Thursday, November 27, 2008

Thanksgiving 2008

Today is Thanksgiving Day in the United States. It's a day set aside for giving thanks for the many blessing we have received. Many families will gather together, many good times will be shared, and many meals will be consumed. But there are people who don't have families with whom to gather together, who are suffering hardships and having trouble making ends meet, and are cold and hungry. Think about these people. While there are some people that you just can't help, there are many, many more you can. Find a way to help others as you recoginize all the blessings you have received. And don't forget to give thanks for what you have. Don't worry about what you don't have. The Good Lord has been very kind and gracious to use, allowing us to reap the benefits of living in the United States of America. Let's don't lose sight of that fact.
Thanksgiving Day, 2008 A Proclamation by the President of the United States of America Thanksgiving is a time for families and friends to gather together and express gratitude for all that we have been given, the freedoms we enjoy, and the loved ones who enrich our lives. We recognize that all of these blessings, and life itself, come not from the hand of man but from Almighty God. Every Thanksgiving, we remember the story of the Pilgrims who came to America in search of religious freedom and a better life. Having arrived in the New World, these early settlers gave thanks to the Author of Life for granting them safe passage to this abundant land and protecting them through a bitter winter. Our Nation's first President, George Washington, stated in the first Thanksgiving proclamation that "It is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favor." While in the midst of the Civil War, President Abraham Lincoln revived the tradition of proclaiming a day of thanksgiving, asking God to heal our wounds and restore our country. Today, as we look back on the beginnings of our democracy, Americans recall that we live in a land of many blessings where every person has the right to live, work, and worship in freedom. Our Nation is especially thankful for the brave men and women of our Armed Forces who protect these rights while setting aside their own comfort and safety. Their courage keeps us free, their sacrifice makes us grateful, and their character makes us proud. Especially during the holidays, our whole country keeps them and their families in our thoughts and prayers. Americans are also mindful of the need to share our gifts with others, and our Nation is moved to compassionate action. We pay tribute to all caring citizens who reach out a helping hand and serve a cause larger than themselves. On this day, let us all give thanks to God who blessed our Nation's first days and who blesses us today. May He continue to guide and watch over our families and our country always. NOW, THEREFORE, I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim November 27, 2008, as a National Day of Thanksgiving. I encourage all Americans to gather together in their homes and places of worship with family, friends, and loved ones to strengthen the ties that bind us and give thanks for the freedoms and many blessings we enjoy. IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this twenty-first day of November, in the year of our Lord two thousand eight, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirty-third. GEORGE W. BUSH
Thank God for all the things He has placed on this world for us.<

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

The most trusted name in made-up news

According to a recent Zogby poll, "37.6% of those surveyed, news sources on the Internet are considered to be the most reliable."

More than Fox News. More than CNN. More than MSNBC. More than the New York Times.

Think about that for a minute.

I mean, if people believe the Internet more than news organizations, does that mean that they don't trust CNN, but do trust

I don't think so.

There's something else on the Internet they trust. And what could that be?


Yes, blogs -- such as this blog -- are the most trusted source of news. That has to be it!

As a dues-paying member of the Internets, I, for one, am proud of the faith you have placed us.

Misplaced faith, to be sure. But we're not about to let your misguided notions of who to trust go to our heads.

We'll continue to make up stuff about liberals, never ceasing, never tiring, never stopping, ever growing, ever moving, ever rising till ... well, you get the idea.

Like CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, the New York Times, or any of those "news organizations," we'll continue to be make stuff up and to have a tremendous bias.

Unlike CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, the New York Times, or any of those "news organizations," we'll continue to be open and honest about making stuff up and about our bias.

You can trust us on that.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Now in 3-D

The NFL is planning on broadcasting a game in 3-D. They've got nothing on us. This blog is now in 3-D! It may take some getting used to. But it just takes a little bit of effort to appreciate the full effect of 3-D:
Now wasn't that worth it?

