are more cameras in Jackson, Georgia than in Atmore, Alabama.

With the execution of Davis, the MacPhail family may finally get some peace. But probably not. It didn't bring Mark back to his wife and children.

Once thing's for certain: Troy Davis won't be pistol-whipping homeless people or shooting people in the face anymore.


Update: How does Troy Davis' hometown newspaper feel about the execution? Does the editorial's title, "Justice Prevails," give you a hint?

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Oh noes! Not Palin!

Now watch the left get their panties in a wad. Because Sarah Palin polls at 44% in a matchup with Barack Obama. That's according to a new McClatchy-Marist poll.

What does the new poll mean?

Depends on who you ask.

If you ask me -- you did ask me, didn't you? -- it means that almost as many people hate Barack Obama as hate Sarah Palin. Now, I can't tell you why they hate Sarah Palin. They can't either. Ask them, and they go, "Palin!!! Arrggghhh!! She's ... (spit) ... (slobber) ... (mumble) ... and Dan Quayle in a skirt!" Or something like that.

They've been programmed to hate her. So they do.

What else it means is that the programming isn't taking. Remember all that "Bush is evil" programming that people were spewing a while back. It's calmed down among most. Oh, sure, some still blame Bush for the economy, 9/11, and Pearl Harbor. Because stupid people have a way of living way too long and not shutting the hell up. But the "Gosh, I sure miss George Bush" sentiment is growing.

Palin is no Bush, but ...

Palin is no George W. Bush, but the "Hate Palin" programming is starting to wear off. Like in Dollhouse, where Echo didn't respond to imprints and wipes like they expected. Voters are turning Echo.

The poll also means that the left-wing media is about to go all out assailing Sarah Palin as ... well, whatever it is they've been told to say about her now.

And here's what it all means: while they're attacking Palin, they aren't quite as focused on Perry or Romney or Bachmann or Cain or whoever else is supposed to be in the crosshairs.

And that's a good thing.

Once again, we must say it. Come on. Say it with me. "Thank you, Sarah Palin."

Justice

Mark MacPhail,
murder victim
There's an execution scheduled in Georgia tonight. Georgia's certainly no Texas when it comes to meting out final justice, in speed or in volume. Georgia will keep the undertaker from going out of business, though.

Tonight (as of this writing) one more deserving character walks the last mile at the Georgia Diagnostic and Classification Center. His name is Troy Davis, and he's to die for the murder of a Savannah policeman.

I remember the case, because, in 1989, I was living near Savannah. I grew up in southeast Georgia, and Savannah is where we got most of the news. The Savannah Morning News was the daily paper. When we watched local TV, the closest was Savannah television. And, when we listened to the radio, outside of the local stations (in the same county), almost every other station was a Savannah station.

So, when Troy Davis shot and killed Mark MacPhail, I heard about it. And, when he was tried and convicted in the summer of 1991, I heard about it.

Seems simple, doesn't it. Young man, high school dropout (did get his GED, though), poor job attendance record, with a criminal record shoots and kills an off-duty policeman who was working security at a fast-food restaurant.

Here's where it gets ... interesting. Davis is black. MacPhail was white.

So, now you have the NAACP, Al Sharpton, and others protesting the upcoming execution. You have PBS talking about the case in a discussion on how race plays a role in death penalty cases. You have the Christian Science Monitor talking about "the impact of race on a jury in the Deep South."

None of these geniuses bother to consider that, of the 12 members of the jury that convicted Davis, 7 were black. That's right, a jury that's 58% black from a city that's 57% black convicted a black man. And the usual suspects are screaming race discrimination.

Why? Because MacPhail was white. Had be been black, like the other man Davis shot that night (but who survived) you wouldn't hear about any of this.

So, yes, it's racial. Only not like they're making it out to be.

Assuming all goes well, and the state carries out the execution tonight, should we be happy?

Yes.

But not to celebrate a man's death, though Davis certainly deserves to die. No, we should celebrate that, despite people using race as a battering ram, justice was done. It will have taken entirely too long, but that's because certain people like to promote their cause, even when it's without cause.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Netflix

Remember the whole Netflix price increase of a couple of months back?

Sure, you remember.

Well, okay, it wasn't actually so much a price increase as it was a cessation of a discounted bundle. Which made prices go up. Which is a price increase. So, yeah, it was a price increase.

