Tuesday, February 28, 2006

25 Rules To Help Women Understand Men

White Trash Wednesdays

My buddy Max lives in North Carolina, up near Charlotte. He come up with some list of 25 rules that he says can help women understand men.

He didn't say I could share them with you. But I ain't never let something like that stop me. Here you go:

  1. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up...don't come tell us about it. Put it down.

  2. Don't cut your hair. Ever.

  3. Don't make us guess.

  4. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to...expect an answer you don't want to hear.

  5. Some times, we're not thinking about you.

  6. We're never thinking about "the relationship."

  7. Get rid of your cat. No, it's not different -- it's just like every other cat.

  8. Dogs are better than any cats.

  9. Sunday = sports.

  10. Shopping is not everybody's idea of a good time.

  11. Anything you wear is fine. really.

  12. You have enough clothes.

  13. You have too many shoes.

  14. Crying is blackmail. use it if you have to, but don't expect us to like it.

  15. Your brother is an idiot.

  16. Ask for what you want. subtle hints don't work.

  17. No...we don't know what day it is. Mark anniversaries.

  18. Share the bathroom.

  19. Share the closet.

  20. "Yes" and "no" are perfectly acceptable answers.

  21. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. see a doctor.

  22. Nothing says "i love you" like sex in the morning.

  23. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

  24. Check your oil.

  25. Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.

More White Trash Wednesdays

Agent Bedhead
And Rightly So!
basil's blog
Cranky Neocon
Dangerous Logic
Feisty Republican Whore
It Is What It Is
Lost In Lima Ohio
Mean Ol' Meany
Merri Musings
MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy
Pirate's Cove
Riehl World View
Six Meat Buffet
Stupid Random Thoughts
The Ebb & Flow Institute
The Jawa Report
The Nose On Your Face
The Therapist
Vince Aut Morire

Headline News 2006-02-28

From ABC News:
Conn. Man Sells Holy Hardware on eBay
Holy Handgrenade found

From ABC News:
Sen. Clinton Says Rove Obsesses About Her
Thinks she's hot

From ABC News:
Grandma: Child groom to seek divorce
Also wants new Playstation for birthday

From ABC News:
Georgia finds bird flu virus
Waycross residents concerned

From ABC News:
Pirates seize Indian vessel
Dodgers offer to mediate crisis

From KCCI:
Mom follows son to college
He forgot his jacket

From WRTV:
Cheers, jeers greet controversial play
Colts decision to run out the clock praised, derided

From KPRC:
Police: Student charged with stabbing classmate
Gets a 'B' in terrorism

From CNN:
Hundreds face new sentences in Ohio
Must have them diagramed, all verbs conjugated by weekend

From CNN:
Socialite wife found death on her doorstep
Grim Reaper partied all night, went to wrong house

Picnic 2006-02-28

Today's picnic basket of items from my blogroll.
  • aTypical Joe had to go to the doctor
  • A Bama Blog found a reports that might have residents shaking
  • Jeff H. (Think Sink) watched the terrorists take over
  • Jon Opfer (The Museum of Left Wing Lunacy) is looking forward to where an investigation leads
  • Michael Bates (BatesLine) says the Kathy Taylor scandal may go deeper than most realize
  • Hyscience says Spain hasn't learned
  • EckerNet looks at something published that upset some in a particular religion ... and says "Get over it"
  • SerandEz finds himself the Target of rudeness
  • Denise (Grandma's House) found word of a performer's untimely death
  • All Things Beautiful looks at the ports issue
  • Euphoric Reality reports a dead soldier's home was vandalized
  • The Jawa Report informs us it's International High-Five a Muslim Day
  • Don Surber is unhappy with Dubya
  • Groovyvic (Fiddle Dee Dee) says Kirby sucks

Monday, February 27, 2006

Speeding Up Your Blog

BlogTipsBasilYou ever have a problem with your blog taking forever to load?

Of course you have. And so has everyone else.

And I wish I could tell you a secret to make your blog always load fast, but there is no such secret.

But there are some things you can do ... or avoid ... to help your blog load faster.

First of all, let's look at some of the most common reasons that sometimes a blog might take a long time to load.

It could be that you have too many or too large images loading. Also, third-party content can slow you down. One other thing is that you may have your code loading in a bad order.

No Wonder

I finally found out why Confederate Yankee hasn't signed up for the Blog Interviews.

He was holding out for a bigger audience.

Congratulations, Bob!

Headline News 2006-02-27

From ABC News:
What Causes Elite Athletes to Choke?
Number one reason: well-endowed teammates

From ABC News:
Streaker Runs Across Ice in Curling Match
Turns out it wasn't all that cold, he looked like that all the time

From ABC News:
Museum of Medical Oddities Likely Moving
Movement explained: Oddities not dead yet

From ABC News:
Psycho Path Voted Wackiest Street Name
Edged Lois Lane and Della Street

From ABC News:
When Convenience Store Clerks Attack
Victims unable to understand Farsi

From ABC News:
EU says it regrets Muslims offended by cartoons
Still unconcerned about beheadings

From ABC News:
Saddam ends hunger strike before trial resumption
Ate three puppies for breakfast

From ABC News:
Iraq Official: Top Zarqawi Aide Captured
Zarqawi only has two dozen "number two men" left in organization

From ABC News:
Report: Kennewick Man Deliberately Buried
Bush blamed

From CNN:
Microsoft to offer six versions of Vista
From 'Sucky' to 'Really Really Really Really Really Sucky'

Picnic 2006-02-27

Today's picnic basket of items from my blogroll.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

So I Went To A Football Game and A Hockey Match Broke Out

Chattahoochee Valley VipersWell, it was football. Not like football I was used to. But still football.

You've heard of ... or maybe seen ... Arena Football. Well, sort of like that. Actually, a lot like that. But not exactly that.