Chicken bacon ranch

I like eating sandwiches. Hamburgers are my favorite. But I'll eat sub sandwiches (Subway, Firehouse, Quiznos, etc) too. Lately, I've seen ads about Dominos new sandwiches. But we've never had them. The Wife and I decided tonight to try them. We stopped by Dominos, I went inside, and placed my order. It took longer than expected. You see, they messed up one of the sandwiches. Mine. The Chicken Bacon Ranch. I don't know how they messed it up, but the manager on duty notified me that there would be a delay, because they made an error in making my Chicken Bacon Ranch sandwich. No, I didn't ask how someone could mess one of those up. I probably didn't want to know. After a delay, I got the sandwich. And it was good. It was really good. But I really got to wonder... There's not much to a Chicken Bacon Ranch sandwich. There's chicken. There's bacon. And there's ranch dressing. And it's on a sandwich. I mean, the recipe is in the name of the sandwich. And they messed it up. What, did the fact that there were three ingredients confuse them? It makes you wonder. It really makes you wonder.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Supporting the auto industry bailout

After much consideration, I am in favor of the auto industry bailout. I don't make this decision lightly. I considered many factors, and have decided that it would be best if the U.S. government bailed out the Big Three auto makers. The thing most people forget is that the U.S. auto industry is more than Ford, GM, and Chrysler. Those are the big auto makers that are headquartered in Michigan. But that's not where all the cars are made. Tennessee, for instance, has GM plants. And Volkswagen is building a plant there. Nissan builds vehicles there, too. And Alabama. Mercedes builds vehicles there. Yes, there are Mercedes built in Alabama. Betcha didn't know that. And Honda vehicles, too. And Toyota. Georgia is getting a new Kia plant. They're hiring, by the way. What all this means is, while things are rough up north, the auto industry in the south is doing well. Or a helluva lot better than Detroit. I live in the south. Born here. Live here. Love it here. And that's why we need to bail out the auto industry. Up north. You see, all those blue states -- the ones with Democrat governors and Democrat Representatives and Democrat Senators and Democrat Legislatures --- have let the Democrats in power screw up their economies while down here in the red states --- the ones with Republican governors and Republican Representatives and Republican Senators and Republican Legislatures -- have had better economies. What I'm worried about is that all those folks that keep electing Democrats that screwed up those northern economies will move down here where the jobs are, register to vote, then elect Democrats to power that'll screw up things down here as bad as it is up north. So, I say bail out the auto industry. We've got enough problems down here in the south without a bunch do damn Democrats moving down here and screwing things up even worse. Bail them out. Or build a fence. Right about the Mason-Dixon line ought to do.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

For those that say this country doesn't have a prayer...

On January 23, 1996, Pastor Joe Wright -- at the time, pastor of the Central Christian Church, Wichita, Kansas -- offered this prayer to the Kansas House of Representatives in Topeka:
Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask your forgiveness and seek your direction and guidance. We know your Word says, "Woe to those who call evil good," but that's exactly what we've done. We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and inverted our values. We confess that we have ridiculed the absolute truth of your Word and called it moral pluralism. We have worshiped other gods and called it multiculturalism. We have endorsed perversion and called it an alternative lifestyle. We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery. We have neglected the needy and called it self-preservation. We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare. We have killed our unborn and called it choice. We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable. We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building esteem. We have abused power and called it political savvy. We have coveted our neighbors' possessions and called it ambition. We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of expression. We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment. Search us O God and know our hearts today; try us and see if there be some wicked way in us; cleanse us from every sin and set us free. Guide and bless these men and women who have been sent here by the people of Kansas, and who have been ordained by you, to govern this great state. Grant them your wisdom to rule and may their decisions direct us to the center of your will. I ask it in the name of your son, the living savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.
Some folks ... mostly Democrats ... didn't like it. Wright retired in 2006. His prayer continues to go strong, being passed around the Internet, with credit given to Paul Harvey and Billy Graham. I wonder if any sitting Congressman has enough guts to open any session of Congress with this prayer. I'm thinking not. And that says a lot about the state we're in today. And none of it good.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Obama plates

They're selling Barack Obama plates. See? I'm not making this crap up. Like he's Elvis. Or Dale Earnhardt. Can you believe that? Think about it for a second. Someone is using capitalism to make money off the image of a socialist. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Anyway, we've got a cat. And we pamper that darn cat. Actually buy cat food for it. And I don't mean Little Friskies in a box. I'm talking about stuff in pouches. And in cans. The single serving cans. That cost about a dollar each. I don't know why. I mean, it's a cat. But, it does say one thing about us. We like the cat. But still, we'll put the cat food in a paper plate. Or in a used Stouffer's lasagna container. Or something. But, we'd never put it on a Barack Obama plate. I mean, I spend a dollar for a single-serving can of cat food. That means I like my cat. So I wouldn't make the cat eat off a Barack Obama plate. But, I assume there are some actual uses for a Barack Obama plate. I just can't think of any.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Veteran's Day 2008