Netflix was offering 1 DVD a month for $8 (actually, $7.99, but that might as well be $8; we'll round up to the dollar from here on out). As I was saying, 1 DVD a month for $8. They also had unlimited streaming for $8 a month.

And they still do.

Here's what changed: If you had a combined service -- 1 DVD a month plus unlimited streaming -- it was $10 a month. That's what went away. Everything is separate now. They stopped the combined package for a discounted rate. And, that ticked off a lot of people. Including me.

Now, it seems that there will be no more Netflix DVDs. Instead, they're changing the DVD service to Quikster. Netflix will remain streaming movies. Flicks. Or "flix" if you will. On the 'Net. Netflix will actually be Net flix.

About that whole mess where everybody got mad at Netflix? The founder of Netflix, Reed Hastings, wrote a blog post about it, apologizing, and explaining the separation of services into two different companies.

How's that going over? Not too good. At least, based on the thousands and thousands of comments left to his blog post.

How's business?
Netflix itself has estimated that its customer base is declining by about 1 million people during the current quarter, which ends Sept. 30.
I haven't seen this much blowback on screwing up business since ... New Coke. Or Obama.

How Netflix handles it will be interesting. Will they do like Coke did and bring back the Classic formula that made them a success?

Or will they give another speech.

I'm betting on the latter.

Now, the question is, which is out of work first, Netlfix or Obama?

And does this make Rick Perry Hulu?

Monday, September 19, 2011

Democrat math

Have you seen Obama's new proposal? Remember that bill he wanted Congress to pass that night he gave the speech. It seems they finally got around to writing it. It calls for "$1.5 trillion in new tax revenue" plus another $1.5 trillion in spending cuts over 10 years.

What cuts?

Well, it cuts $250 billion from Medicare over 10 years. How much did Paul Ryan's plan -- the one where the Democrats showed grandma being thrown off a cliff -- cut in the next 10 years? Zero. I guess Obama doesn't want to wait until 2022 to toss grandma off a cliff. He threw his under the bus, so why not toss yours over a cliff, right?

Oh, yes, there are other savings, too. $330 billion from cuts to Medicaid and farm subsidies, according to the reports.

So, that's 1/2 trillion dollars. Where does the other $1 trillion come from? The military. Specifically, it would be from money not spent on troops in Iraq and Afghanistan.

So, does that mean that if Congress doesn't pass the bill, he's going to leave the troops over there? Is Obama kidnapping our military and holding them for ransom?

Because if the troops were coming home anyway, the money saved from bringing them back wouldn't count as part of the proposal, right?

Here's how his math works.

Raise taxes $1.5 trillion. Cut Medicare, Medicaid, and farm subsidies a third of that. That equals $3 trillion in savings.

Yeah, I can't get the numbers to add up either. Or figure out how raising taxes is savings.

Must be another example of where reality is to be ignored in order to follow Dear Leader's plan. There seems to be a lot of that.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Who's gonna lose, week 3

The most important issue of the day? Jobs? Turmoil in the Mideast? Taxes?

No. Then what?

Who's gonna win the game, of course. Which game? Doesn't matter. Everybody's got a game.

I can't help tell you who'll win the game, though. I may be able to tell you who's gonna lose, though. You can figure out who wins from there.

Last week, I went 7-0 with the picks. That brings the season total ... what? The Mississippi State vs Auburn game? Oh, I can explain that: SHUT UP!

Now, for this week's ... what? I'm ripping off the old Leonard's Losers gimmick? Well, I can explain that, too: SHUT UP!

Okay. Now that all that's settled, let's look at this week's games. Those numbers? The current ranking in the AP poll.

LSU (3) vs Mississippi State

Defense will rule this game. As good as LSU is -- and they are very very good -- when these two teams meet for the 105th time, it'll be a battle. LSU often wins, but Mississippi State will once again, make it a hard-fought battle. LSU's defense should prevail.

Who's gonna lose? Mississippi State.

Boise State (4) vs Toledo

I know. Who knew Toledo had a team? Of coure, that means that they're the perfect team to play the Pretender Conference's top team, Boise State.

Look for Toledo to take an early lead, as often happens in these mis-match games. But Boise State's high-powered offense will rule the day.

Who's gonna lose? Toledo.

