Viewing Michael Sam: the difference between the Right and the Left

Here's how conservatives see Michael Sam:



Football player for the SEC East champs.

Now, here's how liberals see Michael Sam:



Homosexual.

And that is the difference between conservatives and liberals.

Liberal logic

You'd think after a while, I'd get used to liberals saying and doing stupid things. But, I really don't get used to it. It still amazes me that people can be so stupid and still manage to walk upright.

It's sort of like a Road Runner cartoon. Wile E. Coyote thinks he's a "Super Genius" but comes up with some hair-brained plan that ends with him ordering rocket-powered roller skates and blowing himself up or splattering himself against a canyon wall.

You know he's going to do it. You know his logic is flawed. But you enjoy watching him make an idiot of himself time after time.

Watching liberals is that way. Except, Wile E. Coyote was a creation of the hilariously twisted minds of Chuck Jones and Michael Maltese. Today's liberals? Living cartoons, except there are too many of them running loose, with way too many holding elected office.

Still, there's a little bit of that "watching the Coyote" thing that keeps me paying attention to what liberals say and do. Their logic is ... Wile E. Coyote-style Super Genius.

For example:

• Liberals think that early snow and cold weather is a sign of Global Warming ™.
• Liberals believe that conservatives who support Herman Cain do so because conservatives hate blacks.
• Liberals think that Americans shouldn't own guns, but think it's okay to run guns to Mexican drug lords.
• Liberals believe that the TEA Party is bad because they could be violent, even though they're not violent.
• Liberals think that the Occupy groups are good, despite their violence.
• Liberals believe that the solution to problems caused by government is more government.
• Liberals think that killing an unborn baby is fine, but executing a convicted killer is bad.
• Liberals believe in Affirmative Action, in which blacks are treated different than whites, because blacks have suffered in the past by being treated different than whites.
• Liberals think you shouldn't impose your morality on them, while imposing their immorality on you.

Despite the obvious fallacies in their logic, liberals get up every day, try to live according to these beliefs, fail miserably, and then do it all again.

Liberals. Super geniuses.

Obama Smart

Sometimes, the things people do are so obviously nuts, even my cat recognizes it.


[Direct link]

Transcript:

I just don't understand some people. Last week, actor George Clooney took the time during a news conference about his new movie to say some nice things about Barack Obama.

George Clooney: There's a guy in office right now who is smarter than almost anybody you know, who has more compassion than almost anybody you know, and he's having an almost impossible time governing.

That's not the first time we've heard someone from the entertainment industry say nice things about Obama. Like how smart he is.

Joy Behar: But I think you have a point. He's a little too smart for the country in a certain way...

You know what all that reminds me of?

CPL Allen Melvin: Raymond Shaw is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life.

In the movie "The Manchurian Candidate," those that were singing the praises of Raymond Shaw were brainwashed by communists.

That's not the case with Hollywood. Those singing the praises of Barack Obama? They're brainwashing themselves.

I just don't understand some people.

I think my cat has a point.

Replacing Ed Schultz

Thank you for coming in. Have a seat.


Danke, mein Herr!


Just sit down. Now, what was it you wanted to see me about, Hans?


Herr Griffin. I heard about the trouble that Eddie is in. I know he's currently only on suspension ... but everybody knows that an opening could occur.


...


Ah. I, um, just want you to keep me in mind if the opportunity arises.


Hans, while I appreciate your initiative, I really must say that ... well, I don't see anything in your resume that indicates any broadcast experience.


"Broadcast" ... "experience?"


Yes, here at MSNBC, we prefer to have experienced professionals on the air.


...


Okay, you got me! We'll put anybody on the air. But -- and understand that there is not currently an opening for Ed Shultz' position -- if we were to put another personality on the air, we want to make sure that person is a good fit.


Oh! I would be a perfect fit, Herr Griffin.


Well... let's see. What do you know about the economy.


I know nothing!


Mmm hmm. What about the legal system in this country?


Nothing! I know nothing!


Hmph. American history?


Absolutely nothing.


The legal system? Education?


Nothing! About everything I know nothing!


Where did work before? Your colleagues?


Ah. Well. I ran a toy factory before the war...


What about recently?


Well, it has been some time. But my last job was working with a bunch Nazis.


Hmmm. Actually, Hans, you do have an impressive resume. You would fit right in around here. If an opening comes up, I'll keep you in mind.

Save a military hero

Don't lose sight of the fact there are two Obamas in the White House.

There's the man of the house. And there's her husband, Barack.