Today is Veteran's Day. It began as Armistice Day, noting the the end of the first world war, November 11, 1918. In the 1950s, it was expanded to become a day to honor all U. S. veterans. This country has been honored by the service of many, many men and women over the years, serving in the uniforms of our country. We should honor them, remembering all those that served, especially those that gave their lives in that service. As a veteran, I'm honored to have worn my country's uniform. As a citizen, I want to honor those that are wearing that uniform today.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Solving the financial crisis

I know how to solve the financial crisis in this country. Hire Rebecca Paul. No, really. Okay, for those of you who don't know who Rebecca Paul is, she started up the Illinois Lottery. Then was hired away by Florida to start up the Florida Lottery. Then Georgia hired her away to start ... you guessed it ... the Georgia Lottery. Then Tennessee came calling, and hired her to start up the Tennessee Lottery. She used to be a Republican, then her husband died, and she hooked up with a Democrat in the Tennessee state legislature. So I guess she's a Democrat now. Sort of like Theresa Heinz Kerry. Except Rebecca Paul actually did something. Anyway, hire her away from Tennessee to start up the United States Lottery. Run it like the lotteries she's set up in Illinois, Florida, Georgia, and Tennessee. That means that half the money goes into the winner's pot, 15% is used to run the lottery, and the other 35% goes to the treasury. And lots of money will go into the lottery. Poor people put big bucks into the lottery all the time. So that'll mean that Obama won't need to raise taxes on the rich. Or on plumbers from Ohio. And conservatives like me will get to watch poor people funding the government. Sure, babies will go hungry, and crack dealers might find a crimp in their business, but that's the price of success. And the best part? When some poor person wins and becomes a zillionaire, he'll end up in a higher tax bracket and learn to hate Democrats. There'll be more rich Republicans (not rich White Republicans, but we've got enough of those already). And the poor Democrats will pay for it. It's a win-win situation.

Explaining the tax system

It's making the rounds again. The parable that explains the tax system. It's been credited to several people, mostly professors at UGA or U of South Dakota. But the earliest reference I can find is from 2002, and it credits Moon Griffon:
Suppose everyday, 10 men go to dinner. The bill for all ten comes to $100. If it were paid the way we pay our taxes, the first four men would pay nothing; the fifth would pay $1; the sixth would pay $3; the seventh $7; the eighth $12; the ninth $18. The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59. The 10 men ate dinner in the restaurant every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement until the owner threw them a curve. "Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily meal by $20." Now dinner for the 10 only costs $80. The first four are unaffected. They still eat for free. Can you figure out how to divvy up the $20 savings among the remaining six so that everyone gets his fair share? The men realize that $20 divided by 6 is $3.33, but if they subtract that from everybody's share, then the fifth man the sixth man would end up being paid to eat their meal. The restaurant owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay. And so the fifth man paid nothing, the sixth pitched in $2, the seventh paid $5, the eighth paid $9, the ninth paid $12, leaving the tenth man with a bill of $52 instead of $59. Outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings. "I only got a dollar out of the $20," declared the sixth man pointing to the tenth, "and he got $7!" "Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man. I only saved a dollar, too. It's unfair that he got seven times more than me!" "That's true," shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get $7 back when I got only $2? The wealthy get all the breaks." "Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison. "We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor." The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up. The next night he didn't show up for dinner, so the nine sat down and ate without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They were $52 short! And that, boys and girls and politicians, is how the tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up at the table anymore. There are lots of good restaurants in Switzerland and the Caribbean.
There's a message in there somewhere. I'm sure of it.

United States?

