An iPod with a sense of humor

I like my iPod. But I like it even more now. It's got a sense of humor. Earlier today, I put the iPod on shuffle. Which means it'll shuffle the songs on the iPod (all 1,258 of them) and play them. The 10th song was "Saturday Night," by the Eagles. You may know the song. From the "Desperado" album. The lyrics end with "Whatever happened to Saturday night?" Next song up on the iPod? "Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting" by Elton John. I like my iPod.

Rock and Roll Madonna

A while back, I mentioned that I, once again, had a complete collection of the Beatles' music.

I used to have all the Beatles' albums, back when music came on 12'' vinyl. But, a divorce can wreak havoc on a music collection.

But, it was exciting when I got a complete collection again. And then added it to my iPod.

To be honest, though, the Beatles' collection was not my first complete collection of an artist's music.

You see, although I did have some old Beatles recordings ... including an original mono pressing of Meet the Beatles, I didn't get all their recordings when they were released. I did get later pressings, though. And had a complete library. Or what was complete at the time. (Remember, this came before Live at the BBC, the Anthology series, and all the other stuff that came after.

So, because I was having to play catch-up on Beatles music -- my Big Sister (who's 5'4'') had a complete collection before I did, because she's my big sister -- I actually had a collection of another artist's music prior to the Beatles.

I used to have Elton John's collection. Or what was his collection, at the time.

And it was special. For a reason you might not expect.

Back in 1975, I had Elton John's Greatest Hits. Heck, everyone had Elton John's Greatest Hits. It's one of Rolling Stone magazine's greatest albums of all time (number 135).

Then, later in '75, I received my second Elton John album. As a gift.

In high school, one of my projects was assisting a teacher at the junior high (do they even have "junior high" any more?). It was my first foray into instruction. And it was fun.

When my time at the junior high was done, the class gave me Caribou, at the time, Elton's most recent studio release. (This was shortly before Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy came out.)

That record meant a lot to me, because those students meant a lot to me.

I listened to it over and over. Not so much for the music, but for the memories of working with that class of students.

And, I found that I liked the music. Sure, I was already familiar with Elton's hits. Those on his Greatest Hits album, along with others that weren't on the LP, such as Levon, Tiny Dancer, Friends, and his cover of Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.

But I also liked much of Caribou. Okay, Solar Prestige A Gammon isn't exactly an all-time rock-n-roll classic. But still, not a bad album. Not his best. But not bad. Of course, I may be prejudiced by the fact that the junior high class gave it to me.

Anyhow, I had two Elton John albums I liked, and in May, I got Captain Fantastic the day it came out. A guy named Earl drove the record truck, and delivered copies to the little old lady that ran the record shop in town, and a friend picked up my copy of the album. My buddy got the eight-track, so I was the first in town to have the album, though the second in town to get the release ... if you follow me.

I listened to Captain Fantastic, and loved the album. Still do.

So, I began buying up other Elton John albums. And, in short order, I had them all. They were easy to get. Elton was the hottest musical act in the U.S. at the time, and everyone carried all his albums.

Empty Sky had been released in the U.S. in early '75, so I picked it up. Thought it sounded a little out of place. Found out that it was a 1969 recording that hadn't been previously released in this country until Elton became a hot property.

Still, I got all his albums as I was able. Even 11-17-70, which, until I bought it, didn't realize was a live album.

Of course, I got Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, Honky Château, Tumbleweed Collection, Don't Shoot Me I'm Only the Piano Player, Madman Across The Water, the Friends soundtrack, and Elton John.

To be honest, after Rock of the Westies, I was a little disappointed. Blue Moves, even more so. And, after A Single Man and Victim of Love, I quite buying his albums.

But, for a time there, I had all his music. Even some bootlegs that included his early stuff, like I've Been Loving You, Lady Samantha, Just Like Strange Rain, Young Man's Blues, and Rock and Roll Madonna.

I've obtained most of his early stuff again. Everything from Empty Sky up to Rock of the Westies, with Rare Masters thrown in, in fact. And that means the music by Elton John that set the world on fire back in the 1970s.

I got the songs from iTunes, and they are on my iPod. And I've enjoyed listening to classic Elton John again.

They don't make music like that, any more. Not even Elton does. And that's a shame.