Now, just in case you're thinking I'm out of line by picking on the First Lady, keep in mind that Michelle (or, "M'Sel" in her native Klingon) isn't running around planting trees or cutting the ribbon on department stores. She's running around telling you what you can eat. It's part of the Nanny State mentality of the left.

Anyway, she's now got a new notch on her belt. And it's a two-for-one: She's winning her control of your dinner plate, and putting a military icon out of business.

Yes, there are fears that Cap'n Crunch will lose his job.

That bowl of wonderfulness that cuts the inside of your mouth to little pieces in the most delightfully painful way may soon be no more.

Think about that. Your children ... or your children's children ... may not be able to enjoy a bowl of Cap'n Crunch. Not regular Cap'n Crunch (my favorite). Not Peanut Butter Crunch (poor Smedley). Not Crunch Berries.

Now, Quaker Oats is denying reports that the cereal is going away. But I gotta wonder. Is this simply the first step to erase our childhoods?

We must take action to ensure that Cap'n Crunch remains available for generations to come. Dentists, tooth fairies, and children's happiness all depend on Cap'n Crunch remaining a daily part of a wholly-unbalanced breakfast.

Jesus and the ants

Sounds like some band from Athens, doesn't it: Jesus and the ants.

Maybe Seattle. Or Manchester.

Actually, it's part of an exhibit that was at the National Portrait Gallery, which is part of the Smithsonian. I've been to the Gallery of Art, but never to the Portrait Gallery, so I can't say if otherwise it's worth a darn.

Anyway, they've had some exhibit going on there called "Hide/Seek: Difference and Desire in American Portraiture." And that right there is the problem. Who says "portraiture" anyway? A bunch of snot-heads, that's who. You hear somebody use "portraiture" in a sentence, hit them in the head with a stick. They'll thank you for it. Or I will. Either way, you'll be thanked.

But, about Jesus and the ants. One of the exhibits of portraiture is a video. Go figure. And, in the video, is an image of Jesus covered in ants. Only, now the Smithsonian has pulled the video. The guy in charge said "I regret that some reports about the exhibit have created an impression that the video is intentionally sacrilegious. In fact, the artist’s intention was to depict the suffering of an AIDS victim. It was not the museum’s intention to offend. We have removed the video."

Which means it's not his fault he had a video of Jesus covered in ants. It's the fault of Fox News. Or blogs. Or Bush. Or someone else.

I think pulling the video was a mistake. I think they should have found some video of Mohammed covered in ants and included it. Somehow, I suspect that the problem would have been solved in short order, without any Christian having to say or do anything.

I now pronounce you ...

Growing up in Georgia, I discovered that some words can be pronounced in different ways, depending on where you are.

For instance, "Jordan." You may say JOR-dan. Some people, in west Georgia and east Alabama pronounce it "JURD-n." Like that stadium where Auburn University plays football, Jordan-Hare. Or, Jimmy Carter's Chief of Staff, Hamilton Jordan. Those are pronounced "JURD-n."

Houston County, in central Georgia? It's not "HYOOS-ton," as you might think. It's "HOWS-ton." Really.

Buena Vista, in west Georgia? "BYOO-na VISS-ta." Seriously.

Walthourville, in southeast Georgia? "WALT-OWER-VILLE," like it's three words: Walt, hour, ville.

The lesson I learned, as I mentioned, is that words aren't always pronounced like you might think. Or like you've heard others pronounce.

In the public interest, I present a list of words that you may have been mispronouncing your whole life, along with the correct pronunciation.

• Democrat (COMM-yoo-nist)
• Republican (OWN-pro-BAY-shun)
• Pelosi (ASS)
• Reid (DUM-ass)
• Obama (FAYL-yur)
• Stimulus (BAD-i-DEE-uh)
• Palin (AWW-sum, alternate pronunciation HOT)
• NBC (DOOSH-bagz)
• CBS (DOOSH-bagz)
• CNN (DOOSH-bagz)
• ABC (NYN-tee-per-SENT-DOOSH-bagz)
• Fox News (TWIN-tee-per-SENT-DOOSH-bagz)
• Liberal (KRAP-for-BRAYNZ)
• Twitter (GAE)
• Facebook (GAE)
• Windows (per-PEH-chu-wul-BAY-tuh)

Perhaps you've run across other words that aren't pronounced as one would expect?

Now that we know the cause, we can fix it

They found out what causes people to be liberal. It's in the genes.

