Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Sex: ur doing it wrong


According to one survey, 20% of Americans 18-34 have used a smartphone during sex.

Now, if that involved using the smartphone to look at porn with one hand while ...

I kinda don't think so. I think the survey was talking about actual two-person sex:
20% of US 18-34 year olds have admitted to having used a smartphone during sex (Harris Interactive) and Twitter users on average have shorter relationships than non users (OK Cupid) - is tech just turning us off?

A recent poll for Durex (OnePoll) on the UK's sex life revealed shocking statistics including 12% of people had answered a phone during sex, one in ten had read a text and over 5% of respondents had even checked Facebook while making love.
Answering the phone? What's that about?
She: "I'm sorry, I need to take this."
He: "Um, isn't that what you were just doing, Sweetheart"
or
He: "This might be for me."
She: "So was this."
Checking Facebook? Going at it all hot and heavy and suddenly you're inspired to see what recipes your mom has posted? I think you need to make an appointment with Dr. Freud, there, Sparky.

Promise me this. If you are one of those people who find other things to do during sex, you'll do your partner a favor and set her (or him) free. Really.

I like tech. I really like tech. But there's a time and a place for everything.

If your phone rings during sex, and you decide to answer it, trust me when I tell you it's not Ed McMahon wanting to give you a million dollars. Ed McMahon is dead. And so, apparently, is your relationship.

13 comments:

  1. This is where "revenge porn" comes from. 20% of the 18-34 year-olds.

    ReplyDelete
  2. huh...well I guess I have numbers on my side. I don't use the Twitters and I actually met my wife on OKCupid!

    ...although the owner of OKCupid is a total douche.

    I don't see what's so important about phone calls or the interwebz when you're in the middle of doing the one and only thing that you are on this planet to do. Besides, you can call them back in like 2 minutes.

    ReplyDelete
  3. STUPID WINGNUTS!!!YOU JUST DON'T GET IT!!!YOU MIGHT WANT TO TWEET THINGS AS THERE HAPPENING OR YOU MIGHT HAVE AN IMPORTANT CALL FROM SOMEBODY THAT YOU MUST TAKE!!!DUMB DUMBS!!!IF MY ASSISTANT CALLS ME ABOUT A CASTING WHILE IM DOING SOMEONE IM TAKING THE CALL!!!JEEZE!!YOU WANT TO RISK LOSING A JOB???BIG CAPITALIST TALKING GOOFS!!!YOU CAN ALWAYS HAVE SEX YOU DONT ALWAYS GET CAST IN A TV SERIES OR MOVIE!!!!!DUHHHHHHHH!!!JUST ASK LENA DUNHAM!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Heh. I liked hearing about these studies. It makes me feel so superior.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I have never used a smartphone during sex, which may be the result of the fact that I don't have a smartphone. In any event, answering a telephone call during sex is definitely bad form. Firing up the Visual C++ compiler when the solution to a programming problem occurs to you is another matter, of course.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Basil, it is possible for Ed McMahon to want to give you a million dollars from his grave. After all, he was a Democrat - and they vote dead... so QED.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh, and @3. Ewwwwwww!!!Ugh!!!

    But I give it an 8!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I once answered the phone and we both thought it was funny. So did the caller.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm surprised it isn't higher, unless taking pictures doesn't count as smart phone use

    ReplyDelete
  10. I think we need a new survey. The question: "would you wish to receive a tweet describing JANEANE's current sexual exploits?" Of course, I turn away from mating bullfrogs. Am I a prude?

    ReplyDelete
  11. In above survey, you can also substitute Lena Dunham.

    ReplyDelete
  12. "According to one survey, 20% of Americans 18-34..."

    So when we grow older than 34, have we gotten a little better at prioritizing?

    Or has the whole world got ADD *that* bad?

    I blame video games. Take that, Frank J. :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. This isn't as outlandish as it sounds.

    "SIRI, PLEASE DOWNLOAD THE KAMA SUTRA."

    "SIRI, DO YOU THINK SHE'S LIKING THIS?"

    "SIRI, I'M REALLY THINKING ABOUT YOU."

    ReplyDelete

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