There's a new ... well, sort of new ... indoor football league: The AIFL.

No, not the Art Institute of Fort Lauderdale. Not the America-Israel Friendship League. And not even the Atlantic Indoor Football League ... though you'd be close.

It's the American Indoor Football League. And it's the new name of the expanded Atlantic Indoor Football League.

Anyway, they play football indoors. In small arenas. Like basketball courts. Or hockey rinks. That size of arena. Just like the Arena League. Or AF2.

But it's AIFL. And it's a lot like the Arena game you may be familiar with.

It's odd, watching them play football indoors. Of course, I've played football indoors. But I broke a lamp and got my butt whipped for it. But last night, grown men played football indoors. And nobody broke a lamp. Or a leg. Or anything, as far as I could tell.

But they did get hot and bothered.

The AIFL expanded from six to 16 teams, and two of the expansion teams, the Chattahoochee Valley Vipers and the Daytona Beach Thunder premiered Sunday night in Columbus. And the Chattahoochee Valley team is the local team. What with Columbus being physically located in the Chattahoochee Valley and the Chattahoochee River separating Columbus from Phenix City, Alabama.

Anyway, they opened their seasons Sunday night, and the first quarter had all sorts of near-fights the whole quarter. Well, 10 seconds into the second quarter, they finally threw down. It reminded me of the first hockey game I went to. Back in that hockey game, they dropped the puck and two players threw down their gloves and started swinging at each other. So both teams played short for like 20 minutes or something.

Well, it sort of looked like that in the second quarter of the Indoor Football game. Benches clearned and punches were thrown. And, after a bit, the officials got it under control. Threw out a player.

Later, they threw out another player. So they did an okay job of keeping the game under control. As well as you can for 16 men on the field (8 to a side) the size of a hockey rink. Okay, that is a hockey rink with stripes painted on the carpet.

But after the fights were brought under control, they ended up playing some pretty fun football. My nephew went to the game with me and had a good time. And because he was there ... plus with other youth in attendance ... I was glad the officials got it under control.

So, Indoor Football was a pretty exciting thing to watch. Plus it helps when the home team wins. 48 to 46.

Will I go back? Probably. I'm a sports purist. Well, somewhat. And eight men on a 50-yard field played on a hockey rink is a little different. But I'm thinking I'll be back in the stands. There are six more home games.

You have been warned.

Picnic 2006-02-26

Today's picnic basket of items from my blogroll.

Saturday, February 25, 2006

The Gunn Nutt

The Blog Interviews continue today with Gunn Nutt...
gunn nutt

The questioners are ready...

Now, the first question...

Open Trackbacks 2006-02-25

For today's picnic, it's everyone for himself...

Open TrackBack Saturday!

If you have an interesting post that you'd like to share, please leave a TrackBack to that post, and please link to this post so that others can enjoy the fun. If you need help with TrackBacks, Harvey of Bad Example has an excellent primer here, or check out my post about TrackBacks here. If your blog can't generate TrackBacks, use either the form here or here.

Friday, February 24, 2006

Fmragtops of Fmragtops Spews

This weekend, we have our interviews continue, and we have fmragtops of Fmragtops Spews...

The interview panel is ready to go...

Now, the first question...

Headline News 2006-02-24

From ABC News:
Mormons Not Laughing About Polygamy Comedy
Still haven't issued fatwa

From ABC News:
Elizabeth Vargas to Go One-on-One With Bush
President thinks he can take her

From ABC News:
Zoo Puts Giraffe on Birth Control
Slut giraffes cause headaches for zoos

From ABC News:
Holloway Suspect: 'I Lied ... I Was Scared'
Did not expect murdering girl to be so stressful

From ABC News:
Germany admits its spies helped US in Iraq war
To face war crimes for opposing terrorists

From ABC News:
China's media censorship rattling world image
Rest of world shocked a repressive, totalitarian state would act like a repressive, totalitarian state

From ABC News:
Pulling Colombia's coca by hand
Told to stop before they go blind

From ABC News:
Ted Turner to leave Time Warner board
Time Warner finally bored with Ted Turner

From CNN:
'Jurassic beaver' turns theory on its tail
Elizabeth Taylor upsets scientific tradition

From CNN:
The Soprano in the Garage
Home vasectomy goes horribly wrong

Ups and Downs

This little blog went down this morning. And not in a good way.

Some time overnight, a setting I had on my Network Solutions account caused the host to not recognize the database. (Long story. No, I won't go into it all. But the bottom line is, I screwed up. And it took the blog down.)

The change has now propogated across the Interwebs, and everything is back to normal.

I'm sure glad I've been playing with WordPress.com lately. We had to operate on the backup blog for a few hours, but at least it was there for us.

Sorry for the inconvenience. Everything should be back to normal now.

Picnic 2006-02-24

Today's picnic basket of items from my blogroll.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Mythbusting Instapundit

A Filthy LieWho are the Mythbusters?

Adam Savage...

Adam Savage

"I reject your reality and substitute my own!"

... and Jaime Hyneman...

Jamie Hyneman

"Quack, Damn you!"

...Between them more than 30 years special effects experience. They don't just tell the myths, they put them to the test!


