Friday, July 31, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-07-31

Things on my mind recently...
  • Obama charges for meals No word if 18% gratuity was added #tcot #
  • Has the deficit reach the Tolman-Oppenheimer-Volkoff limit? Is that why Congress can't stop? #tcot #
  • If Monty Python did a Hitler skit, would they have received the negative press Roseanne got? #
  • Cash-for-Clunkers broke because it was a success? So if Obamacare is a success, it'll run out of money, too? #
  • Robber caught in gas station with honey bun, RC Cola: Everyone knows Moon Pies go with RC! Honey bun? Sheesh! #
  • I've done the roasted peanuts in the bottled Coke for years. Decades. But someone told me to try peanuts in Dr Pepper. Very similar. #
  • I still don't "get" Facebook. Which is why this Facebook status update is coming from the Twitter. #
  • If you're from the South, and somebody running for local or state office won't put peanuts in their Coke, run him off with a stick! #
  • Firehouse subs Hook And Latter Fully Involved. Life is good. #
  • I'm tired of the m*****f****** crocs on this m*****f****** plane! #
  • Full tank of gas. 32-oz Coke. Wife has her Sookie Stackhouse book. And it's 207 miles to southeast Georgia. Hit it! #
  • Stopped for a refill. Wife told me the store had cake. But she didn't tell me the had red velvet cake. *sigh* #
  • Taking their mattresses out for a ride. #
  • When I win the lottery, I'm going to open a basket-making factory in Helena, GA called Helena Handbasket #
  • When Michelle was a young girl, did Lursa and B'Etor pick on her? #
  • Friday night buffet in a small SE GA town: fried chicken, shrimp, mac & cheese, taco. And that's just my plate. #
  • Got checked in to hotel in Brunswick. S-L-O-W Internet connection. BlackBerry is better choice tonight, #
  • Wife wanted Diet Dr Pepper. Hotel vending machine had none, so I pushed Diet Pepsi. It gave me regular Pepsi. Life sucks. #
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Thursday, July 30, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-07-30

Things on my mind recently...

  • Ah, breakfast: the most important meal of the morning! #

  • Cash for clunkers? How much can we get for Obama? #

  • From a position of strength, liberals negotiate. From a position of strength, conservatives secure the win. This is especially true in war. #

  • Football season starts soon. Can we get Congress to focus on the BCS and forget about health care? #tcot #

  • GA Gov: Dear Joe Biden, You're wrong. Love, Sonny #tcot #

  • I hate jumping from MS-SQL 2000 to 2005 to 2008 -- and back -- all in the same day. Maybe if there was such a thing called "consistency"... #

  • Not a fan of Luckovich, but this is funny Beer Summit II #tcot #

  • I just finished a meeting where the outcome was for me and one of the people in that meeting to plan a meeting. No, I am not making this up. #

  • Cop calls Gates a "jungle monkey," is suspended PETA demands cop be fired #

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Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-07-29

Things on my mind recently...

  • Debate over soon-to-be-banned swimsuits worn by Phelps and Biedermann Why don't they swim naked and settle everything? #

  • The sports guy doesn't wear pants. Film at 11:00 Bio of WTVM's Dave Platta #

  • Now the woman that called 911 on Gates is having a press conference. If only media-whoring was as illegal as traditional whoring... #tcot #

  • XM 70s On 7 is playing the greatest rap song ever: "Convoy" by C.W. McCall #

  • Just imagine how bad a week Obama would have had if he had made the cover of Sports Illustrated... #tcot #

  • Bryce Dallas Howard joins cast of "Eclipse" (Twilight 3) Okay, Twilighters, squeal like a little girl now. #

  • NYC sending homeless to Georgia Liberals want you to share the wealth while they share the poverty #tcot #

  • Are the Blue Dogs the 2009 version of the Gang Of 14? #

  • MI Rep. Peter Hoekstra (R): Dems looking for adult supervision What they need is a spanking and to be sent home. #tcot #

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Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-07-28

Things on my mind recently...

  • Biden's biggest disappointment of Georgia visit? The Braves weren't in town. #tcot #

  • If you voted for Obama, then I'm smarter than you. As is 45.7% of America. #tcot #

  • Columbus GA wants to hire a director of crime prevention I thought that was part of the police chief's job #

  • Hawaii health director: "I saw Obama's birth certificate." Lou Dobbs: Original was destroyed Which is the lie? #tcot #

  • Gibbs: Birth certificate issue is "made up fictional nonsense" Just like Barack Obama's qualifications #tcot #

  • Can all the right-wing birthers start supporting Ron Paul? That way we can keep our crazies in one place. #tcot #

  • Study: Texting increases crash risk 23 times Personally, I do not believe the stu...*OW* #

  • Carrie Prejean is happy with life out of the spotlight Palin/Prejean in 2012. Oh, and I'd vote for them, too! #tcot #

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Monday, July 27, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-07-27

Things on my mind recently...