Oklahoma (1) vs Florida State (5)

Everybody talks about how powerful Oklahoma is. And they are. But they have the advantage of playing in a weak sister conference. Same thing can be said about Florida State.

This is one of those top-five matchups between two teams that could be among the best in the nation, or a couple of pretenders who are basing everything on reputation and a Boise State type of schedule.

Oklahoma blew out the Semi-holes last year. But that was last year. This year, it'll be different. Oklahoma has a tough time playing ranked teams on the road. But there's no certainty that FSU has returned to their glory days. Today's matchup will go far in determining just how good either of these teams really is.

Who's gonna lose? Oklahoma.

North Texas vs Alabama (2)

Another practice game for the Tuscaloosa Pachyderms. Toledo must have has a previous engagement.

Who's gonna lose? North Texas.

Wisconsin (7) vs Northern Illinois

Practice week continues for the top teams as the Badgers play the Huskies. While the Huskies might be a little better team than those playing, say, Alabama this week, they aren't that much better. Wisconsin may be the best team in the B-One-G.

Who's gonna lose? Northern Illinois.

Michigan State (15) vs Notre Dame

Back in 1966, these two teams played to a tie in a game that was hyped as the "Game of the Century." It wasn't. And this one won't be, either.

Quasimodo's American Cousins have had a rough start to the season. It doesn't get any easier this week.

Who's gonna lose? Notre Dame.

Ohio State (17) vs Miami

This game is sort of like "The Longest Yard," except in the movie, only one of the teams was made up of convicts. This week's battle between prisoners isn't anything like that so-called championship game of ... whenever it was the SEC didn't have a team in the title game.

The South Florida Blowhards and the Ohio Chickens face off hoping someone might actually focus on football. If these two teams actually do that, it might be a good game. How good? If you want a game that's not decided unti the 4th quarter, this one might be the one for you.

Who's gonna lose? Miami.

Kansas vs Georgia Tech

Yeah, I know. I'm a Georgia fan. And Tech isn't ranked. So, why is this game there? Because it could show whether or not anyone other than Virginia Tech or Florida State will compete for the ACC title and a BCS bowl game.

Paul Johnson has been the North Avenue Trade School long enough to put his stamp fully on team. He succeeded big time at Division 1-AA, and then brought Navy back during his tenure there, but turning Georgia Tech into a consistent power has been a tough go. If Erk's offensive coordinator doesn't turn the Humble Bumbles into a power, he might be back in the Southern Conference in a couple of years.

Kansas, meanwhile, has played a couple of push-overs, but has had a tougher time than some might have thought. That bodes well for George P. Burdell's favorite team.

Who's gonna lose? Kansas.

The Rest

You might not agree with all these. You'd be wrong.

Oh, and I might not have picked the game your team is in. Don't worry. The team they're playing will lose. Share your thoughts on these games, or your team's game.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Messin' wit' french fried potaters


Mmmmgh. I wuz readin' th' newspaper th' oth'r day. Well, I wuz sorta readin' it. I know some o' th' words. Some o' them words I didn't know.


Anyways, it wuz sayin' that that Obamer lady has gone an' made some rest'rants stop sellin' french fried potaters. She ought not t' do that.


I likes french fried potaters. 'Course it's only rest'rants like yer Olive Garden and yer Red Lobster that's stoppin' th' french fried potaters. That's what th' Atlanta paper says, anyway.


It sez that th' kids can get french fried potaters if their momma or their daddy sez they can. I thought it wuz a joke when I heard about it. But it's not like any other joke I heard. Like the one about them two fellers standin' on th' bridge, goin' to th' bathroom. Mmmgh. That'n I got. Didn't get the joke about the food, though. So I'm thinkin' it's not a joke.


Besides, folks treat me like a kid sometimes, an' I'm thinkin' that th' waitress ladies won't let me get 'em without my momma or my daddy sayin' it's okay. My momma's dead. I kilt her. My daddy's still livin' but I don't cotton to him to much. So I'm on my own ever since I got out th' nervous hospital.


Anyways, if'n the Olive Lobster stores don't let me get french fried potaters, I'm like to get right upset about it. I don't think they'd care much for me if'n that happened.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

You don't deserve your money!