Tonight, Mythbusting Instapundit

Headline News 2006-02-23

From ABC News:
Mardi Gras: A Party Surrounded by Devastation
New Orleans back to normal

From ABC News:
Police: Homeless Man Tries to Steal Sheep
Wanted to save them from Heath Ledger

From ABC News:
Urine Samples Taken From Probation Office
Office manager pissed

From ABC News:
School Pig Castration Sparks Protests
Students say teacher is nuts

From ABC News:
Bessy the Python Is Found in Ceiling
Graham Chapman's long-lost replacement found

From ABC News:
White House Says Bush Didn't Know of Port Deal
Cheney said Bush didn't have proper clearance

From ABC News:
Saudi rejects Rice on Hamas stand
Allows sale of soup

From ABC News:
Neanderthals in Europe Killed Off Earlier
Dick Cheney's great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather blamed

From ABC News:
Forest Service Traps First Wolverine
Storm plans to free Wolverine in daring raid

From ABC News:
Many Women Go Blind from Preventable Causes
Hair on palms occurring at epidemic rates

Picnic 2006-02-23

Today's picnic basket of items from my blogroll.
  • Conservative Angst says the ACLU opposes Christianity ... but not all religions
  • Farmhunk (The View From The Bunker) finds a way to help stop smoking
  • Glen (The Awide Awakes) looks at racial profiling and running the ports
  • Bill (Possibly Knot) looks at what the port deal will and will not include
  • John (Argghhh!) looks at the ports
  • Dustbury looks at the veto threat about the ports
  • Gullyborg (Resistance is futile!) sees evidence that a difference is being made regardding illegal immigration
  • Common Folk Using Common Sense looks at Muhamad's little girl
  • Tisha Sharp relates Screaming Betty's learning to walk again.
  • Blog interviews information is available here.

Can Bigotry Lead To Good?

When I first heard about the ports deal early last week, I was watching Fox News.

Okay, I wasn't really watching. The TV was on and I was getting ready for work. The Fox & Friends crew was talking with NY Sen. Chuck Schumer. There was some talk about ports being turned over to some foreign country. I paused and listened for a bit. But not for long.

And the reason I paused is because the idea of America's ports being run by another country (okay, businesses from another country, not actually a foreign government) bothered me. And that struck me as a bad idea.

Let me be perfectly clear on this: I thought the idea to turn control of the ports (or ownership of the office managing the ports) to a foreign country was a bad idea. Doesn't matter the country; it stinks on the surface of it.

Then I picked up that it was the United Arab Emirates they were talking about. After I had already decided this deal was a bad idea.

Let's be clear: It's not control by the UAE that bothers me; it's control by any non-US company that bothers me. *

Now, there seems to be a big deal made about the fact that it's an Arab country that's taking over control. And that strikes me as a bigoted response: They're Arab and therefore can't be trusted.

Perhaps they can't be trusted. But you know what? There's lots of people in this country, supposedly Americans, that I don't trust. But because of their nationality ... or their religion (the assumption being that all Arabs are Muslim, even though not all are) ... they can't be trusted.

Well, I don't trust them. The company that's been approved to take over the ports, that is. And not because they're Arab. Or Muslim (if they are). But because they're not American.

To me, it's important that American ports be run by Americans. And, yes, I realize that Americans can certainly be terrorists; look at Timothy McVeigh and Terry Nichols, just to name two. But still, I feel a little better about it being Americans running it.

Now, here's the kicker: Dubai Ports World (the company planning on taking over) is taking over from P&O Ports North America ... a British company.

The ports were already controlled by a foreign company! And I didn't know that until the uproars over the Dubai company taking over hit the media.

There is a big deal being made about the sale to a UAE company. But hardly any mention about the ports already being run by a UK company.

Why is that? Is there fear of Arabs in the hearts of those that are opposing it?

I think it's a bad idea for a non-American company running the ports in question. UK or UAE, it doesn't matter to me.

It seems to matter to others. Those in the know ... or supposedly in the know ... you know, Congressmen and Senators ... didn't raise a stink about this until a UAE company completed the deal.

I might be wrong (but I don't think so) that those raising a stink are doing so either because of their own bigotry ... or by playing to the bigotry of others. And, if so, and this deal falls through, then bigotry may have actually served a purpose.

But not unless control is given to an American company, and not back to P&O Ports North America (it's a takeover anyway, not a transfer) or any other foreign company.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Headline News 2006-02-22

From ABC News:
California Execution Postponed Indefinitely
Alabama, Texas doctors offer to assist

From ABC News:
Olympic Ski Coach Acknowledges Suicide Attempt
Failure to follow through cost him the gold

From ABC News:
These Foods Fool Your Body Into Feeling Full
McDonald's add Sawdust Happy Meal to menu

From ABC News:
China Said Cracking Down on Junk E-Mail
Mad rush for Chinese e-mail accounts ensues

From ABC News:
Girl Weds Dog to Ward Off 'Evil Eye'
Now officially a crazy bitch

From ABC News:
Locals Want Pancakes on Ohio Water Tower
Mayor waffles on support

From ABC News:
Why Martin and Malcolm Wouldn't Make Much of a Difference Today
Not considered "Black enough" by Democratic party

From ABC News:
The Misadventures of Celebrity Impersonators
Paris Hilton passes self off as celebrity for years

From ABC News:
Pope Benedict XVI Names New Cardinals
Tony LaRussa keeps job

From ABC News:
Meter-Long Monsters That Smell Like Lilies
New Ex-Lax scented laxitives hit shelves

Picnic 2006-02-22

Today's picnic basket of items from my blogroll.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Pet Peeves

White Trash Wednesdays

Basil and his old lady was talking with me the other day and she said something about being one of her pet peeves. I asked her to tell me about it ... but then she started compalinng complaining about stuff.

Ain't that just like a woman? Aske her a simple quesion and she starts whining and bcomplaingn about stuff she don't like.

Anyhow, her talking about pet peeves made me think about some of the pets I've had.

I had a pet squirrel one time. But the cats got it.

Of course I had some pet cats. Kept them around to keep the squirrels out of the yard.

When I was just a little thing, I had me a pet alligator we got from a visit to Chico's Monkey Farm near Richmond Hill. Bet you didn't know they sold alligators there, huh? But they did.

Grannny wouldn't let me keep it. I had to flush it down the commode.