  • Could Rick Sanchez look at himself in the mirror if he worked for Al Jazeera? #

  • Rick Sanchez is Hispanic? What part of Hispain is he from? #

  • Don't know if that woman I just saw walking downtown needs a shampoo or an oil change, but she needs to do somethong with that hair. #

  • You ever have one of those days where it seems like the people working ahead of you regularly use the phrase "Hey Moe, lookit this!" #

  • I say again: If a Harvard education means taught by Gates, a Harvard education isn't worth a bucket of warm spit. #tcot #

  • I Twitter, therefore I am. #

  • I wonder if Dick and Lynne Cheney would move to the 14th District of Texas and one of them oust the incumbent in 2010? #

  • No nudes on wine bottles in Alabama #

  • If you see someone breaking into your neighbor's house, report the color of hat, shirt, pants, shoes, vehicle, but not skin, you racist! #

  • It's warmer now than it was 12 hours ago. I blame Climate Change ® #

  • If the Gates arrest was about race, why didn't the police detain and arrest Gates' driver? #tcot #

  • Oh. Right. Never mind. #

  • At least Michael Vick didn't bet on his own team to win games. That would have totally unacceptable. #

  • Would a tax on Botox be considered a Value-Added Tax? #

  • Top party schools? Penn State, Florida, Ole Miss, UGA, Ohio U-Athens Yay! My daughter helped UGA make top five #

  • Top hippie school? Bard College An entire school that needs a haircut and an ass-kicking #

  • Russian Navy Reveals Its Secret UFO Encounter They put the "Red" in redneck #

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Sunday, July 26, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-07-26

Things on my mind recently...

  • Still sore from a day at Six Flags. #

  • I TiVo "Without a Trace" and "Cold Case," and keep confusing the slutty blond with the not-so-slutty one. I need to pay closer attention. #

  • Sarkozy hospitalized Another victim of Obama karma: Sotomayor (ankle), Clinton (elbow), Pope (wrist) #tcot #

  • Heaven, Hell, it's all the same to me #becauseimamoderate #

  • My favorite color is the rainbow #becauseimamoderate #

  • Texas police looking for illegal lawn waterers... Imagine the outcry if they were looking for illegal aliens #tcot #

  • Obama should send ACORN workers door to door, telling redneck about Cash For Clunkers. That would be fun to watch! #tcot #

  • Twitter needs to sweep the nekkid wimmin out again. #

  • House bill refers to mentally disabled people as "retarded" What a coincidence. So is the bill's author. #tcot #

  • Chinese experts grow live mice from skin cells Now, if only they could grow the president some balls... #tcot #

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Job security

Every time a group of crazies doesn't like the president, or something the president does, they call for his impeachment.

This is true for as long as I can remember. Well, almost.

I don't remember Eisenhower (president when I was born) or much about Kennedy. And I don't recall any "Impeach Johnson" movement. But, there was an "Impeach Nixon" movement. It went so far as to go to committee in the House of Representatives.

Some crazies called for the impeachment of Gerald Ford, following the Nixon pardon, but it was just crazy talk. Some crazy talk about Carter (particularly following the botched Iran hostage rescue attempt). Then, the crazies kicked it up when Reagan took office. Same with Bush the Elder.

Of course, Clinton was impeached, but acquitted.

And how can we forget the Impeach Bush movement. There are still some wanting him impeached. Told you they were nuts.

Now, there's an Impeach Obama movement. Google it; you'll get 2,210,000 results. At Bing, not as many, but still 217,000 results.

Let me state right now, in case you somehow missed it over the last several months, I think that Barack Obama is an incompetent oaf. He's not qualified to work the cash register at Hardee's, much less occupy the Oval Office. But impeach him?

Consider what would happen.

On the upside, we'd be rid of him. That's a pretty big upside.

The downside? Who's next in line? That's right, Joe Biden. For crying out loud, no rational person would want him in the White House.

So, could they both be removed from office at one time?

Look what happens then: the Speaker of the House assumes the presidency. That's Nancy Pelosi! Again, no rational person would want that.

Who's next? The President pro tempore of the Senate, Robert Byrd.

Okay, it's a mass impeachment then. It removes the president, vice-president, Speaker of the House, and the President pro tempore of the Senate. Who assumes the presidency then? The Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton.

Next? Secretary of the Treasury, Timothy Geithner.


  • Secretary of Defense: Robert Gates

  • Attorney General: Eric Holder

  • Secretary of the Interior: Ken Salazar

  • Secretary of Agriculture: Tom Vilsack

  • Secretary of Commerce: Gary Locke

  • Secretary of Labor: Hilda Solis

  • Secretary of Health and Human Services: Kathleen Sebelius

  • Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Shaun Donovan

  • Secretary of Transportation: Ray LaHood

  • Secretary of Energy: Steven Chu

  • Secretary of Education: Arne Duncan

  • Secretary of Veterans Affairs: Eric Shinseki

  • Secretary of Homeland Security: Janet Napolitano

See what I mean? Remove one, another takes over. Okay, maybe Gates isn't that bad. But the only other Republican, LaHood, ain't no prize.

What then?

Nothing. We're screwed.

Until the 2012 election.

Unless we screw around like we did in 2008 and get our asses handed to us. Think about that next time you decide to bad-mouth a conservative.

Except for Ron Paul. You can bad-mouth him. He's nuts. And so are his supporters.