I'm curious as to how the presumptive President-elect will proceed. So far, I'm not impressed. But he's not out to impress me. I do wonder if he'll be claiming a mandate, though. I'm not the only one: Copyright © 2008 Used with permission. All fees paid.

lolcat of the day

Meh. Job sux. Pay sux. Doan wanna get outta bed. more animals

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Mr. President

George Washington looked through his leveling instrument when he heard the sound of hoofs. He looked up, and saw the rider approaching. A small cloud of dust rose, tracing the path the rider was taken down the dirt road that worked its way through the plantation. It was wonderful here. He appreciated the life he had now. Was it life? He wasn't sure. He didn't care. He simply enjoyed it. The rider pulled up. "Mr. President," the rider said, tipping his hat. "Mr. President," Washington replied, returning the salute. "Are you going to see the results of the election?" John Adams, the rider, asked.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

I voted

Did my part today. Cast ballots for John McCain and Sarah Palin. Of course, I did it right. Wore an Obama'08 pin into the polling place. And they let me vote again. And again. Democracy. Ain't it great!

Obama vs Obama

Barack Obama's attack ad on himself: Thanks to: Mary Katharine Ham Tell me again why this guy's the favorite. Is is because we live in Bizarro World?

Monday, November 3, 2008

The Bucket Saga

lolworld "where's mah bukkit?" asks teh walrus. other walrus sez "oh noes!!1! ur bukkit iz gones" "i will finds it" walrus sez and he goes seekingz teh bukkit "oh hai! haz u seen mah bukkit?" walrus sez to kitteh "i did not looks at ur bukkit" sez kitteh walrus sez "helps me find mah bucket" "i can has cheezburger?" askz kitteh "halps me find mah bucket" sez walrus "kthx" kitteh sez 2 walrus but teh bukkit waz not founds teh walrus did his searches more at worldz ending, he have decided 2 goes in teh following world In Frank's World

El Hombre Negro

Hugo Chavez is reported to have said that he looks forward to talking with "the black man" in the White House. But, you know what? I bet he didn't say that. Oh, sure, Klingons speak English. Saw that on Star Trek. Cardassians, too. And the Borg. Romulans, Vulcans, Q, they all speak English. Even those green Orion slave women speak English. And those people on Twilight Zone that want To Serve Man, even they speak English. But Hugo Chavez doesn't. I looked up what he said:
No le pedimos que sea un revolucionario, que sea un socialista, no, sólo que se coloque el hombre negro que está a punto de llegar a ser presidente de los Estados Unidos (...) ojalá se ubique a la altura del momento que vive el mundo."
"El hombre negro." The black man. If I said that, I'd be in a world of hurt. But since Chavez said it, it's okay. Since Chavez is one of The Anointed One's friends. Anyway, Obama ... oops, I mean El Hombre Negro ... is Hugo Chavez' choice for President of the U.S. Even the Klingons, Romulans, Cardassians, Borg, or any other evil race has the decency to stay out of it. But, here in Bizarro World, it's a positive for Obama ... excuse me, I mean, El Hombre Negro ... to have someone like Hugo Chavez as a supporter. I miss my planet Earth.

BO says FO

Today, Barack Obama congratulated John McCain on his hard-fought campaign. Obama congratulates McCain A picture is worth a thousand words. Tell me again why this guy is leading in the polls? Is it that we're living in Bizarro World?

Obama cares for you ... as long as you're not related to him

Barack Obama called John McCain, Sarah Palin, and conservatives in general, "selfish" for opposing his plan to take your money and "spread the wealth around" by giving it to others.

Some Obama supporters, like Peggy Johnson, say Obama will take care of them:

Obama has had a lead with Hispanic voters for some time -- though that gap is closing -- because of how he's perceived regarding the immigration issue.

So, how do those perceptions bear up to the facts?

They don't.

Why would Obama take care of Peggy Johnson, when he won't take care of his own aunt?

She's been living -- illegally -- in a Boston slum for four years. And Obama isn't trying to help her stay here.

But, remember, this is Bizzaro World we're now living in.

What's the big focus of the story about Obama's Aunt Zeituni?

There's an investigation to find out who told.

Gosh, I miss reality. This whole Bizzaro World is taking some getting used to.

Obama in his own words: Jeremiah Wright

Barack Obama's words about Jeremiah Wright, Obama's former pastor: Wright was Obama's pastor for 20 years: Suppose James David Manning had been Barack Obama's pastor: Hat tip: Pat Dollard What would Obama be like? Would he be the same person? If not, then what kind of person is he now, having spent 20 years with his mentor, Jeremiah Wright?