And back in junior high school I had a pet rock ... but it ran away.

I've had dogs, but they was more for hutning than as pets. I've had other critters and such. Even a gold fish one time. But it drownded.

And that's about all the pets I had. Never had me a peeve. B ut I'd like to get one. I hear they's fun.

But when Basil's wife started complaining instead of telling me about her pet peeeves, she told about some of the ladies at the place she works.

And I guess "ladies" aint' the right words. She said some of them is real nasty. Like when she goes to the bathroom, she said they've peed all over the toilet seats.

Now, I've used public bathrooms before -- the mens room, you know. And lots of times, they've got pee on the seats.

I can see how a guy will do that. I ain't excusing it, but some folks can't aim good. Part of it is that you can't aim too short a hose. Part of it is that maybe they're too excited to be aroudn other fellows with their johnsons hanging out and they can't aim it too good. And then sometimes they just are pretty sorry shots when it comes to aiming.

But, hows a woman get pee all over the toilet seat. I mean, if your bottom is firmly seated on the porcelin, how do you miss?

She said she hates women that stand up to pee. it really grosses her out.

Me too. I mean, women that stand up to pee? Who do they think they are? Hilllary Clinton?

More White Trash Wednesday:
Agent Bedhead
And Rightly So!
basil's blog
Cranky Neocon
Dangerous Logic
Feisty Republican Whore
It Is What It Is
Lost In Lima Ohio
Mean Ol' Meany
Merri Musings
MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy
Pirate's Cove
Riehl World View
Six Meat Buffet
Stupid Random Thoughts
The Ebb & Flow Institute
The Jawa Report
The Nose On Your Face
The Therapist
Vince Aut Morire

Headline News 2006-02-21

From ABC News:
Embellishing His Resume? RadioShack CEO Quits
Resume included coaching jobs at Georgia Tech, Notre Dame

From ABC News:
Fast-Food Ice Dirtier Than Toilet Water
McDonald's introduces TyDee Bowl Happy Meals

From ABC News:
Hopes Dim for Lives of 65 Mexican Miners
Mine executive: "Thankful they're just Mexicans"

From ABC News:
Co. Unsure How Bird's Head Got in Beans
Recipe called for dog feces

From ABC News:
Fla. Man Kills Roommate Over Toilet Paper
Mr. Whipple arrested, claims he warned roomate not to squeeze it

From ABC News:
Former Stripper Not Typical Evangelical
Billy Graham's past life revealed

From ABC News:
TNT Shell Sits on Lawn for Two Decades
TBS, TCM make offer

From ABC News:
Light Bulb Believed Made by Edison Stolen
Thief finally rounded up enough to screw one in

From ABC News:
Symbol of America Is One Town's Headache
Dick Cheney's hometown in spotlight

From ABC News:
Stealth Fighters to Permanently Avoid Radar
No decision yet on Hawkeye, Klinger

Picnic 2006-02-21

Today's picnic basket of items from my blogroll.
  • Sean Gleeson is awaiting the Muslim riots in space
  • Frank (ManicViking) breaks out the 20-year-old photo album
  • Veronika (V's blog) says the complete truth is missing from the news
  • Huw Raphael (Sarx) wonders about the cartoons and forgiveness
  • Matt (Overtaken~by~events) finds why he misses Alam Simpson
  • Jibtrim (Starboard!!!) is thankful Jimmy Carter is retired
  • AYC stumbles across Gray's Anatomy
  • Sigmund, Carl and Alfred say Irving got off light
  • Jason (Generation Why?) goes 18th Century on the Democrats
  • Shamalama (Common Folk Using Common Sense) needs help with beer research.
  • Tisha Sharp relates just another day in the life of Miss Virginia.
  • Blog interviews information is available here.

Monday, February 20, 2006

Day By Day (Vertical) Using JavaScript and CSS

BlogTipsBasilOne very popular feature many blogs (including this little blog) carry is the comic strip "Day By Day" authored by Chris Muir. Okay, it's more popular with Conservatives than with Liberals. But still, it's one of the most popular Web-based cartoons.

"Day By Day" is carried on many right-leaning blogs and Web sites, most often in the standard horizontal format. That means the blog must allow for an area 575 pixels wide. That's not an issue for some blogs, but it is an issue for others, particularly Blogger blogs, or other blogs that don't have a single column that wide.

Many WordPress or other PHP-based blogs (PHP is a script language/interpreter; if you use PHP, you probably know that you use PHP; if you don't know, you probably don't use it) have had an additional method for carrying "Day By Day" for nearly two years now. Back in April 2004, Tempus Fugit offered a PHP script that could be added to PHP sites that allowed them to display "Day By Day" in a vertical format. That's the first panel on top, the second panel in the middle, and the third panel on the bottom.

In the past, I had tinkered with ways to make it appear in a vertical form using JavaScript and/or CSS. I had no luck.

Then, recently The Palmetto Pundit asked me about it again. So, I gave it another crack. And this time, we made it work! Check it out here at Palmetto Pundit, who was kind enough to participate in a test of the code for us.

So, here's the code for displaying "Day By Day" in a vertical format on non-PHP blogs, including Blogger, TypePad, and many other platforms. Sorry, nothing for WordPress.com; however, this will work for standard WordPress blogs, as will the Tempus Fugit PHP code.

This new method has been tested on Internet Explorer 6 and Firefox 1.5 with positive results.