Rick Sanchez: We're all the same except that I'm better than you

I don't follow Rick Sanchez, a CNN guy, on the Twitter. Because I don't watch CNN. That's because the channel is overrun with left-wing nutcases. Not as bad as, say, NBC, but still pretty bad.

Not everyone at CNN is a barking moonbat, though. But, enough are that I don't waste time weeding through the lefties.

In fairness, Fox News has some goofy folks, as well. Some on the left, but some nutcases on the right, too. But not as many nutcases as other channels. So, when I watch news TV, it's usually Fox News.

Now, having said all that, I wouldn't have know about what Rick Sanchez said on the Twitter if it wasn't for Gwyn's Mom.

Here's the summary: Rick Sanchez is a douche bag, and thinks he's better than the folks at Fox News. He also denies that, so he's a lying douche bag.

Here's what he said:

if i didn't believe in doing right thing, i'd be rich anchoring at fox news

11:19 PM Jul 24th from web

He followed that with:

do u know how much money i'd make if i'd sold out as hispanic and worked at fox news, r u kidding, one problem, looking in mirror

11:22 PM Jul 24th from web

Seems that Huffington Post picked up on what he said, and he didn't like it:

ok im back, just saw huffpost. good story but headline wrong! i say i couldn't work there, im not criticizing those who do. never said that

about 8 hours ago from web

I'm not here to support Huffington Post, but Sanchez did say that he couldn't look at himself in the mirror if he worked at Fox News.

What about those that could? Are their standards lower? Does Sanchez think he's better than them because his standards are higher? Seems that way, doesn't it?

Somewhere, in the midst of all this, he said this:

i guess people really are essentially same.

12:29 AM Jul 25th from web

I assume he meant "people really are essentially all the same" and not "people really are essentially sane." If "all the same," then he's saying that, well, he's just like everybody else, except that he's better. Because he has higher standards than the Hispanics that work at Fox News.

Sounds like something a douche bag would say.

Oh, and he offered this:

wow, really getting heat from neocons and far right wing fox viewers for saying truth. must have hit nerve

about 8 hours ago from web

No, Sanchez didn't hit a nerve. But he did offer more proof that CNN hires douche bags that think they are better than others.

Will it affect me? No. Well, okay, it gives me something to blog about. Because, you know, it's fun calling left-wing douche bags "left-wing douche bags." Try it. See? Fun.

It won't impact my TV news viewing. I already don't watch left-wing douche bags.

But, if you watch CNN, it's okay; I'm just better than you.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-07-25

Things on my mind recently...

  • Did Obama invite Crowley for a round of beer because Crowley is Irish? Was Gates invited out for a malt liquor? #

  • Yes, someone at Six Flags is wearing a shirt with a picture of someone in a casket. Redneck don't always mean White. #

  • Lost my BlackBerry on the Georgia Scorcher at Six Flags. Really. But I found it. I've used up my good luck for the week. #

  • To big men wanting to ride the Scorcher at Six Flags: it has a bicycle-type seat, with a belt that attaches from beneath. Think it through. #

  • I swear, if one more person tells me to "have a Six Flags day" I might lose it. #

  • At Six Flags, we sat on a bench next to an old wood building. A crowd gathered. I should have dressed better; they thought we were a show. #

  • Somebody got wet on Thunder River. #SixFlags #

  • Line at Superman (Six Flags) is running about 30 minutes ... for the Gold Flash Pass. The regular line wait is about ... 2 days. #

  • I don't want to sound uppity, but folks that paid extra for a specific time should ride ahead of ALL the regular riders at Six Flags. #

  • Can't somebody buy that elementary school age kid a belt? #

  • Exit line at Six Flags is as long as some rides. Maybe if I acted the fool, they'd throw me out & I'd get to car fas... #

  • If Harvard-educated means being educated by the likes of Henry Louis Gates, then a Harvard education isn't worth a bucket of warm spit #tcot #

  • Grandmother, granddaughter adopt "Trix," a shaved and marked up abandoned dog It's true: Trix are for kids. #

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Friday, July 24, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-07-24

Things on my mind recently...

  • In Obama's defense, if I was friends with terrorists like Bill Ayers, I'd say the police acted stupidly, too. #tcot #

  • I would have figured that Gmail spam filters would have stopped an email from -- but I would be wrong. #

  • Art Show Encourages People to Deface the Bible. #tcot #

  • If I order regular Coke and add Splenda, that's the same thing as a Diet Coke, right? #

  • Somebody put some ham on my mayonaise sandwich. #

  • Don't expect Obama to man up and apologize; thay would be out of character for someone who wears girly-pants and throws like a sissy. #

  • We know Obama wears girly-pants to ball games. On hot summer days, does he sit on the porch wearing a muumuu? #

  • Obama says he didn't mean to slight Cambridge police Obama amazed "stupidly" was seen as a slight #tcot #

  • Obama says he didn't mean to slight Cambridge police Being a race-baiting moron, he couldn't help himself #tcot #

  • Obama insults in public, "expresses regret" in private call Gingrich calls it "classy", I call it chickensh*t #tcot #

  • Spurrier publicly apologizes for Tebow slight Obama privately expresses regret for police slight #tcot #

  • Obama blames "media frenzy" Actually, it is the media's fault; they campaigned for Obama #tcot #

