Friday, June 1, 2012

MST3K: Episode 601 - Girls Town

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 601: Girls Town

First aired: Comedy Central on 16 July 1994
Availability: MST3KVideos.com Fan Copy

There be girls in Girls Town.
In this movie, Mamie Van Doren sings!

In this movie, Cathy Crosby (not Cathy Lee Crosby, but Cathy Crosby, niece of Bing) sings!

In this movie, Mel Tormé ... doesn't sing. The 34-year-old crooner does play a teen, though.

The Platters make an appearance. Yes, they sing, as they should. But, this was the year after Smoke Gets In Your Eyes and the year before Harbor Lights. They sing a minor hit, "Wish It Were Me," instead.

Oh, and Paul Anka is in the film. His big scene is where he sings ... Ave Maria. Really.

34-year-old teen Mel Tormé bothers 22-year-old teen Elinor Donahue.
Okay, he also sings "Lonely Boy," which was his first Number One hit, so there's that.

But, this isn't really a musical. It's more a movie with songs in it.

Yes, there's a difference.

In a musical, there are times where the characters interact via song. You know, some con man sees a pool table being delivered to an establishment and starts jumping around on park benches singing "There's Trouble, right here in River City," and the whole crowd in the background sings along. That's a musical.

This movie has characters who are singers. And they sing. So, it's not a musical, but a movie with songs in it.

In the future, all women will look like Mamie Van Doren. I want to live in that future.
Tough guy Mel Tormé sees Elinor Donahue push Harold Lloyd, Jr. off a cliff, but he thinks she's her big sister Mamie Van Doren and so do the police who arrest Mamie but she manages to get sent to Girls Town and rooms with the girl from Follow The Sun all the while proclaiming her innocence, but nobody believes her, and if that's not bad enough, her roommate has the hots for Paul Anka and wants to inspire him to sing a Number One Song in 1974, but good-hearted Paul just wants her to get better, so he sings some songs, but Mel Tormé is rotten to the core so he doesn't sing any songs but instead blackmails Elinor Donahue to ride with him in a race that ends with Daddy-O wrecking, so then he tries to ship her off to Mexico, but a bunch of nuns kick Mel's butt and rescue the girls, which causes the crazy roommate to become a nun. The end.

It's a good film to start off Season Six. Heck, any time there's a Mamie Van Doren film, it's gonna be great. Because it's got Mamie Van Doren in it. She still looks pretty hot for an 81 year old. Heck, she looks good for a 41-year-old. Heck... well, you get my point.

TV's Frank doesn't see what's wrong with two male connections trying to hook up.
Apart from the movie, there are good, fun things about this episode. The dynamic on the Satellite of Love changes a little. Dr. Forrester introduces the Umbilicus, which connects Deep 13 to the SOL, which is in geosynchronous orbit. At least, that's what Dr. Forrester says. Which means the Umbilicus is 22,236 miles long. Actually, a little longer, since Deep 13 isn't on the equator.

I know, it's just a show. I should really just relax.

The Umbilicus is connected to Gypsy on the other end. She's not happy about that.

Of course, things go wrong, with Dr. Forrester having to send Frank to the store for a male-to-male connector.

Mike & the Bots design the perfect woman of the future. The Bots make a bunch of suggestions, but Mike ends up drawing Mamie Van Doren. No dummy, that Mike.

Mamie Van Doren and Elinor Donahue make a Mel Tormé sandwich. Oh, to be Mel.Dick Contino (Daddy-O) races against Mel Tormé. Things go badly for Mr. High Pants.
Oh, and this episode hasn't been released on home video. I have a fan copy from MST3KVideos.com. I hope they do release it one day. It's a fun episode, and a great way to start the new season.



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