Note to self: Don't pee on the iPod again

Ever since I bought my iPod back in August, I've been carrying it in my shirt pocket when listening to it.

I don't like doing that.

And, now I don't do it any more.

Just the other day, I finally bought a carrying case for it. It has a belt clip, and yes, I clip it on my belt. And when sitting at a desk, my iPod is on my right hip.

Think now, about the ear buds cord. You know, where it goes.

From my hip, across my lap, up the front of my shirt, across my tie, to my ears.

Every so often, though, the phone rings.

I'll reach down, lift the cover, hit pause, and answer the phone.

Sometimes, though, the call takes a while. I'll remove the ear buds and drop them into my shirt pocket.

Got the picture, right?

Okay, add this little scenario.

I finish a call, finish off my Coke, and head to the rest room.

Now, I haven't put the ear buds back into my ear.

The cord is still hanging from the iPod on my hip, droops across my pants, and up to my shirt pocket.

Now, if the ear buds are actually in my ears, the cord droops to about the level of the bottom of my belt.

But, if the ear buds are in my pocket, the cord droops to below my fly.

Don't get ahead of me, but yeah, you do see where this is going.

When standing at the urinal, there is the risk of the cord interfering with the stream, if you understand what I'm saying.

So, if you have an iPod with a belt clip, and you stand up to pee, don't put the ear buds in your shirt pocket.

I won't. Or at least, I won't do it again.

XM

Got a new car back in December. I like the new Chevrolet. It's what I wanted in a car. So, we got it.

It's the first car I've had with a CD player built-in. So, that tells you about the level of importance ... or lack of importance ... I put on the music system in a car. I mean, after all, it's just a car.

Oh, sure, I've upgraded car stereos ... or added where one didn't exist ... in the past. Lots of times, in fact. But this one came with CD, AM, FM ... and XM.

Now, I've looked at XM in the past. Decided against it. I mean, after all, it's just radio, right? I get John Boy and Billy in the morning on Columbus' Rock 103. And, since they play songs by folks like Linkin Park, Pantera, Foo Fighters, Papa Roach ... well, you get the idea. Not my kinda music. Sure, some Pink Floyd or Aerosmith, too, but too much of that other crap for me to listen regular.

Boomer 95.3 is more my taste in music. So, as far as I was concerned, I was set in regards to car radio. And having a CD player was a bonus.

Of course, I have an iPod that I got in August. Been adding songs to it along and along. Got over 1000 now.

And, a few months ago, I got one of those FM adapters for the iPod. You know, the kind that sits in the cup-holder and plays the iPod through the radio. Like a Mr. Microphone. (Remember? "Hey, good looking! I'll be back to pick you up later!")

I know, not the best way to listen to songs, but at least I could play my iPod in the car when I wanted to.

But, darn it, the new Chevrolet -- it replaced an older Chevrolet -- had the cupholders in a bad spot for the iPod-radio thingy.

But, it does have an aux input.

But, there's no convenient place to put the iPod where I can glance at it or hit the "next" button without taking my eyes off the road for too long a period of time.

So, what to do?

Well, I decided to try that "XM" button. I mean, we got three months free, so why not?
I've discovered "60s on 6," "70s on 7," "The Heart" (23), "Deep Tracks" (40), "Top Tracks" (46), "Big Tracks" (49), "Soul Street" (60), and others.

Lots of songs I like.

The other day, I was in the car with The Wife, listening to XM. And they played a song I liked. And had on the iPod.

"You know," I told her, "if I had the iPod hooked up, I could be listening to this very song right now."

She gave me the look I expected.

It became a running joke. Every time XM played something I had on the iPod, I'd say, "If I had the iPod hooked up, I could be listening to this very song right now."

And I said it a lot.

I'd still be looking at ways to mount the iPod without cutting a bunch of holes in the dash. But I'd still be hearing songs on XM that I had on my iPod.

So, now I'm trying to decide if I want to spend the money for a different hookup for the new car so I can play the iPod. Or if I want to pay $12.95 a month for XM.

I'm leaning towards paying the $12.95/month.

That way, in addition to hearing the same songs that are on my iPod, I'll also hear other songs I forgot about, and can go buy them from iTunes to put on my iPod.

After all, spending money to find other ways to spend money is the American Way.