  • If Cambridge cops had shouted "Death to America" and beheaded Gates, then Obama would have apologized #tcot #

  • Obama: "I could have calibrayed those words differently" Translation: "The TelePrompTer is getting a thesaurus upgrade" #tcot #

  • Obama: "I could have calibrated those words differently" Translation: "The TelePrompTer is getting a thesaurus upgrade" #tcot #

  • Note to whoever put the Y key next to the T key: whay were tou yhinking? #

  • Car in front of me needs a bumper sticker upgrade. Current: Get off the phone and drive. New: Quit texting and drive. #

  • Okay, this is the 4th time this light has turned red and we still haven't made it through. We're now 2nd in line. Crossing fingers. #

  • White House bans Twitter Twit hates Twitter #tcot #

  • Black officer at Gates home during arrest supports arrest I wonder if Barbara Boxer can quote different black cop? #

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Party Time!

I'm starting to get confused. Okay, more confused.

We have two major parties in this country. The Democrats and the Republicans, in case you weren't sure. Either a Republican or a Democrat has won every presidential election in this country since the Crusades. Or Zachary Taylor's 1848 election, I forget which. And the last president that wasn't a Democrat or a Republican, and that didn't die in office, was John Quincy Adams, a Democratic-Republican (forerunners of Democrats), in 1824.

Over the years, it's been confusing. Both parties have had conservatives, liberals, and moderates. And still do. I know, I know, it's hard to believe there are any conservative Democrats, but, truth be told, there are. I can't name one, but trust me, they exist.

Today, it's generally considered that Democrats are liberal and Republicans are conservative. And most fit that mold. But not all.

The problem with that -- or one of the problems, anyway -- is that many members of a party will put party over ideology ... and even over country. Witness: the undermining of the military in the recent two election cycles.

So, what do we do?

The president can solve this. How? Appoint me as Political Party Czar!

I'll have power to assign politicians to the correct party. And create new parties if needed.

Obama, of course, gets booted from the Democratic party (sorry, Boss), but gets to lead the Socialist party. Nancy Pelosi will be in the Barking Moonbat party. As will be Harry Reid.

John McCain (sorry, sir) will be shifted from the Republican party (Meggie Mac, too) to the new Moderate party. Olympia Snowe, too. Or, maybe I'll make some of that group into Whigs. We don't have enough Whigs any more.

Some of the current Republicans will become Democrats, some Democrats will become Republicans, and ... well, some I need to think about longer.

Sure, it'll be hell having to meet with all the politicians and figure out what to do with them all. And, while I'm assessing and assigning all politicians in Congress to the proper party, Congress will have to be suspended, as will Executive Orders. This is to ensure that when further legislative or executive actions are taken, everyone is properly placed where they belong.

I don't make this promise lightly: I will take whatever time is needed to ensure that every politician is in the proper political party.

Could take years.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-07-23

Things on my mind recently...

  • Is it ABBA week in the news? SOS Waterloo The Name of the Game #

  • Obama's new theme song? (tip: AoSHQ ) #

  • Associated Press calls "BS" on Obama's #tcot #

  • Graves to be moved from old cemetery Final resting place doesn't mean final any more #

  • Scientists: Humans Naturally Glow in the Dark However, not all humans are bright #

  • After comparing Obama's statements against the truth, his pants should be declared a fire hazard. #tcot #

  • If the intent is to teach me to not take vacation days, I'm starting to take the hint. #

  • Why don't they salt the grits at IHOP? If people were concerned about sodium intake or other healthj concerns, they wouldn't eat at IHOP. #

  • Grits are now "gritz" ... and nobody told me! I'm so embarrassed! #

  • I wonder if we can get Barbara Boxer to quote Bill Cosby at Obama #tcot #

  • Instead of fixing the teleprompter, the current plan is to put a pull-string in Obama's back. #tcot #

  • Why haven't I heard more about the Black youths who beat up the White family in Ohio? Is the media racially profiling stories? #tcot #

  • It's not profiling to pull over a young man who wears his cap sideways; it's illegal in 47 states to impersonate Charlie Brown. #tcot #

  • Hey! What happened to all the nekkid girls that was following me on the Twitter? #

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Police accused of profiling in mistaken identity arrest of youth

Sebastopol, California (AP) - St. Paul police officials are defending themselves against charges of profiling following the arrest of a juvenile at a Little League facility.

Police Chief Jeffrey Weaver said officers acted appropriately in responding to reports of a break-in at the downtown facility. However, attorneys for the juvenile said the police overreacted and used profiling tactics, citing the youth's clothing, including the gang colors similar to the Latin Kings gang, as well as the sideways wearing of his cap.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-07-22

Things on my mind recently...

