MST3K: Episode 509 - The Girl in Lovers Lane

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 509: The Girl in Lovers Lane

First aired: Comedy Central on 18 September 1993
Availability: iTunes, Amazon Instant Video, Amazon (Volume 15), Shout Factory (Volume 15), Best Brains (Volume 15)

Rhymes with "train."

This is another one of those Joel episodes that I never saw until I got the DVD. It's a good episode, though. I hate that it took over a decade and a half for me to see it.

It's a good episode featuring a bad movie. Some people really hated the film. I didn't like it, but I wouldn't go so far as to say I hated it.

Okay, maybe I will.

A 20-something teen escapes some hoodlums and hops a train, meets a drifter named Bix Dugan or Big Stupid or something, gets rolled by a hooker, helps save Big Stupid from a murder charge, then goes home, and everybody lives happily ever after except the murdered girl. The end.

So, what's there to do in this town? Okay, besides her?

They didn't really need to kill of the girl. They could have had Jack Elam slap her around a bit, which still isn't nice, but at least it's not death.

Plus, with her dying, there's now only three girls left, and two of them are hookers. Which is a pretty impressive ratio, actually.

Jack Elam, as you may have figured by now, is the bad guy. Probably because of his eye. That look pretty much made him a bad guy in westerns for years, until he teamed up with James Garner in Support Your Local Sheriff. That was one of his first comedy western roles. But honestly, he was pretty good in whatever he did.

For instance, in The Girl in Lover's Lane, his character is supposed to be really creepy. And, he is. The killing of the waitress wasn't what sealed the deal. Jack Elam did that regardless of whether or not the character killed anyone.

Jack Elam really gives Joyce Meadows the creeps.

"Why do all the hookers dress like Joan Blondell?

The actress that portrayed the waitress, Joyce Meadows, had a small film and TV career, and was a likable enough character in this film. You didn't want to see anything bad happen to her. So, the filmmakers killed her off.

Big Stupid charms the nice waitress lady.

I suppose they did that so they could do an Ox-Bow Incident kind of thing at the end. Only, Big Stupid wasn't lynched. Just the nice girl died.

Not a pleasant movie. But lots of opportunities for riffing. Like the name of the lead character, Bix Dugan. J&tB heard "Big Stupid" and called him that throughout the film. It fit. And he was supposed to be the smart one. And he was. Which tells you a lot about the other characters.

The riffing was good, though. And the Invention Exchange was fun. I really liked the special baseball promotions that the Mads came up with. On Slide Whistle and Bat Night, I want a bat. The Don Martin/Doc Marten shoes were funny, too. No, I don't want any of those. But, yeah, that was funny.

The question, "Why do all the hookers dress like Joan Blondell?" made me laugh out loud. Because, well, in her later career, that's exactly how Joan Blondell dressed. Not like a hooker, mind you, but like the hookers in this film.

Funny episode featuring a bad, bad movie. The funny helped wash the film off.

---

<< Previous episode

Next episode >>

MST3K: Episode 508 - Operation Double 007

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 508: Operation Double 007

First aired: Comedy Central on 11 September 1993
Availability: MST3KVideos.com

Double-O Brother!

Even though we're a third way through the fifth season of Mystery Science Theater 3000, we're still running across several episodes that I never saw. This is one of those.

It aired 14 or 15 times on Comedy Central between September 1994 and August 1996 (one scheduled airing may not have occurred, but records for that particular 2:00 AM showing aren't that reliable). I never saw any of them.

Now, I had heard of the movie. It was released as Operation Kid Brother, and was rather infamous as, well, exactly what it was: an attempt to capitalize on an actor's fame by making a film with the famous actor's brother.

Not-M and Not-Moneypenny recruit Not-Sean

Here's the plot: An unnamed top agent, played by Sir Not Appearing In This Film, is unavailable for a mission, so the agency recruits the agent's kid brother, Neil Connery, played by Neil Connery, for the mission, helped along with Miss Maxwell, played by Lois Maxwell, and a chick who looks just like Tatiana Romanova from From Russia With Love to stop a mad man who looks just like Largo from Thunderball from taking over the world using a magne-thingy that stops all machinery by using radioactive rugs built by blind men. Or something. Hilarity ensures, although not intentionally. The end.

Like I said, I had heard of this film long before there was ever a Mystery Science Theater 3000, but didn't see it until well after there was no longer a Mystery Science Theater 3000. I saw it just recently, in fact, when I obtained a fan copy.

This episode has never been released, and a fan copy is the only way to see it.

The movie, in fact, has only been released on VHS, but it's out of print and not available. Maybe on eBay.

Frank likes Lederhosen.

Torgo returns with the Mr Pibbs.

The Invention Exchange and the Host Segments are fun. Frank's Lederhosen-hosen is stupid, but a good stupid. And we are treated to a return of Torgo.

Remember at the end of Episode 424: Manos: The Hands of Fate, Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank had pizza delivered? And Torgo, the delivery man, forgot the Mr Pibbs? Well, he finally got them out of the car.