<!-­ add the following lines to your website to get the most current cartoon from www.daybydaycartoon.com -­>
<script language="JavaScript" src="http://www.daybydaycartoon.com/scripts/daybyday.js"></script>
<div style="background-color: #FFFFFF; width: 180px; height: auto; text-align: center;">
<div style="overflow: hidden; width: 180px; height: 190px; margin-left: 0px;">
<div style="overflow: hidden; width: 205px; height: 190px; margin-left: -25px; margin-top: -5px;">
<a href="http://www.daybydaycartoon.com"><img src="http://www.daybydaycartoon.com/images/sp.gif" height="200" width="575" id="dayByDay1" name="dayByDay1" border="0">
<script language="javascript">MM_changeProp ('dayByDay1','','src',parseUrl(),'IMG');</script></a><br />
<div style="overflow: hidden; width: 180px; height: 190px; margin-left: 0px;">
<div style="overflow: hidden; width: 405px; margin-left: -206px; margin-top: -5px;">
<a href="http://www.daybydaycartoon.com"><img src="http://www.daybydaycartoon.com/images/sp.gif" height="200" width="575" id="dayByDay2" name="dayByDay2" border="0">
<script language="javascript">MM_changeProp ('dayByDay2','1','src',parseUrl(),'IMG');</script></a><br />
<div style="overflow: hidden; width: 180px; height: 190px; margin-left: 0px;">
<div style="overflow: hidden; width: 575px; margin-left: -388px; margin-top: -5px;">
<a href="http://www.daybydaycartoon.com"><img src="http://www.daybydaycartoon.com/images/sp.gif" height="200" width="575" id="dayByDay3" name="dayByDay3" border="0">
<script language="javascript">MM_changeProp ('dayByDay3','1','src',parseUrl(),'IMG');</script></a><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.daybydaycartoon.com">Day By Day© by Chris Muir.</a></div>
<!-­ Code copyright 2004 by Day By Day© any redistribution, resale, or reuse without permission of the owner is forbidden -­>
<!-­ Modified for vertical use 2006-02-20 -­>
<!-­ end Day By Day© code -­>

We thank Chris Muir. for taking the time to review this code and grant his approval. And for continuing to make Day By Day freely available on the Internet.

And we hope fans of Day By Day© by Chris Muir will find this useful.

Headline News 2006-02-20

From ABC News:
Experts Locate Sunken Egyptian Ferry
Non-experts shocked to learn it was under water the whole time

From ABC News:
Toppling Tehran isn't a tea party
Rumsfeld still applies for job of Mad Hatter

From ABC News:
RadioShack 4Q Earnings Plunge 62 Percent
They got questions, no one's got answers

From ABC News:
Skype Use May Make Eavesdropping Passe
Al-Qaeda stock rises on announcement

From ABC News:
Rocket Scientist Makes U.S. Olympians Faster
Marvin Acme credits test subject Wile E. Coyote for working out bugs in system

From ABC News:
Sigourney Weaver on the Leading Killer of Women
Dick Cheney's secret life revealed

From ABC News:
Democrats Press FDA on Morning-After Pill
Howard Dean, Nancy Pelosi desperate after their one-night stand

From CNN:
Bodies of fetuses, newborns clog sewers
Bush blamed

From CNN:
Britney: 'I sound bitter. I'm not bitter'
Does admit to being a slut

Picnic 2006-02-20

Today's picnic basket of items from my blogroll.
  • MacStansbury is celebrating Ricky Williams Day
  • Riehl World View looks at an admission from the mainstream media
  • SerandEz have a guest post about George Washington
  • Groovyvic (Fiddle Dee Dee) is ready to hurt someone
  • Stop the ACLU! finds a Taser death that they place at the feet of ... the ACLU
  • Tidbits and Treasures shares a prayer request
  • The Pirate's Cove hasn't moved ... but has changed
  • Adam's Blog looks at Dobson's backing of the Reciprocal Beneficiary bill in Colorado
  • Sunday Morning Coffee considers how songs change over time [Firefox display alert]
  • John Noonan (Andi's World) offers props to Murtha
  • SarahK (IMAO) names the new dog after a Clint Eastwood character ... if Clint Eastwood were a girl
  • Michelle Malkin tracks the madness
  • AbbaGav hosts the Hamas Blog Carnival
  • Bad Example: Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she had to walk into mine.
  • Shamalama (Common Folk Using Common Sense) wonders why the numbers don't match the numbers.
  • Tisha Sharp says some aren't up to the task.
  • Blog interviews information is available here.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Washington's Birthday, 2006

Today is not Presidents Day. You know why it's not Presidents Day? It's because there's no such thing.

What's that? All the banks and stores and everything have signs up talking about Presidents Day? Well, there's a reason for that. The world is overrun by idiots.

Today is the official celebration of George Washington's birthday. You know, the dude on the dollar. The Father of our Country. First in war, first in peace, first in the hearts of his countrymen. That George Washington.

George Washington was born February 11, 1732. Yes, February 11th. At least, when George Washington was born in Westmoreland County, Virginia, the calendar said February 11th. You see, calendars have had problems over the years. And the American Colonies were using the same calendar as Great Britain, and they used the Julian Calendar. The problem was, the Julian Calendar had a flaw. And that flaw caused the calendar to get out of sync with the Earth's and the sun and everything. Anyhow, the Gregorian Calendar fixed most of those flaws. We still use the Gregorian Calendar today.

But they had a situation back then. Once England made the jump from Julian to Gregorian in 1752, that meant that dates in the past changed. What was February 11, 1732 became February 22, 1732. It was this same kind of delay that accounts for the Russian October Revolution being celebrated in November. You see, they didn't adopt the Gregorian Calendar until 1918. Anyway, George Washington was born on February 11, 1732 Old Style. And that's February 22, 1732 New Style.

Years later, in case you missed it in your American History class, George Washington led the American forces in the Revolutionary War, culminating in the British surrender and recognition of the United States of American as a soverign nation. After several unsuccessful governments were established under the Articles of Confederation, a new Constitution was adopted. The electors unanimously selected Washington as the first President under the current Constitution.