  • The good news about Democrats voting on bills they haven't read? It means conservatives can oppose them without reading them either! #

  • Obama "rescued the economy" In other words, "We had to destroy the economy to save it." #tcot #

  • Palin to feds: Alaska is sovereign state Maybe she resigned as governor to become President of Alaska? #tcot #

  • Conservative kiosk not allowed at mall I wonder if Spencers still sells Obama t-shirts there? #

  • The best things in life are free. The worst things in life are free government programs. #MyOpinion #

  • The only things we have to fear, are fear itself ... and spiders. #MyOpinion #

  • If Obama was really a socialist, he'd be trying to control banks, the car industry, and health care. #MyOpinion #

  • The best Superman movie was the one that wasn't made. #MyOpinion #

  • If God really wanted this country to survive the coming holocaust, He wouldn't have given us Obama #MyOpinion #

  • TiVo proves the existence of higher beings #MyOpinion #

  • Only an idiot would spend a vacation day sitting on his couch, Twittering #MyOpinion #

  • Since scientists say that the human race started in Africa, all Americans are African-Americans. #MyOpinion #

  • If somebody took all of Elton John and Bernie Taupin's money, they'd write good stuff again. #MyOpinion #

  • Only an idiot would spend a vacation day driving around, using a BlackBerry to Twitter at stoplights. #MyOpinion #

  • The three saddest words in the English language: No XM Signal. #MyOpinion #

  • Those new McDonald's Angus Burgers taste like McDonald's burgers. Hardee's still owns the market on tasty fast-food burgers. #

  • Chris Mathews is seeking a sex change so he can have Barack Obama's baby. #tcot #

  • Now, they want to put a warning label on my wiener #tcot #

  • Woman Found Dead at McDonald's Food Processing Plant Another reason I prefer Hardee's #

  • I hate it when the help desk at work calls me when I'm on vacation. Especially at 4:19 AM. Yes, AM. I've been stewing all day about that. #

  • From 43 weird things said in job interviews: "If I get an offer, how long do I have before I have to take the drug test?" #

  • Soylent McNuggets #

  • McDonald's does its part to assist with Obamacare #

  • Dodgers MiLB P Brian hear it said: "Girls drive me crazy. If being gay wasn't so gay, I'd definitely be gay." #

  • Cubs minor leaguer on trial for beaning a fan #

  • Taco Bell Chihuahua dies #

  • Obama bin Lyin': "This isn’t about me." vs "You're going to destroy my presidency" #tcot #

  • Feds say travel to Chicago, Denver, Portland, Washington, Milwaukee Guess who approved cities voted for? #tcot #

  • Anyone who thinks government running things is bad, doesn't appreciate the efficiency of the DMV, Post Office, or IRS #tcot #

  • Ft. Myers Beach fires town manager for marrying porn star Her Website (NSFW): #

  • Saad bin Laden, Osama's son, killed by Hellfire missile #tcot #

  • Q: What was the last thing to go through Saad bin Laden's mind? A: Nosecone of a Hellfire missile #tcot #

  • How are Democrats writing bills they haven't read? Do they have 1000 monkeys with typewriters working for them? #

  • When tonsils are outlawed, only outlaws will have tonsils #

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Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Makin' Bacon out of a Molehill

Well, well, well.

It's seems I got somebody's goat. Or pig. Or something.

A post I wrote that appeared both on my little blog and at IMAO has garnered the attention of Ace of Spades HQ. Okay, it was the IMAO posting. They've never heard of my little blog.

The took extreme exception to my ridiculing the purchase of ham by the government. The government didn't like people poking fun at them either. The Secretary of Agriculture went so far as to issue a statement that they bought a lot of ham for that price, not just 2 pounds. They said they paid $1.50/lb., which is about twice what you can find it for on sale at your favorite grocery store.

Heck, I thought we did good, poking fun at government spending. I even got a jab in on the Twitter, saying that "In 6 months, Obama has taken government spending from pork to ham." Some folks didn't get it, completely unaware that ham is a special cut of pork, missing the backhanded jab.

So, what's Ace of Spades HQ -- good folks, by the way -- got to do with all this?

It seems they've declared war on IMAO over it. Because I "dared to insult ham and by association all other delicious pork products (including bacon) by questioning its value under current economic recovery programs."

I understand why they're targeting IMAO. It's one of the big fish. My little blog is ... well, small. It's not worth their efforts. They're targeting the big boys. Like when weasel lawyers go after big companies when some regular guy does something to offend some thin-skinned cry-baby. IMAO is the big blog, so Frank J., Harvey, SarahK, spacemonkey, Right Wing Duck, et al, are now targeted. Over something that I wrote.

Well, let's set the record straight, shall we?

I was called "a blogger named after an herb." They are referring to "basil," pronounced "BAY-sill." In fact, my name is "Basil," pronounced "BAZ-il," a name of Latin origin that means "kingly."

My love of pork? I would not say that it's legendary, but I would say it goes back as far as I can remember. I dare say I've slopped more hogs than most of the commenters ... and bloggers ... at Ace of Spades HQ. I'd wager that many of them have never heard of slopping hogs.

Most of them have only been to pig barbeques in just one state, much less in multiple countries, as have I.

How many of them, I wonder, can say that their relatives were known for the pork products they served in their hometown?

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Bacon is a regular around here at breakfast. As it should be.

Unless I eat breakfast on the way to work. Then, it's either bacon or sausage, depending on my mood. And where I eat. If it's Cracker Barrel, then it's ham, bacon, and sausage (the Sunrise Sampler®).

And, it's just not Christmas around the house here without ham sandwiches while we open presents. Ah, the smell of the Christmas ham cooking when morning comes!