Lots of silly and fun stuff. And, for me, it clicked.

It was only recently that I first saw this episode. It won't be that long before I watch it again.

Bad movie with bad acting and bad writing and good riffing. What's not to love?

---

<< Previous episode

Next episode >>

MST3K: Episode 507 - I Accuse My Parents

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 507: I Accuse My Parents

First aired: Comedy Central on 4 September 1993
Availability: iTunes, Amazon DVD, Rhino (Solo DVD/out of print)

Teach your children well...

Some people seem to like this episode a lot more than I do.

To me, it's an okay episode. Not bad, but not great.

Joel Hodgson, however, said once that this was one of his two favorite episodes (I'm not linking to that, because the Website containing that reference has been flagged as hosting malware).

Now, I do think the episode is okay. I don't run screaming or anything when I see it. But as for being a favorite, it just doesn't do it for me.

Negligent Dad, slutty friend, Jimmy, and lush Mom.

A kid stands before a judge accused of killing a man, and when offered the chance to make a statement, says "I accuse my parents," and the flashbacks start. Little Jimmy was raised by negligent parents who had better things to do that worry about some kid, so he falls in with the wrong crowd and ends up killing a gangster. The judge understands that Jimmy isn't to blame for what happened to him, but his parents are the reason for all his troubles, so he finds Jimmy not guilty and releases him back to the custody of those same negligent parents. The end.

No, I Accuse My Parents is not the feel-good movie of the summer.

The riffing is good, though. Just, to me, not enough to overcome the film.

Servo is naked.

Not that the film is bad. Okay, it's bad, but not nearly as bad as most of the films that got the MST3K treatment.

So, wha' happa'?

I dunno. It just didn't click for me.

Still, let's focus on the good.

Hmmm.

Okay, the Tom Servo is naked skit at the start.

Jimmy orders a hamburger with some nice french-fried potatoes.

Actually, I didn't care much for that. I don't know. Maybe it's the "Nude" color listed on the tube of paint that Crow used to give Servo a naked appearance. To me, it's along the same line as the "flesh" colored crayons. You see, there are people whose flesh isn't that color. And, there are plenty of people that, when nude, aren't that color.

Adhesive bandages are the same way. I've seen then labeled "flesh" or "nude" or such, and then, when someone who isn't my color puts one on, it doesn't mix quite as well.

Maybe it's no big deal. I just thought it highly inappropriate. I remember asking a teacher in elementary school about the whole "flesh" crayon thing, and her swapping out my "flesh" for a "pink" crayon.

There's a little something extra inside.

Maybe it's the missed opportunity. I can imagine a tube of nude paint on the Satellite of Love giving one of the Bots one color, but another Bot a different color. Would have made a good item for the Invention Exchange.

Now, if you ignore the whole "nude means Caucasian" thing, the Pinocchio theme of the skit is pretty good. But, that one little thing bothered me.

Hey, it's just a show. I should really just relax.

The cake with the dancer baked inside was ... well, that's Frank!

Again, not a bad episode. Just ... not one of my favorites.

---

<< Previous episode

Next episode >>

MST3K: Episode 506 - Eegah

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 506: Eegah

First aired: Comedy Central on 28 August 1993
Availability: iTunes, Amazon Instant Video, Amazon DVD, Rhino (Solo DVD/out of print)

It's pronounced like it's spelled.

This is one of those movies that's better than it is.

Okay, let me explain.

It's a bad movie. A really bad movie. But, as bad as it is, it has some things that aren't bad. Not entirely bad, that is.

Richard Kiel, who also starred in Episode 420: The Human Duplicators, is once again the title character who's a bad guy that isn't really a bad guy. He plays that a lot. He's not a metal-toothed villain after a British super spy. He's a cave man. Not a Teenage Cave Man; the movie postulates that Eegah is hundreds of years old. But a cave man nonetheless.

Arch Hall, Jr.

Kiel's Eegah is a likable enough character -- until he shoves the heroine to the ground in a fit of fear. But, that's the writing. Kiel is his usual self, playing the soft-hearted big guy whose villainy is either misunderstood or awaiting the opportunity to be the hero.

Arch Hall, Jr., who plays the heroine's boyfriend -- and is son to writer/director/producer Arch Hall -- was the intended star of this piece of cinema. The junior Hall actually gained some attention for his role in The Sadist. In that movie, he showed some talent. This movie? Not so much.

What about this movie?

They left the light on for Eegah, before putting his lights out.

A girl named Roxy driving through the desert at night runs across a cave man wandering the highway, which isn't normal for her, so she tells her father the writer, who decides to go get a photographs of the cave man, but disappears while trekking through the desert, so the daughter and her filling station attendent boyfriend take a dune buggy to the desert but break down, causing Roxy to be captured by the cave man and made to shake hands with the cave man's dead relatives. Girl and dad escape with help from the boyfriend, only to be tracked back to town by the cave man who proceeds to get shot and fall in a hotel swimming pool. The end.