Instructions

It's a stereotype that men don't read instructions. And, sure, there's truth behind it, like most stereotypes. But it's not a universal truth.

I read instructions. Or try to, anyway.

Not that I'm not a typical guy. I think I'm pretty typical.

But, experience teaches me to read the instructions.

Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.

And I've made my share of bad decisions. So, my experience teaches me to read the directions.

But not everyone is that way. And mostly, it's guys.

But not always.

The Little Princess got an iPod Nano for Christmas. A red one (Go Dawgs!).

She didn't have one. And wanted one. And had asked her mother for one. But, she eventually marked it off the list, because of the other stuff her mother got her.

So, when she got the iPod from me and the Wife, she was surprised.

And pleased.

She squealed like a little girl.

Which she is. Well, she may be 24, but she's my little girl. Always will be.

Anyhow, she was all excited about it. We ended up going to the food court at the mall in Brunswick (my son's new apartment -- where we met and exchanged gifts -- doesn't yet have Internet access), to set it up.

But before we did that, we had to undo some stuff.

You see, while I have learned to read the instructions, I wasn't born that way. I had to learn it over time.

And the Little Princess still has a ways to go.

I discovered that when she said, "Um. How do you get it out of Chinese mode?"

Yes, she had played with the scroll wheel and the menu and all, and accidentally put it in Chinese mode.

After minutes of fruitlessly searching for a way to set it back, I picked up the instructions, found the reset method, and set the iPod back.

She's one step closer to reading the instructions. I still don't think she's there yet.

But soon enough, she'll have enough experience to make good decisions.

I just hope it's a more pleasant journey for her than it was for me.

So, Sis, how well do you know your brother's musical tastes?

To which of my three sisters am I directing the question?

Each of them.

Notice I didn't say "all of them." Because that would imply it's okay to collaborate. It's not.

Each of you must answer the question independently. And you might get help from the others by reading their comments. But no collaboration, sis. Or sisses.

So, to the Big Sister (who's 5'4''), the Little Sister (who's 6'0''), and the Mean Sister (who's 5'6''), I ask the question: How well do you know your brother's musical tastes.

Here's how we'll find out.

I'm listing 10 songs. Seven of them are on iTunes. Seven of them are on my iPod. The three that are not on iTunes may or may not be the ones not on my iPod.

You don't have to try to figure out which songs are or aren't on iTunes. But it may help if you searched iTunes and found that out. Then, again, it may not help. Heh.

So, you ready? Good.

Here are the 10 songs.

• Colors -- Ice T


• Friends in Low Places -- Garth Brooks


• Funk #49 -- James Gang


• Gangsta's Paradise -- Coolio


• Hello, Goodbye -- The Beatles


• I Feel Fine -- The Beatles


• In The Mood -- Glenn Miller


• King of the Road -- Roger Mlller


• Life In The Fast Lane -- Eagles


• Ridin' -- Chamillionaire

So, which 7 do I have on my iPod? Or which 3 do I not have on my iPod?

Keep in mind, just because I don't have it doesn't mean I won't get it. But, at this time, at least one of the songs I don't have, I don't plan to get. At least one of the songs I don't have, I do plan to get.

All this means you need to know, not only what songs I would put on my iPod to listen to, but what songs might I get before others, since at least one I don't have, I plan to get.

Yes, sis, it's complicated. Did you expect any less?

So, sis. Just how well do you know your brother's musical tastes?

Okay, I think I get it now...

A while back, the Wife ... and then I ... got iPods. She got the Shuffle ... and that's really cool, by the way ... while I got the big iPod. Not the Nano, but the one with the bigger video screen.

Of course, this was all shortly before they came out with the new iPods. Just my luck on timing, huh?

But, I'm not unhappy with the iPod. On the contrary. I think I get it now.

You see, I was always one of those that looked at folks carrying an iPod and wondered what that was all about.

And, when I got one, I wondered if it was a good decision.

The Shuffle? I liked it immediately. It was the iPod with video ... my iPod ... that I wasn't too sure about.

Well, I think I get it now.

I was listening to "Sweet Home Alabama" on the iPod yesterday. I've heard that song hundreds of times since it was released over 30 years ago.But, I never heard the sampling of the Neil Young song.