Rep. Jan Schakowsky, D IL-9
I know. Some of you get up in the morning, dress, grab a quick bite or maybe a cup of coffee, and head to work.

Or, perhaps, you work odd hours. Sometimes long days.

Maybe you work a second job to help make ends meet.

I've done all of those things. Perhaps you have too, or still are.

But, whatever the circumstances, you work to earn your pay.

Only, you don't deserve it. Really. Check with Jan Schakowsky, the Democrat who represents Illinois' 9th district, who was speaking on WLS Radio:
I’ll put it this way. You don’t deserve to keep all of it and it’s not a question of deserving because what government is, is those things that we decide to do together.
Now, don't you feel ashamed of yourself? Thinking that the money you earned is yours. Or that you deserve it.

Thank goodness we have Democrats to set us straight.

Trade ya

According to AFP (Agence France-Presse, which is French or something for The Daily Planet, I think), Obama's approval rating is at 75%.

In Europe.
... he remains highly popular in Europe, with 75 percent in 12 EU nations approving his handling of global affairs, a poll said Wednesday.

He is also much better liked than his predecessor George W. Bush, whose rating in Europe was just 20 percent in 2008, said the Transatlantic Trends poll by the German Marshall Fund.
Here's what I think: if Europe like Barack Obama so much, they can have him.

But, we really should get something for him. I mean, he did kind of screw things up really bad here, so anything we can get would help offset the damage.

In baseball or pro football, trades happen all the time. In baseball, you hear about one player traded for another, or for a couple of minor leaguers. In pro football, some running back for a couple of draft choices happen from time to time. So why not in the oldest sport and second-oldest profession, politics?

Let's trade Obama to Europe. But who should we get in return?

I'm thinking Nicolas Sarkozy would be an improvement. With that trade, we'd get a hot First Lady, too!

Heck, the desiccated corpse of Charles de Gaulle would be an improvement over Obama.

How about the Queen of England? Sure, all she does is ride around waving funny at people, but right now, that sounds pretty good.

Or the Pope. He doesn't hate the Jews nearly as much as Obama does.

Maybe we could get Roman Polanski. Of course, he'd go straight to jail, but then we'd have a child rapist in jail and Obama in Europe. Win-win.

Or, perhaps instead of somebody from Europe, we could get a landmark or something. Like Stonehenge. Or the Rock of Gibraltar. Or Notre Dame de Paris. Or a pair of wooden shoes from the Netherlands. Any of these things would be an improvement over Obama.

So, what do you think? What would you like to get from Europe in exchange for Obama?

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

AttackWatch!!!

The Ministry of Truth Obama Administration has launched AttackWatch.com which will let you report people saying mean things about Big Brother the president.


[Direct link]

You can help. Go to AttackWatch.com and file a report.

Or, if you want, you can list things here. I'll start.
  • I saw on the news that unemployment is up. I want to report the news.
  • I was going to report the Communist Party, but they support Obama's tax hikes. So never mind about them.
  • There was a dog in the neighborhood that was barking. It sounded like a mean bark. So he had to be a Teabaggerz dog. I want to report him.
  • I started a movie on Netflix the other night when the president was on TV speaking, and the movie played instead of showing Obama. I want to report Netflix.
I'm sure there are plenty of other things you've seen that should be reported.

Fewer jobs for child molesters

With all the talk (and it's mostly talk) about Obama's Job Bill, it seems we're forgetting about the current jobs program that's underway: the TSA.

While the Transportation Security Administration was created under a law signed by President George W. Bush, it has really taken off with Obama's flunkies in charge.

I won't go into great detail why the TSA was a bad idea to begin -- does anyone really think anyone could have hijacked a planeload of Americans after 9/11? -- I will say that if it's possible to make a bad idea worse, a Democrat can do it. And a liberal Democrat can up the ante. And when you get moonbat crazy Democrats like Obama, Holder, and Napolitano overseeing things, you're going to find out what government overreach really is.

And they're reaching for your crotch. And boobies. And your kids.

Well, now, the TSA has decided it won't fondle your children. Not as much, anyway:
Children 12 years old and younger soon will no longer be required to remove their shoes at airport security checkpoints, Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano told Congress on Tuesday. The policy also includes other ways to screen young children without resorting to a pat-down that involves touching private areas on the body.
Those heading into puberty are still up for groping.