What made this a bad film? Besides the writing? And the acting? And the film sound? And...

Okay, pretty much everything.

Eegah like Roxy.

If you've never seen this episode, but are familiar with the "Watch out for snakes!" line that Joel/Mike & the Bots would sometimes throw in on MST3K, this is the episode that it came from.

Early on, when Dad, Roxy, and Boyfriend go to look for Eegah, the Dad warns the others to "watch out for snakes." Only, they didn't film Dad (Arch Hall) saying the line. They just dubbed it in. In a scene where Dad is plainly visible and clearly not speaking. As Crow asked, "Who said that?"

There are plenty of production errors like that throughout the film. Still, I have a soft spot for this outing, mostly because of Kiel -- except for the scene where he throws the girl to the ground.

I didn't see this one when it aired on Comedy Central. I own the VHS and DVD, however, as well as the digital download. Yes, I like it.

It's a Sampo!

Oh, J&tB have lots of fun with Arch Hall, Jr. And not nice fun. Mean fun. They have a field day with his hair, his nose, and his general appearance.

True, he doesn't have leading man good looks. But, his looks served him well in The Sadist. The junior Hall didn't make a lot of movies. Eegah is one of a half-dozen films make up his film career.

Oh, and there's a bit of unfinished business from Season Four.

Back in Episode 422: The Day the Earth Froze, J&tB asked, "What's a Sampo?"

They got their answer when a viewer sent in a photo of a TV with MST3K showing on the screen. The brand? Sampo.

No word on if the TV also makes gold and salt.

I like this episode.

---

<< Previous episode

Next episode >>

MST3K: Episode 505 - The Magic Voyage of Sinbad

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 505: The Magic Voyage of Sinbad

First aired: Comedy Central on 14 August 1993
Availability: iTunes, Amazon (Volume 20), Shout Factory (Volume 20), Best Brains (Volume 20)

It's not Sinbad!

Remember all those great Sinbad movies?

Yeah, me neither.

Not that I don't remember Sinbad movies. I just don't remember any great ones. Heck, I don't remember any good ones.

Oh, just to be clear, when I say I don't remember any good Sinbad movies, I'm talking about the Sinbad the Sailor character from literature, not Sinbad the Entertainer character from Michigan. No, the movies of the man born David Adkins is not the subject. No discussion of Houseguest, The Cherokee Kid, First Kid, or any of those films will occur.

Sinatra is king.

Of course, if MST3K had lasted longer, perhaps we would be covering them. But, it didn't and we're not.

No, we're limiting our discussion to the movies featuring the character Sinbad. Specifically, The Magic Voyage Of Sinbad, which wasn't a Sinbad movie.

Say what?

That's right. The Magic Voyage Of Sinbad wasn't about Sinbad. It was about Sadko.

Okay, then, who was Sadko? Well, he was a character from Russian literature who caught a great fish, only to discover true happiness was at home. Or something.

Sinbad loves Luberia...

... but that's not Luberia! Then again, that's not really Sinbad, either.

Yes, Sadko was Russia's Dorothy Gale.

Not-Sinbad catches a golden fish.

Anyway, the Russian folk tale was turned the opera Sadko by Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov. There were also elements of 1001 Arabian Nights incorporated into the opera. So, when Roger Corman hired Francis Ford Copolla to adapt the screenplay to an American audience, Sadko was changed to Sinbad, some cities were renamed, and we ended up with The Magic Voyage Of Sinbad.

So, how did it go?

Not too good, actually. The original film was supposed to be a decent film. Some of the visuals of the scenery was left intact, and looked pretty good. The problem is generally considered to be the campy tone the movie picked up in the American screenplay. Of course, that's the version we're covering.

The Bluebird of Happiness is quite depressing, actually.

Sinbad goes around the world obtaining treasures and giving it all away. He promises to catch a golden fish and gets some aquatic tart to help him. He returns with the fish and makes the town merchant give away all their goods, but the people aren't really happy after all. He then goes looking for a bird or something, but the bird is really boring, so he returns home because that's what's important really. Or something. The end.

There's actually a lot of stuff going on in this movie, and in the Host Segments.

The Host Segments poke fun at the Emmy Awards, the Rat Pack, and puppetry. There's also segments involving scenes from the movie, including Crow deciding to travel, a town council to deal with Sinbad, and jesters.

There's no Sinbad in the movie, but, yes, that is a dancing octopus.

The movie is actually well-made. Some of the scenery is really good, and some of the special effects are rather good for a 1950s movie. In The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Amazing Colossal Episode Guide, Kevin Murphy actually compliments the movie for this. That means there's a whole element that can't be riffed on. Or so you'd think. Crow does mention that in a humorous way, so they still get one in about the quality of the production.

I was entertained by the movie. It's one of those that's actually watchable. Well, somewhat watchable. So, you need to watch the episode a couple of times so you can pay closer attention to the riffing. Well, I did anyway.

Not a great, but a very good episode.

---

<< Previous episode

Next episode >>