Resolutions for 2013

I hereby resolve to:

• be tolerant of liberals
• not call everyone who voted for Obama a moron
• not throw rocks at the neighbors' dogs
• not make fun of rednecks
• not make fun of yankees
• not call everyone who voted for Obama an idiot
• be a role model for the children
• compliment people more often
• not call everyone who voted for Obama a dumbass
• sprout wings and fly

I shall achieve them all with equal success! Happy New Year!