What this means is the TSA won't be the prefect job for child molesters.

We're going to have to wait until they pass the Obama Jobs Bill to see what new opportunity child molesters will have.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Who's gonna lose, week 2

If you came here looking for something humorous, you're out of luck. Frank J has teh funneh, but he's out of town for a few days.

If you came here looking for keen political insight, you're also out of luck. Because all you got is Obama speechifying and making the stock markets drop another 300+ points. So, nothing new there.

What else is there?

Well, if you checked that calendar you got as a gift last Christmas and thought, "Gosh, that's a lame Christmas gift," then you'll see that it's September ... and that calendars are actually pretty cool. Because they tell you when it's time for ... college football!

That's means it's time for another installment of "Who's Gonna Lose" ... which is sort of like Leonard's Losers, except Leonard's dead and most of you don't remember him. I'm certainly no Leonard Postosties, but I can pick a loser in college football. After all, I'm a fan of Georgia Bulldogs football and it's the 2011 season. How can you argue with credentials like that?

Friday, September 9, 2011

Da speech

The president gave his big speech last night. And in it, he laid out a plan.


[Direct link]

It all makes sense to me now. I love it when Obama be speechifying.

Economic advice


What can we do for you, Mr. President?


Poll numbers are down, unemployment's up, and it looks like I'm going to have to go back to Chicago after next year.


You need to give a speech!


Speech! Give a speech!



Hey, that's a great idea! I haven't given a speech in -- gosh -- it seems like days.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Last night's debate winner...

A while back, we dropped cable. Didn't go for satellite. Instead, we decided to rely on the Internet for our television content. And, it's worked well. Except for one thing.

My Internet devices I use to receive TV content -- Windows 7 Media Center, Roku, Apple TV, Xbox -- none of them had last night's debate.

I wanted to watch the debate, so I feel like I missed something. Except I've already picked a candidate, so I wouldn't be watching to change my mind. I'd be watching to see who's going to drop out next.

So, I missed out on what all happened. Reports about who "won" the debate depends on who the person telling me who won was supporting before the debate. In other words, everyone's candidate won. But, since I didn't see it, I can't call BS on what people are telling me.

What all this means is I need someone I trust telling me who won, and why. That's where you come in.

Do you know anyone I can trust? Send them here to tell me who won the debate.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Obama Smart

Sometimes, the things people do are so obviously nuts, even my cat recognizes it.


[Direct link]

Transcript:
I just don't understand some people. Last week, actor George Clooney took the time during a news conference about his new movie to say some nice things about Barack Obama.

George Clooney: There's a guy in office right now who is smarter than almost anybody you know, who has more compassion than almost anybody you know, and he's having an almost impossible time governing.

That's not the first time we've heard someone from the entertainment industry say nice things about Obama. Like how smart he is.

Joy Behar: But I think you have a point. He's a little too smart for the country in a certain way...

You know what all that reminds me of?

CPL Allen Melvin: Raymond Shaw is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life.

In the movie "The Manchurian Candidate," those that were singing the praises of Raymond Shaw were brainwashed by communists.

That's not the case with Hollywood. Those singing the praises of Barack Obama? They're brainwashing themselves.

I just don't understand some people.
I think my cat has a point.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Smacked!

It's not that I don't know how to talk smack. It's just that my college football team sucks.

Georgia came off a 7-loss season, and the pollsters saw fit to rank them. Of course, these are the same pollsters that ranked Notre Dame, so there you go.

If you expect me to say that Boise State's a better team than Georgia, then you'd be right. Of course, last night didn't show me that. Watching Georgia for the last few years showed me that.

Boise State wanted respect. Some will give it to them now, though grudgingly.

I'm sounding like a sore loser, aren't I?

Okay. I don't like losing. But, I shouldn't rain on the parade of the winners of last night's game. The Boise State team won and the Boise State fans should be happy. And, with a Mountain West Conference schedule, they should run the table. So, maybe they'll get a chance to play in a really big game at the end of the year. If so, I wish them the best. Unless they play the SEC champ (which won't be Georgia).

Last night, Boise State spanked Georgia. It's like they were punishing them for wearing such ugly uniforms.

Of course, other than talent and execution, Georgia was the best team on the field. Or, one of the top two teams playing in that game, at least.