Obama in his own words: Bill Ayers

Obama defends his relationship with Ayers: Obama and Bill Ayers: Bill Ayers, the terrorist who dedicated a book to political prisoners like Sirhan Sirhan: Obama knew Ayers. Obama worked with Ayers. Obama got money for Ayers. Lots and lots of money. The whole "when I was 8 years old" line doesn't fly, because he wasn't 8 when he launched his campaign in Ayers' home. He wasn't 8 when he served on several boards and programs with Ayers. He wasn't 8 years old when he used his position in the Illinois state legislature to get money for Ayers and his group. Tell me again why he's leading in the polls.

Obama in his own words: Teach sex ed to kindergarteners

Obama and sex education. Listen carefully to what he says 25 seconds in. Then hear Gov. Romney's response. Another version. This one, Obama sandwiched around a supporter: Obama says someone said something false about him. Then agrees with what was said. Tell me again why he's leading in the polls. Is it because we're in Bizzaro World?

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Bush, Cheney resign

A funny from Pat Dollard:
Bush And Cheney Resign In Pre-Election Shocker - Pelosi Sworn In As President
Read the whole thing.

McCain on SNL: QVC

The plates! The Ayers freshener! Funny stuff.

Not Obama's preacher

Suppose James David Manning had been Barack Obama's preacher: Things would be a little different now.

lolcat of the day

So tell me again why Obama is expected to win in any state that has a large coal economy

Latest polls (if you believe them) show Barack Obama winning in many of the largest coal-producing states.

Of the top 15 coal-producing states, Obama leads the polls in 6 of them, for a total of 89 electoral votes:
  1. Wyoming (338,900)
  2. West Virginia (158,257)
  3. Kentucky (130,688)
  4. *Pennsylvania (74,619)
  5. Texas (49,498)
  6. Montana (38,352)
  7. *Illinois (33,444)
  8. *Virginia (32,834)
  9. North Dakota (31,270)
  10. *Colorado (29,137)
  11. Indiana (27,965)
  12. *New Mexico (27,323)
  13. Utah (26,656)
  14. *Ohio (22,269)
  15. Alabama (19,324)
Totals in thousands of short tons, as of 2000. States marked with an asterisk (*) are listed as leaning/strong Obama by on November 2, 2008.

If McCain won those states, he'd win the election.

But here's the reality ... or so it seems: Obama leads in 6 of the top coal-producing states.

And Obama wants to bankrupt the coal industry:
Let me sort of describe my overall policy.

What I've said is that we would put a cap and trade system in place that is as aggressive, if not more aggressive, than anybody else's out there.

I was the first to call for a 100% auction on the cap and trade system, which means that every unit of carbon or greenhouse gases emitted would be charged to the polluter. That will create a market in which whatever technologies are out there that are being presented, whatever power plants that are being built, that they would have to meet the rigors of that market and the ratcheted down caps that are being placed, imposed every year.

So if somebody wants to build a coal-powered plant, they can; it's just that it will bankrupt them because they're going to be charged a huge sum for all that greenhouse gas that's being emitted.

That will also generate billions of dollars that we can invest in solar, wind, biodiesel and other alternative energy approaches.

The only thing I've said with respect to coal, I haven't been some coal booster. What I have said is that for us to take coal off the table as a ideological matter as opposed to saying if technology allows us to use coal in a clean way, we should pursue it.

So if somebody wants to build a coal-powered plant, they can.

It's just that it will bankrupt them.

Why would someone in those states want to vote themselves out of a job?

Maybe so they can get some of your wealth that Obama plans to spread around?

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Trick or Treat, Obama style

If it seems I'm all up in arms over Obama's "spread the wealth around" comments, then ... well, okay, you got me. I don't like it.

Not that he said it, because he's actually telling how he believes.

It's the belief that I don't like.

But, as this Gary McCoy caartoon from 2006 shows, it's nothing new:

Copyright © 2006 Used with permission. All fees paid.

[Hat tip: Jen. No, Kelly, not that Jen. Another Jen.]

Sturmabteilung? Or Schutzstaffel?