Heck, I bet these supposed pig experts don't even know the words to Peter Percival Patterson's Pet Pig Porky. I had the album.

However, I will say that I'm not ape-sh*t crazy over pork products. And, I like Spam®, because it's made of pork shoulder and ham. It tastes great. It's spam (UCE) that I don't like. Many pork purists don't care for Spam®. But they probably don't like peanut butter and jelly.

So, if the folks at Ace of Spades HQ have a problem with anyone, it's with me. Not with the good folks at IMAO. Heck, guys, check out the sidebar! I'm listed on the blogroll, not as one of the official bloggers list. I'm merely a guest. Frank J. has been kind enough to allow me to post from time to time. Taking aim at Frank J. is unfair.

If any of the pork posers at Ace of Spades HQ have a problem, it's with me.

And, if any want to settle this, we can settle it like men. That's right: Barbeque pork ribs at 20 paces. Warning: I'm from Georgia; I'll make you squeal like a pig.

Thoughts for 2009-07-21

Things on my mind recently...

  • USAToday: Since 1945, after 180 days in office, Obama's approval ratings are lower than every president but Ford, Clinton #

  • Georgia white men hit hardest by recession Yay! We're now officially oppressed! Liberals must take up our cause! #tcot #

  • Fox: Gas Sniffing + Taser = Human Torch My kinda math #

  • German Cops Nab Thief With 1,000 Pairs of Underwear Step 1 of 3 completed. Now, to find that Step 2 #

  • Former cannibal seeks love Ladies, if he says you look good enough to eat ... run! #

  • Biden says Ukrainian women "beautiful." And he was ingesting Coke when he said it #

  • Indian astrologers say eclipse will plunge world into chaos Ha! Too late! #

  • Carver-Columbus coach bans UGA recruiters Now Erie Community College won't have to compete with Georgia for talent #

  • You think that if the Congress were to reinstate the draft that Obama would move to Canada? #

  • TV report: Alarming number of iPods have suddenly burst into flames iPods cause Global Warming -- at an intense rate #

  • Camel-milk chocolates to be sold in Europe, Japan and U.S. #

  • Are you bat-shit crazy, looking for that special person who's also bat-shit crazy? And Republican? #tcot #

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Monday, July 20, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-07-20

Things on my mind recently...

  • Minor League pitcher Brian: The stages of Ryan Seacrest Which stage are you? #

  • Note to anyone who decides to get on the computer while spouse is sleeping: turn the volume down. And thanks for the loud Citi ad, Drudge. #

  • New Apple app helps you find marijuana Turns your iPhone into a iPot #tcot #

  • Leaving Destin. Just punched in the address to the house in the GPS. It said the "destination cannot be reached via road." Yes, it's Monday. #

  • One of the drawbacks of being from the South (the only one) is never learning how to eat hash browns. Fork? Spoon? I want my grits! #

  • Just saw two grown men riding a motorcycle. One motorcycle. Two burly guys. Sorry, but you can't do that and look cool. #

  • We are on the section of US-98 where 55 means 45... to SOME people! #

  • The jackass at the gas pump ahead of me never heard of pulling up to a parking space before shopping. Probably voted for Obama. #

  • I've never figured out why Chevrolet would name a truck after a Brian Dennehy movie. #

  • Sister was just in Wal-Mart behind a woman using a food stamp card. Sis saw her outside ... driving a new Nexus with satellite radio. #

  • Why do people driving 2 MPH over the speed limit slow to 10 MPH *under* the limit when they see a state trooper? #

  • Did somebody steal a FedEx truck in Dothan? Or do they have a real lax dress code? #

  • Lake Eufaula has a bunch of plants that look like something from Outer Limits. Wife wants one. The plants done got her! #

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Lunacy (lu·na·cy pronunciation: ˈlü-nə-sē) noun

Etymology: lunatic (1541)

1 a: insanity b: intermittent insanity once believed to be related to phases of the moon

2: wild foolishness : extravagant folly

3: a foolish act

The moon doesn't make people crazy. However, it sure does help point to crazy people.

Take Whoopi Goldberg. Please. Take her far, far away.

The former Captain Planet and the Planeteers star has questioned the moon landings. Really.

Personally, I'd like to see "Buzz" Aldrin take a shot at her. Like he did this idiot:

Aldrin, though, is too much of a gentleman to punch a woman. Even Whoopi Goldberg.

So, Whoopi thinks the moon landing was a hoax.

I wonder what else she believes?

  • Vampires are real

  • Republicans are not real

  • Aliens landed at Roswell

  • JFK was killed by LBJ

  • Elvis is alive, working at a KFC in Memphis

  • Dinosaurs killed off the Neanderthal

  • The Wright Brothers faked heavier-than-air flight at Kitty Hawk

  • JFK is alive and living in the Caymans

  • Volcanos would be a great place to detonate hydrogen bombs

  • Bush lied, people died

  • Men in black are trying to read her brain waves

  • Global warming causes frostbite

  • Shakespeare wrote the screenplay to Homer and Eddie

  • Walt Disney's frozen corpse stands in for Millard Fillmore in the Hall of Presidents at Disney World

  • The face on Mars is hers

I suspect this list isn't complete. Anyone have any ideas what else she might believe?