As a military officer and a statesman and politician, Washington was one of the most respected Americans. And, his birthday was celebrated by the states. The only federal holidays at the time were New Year's Day, Independence Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas Day. In 1879, Washington's Birthday became the fifth federal holiday.

So, where did this Presidents Day nonsense come from? You can blame Bill Clinton.

Here's the deal. All the various federal holidays were celebrated on the actual day being observed. That meant on weekends sometimes, and during the middle of the week sometimes. And they said it cost extra money for a federal office to take off in the middle of the week. Plus having a Wednesday off between other weekday workdays limited families doing things.

So, in 1968, the movement to change many holidays to a nearby Monday really took off. And in 1971, Richard Nixon issued Executive Order 11582, making the third Monday in February a holiday: Washington's Birthday. In fact, last year, I fell for the trap of blaming Richard Nixon for calling it "Presidents Day." I was wrong. Our 37th president did no such thing.

In the late 1990s, that whole Presidents Day thing really took off. Lots of wrong things happened in the late 1990s, so that shouldn't surprise anyone.

Still, today is officially Washington's Birthday, and is not and has never been President's Day. Take a look at United States Code (5 U.S.C. 6103) and check out the third holiday listed.

So, liberals don't have to honor Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan, or George Bush (either one) today. Conservatives don't have to honor Bill Clinton or Jimmy Carter today. Americans can honor George Washington.

We should all be able to agree on that.

UPDATE: Snopes backs me up on this. Good for them.

Picnic / Open Trackback 2006-02-19

Today is a busy day already, with the grandchildren (all three) spending the night. So, for today's picnic, it's every man (or woman) for himself (or herself)!

Open TrackBack Sunday!

If you have an interesting post that you'd like to share, please leave a TrackBack to that post, and please link to this post so that others can enjoy the fun. If you need help with TrackBacks, Harvey of Bad Example has an excellent primer here, or check out my post about TrackBacks here. If your blog can't generate TrackBacks, use either the form here or here.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Deb & Cat of Elephant In My Coffee

This weekend, we have another special treat. It's Deb...

... and Cat...

... from Elephant In My Coffee
They're ready, and it looks like the interview panel is ready...


First question?...

Peakah of Peakah's Provocations... - The Interview

This weekend, the interviews continue with Peakah of Peakah's Provocations...

The interview panel is ready to go...

Let's begin...

Picnic 2006-02-18

Today's picnic basket of items from my blogroll.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Peakah of Peakah's Provocations...

The interview with Peakah of Peakah's Provocations... is scheduled for today. However, as you may already know, Peakah was suffering "flu-like symptoms" and behind on real work.

As a result, there has been a delay in the interview.

If the answers arrive today, we'll post them when we get them. If not, we'll post them when we get them. Regardless, we'll post them when we get them.

And while I've not seen the answers, I've seen the questions. Of course, they include the hard-hitting classic "If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?"

Check back to find the answer to this and other enlightening questions. It should be fun.

Once Peakah's feeling better, that is. Of course, if he answers them while medicated, would we know the difference?

I didn't think so.

UPDATE: The interview is now up! Click here.

Headline News 2006-02-17

From ABC News:
Learn Safety Lessons from NASCAR Crashes
Lesson #1: Stop driving in circles at 200 MPH

From ABC News:
Cheney's Rough Week Winding Down
Plans relaxing weekend lawyer hunting in Wyoming

From ABC News:
Homeless Man Turns Out to Be Missing Lawyer
Dick Cheney's first victim found

From ABC News:
Cheney: 'I Shot My Friend'
Plans career as reggae singer* after leaving office

From ABC News:
US military confirms German plane crash in Iraq
Cheney bird-hunting trip to Baghdad goes awry

From ABC News:
U.S. Women's Hockey Team in a Dogfight
American bitches expected to win dogfight

From ABC News:
Kiss Sends Man to Prison - for Life
Gene Simmons: one tough jury foreman

From ABC News:
Can 'Baby Killer' Neil Enwistle Get a Fair Trial?
Lawyer advices dropping the 'Baby Killer' nickname

From ABC News:
Cleric: $1 Million to Kill Cartoonist
Bounty is nearly triple what Bush put on Garry Treadeau

From ABC News:
Pakistani riots about more than cartoons
Being crazy and uncivilized bump cartoons to third on list of reasons

Catching Up

Dear Folks,

I have absent for quite some time, so I thought I'd pop in to say, "Hello!" It's been a while since I've posted, and I had to ask basil all over again how to do it. This is the first time I have seen the WordPress site, but I like it very much.

The thing I like the best is that the words are big enough that I don't have to bobble my head trying to find the right place in my progressive lenses to see the screen!

The thing I like second best is that I don't have to remember to double space between paragraphs...it happens automatically! I imagine that's something that basil tweaked, but nevertheless, it is delightful and aids in editing quite nicely.

The third thing I like is the color. I am partial to blue on websites, and the blue hues here are very appealing.

I haven't read many of basil's posts in the last month, so last night I took some time to do some catching up on my reading here. I discovered that I had missed some very good reading in the last three weeks! I'll comment about some of his posts at another time, but I do want to take this opportunity to comment about one topic.

I reread basil's posts about my little accident in January, and I also read the accompanying comments. Several weeks ago when I first read them, I was still taking pain-killers, and I didn't have the presence of mind to comment in order to thank you for your thoughts and prayers. (Actually, I THOUGHT I HAD commented and thanked you, but I must have hallucinated that.) basil did a magnificent job of thanking you for your warm wishes and kind words, but last night I realized I needed to write a post in order to thank you personally and also to give you an official update. (That's also what prompted my asking basil how to post.)

When basil first told you about the accident, we were afraid I might have fractured ribs but thankfully I had no broken or fractured bones. My leg was twisted and we were worried about blood clots, but the doctors were pleased with the results of the sonogram of my leg. So, it seems I have been in pretty good shape the whole time. I have just been bruised and really sore.