According to scientists at UC San Diego and Harvard University, "ideology is affected not just by social factors, but also by a dopamine receptor gene called DRD4."

The number of friends you have as a child also factors in, according to the study. Which means that if, while immature, you have influences from other immature people, you become a liberal. Which proves that liberalism is immaturity squared.

Now that they've found out what causes it, we can cure it.

I propose that we fund gene therapy projects that will get rid of that gene. Or those with it.

Sure, a bunch of pansies on the left might object to my saying that, so, let's compromise. We'll start by getting rid of those with the gene in a small sample.

What say we start with a national test group of 535. We can remove those in that sample group that have the gene, and we can do that on the first Tuesday in November. And, we can have smaller study groups at the state and local levels at the same time.

Let's try that and see how it goes. If things get better, we can then expand it to the rest of the country.

Cartoon: Poll-ish joke

[Source: Michael Ramirez]

Updated Jimmy Buffett songs

I have 178 Jimmy Buffett songs on my iPod. That's over 11 hours of music. Many of them were purchased from iTunes, but others came from CDs I purchased. No borrowed CDs. No downloads from "free" music sites. Straight up, honest purchases. Jimmy Buffet has made money on me.

Why? Because I like the music.

Which is why I was a little disappointed when Buffett made that dumbass statement blaming George Bush for the oil spill in the Gulf. But, that's how some people think. Or don't think, but parrot what other people say. Maybe that's why Buffett's followers are called Parrot Heads.

Anyway, on teh Twitters today, I wondered if some of his songs might be updated to reflect his new injection of politics into his shows...

• Party At The End Of The World (Which Should Be Any Day Now)
• Somewhere Over China (Is The US Debt)
• African Friend, Israeli Enemy
• Son Of A Son Of A Kenyan
• Banana Republics (The Future Of America)
• Something So Feminine About How Obama Throws A Baseball
• Havana Healthcare Daydreamin'
• A Pirate Looks At $40-Billion Wasted
• Come Monday (The Deficit Will Be Another Trillion Dollars Higher)
• Pencil Thin Logic
• He Went To Paris And Bowed
• Why Don't We Get Drunk (And Blame Bush)
• Singer Goin' Crazy On Caroline Street

Again, I was disappointed. But not surprised. Maybe if Jimmy Buffett remembered what it was like to have to plan who would get the peanut butter, he'd remember what real life is like. And it's not being an Obama Head.

Der Fuehrer's Face

Conservatives think liberals are stupid. Because they are.

Liberals think conservatives are stupid. Because stupid liberals think stupid things.

There's nothing -- nothing! -- that liberals and conservatives agree about.

Except Hitler.

We want our Hitler. And Constantin Film is taking our Hitler away.

I want Hitler parodies. Democratic Underground wants Hitler parodies.

Think about that.

There's a socialist in the White House, the U.S. might shoot down Israeli jets if they attack Iran ... but we agree that we want our Hitler?

Freakin' Bizarro World.

Rewarding losing

According to ABC's Jake Tapper, a new name has appeared on the president's short list of possible Supreme Court nominees: Leah Ward Sears.

Yes, the former Atlanta traffic court judge is on the short list.

Okay, sure, she also served as Superior Court judge, then state Supreme Court justice, and finally Chief Justice of Georgia.

But look at her career on the Supreme Court. Her major accomplishments include dissenting opinions on:

• Club Southern Burlesque v. City of Carrollton (1995)
• McIntyre v. State (1995)
• Greene v. State (1996)
• LaFontaine v. State (1998)
• Lumpkin v. Johnson (1998)
• Gibson v. Turpin (1999)
• Wilson v. State(1999)
• Howard v. State (2000)
• Hill v. Head (2003)
• O'Kelley v. Cox (2004)
• Johnstone v. Thompson (2006)
• Morrison v. State (2006)
• Reaves v. State (2008)
• State v. Davis (2008)

Keep in mind that "dissenting" means that she differed with the court. She was on the losing side.

What does this mean? Her legal rulings are wrong. Her judgment is poor.

But that's right up the alley for Obama and his socialist supporters.

Being legally correct isn't important in a Supreme Court justice. Blindly following a bad political philosophy is what they seek.

With that crew, being a loser isn't a bad thing. It's a thing to be honored.

Imagine if this same logic applied to the NFL. Who would have been in the most recent Super Bowl? St. Louis (1-15) vs Kansas City (4-12).

Who would have been in the World Series? Washington (55-103) vs Baltimore (60-98).

Loser gets rewarded. That's the liberal way.