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-07-19

Things on my mind recently...

  • All You Can Eat Breakfast Buffet, I accept your challenge #vacation #

  • Wife just put peanut butter on her strawberry. (And, yes, I'm talking about food.) Do normal people do that? #vacation #

  • Those sure are some skinny cinnamon rolls on the breakfast buffet. Maybe if I eat them all, I'll get skinny, too. #vacation #

  • It's raining! Raining! Who comes all the way to the Gulf Coast just to get ... wet? #vacation #

  • The Baby Ruth bar from the hotel gift shop has a game code for a contest that ended May 20, 2008. #vacation #

  • Ron Paul says Palin suporters are "establishment, conventional Country-Club type of Republicans." And nothing says Country Club like ... me? #

  • Does Ron Paul throw positions in a hat and draw them out? Or does he just forget to take his meds? Like his supporters? #

  • Leftover thought: Barbara Boxer telling a friend, "The coloreds might look alike, but they don't all think alike. Who knew?" #

  • $1,191,200 for 2 pounds of sliced frozen ham? In 6 months, Obama has taken government spending from pork to ham. #TCOT #

  • Record lows hit Georgia cities Must be all that Global Warming ® #TCOT #

  • Enjoying supper tonight! #

  • Of course, the volcano #

  • Took Wife to a sushi steakhouse. Turns out she wanted Sookie Stackhouse. Thank goodness there's HBO in the room. #vacation #

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What's the government going to do with all that ham and cheese?

I assume you saw where the government, as part of its economic recovery program, has purchased $1,191,200 of ham. How much ham is that? Two pounds. No, really. (Hat tip: American Thinker and KOSMOSNET)

Don't get discouraged. If you think all the government does is pay lots of money for ham, you'd be wrong.

They also pay lots of money for cheese. $1,562,568 for mozzarella cheese. (Hat tip:

Now, to be fair, it doesn't say exactly how much cheese the government gets for $1,562,568, but I have enough faith in my government to believe that it's enough to go with $1,191,200 of ham.

Assuming that's the case, what's the government going to do with all that ham and cheese?

Feed the world.

Remember, Jesus fed five thousand with five loaves of bread and two fish. Surely, Obama can do better.

There were only about 200-300 million people in the world during Jesus' lifetime. That's less than the number of people living in the U.S. today. Shouldn't be a problem for Obama, should it?

With all that ham (TWO POUNDS ... and it's SLICED!) and cheese (mozzarella, no less) the government bought, world hunger will soon be a thing of the past. And, for the measly price of $2,753,768 it's a bargain!

Ham and cheese for everybody!

Oh. Except for the Jews.

And the Muslims.

Oh, heck. I think I've found the flaw in the plan.

I wonder if there's any way Obama can blame this on Biden? Or Bush?

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-07-18

Things on my mind recently...

  • Finally! Hotel has fixed Internet connection in the room. I guess the person who knows how to hit the reset switch on the router showed up. #

  • I just saw myself in the mirror this morning. Scary! #

  • Looks like somebody stole the pictures and left the frames at the hotel. When the staff notices, they're gonna freak! #

  • Anybody know what is standard gratuity for the beach chair/umbrella dude? I don't really want to walk all the way back to the car. #

  • Life is good. #

  • Nothing beats paying $25 to rent a chair on a private like having a hairy Cubs fan park in front of you. #vacation #

  • Weinermobile crashes in Wisconsin I saw Weinermobile on I-10 in Florida yesterday. How many are there? #

  • Okay, it's been long enough for the count to three to restart. Cronkite is one. Waiting on two and three. #

  • Who's killing all the folks in Florida? Last week, the "cheaper by the dozen" couple. Now, 3 condo neighbors #

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Friday, July 17, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-07-17

Things on my mind recently...

  • Kissed Wife's hand, then asked about her hand lotion. She said she hadn't used any, but had changed water in fish tank. Ew. Just ew. #

  • We just saw the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile on I-10 in Florida. I'm excited. It's my first time. #

  • GPS has gone crazy. Or needs a serious update. It thinks we're in a corn field or something, miles from pavement. Technology sucks. #

  • I hate bridges. Especially those with a left turn in the middle of them. #

  • Speed limit keeps going from 45 to 55 to 45. They do that to screw with tourists. #

  • Sign says, Beaches Left. All that driving for nothing! #

  • We have arrived at our Destin-ation. Our room isn't ready. They say by 4:00. But they mean Central Time. Killing time. #

  • Eating a late lunch. Huge plate of food. Wife told me my saying "Holy Crap!" immediately before "Lord, make us thankful..." was just wrong. #

  • Wife doesn't like my using the Twitter at the table, either. She... OUCH! ... #

  • Padded swim tops for little girls. Who are the boobs that came up with this idea? #

  • Finally! Got checked in. View from the room balcony: Gulf coast of Florida. #

  • Wife is also sitting on the balcony, pretending to read a book, but actually watching the shirtless, tanned, blonde dude carry equipment. #

  • Told Wife that I saw her watching the guy carrying equipment. She said he had nice equipment. #

  • Looks like some couple is about to get married on the beach. Best wishes, whoever y'all are. #

  • Wireless Internet in the room isn't working for either Mac or XP machine. Desk says call Cox. Cox says call desk. This could get ugly. #

  • In the hotel lobby, I can get on the Internet with my Mac. But not in the room. Will go try the room again before I raise Holy Hell. #

  • Okay, I can access Internet from beach deck at hotel. I should be able to access from the room, right? #

  • Walter Cronkite's body dies 41 years, 5 months after his journalistic integrity #

  • NYPD Investigating Motivational Speaker's Murder Was the body found in a van down by the river? #

  • Low tide #

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Thursday, July 16, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-07-16

Things on my mind recently...