Oh, I knew all about Van Zant's writing the song in response to "Southern Man," but in all these years, in all the hearings of the song, I never heard, the sampling of "Southern Man" ... or what I now understand is Al Kooper's impersonation of Neil Young's singing ... until yesterday.

Never once, while playing the song on an 8-track. Never once, while playing a cassette with the song. Never while playing a 12-inch vinyl album or a 7-inch 45. Never once while playing a CD. Never once while listening on the radio.

Okay, I may be the only person on the planet that never heard it. But I never heard it. Until yesterday. On my iPod.

The point? Simple. Stuff sound good. Real good.

But, actually, the music was the easy part. I "got it" when we got the iPod Shuffle.

It was actually the video part that I just didn't get.

I mean, who would try to watch a video, whether it be a music video, a TV show, or a movie, on a small screen like that?

I just didn't understand it.

Until yesterday.

I had downloaded some music videos to entertain the oldest granddaughter. She thinks Weird Al is cool. Or at least one of his videos ("The Saga Begins").

But I was watching another one of them ("Smells Like Nirvana") while sitting on the couch, and looked up at the TV sitting across the room.

I looked back down at the iPod. Then back at the TV.

iPod.

TV.

iPod.

TV.

Then, I held the iPod up at watchable distance in front of the TV, then slowly slid it to the side.

I repeated it, only this time, slowly sliding it down.

I was comparing the height and width of the screens.

The 29-inch TV sitting across the room vs. the 3-1/2 inch iPod screen in my hand.

They're just about the same size.

And, the iPod's picture is clearer.

I think I get it now.

Pod People II

The Wife and I went on a trip this past weekend. We sort of went to Atlanta.

I say "sort of," because that's not where we were planning on going to start with. And not were we ended up. But where we stopped along the way. And not just to grab a bite. But we did some shopping. Or looking.

You might recall that the Wife got her an iPod. One of those little iPod Shuffle things. She likes it. And so do I.

When we were contemplating purchasing it, we actually said aloud that we'd probably get that one because we didn't want to spend a lot of money. Actually, a lot lot. Because, when you get right down to it, $79 is a lot of money. But the iPod Nano is $149 ... and higher. And the big iPod is $249 ... and higher. So, the Shuffle is a lot of money. But the Nano is a lot lot of money. And the iPod is a lot lot lot of money.

Anyway, we figured we'd spend the money on the iPod Shuffle and then want either a Nano or a big iPod.

We wanted the big iPod.

Okay, she's actually happy. I want the big iPod.

And, this weekend, we were going to South Carolina ... and just happened to be heading through Atlanta.

Yes, there are places in Columbus where you can buy an iPod. But not places where you can ask questions.

But Atlanta has places like that. Called the Apple Store. And there's one in Lenox Mall. So, we jumped off of I-85 (if Apple owned it, it'd be i85) and headed up Lenox Road to the Mall.

Being hungry and all, we ate first. Then worked our way up the elevators and escalators to the top level, where the Apple Store was located.

And got in line.

You might want to read that again.

We got in line.

There was a line to get into the Apple Store.

People were queued up to talk to 20-somethings who had either too much facial hair or too many bits of metal in their heads.

Okay, not all of the folks working there looked like that. But the PC Guy in me has to think that way.

[kml_flashembed movie="http://youtube.com/v/FdA51hlTKrM" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]

So, we stood in line and were eventually seen by a young man ... "Kevin" according to his name tag ... who had facial hair, but in the "I grew a beard" style, not the "I'm too lazy to shave" style.

Kevin was actually quite courteous and helpful. He didn't seem to mind answering questions for a couple of folks who talked like they were from around there.

But I noticed some stuff about the folks there. Not the Apple folks, but the customers.

They stood in line to get into a store that sold expensive stuff. The line had as many people in it as there were people in the store shopping.

They stood in line to pay for expensive stuff. There seemed to be as many people in line to pay for stuff as there were people standing in line to get in ... or in between, shopping.

Oh, and it wasn't just a couple of Mac geeks or iPod salesmen in t-shirts keeping people in line. Mall cops were there with badges and uniforms and everything.

But the folks there were very helpful about the different questions we asked, whether about the iPod or the Mac computers.

How helpful?

There's an iPod in my pocket as I type this. The 80 GB. That holds 20,000 songs.

Yes, I'm a Pod Person, too.