I still don't understand Georgia's strategy of drive downfield, sputter, miss field goal or punt. Sometimes I wonder if Mark Richt is a double agent. And if Mike Bobo isn't his accomplice. And whoever the Bulldog's fashion designer is. They ought to fire all three, starting with the person who let Nike design the uniforms. Must have been somebody from Oregon.

Georgia has a lot of problems, from the president of the university down. But, they are problems they created themselves, so they must find a way of dealing with them.

Getting spanked by Boise State isn't the way to do it.

I have no faith that Georgia will turn it around. And, replacing Mark Richt and staff won't do it either. Until the president of the university is run out of town on a rail, things won't get better at Georgia.

Though Georgia likely won't benefit from last night's loss, perhaps Boise State will.

They earned it.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Talking smack

Frank started it.

Really. Of course, on his blog, he can say whatever he wants. But really: "watch ... as Boise State whups Georgia!"

Yeah, how'd that work last time? Not too good!

And this year, Georgia will win again, despite the fact Boise State is favored. Can you believe that? Just because Georgia is coming off a 7-loss season.

And lost 10 players to academics or the state penal system or something.

And Georgia having no backfield except a true freshman from a class AA (2nd smallest out of 5 classifications) school.

Why don't these things matter? Because, unlike several of his high school teammates, that running back has yet to be arrested.

And, because Georgia will be wearing some Nike uniforms that are teh ghey. Plus, if they end up competing on Light Cycles, Georgia has the uniform for that.

Plus, there's the pressure factor. If Georgia doesn't win, there will be an uprising among the fans for the school to fire their Fashion Designer.

Hmmm. I'm thinking I'm not doing too good when it comes to talking smack.

Maybe if Georgia gave me some ammunition...

Friday, September 2, 2011

Excuses

Hey, did you hear the news? Obama has a jobs plan! And he's going to actually appear on the TV set to tell us all about it?

Oh, you already heard? Then, you're as excited as I am about it, aren't you? Yeah, I thought so.

*Yawn*

Here's the thing, though. Have you noticed what's been happening to Obama as he tries to schedule things?

First, Obama absolutely has to tell us all about this awesome plan he has. But not today. Next week. When the Republicans are scheduled to debate. On NBC.

(By the way, don't NBC and Obama talk any more? Maybe when Obama gets up in the morning, he doesn't wake NBC. Then, he's off to the golf course before NBC even gets out of bed.)

Anyway, Obama wanted to give this oh-so-important speech on Wednesday, September 7, the same night as the GOP debate. Then Claire Shipman's husband came out and said, "The Republicans can move their debate. It'll be okay with us."

And NBC was, like, "awkward!" Then John Boehner (he's the Speaker of the House or something) was all, like, "No, I'm doing my hair that night, so do it another night."

So then Obama said he'd do it the next night. But then someone realized that the NFL was playing that night. (On a Thursday night? I thought that was reserved for 2nd-tier college football teams.)

Then Obama was all, "Oh, football? I forgot about that. We didn't have that in Kenya when I was a boy."

So, now, it's still Thursday night, but at 7:00 PM.

Which means that the east coast gets to hear Obama speak, but the left coast will be at work (those that work, anyway) and not able to hear him.

What does all this mean?

It means that we've now discovered we can treat Obama like the pretty girls treat the nice-but-don't-want-to-date-him guy from school.

Make an excuse for a date, and he'll merrily go along.

"Hey, America? I was wondering if maybe you'd like to go out for a hamburger after study?"

"Oh, Barack, that's so sweet of you to ask. But I'm doing my hair. Some other time, huh?"

"Okay then, America. How about the next night? We could head over to the Bijou and catch that new movie I heard you talking about?"

"Oh, Barack, that's so sweet of you to ask. But I'm getting new wallpaper for my room, and I need to make sure everything is just right. You understand?"

"Sure I do, America. What about an early dinner then. Something quick, maybe?"

"Oh, Barack, that's so sweet of you to ask. But I've got cheerleader practice, and just won't have the time."

You see? We could do that. We just need to line up excuses. Then, when Obama wants to do something, like give a speech or raise our taxes or push some gargantuan health care bill down out throat, we can offer up an excuse and he'll put it off till some later time. We keep that up until January, 2013, and the problem takes care of itself.

Now, we just need some excuses.

Any ideas?