Actually, I have been healing quite nicely. I am still a little sore, and my stamina is not what it should be yet, BUT I don't limp now and I can sleep on my side again...even if it is the "well" side. It is delightful not to have to sleep sitting up!

I feel good enough to fix phin some chicken and dumpling and a peanut butter cookie!

Again, thank you for your kind and thoughtful words, your warm wishes, and your prayers.


The Big Sis (who's 5'4" and now only a little sore)

Picnic 2006-02-17

Today's picnic basket of items from my blogroll.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Pavane pour une Infante Défunte

Yesterday, I mentioned that the Wife and I went to the symphony Tuesday night for St. Valentine's Day. And that, because of the timeframe, we took a change of clothes to work. And that, for me, meant a tuxedo. And, since we carpool, and the Wife drove, I was on foot.

So, there I am, walking down the streets of Columbus, Georgia, wearing a tuxedo, getting some nods, some smiles, and some other reactions.

My trek to the restaurant where we were meeting for supper was a winding path because of constuction. I passed many places and several people, also on foot, or sitting on benches.

One thing Columbus has, besides lots of banks, is "other financial institutions." The places you go when the banks can't or won't deal with you. Or that have arrangements with some of the furniture or electronics stores for financing.

Outside one of these lending institutions were standing two ladies. Both were obviously younger than me. One appeared to be 25-30. The other 30-35. And they saw me approaching from a distance.

When I noticed them, they had already spotted me. I passed others along the way before I reached the pair. And I nodded to spoke to those I passed: "Good evening, ma'am. Good afternoon, sir;" that kind of thing.

As I approached the two young ladies, I began to move slightly to the right, granting some distance as not to infringe anyone's space, and since the sidewalks there were rather wide.

I wasn't certain why they were standing there. They weren't smoking, so it wasn't a smoke break. It was late in the day. The business may have been closed, but it didn't appear to be locked up. Regardless, I looked at them, moved slightly to the right grant them their space, nodded my head and said "Good evening, ladies."

They smiled the whole time I approached them. Then, as I spoke my greeting, they cocked their heads slightly and asked, "Aren't you the stripper?"

I laughed, thanked them for the laugh, and continued my way to supper.

I think they were joking.

Heck, I'm sure they were. Anyone who's met me knows I'm not exactly stripper material. Unless you really enjoyed the Chris Farley skit with Patrick Swayze. I mean, really enjoyed it.

Anyway, the humor of their comment stayed with me for a bit. But I would have enjoyed the rest of the walk, regardless.

I arrived at the restaurant early. It wasn't necessary, as it turned out, but you never know on Valentine's Day, or on symphony night, or both. Shortly after I was seated, the Wife arrived, and we placed our order.

We were the only ones dressed semi-formal. And no one was dressed formal. Still, we were there to have a good time, and did.

Except for the fellow to my left (her right) who decided that the resaurant inside the Marriott was the appropriate place to blow his nose. At the table. But, to our relief, he only did it three times during the meal.

After dinner, dessert, and coffee, we went to the RiverCenter for the show.

We have been to hear the Columbus Symphony Orchestra before. Not a lot, but a few times. But this was the first time we had been to the RiverCenter. Previously, we had only heard them at the Springer Opera House.

Again, we may have been overdressed. But I don't think so. Valentine's Day, out to the symphony ... seem appropriate to me. Still, I was the only tux not playing an instrument or seating guests.

And, I'm not sure, but I'm thinking some of those there might not go to the symphony a lot. To a Willie Nelson concert, yes. Or a NASCAR race. Or a tractor pull. Or a cockfight. But not to the symphony.

Now, don't misunderstand me. I'm not a regular attendee of the symphony. But I know not to talk during the performance. I'd like to think if I ... a dumb redneck from southeast Georgia ... know better than to do something, others should to.

My suspicions were confirmed when, after the concert ended, they took out their lighters, held them up, and yelled out "Free Bird!"

Okay, I made that part up. They didn't have lighters.

Okay, they didn't yell "Free Bird!" either. But you get the idea.

Sill, the music was wonderful. The theatre is beautiful. And a night out at the symphony is a wonderful thing.

Swan Lake is coming up. No, it's not the symphony, but it will, I'm sure, be a treat. Also coming up is Beethoven's Ninth. I LOVE Beethoven's Ninth.

We're making plans to go back to hear the Columbus Symphony Orchestra, and to other events at the RiverCenter.

I expect to see some of the same patrons again. If they host a tractor pull.

And, if this new job as a stripper works out, perhaps we can afford to attend regularly.

Headline News 2006-02-16

From ABC News:
Police 'Death Squad' Spreads Fear in Iraq
Cheney's hunting trip in Baghdad deemed a success

From ABC News:
President Satisfied With Cheney's Account
Vice president paying bills on-time, will get lower interest rate

From ABC News:
Cheney Says He Can Declassify Secrets
Puts hand on holster, asks anyone to have a problem with it

From CNN:
New Bond film finds its villain
Cheney inks film deal

From ABC News:
Russian Biathlete Expelled, Loses Medal
New IOC rules: Athletes must be straight or gay, no middle ground

From ABC News:
Mom, Daughter Have Babies 90 Minutes Apart
Bush blamed

From ABC News:
Rufus' Wild Night on the Town
Chaka Khan arrested

From ABC News:
Blank Ballots Decide Haiti Election
Florida annexes Haiti

From ABC News:
John Michael Montgomery Arrested on DUI
World shocked to learn of country singer that drinks

From CNN:
Swimsuit '06, featuring Maria Sharapova, Elle
I don't actually have anything; I just wanted to look at the pictures

Picnic 2006-02-16

Today's picnic basket of items from my blogroll.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Le Tombeau de Couperin

Tuesday night was St. Valentine's Day, in case you missed it. We didn't miss it.