Barack Obama wants a "civilian national security force." Not the National Guard. Not the Reserves. But a new force.
We cannot continue to rely only on our military in order to achieve the national security objective that we've set. We've got to have a civilian national security force that's just as powerful, just as strong, just as well-funded.
What was that organization that Adolf Hitler had? Sturmabteilung? You know, the "Brown Shirts." Or maybe he wants to go straight to the Schutzstaffel, the "SS." Are those of us on the right the only ones that ever read books? Or that watched the Nazi shows on the History Channel instead of their "Search for Bigfoot" or "Roswell Uncovered" shows? Or that can think for ourselves?

Okay, maybe the chili was a little thick

Made chili the other day. Had some silly chili cook-off at work. I'm not known for my chili, but I figured, what the heck. And, of course, it came in last or something. The Wife isn't a big fan of my chili, either. She says it's too thick for her ... comfort, taste, something. Hers is lots ... LOTS ... thinner than mine. She thinks mine's too thick. I understand now. While watching the Georgia-Florida game today (don't say a word!), I decided it was time for chili. Good comfort food. So, I got up, went to the fridge, and pulled out the half-full pot of chili. A case (24 cans) of drinks was sitting sideways, up against the pot, with the plastic still on and a couple of cans out. Think one of those cases of Winn-Dixie drinks. 'Cause that's what it was. One came out and rolled off the shelf, bounced, hit the bottom lip on the fridge, and rolled out to the floor. I made an attempt to ... I don't know ... stop it, make it go back in time, something. That's when I dropped the chili. The lid bounced off, and the pot ended up ... upside down on the floor. Great. Just frickin' great. I shook my head, bent down, grabbed the handles, and picked up the pot, expecting the worst. Nothing. The chili was defiantly clinging to the bottom of the pot. Nothing on the floor. A half-full pot of chili was still half-full of chili. Thh Wife is right: My chili is too thick. Thank goodness.

Obama cars

The other day, I wondered about what would happen if the Obamabots actually took the day off to campaign for him.

I figured nobody would notice.

But, I'm now thinking I would notice.

There'd be nothing but American cars in the lot.

You see, I noticed some bumper stickers and window stickers on cars in some of the parking lots in Columbus (that's Columbus, Georgia, by the way).

Most of the Obama stickers are on foreign cars. Or toaster-looking cars.

Most of the McCain stickers are on American cars or trucks. Mostly Chevrolet, by the way.

Now, this isn't to say that all foreign car drivers support Obama. Nor that all Obama supporters drive foreign cars. Or that all American car owners vote McCain. Or... well, you get the idea. I'm not saying one equals the other. I owned a foreign car in the past. Once.

But I noticed that there appears to be a relationship. From the vehicles I've seen, most Obama stickers are on foreign cars, and most McCain stickers are on American cars.

I wonder why that is?

Of course I should have looked in the coffee maker if I wanted to find the corn chips

Saturday morning. November 1st, 2008. 10:24 AM. I've got the munchies. No, not because of THAT. Because, well, I like to munch on snacks. So, I look in the kitchen and find a bag of corn chips. A brand new bag of corn chips. But didn't I buy two bags the other day? Yep. Sure did. So, where's the other bag? Oh, I remember. We got in from work last night and were getting ready to go the the (high school) football game. The Wife asked me to fix her some chili. I had cooked chili the night before -- for a chili cookoff at work (I came in, like, last or something) -- and had lots left over. So, I dipped her out a bowl, nuked it, put the bowl on a plate and gave it ... and a new bag of corn chips ... to her. But that was last night. Did she eat the whole 9-3/4 ounce bag of Fritos? No, of course not. So, at 10:24 this morning, I asked her where the other bag was. She paused, thought for a second, then said "Look in the coffee maker." Well, of course. Corn chips in the coffee maker. I should have known. And, sure enough, there was the rest of the bag of chips. I, um... Well, um... Hmmm... (ahem) I'm, uh, not sure what to say. But at least now I know where she stashes her corn chips. I'm thinking she's got some squirrel in her. Or chipmunk. Maybe just a little. UPDATE: "If you'd made me coffee when you got up this morning, you'd have found the damn chips yourself." Yes, she needs her coffee.

Why I {heart} Sarah Palin

If the results are to be believed, I agree with Sarah Palin 82% of the time. Oh, and I agree with John McCain 74% of the time. Obama, Biden, Clinton? Not even close.