Racist teabaggers yelling racist slurs ... oh, wait

I was going to title this post "Lying bastards lie" but I changed my mind. Anyway...

The big media are reporting that members of the Congressional Black Caucus encountered racist slurs when they walked past protesters.

ABC reported:

Rep. Andre Carson, D-Ind., said that as he left the Cannon House Office Building with Rep. John Lewis, D-Ga., a leader of the 1960s civil rights movement, some among the crowd chanted "the N-word, the N-word, 15 times." Both Carson and Lewis are black. Lewis spokeswoman Brenda Jones also said the incident occurred.

"It was like going into the time machine with John Lewis," Carson said.

CBS had this:

Rep. Andre Carson, D-Ind., told a reporter that as he left the Cannon House Office Building with Rep. John Lewis, D-Ga., a leader of the civil rights era, some among the crowd chanted "the N-word, the N-word, 15 times." Both Carson and Lewis are black, and Lewis spokeswoman Brenda Jones also said that it occurred.

"It was like going into the time machine with John Lewis," said Carson, a large former police officer who said he wasn't frightened but worried about the 70-year-old Lewis, who is twice his age. "He said it reminded him of another time."

Here's what MSNBC had:

The Tea Party protests got ugly today.

African-American Congressman John Lewis (D-GA), a protege of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., who helped organize the March on Washington, went to the House floor today to tell Majority Whip Jim Clyburn (D-SC) that a Tea Party protester called him a "n-----."

The New York Times:

And while most of the invective was directed at the health care bill itself, several House members said there was an ugly tone to comments made by some demonstrators against three black lawmakers: Representatives André Carson of Indiana, Emanuel Cleaver II of Missouri and John Lewis of Georgia, all Democrats.

An aide to Mr. Lewis, a leader of the civil rights movement in the 1960s, said that as he walked to the Capitol, Mr. Lewis was called racial slurs.

The Washington Post carried this:

Protesters outside the Capitol hurled epithets at Reps. John Lewis (D-Ga.) and Andre Carson (D-Ind.) as they left the building after President Obama delivered an 11th-hour speech on behalf of the health care bill. Carson told reporters that protesters yelled "kill the bill," then used a racial epithet to describe Carson and Lewis, who is a revered figure on both sides of the aisle.

They all tell the same story.

And that's the thing: it's just a story. It's not true.

How do I know?

I've seen the video.


[Direct link]

Tip: Midnight Blue < Marooned In Marin

Not a racial epithet to be found.

I'm waiting for the excuses as to why video of the event doesn't match reports of the event.

Perhaps they suffer the same thing Maureen Dowd suffers. She heard "boy" when it wasn't said. The Congressional Black Caucus seems to hear even worse things that aren't said.

I suppose if someone won't make you a victim, you have to make yourself one.

Update:
Sarah In Italy sent word that there are two other videos, neither of which contain evidence of any racial slurs:

[Direct link]


[Direct link]

George Will explains liberalism

On ABC's This Week, George Will used the words of Robert Reich to highlight the liberal mindset on healthcare ... and everything else, for that matter (tip: Flopping Aces).


[Direct link]

[Full video at ABC]

Will: You say they have huge profits. As you know, confiscate all the profits of all the health insurance companies, with those profits you could finance our healthcare for 48 hours. What you do for the next 363 days I don't know. Second, you say there's not enough competition? Fine, let them compete in a national market across state lines.

Reich: Yes, let them compete across state lines, fine. But not a race to the bottom. Set minimum federal standards because we've seen over and over again that the recipients of health insurance don't know what they are buying very often. Until there are common standards, minimal standards, then people are going to be taken. And that is what's happened over and over again.

Will: There you have the premise of this legislation and the core of today's liberalism: the American people are such dopes they can't be counted upon to buy their own insurance.

Transcription from: NewsBusters

Once again, George Will sums things up nicely.

becum a lefty an lern to spel gud

Nick Jacob snapped some photos Thursday at a protest at the University of Washington (tip: Gateway Pundit). Here's my favorite:



More pictures are here.

My on-going conversation with people that watch MSNBC

Obama is a socialist.


You're a liar!

 

Obama is a socialist.


You're a racist!

 

Obama is a socialist.


You hate the poor.

 

Obama is a socialist.


You just hate Obama.

 

Obama is a socialist.


We have to help others.

 

Obama is a socialist.


Bush did some of the same stuff.

 

Obama is a socialist.


The Founding Fathers weren't capitalists!

 

Obama is a socialist.



Socialism is good.