In fact, at the last minute, the Wife and I were given a Valentine's present from Snuffie*: tickets to the Columbus Symphony Orchestra performance that night.

That meant a slight change of plans involving where to eat dinner. But that's not a problem.

Armed with the knowledge that we had two hours after work to be seated in the concert hall, we decided to take a change of clothes to work.

Now, in Columbus, Georgia, not everyone who goes to the symphony wears a tuxedo. Unless they are helping people find their seat ... or are on stage. Columbus isn't a big tux town. Still, for a St. Valentine's Day evening at the symphony with my Special Lady, a tux seemed to be the thing to do.

Oh, did I mention that, since we work three blocks away, we often drive in together? And Tuesday was no exception. And, since it's her week to drive, that meant that I'm at work with a tux hanging on the wall and no means of transportation, save for my own two feet.

Anyway, at the end of the day, I changed into the tuxedo, finished a couple of items, then left.

On foot.


In Columbus Georgia.

Wearing a tuxedo.

As I crossed the streets, or more accurately, as I waited for the lights to change prior to crossing the streets, I got a couple of looks from some of the drivers. Some waves. A few nods. Some smiles.

Because of some construction blocking some of the sidewalks, I had to take a detour down a block that had a bank on one side and a furniture store on another. And at the end of the block, where I had to turn again, was a Subway. The sandwich store, not the underground train.

The Subway shop closes at 5:00 on weekdays. Apparently, they cater to the downtown Columbus crowd, and close up when the downtown work crowd goes home. Anyway, they had their trash on the curb. And in the clear plastic bag was the bread that they throw away. Yes, it's true: Subway serves their sandwiches on fresh bread; old bread gets thrown out.

I noticed that. Actually, the Wife and I had noticed it last week when we were downtown after 5:00 one evening. But, Tuesday, I noticed it again. And, something she said then came to mind a few minutes later, when I passed what appeared to be a homeless man, carrying several plastic bags, stopping at the curbside trash of another business, kicking the dark green plastic bags, and peering intently at the clear plastic bags. He passed up what he saw in that business' trash. After the light changed and I crossed the street in his direction, he continued his trek, shuffling slowly towards the block I had just left.

As we approached, he turned his gaze to his right, looking towards the street, perhaps towards the building across the street, perhaps towards the traffic lights, perhaps at a passing bird or a passing car ... or perhaps just away from me.

I nodded as we passed: me in a tuxedo, him in worn, slightly dirty clothes.

He didn't return the nod. He wasn't looking at me. He avoided my gaze, perhaps because he didn't want to make me feel uncomfortable. Perhaps he was tired of people looking at him with pity, or with disdain, or discomfort ... perhaps he didn't want to make me have to look away. Perhaps, if one or two things had been different, it would have been him in the tux and me searching through garbage, and he was embarrassed. For me or for himself. Or for both.

We passed, and he continued his slow trek towards a bag of thrown-out bread. I continued my walk towards a restaurant where I would enjoy a steak dinner with my wife.

Headline News 2006-02-15

From ABC News:
Mineta Calls Spears 'Irresponsible'
Singer now officially fat and stupid

From ABC News:
White House Finds Humor in Hunting Mishap
McClellan: "Not as funny as Ted Kennedy drowning that girl, but still pretty funny"

From ABC News:
Woman Jailed for Molesting Boy Groom Has Baby
David Allan Coe inspired to write new country song

From ABC News:
Caging Kids Kept Them Safe, Parents Say
Caging parents may make kids safe, prosecuters say

From ABC News:
Web Gives Terror Groups' Message Global Reach
CNN, CBS, NBS serve a purpose

From ABC News:
Willie Nelson Releases Gay Cowboy Song
"Momma's Don't Let Your Cowboys Grow Up To Be Babies" goes gold

From ABC News:
Cartoon Protests in Pakistan Leave 3 Dead
Religion of Peace makes it impact felt

From ABC News:
Mich. Man Sentenced in Sheep Abuse Case
"Brokeback Mountain II" hits theatres this summer

From ABC News:
Couple to Get Married at Funeral Home
Allowed groom to bury his manhood immediately

From ABC News:
Prison Overrun by More Than 100 Cats
Warden misunderstood convicted pimp's request for pussy

Picnic 2006-02-15

Today's picnic basket of items from my blogroll.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Four Things Meme

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Headline News 2006-02-14

From ABC News:
Iraq Vet Says Dems Made Him Drop Senate Bid
Explains: "Military training taught me to withstand conventional tourture, but not Howard Dean"

From ABC News:
Woman Allegedly Tries to Buy Pot From Cops
Attorney: "Needed to complete her cookware collection"

From ABC News:
Man's Elbow, Mistaken for Squirrel, Shot
Dick Cheney held for questioning

From ABC News:
Couple Reunite After More Than 60 Years
The divorce didn't work out

From ABC News:
Gay Bishop Is Treated for Alcoholism
Bush blamed

From ABC News:
Valentine's Day or April Fool's? Vienna gays unsure
Inability to read calendar a major problem for Austrian homosexuals, experts stumped

From ABC News:
Two more Britons arrested over Iraq abuse tape
Tape violates copyright of new ITV show, "Who Wants To Beat Up A Terrorist?"

From ABC News:
Scientists Discover New Assassin Spiders
Still searching for Suicide Bomber Spider

From ABC News:
Spam Slayer: Next-Generation Spam
Wil Wheaton signs with Symantec

From ABC News:
Britney Spears to Join Mardi Gras
Singer called most appropriate symbol of 'Fat Tuesday'

Picnic 2006-02-14

Today's picnic basket of items from my blogroll.