Why I'm glad I got a car with On*Star

This week, in Columbus, a couple was car-jacked. Okay, I realize this goes on it big cities all the time. Or, at least, that's the impression I get. But when it happens in Columbus, Georgia, it's news. The bad news is: an elderly couple, 82-year-old Henry White and 79-year-old Betty White, was forced out of their car at gunpoint, and their car taken. The good news: It had On*Star. Yep, a bunch of thugs ... teenage punks ... stole a car from an old couple. But technology got them.

When the two teens sped out of sight, Henry White ran to his friend's front door and started pounding. He first called 911 first then OnStar, an auto safety and security system available in GM vehicles. Within minutes, OnStar had determined the location and direction of travel of the stolen car

Heh. Bunch of ill-raised, bone-headed thugs stole a car with On*Star. And On*Star found them. And, according to the report, the police found all three of the criminals. Now, this shows that On*Star won't stop your car from being stolen. But they can help you find it. I wouldn't want my car stolen. It's not a Cadillac, like Mr. White's car, but it's still my car. But, if someone does take my car, it's nice to know that On*Star can help me find it. If only On*Star service included sending somebody down to beat the little punks with a 2x4. Then, the service would really rock.

Speechin' and talkin' and such

Seems that Microsoft is banking on computers not using keyboards anymore. According to an AP report, Bill Gates thinks that touchpads and speech will be how folks use computers:

"It's one of the big bets we're making," he said during the final stop of a farewell tour before he withdraws from the company's daily operations in July.

In five years, Microsoft expects more Internet searches to be done through speech than through typing on a keyboard, Gates told about 1,200 students and faculty members Thursday at Carnegie Mellon University.

Speech?

That don't work well.

Not for me anyway.

I got OnStar in the car. And it includes a hands free phone.

You ever try to call someone on one of those things?

I was in the car and tried to call my sister. The Mean One.

Here's how it goes.

I press the OnStar phone button.

"OnStar ready."

"Dial."

"Please say the number you wish to dial."

I give out my sister's phone number. All 10 digits.

OnStar, when it isn't sure what number I say, uses "0" (zero).

It says, "9-0-0 0-2-0 3-0-0-5. Is this correct?"

It wasn't.

"Please say the number you wish to dial."

I try again.

OnStar says, "5-0-2 0-2-0 0-9-0-9."

That's even worse.

"Please say the number you wish to dial."

Once more, I try.

And OnStar thinks I said "9-1-0 4-0-0 0-4-5-9."

Which is wrong. Almost got the area code right.

"Please say the number you wish to dial."

Again, I give it a try.

And OnStar gets it all wrong again. And again. And again.

And this goes on and on for several tries.

OnStar doesn't seem to like my South Georgia accent.

It thinks 9s are 5s. Or sometimes, it thinks they are 0s. And, every so often, a 9 is a 9. But it's a crapshoot.

Other numbers, it doesn't like the way I say them, either.

Now, I may be wrong, but I suspect that OnStar has pretty good technology. And it has trouble with the way I say some numbers.

So, how will Bill Gates' technology work?

About as well as Windows Vista, I suspect.

And Windows Vista is one of the reasons I bought a Mac.

My car sent me an email

I got an email from my car yesterday.

I've never received an email from a car before. So, it was my first time.

I was sort of expecting it. But when it came, I guess I still wasn't prepared for it.

What did the car want?

It wanted to tell me to put air in a tire.

No, really.

You see, I got a new car recently. And it came with OnStar.

Now, OnStar was not a selling factor for me. I didn't expect to get a car with OnStar. Didn't know for sure I was getting a GM car. Ford would've been fine. But, I found what I wanted ... and in the right price range ... in an Impala.

So, we got a car. And it came with OnStar. I thought it only came on a Cadillac or something. But, no, it comes with the Impala.
Well, the OnStar thing is all set up and all. And one of their features is they'll send a monthly maintenance report on the car.

Well, the first monthly maintenance report came yesterday, Tuesday, 2-1/2 days after we got the car.

And, it told me the tire pressure in the left front tire was a little low.

It's supposed to be 30 PSI. It was 26.

So, the car emailed me and told me about it.

I stopped by a BP station last night after supper, and put air in the tire.

Air used to be free. But hasn't been for a while.

The BP on Macon Road wanted 75 cents.

So, I got out, took the caps off the valves, put three quarters in the machine, then ran around, putting air in the tires, trying to read the gauge when there's no good lighting.

So, I wasn't sure what the air pressure was when I was done, just that, according to the gauge at the BP ... which only works when you're burning seconds off your 75-cent allotment ... the tires are now pretty much even.

And, it seems that 75 cents is too high a price for some people.

No one was near the air pump when we pulled in.

After I put my money in, cars started lining up to try to get my leftover seconds.

Yes, I took my own sweet time about putting the caps back on the tire valves. And adjusting my seat belt. And mirror. And looking both ways. Twice.

Anyway, now I get emails from my car.

Oh, and this means that now the Wife and the car both give me tasks to do.

Ain't technocracy great!