Dear Japan, We Apologize...

Frank J noted that Japan still wants an apology for that whole Hiroshima and Nagasaki thing. Like those things happened in a vacuum.

I’m pretty sure we didn’t do it by accident. If we did do it by accident, I’d be okay with an apology.

“Hey, Japan we’re all like sorry for hitting you with an atomic bomb. It was meant for Mongolia, but we totally got our wires crossed and got you guys instead. Sorry dudes. Here’s a coupon for free cheesy sticks with your next order of pizza.”

Also, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t the State Department who dropped the atomic bomb on Hiroshima. At least, I don’t think it was. Do we give them atomic weapons? Because if we do, I should probably reevaluate how I’m always pointing and laughing at them.

It would be kinda funny, though, if we went to Hiroshima and apologized for bombing Nagasaki.

I think I'll give a shot at apologizing to Japan:

Hey, Japan. So, you want an apology for that whole atom bombing thing, huh? Well, I'd like to apologize for us dropping two atom bombs on you. We only had three, you see. We used one up when we a-bombed New Mexico. So, we only had two left use use on you.

I'm sorry we didn't use all three. And I'm sorry it took so long to build more bombs. I wish we could have built the bombs we gave to the Navy for Operation Crossroads earlier and used them to bomb the crap out of more of your cities.

Next time we have a war with you, I pledge to do everything I can to make sure we use a helluva lot more than two nuclear bombs on you.

How's that, Japan? Feel better now?