  • Was still wet from the water rides during the ride home. However, a shower -- washing the water off, I suppose -- helped. #SixFlags #

  • Off work today. Life is great! Woke up at normal time anyway. Life sucks! #

  • Jo re-tells it like it is #

  • Giant Mystery Blob Moves Through Alaskan Waters The anti-Palin media leaves our 49th state #

  • Social Security spends $700,000 on conference Don't worry, it's only tax money. It's not like you paid for it. #TCOT #

  • A Justicte Sotomayor wouldn't write anything that even remotely resembles the Constitution. Unless she makes an "s" look like an "f". #

  • ATM shoots pepper spray at thieves Stole idea from Naked Gun movie. Remember the anti-graffiti wall? Spray-painted vandals #

  • Moon landing tapes got erased, NASA admits Part of the cover-up of the fake moon landing, obviously #

  • Biden: "We Have to Go Spend Money to Keep From Going Bankrupt" #TCOT #LiberalLogic #

  • Abortions save lives #LiberalLogic #

  • You cannot legislate morality, but you can legislate immorality #LiberalLogic #

  • We have to destroy the economy to save it #LiberalLogic #

  • The most qualified Supreme Court nominee is one whose rulings are routinely overturned by the Supreme Court #LiberalLogic #

  • Increase the size of government to make it more efficient #LiberalLogic #

  • Biden tells Ohio lawmakers Columbus GA gets no funds for NCR move Columbus says Biden got facts wrong #

  • Whatever happened to the Roebuck Tower? #

  • Twitter is a job qualification at Best Buy Actually, this explains a lot #

  • Just returned from Columbus Lions (AIFA) meet-and-greet with grandson. Wife is watching Twilight. Again. #

  • Wife just told me that New Moon posters are already up in theatres. Trailers can't be far behind. Next movie, I'm showing up 30 min late. #

  • Zell Miller: Use Gorilla Glue on Obama’s chair #TCOT #

  • Zell Miller: Spending like Paris Hilton, regulating like Nader, nationalizing like Chavez, and taxing like we’re Democrats #

  • Obama administration defends Bush wiretapping Does this fall under "Hope" or "Change?" #

  • Retired general, lieutenant colonel join reservist’s lawsuit over Obama's birth status #TCOT #

  • I'm still amazed that the fact that most of Sotomayor's cases appealed to SCOTUS are overturned doesn't seem to matter. #TCOT #

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To the moon

As I write this, it was 40 years ago, to the hour, that Apollo 11 lifted off on its voyage to land man on the moon.

I was watching the coverage on NBC, with Frank McGee hosting. On our first color TV. And, for the next several days, I was glued to the TV, watching the coverage of the moon shot. Well, except when they interrupted it to cover some silly Chappaquiddick thing where some drunk killed some woman.

The lunar coverage was fascinating. I had been watching Star Trek (also on NBC) on whatever night it came on from one week to the next. But this was REAL! We -- Americans -- were sending people to the moon!

It was an amazing and wonderful time. I turned 11 years old during the Apollo 11 mission, and was aware that, in my youth, we were landing on the moon. The future was unlimited.

That was 40 years ago.

And it's been nearly 37 years since an American last walked on the moon.

Today, we're supposed to be more technologically advanced than we were 40 years ago. And, we are. But we couldn't land a man on the moon if we wanted to.

If we were to, we'd have to throw bunches of money at it. And it'd take years to pull off.

Money and technology aren't the solution. Attitude is. Those days, America -- and particularly NASA and the astronaut program -- had a "can-do" attitude. That can-do attitude is what landed us on the moon.

It generated the money and technology to make it happen.

That's the problem today: we think money and technology are means to an end. They aren't. They're by-products of success. And attitude makes success possible.

Lot's of people today don't understand that. And worse, many don't believe it.

I believe it. I lived through it. It's real. Those of you that lived through it know what I'm talking about.

The good news is, some of you that weren't around during that time also understand and believe it.

We need more of you.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-07-15

Things on my mind recently...

  • Plane crashes in Iran, 168 believed killed How long before Iran blames U.S? And before Obama apologizes? #

  • More flags, more fun. Heading to Six Flags. #

  • Nephew and female "friend" came to Six Flags with us. He commented on kid on a leash. He doesn't see the one his "friend" wields. #

  • Everybody else figured Wednesday was a good day to go to Six Flags. More flags, more fun? More people, more lines. #

  • Before ride- Me: You might want to take your hat off. Grandson: I'm okay. After ride- Me: Where's your hat? Grandson: (pouts) #SixFlags #

  • Wife only rode Splashwater Falls becaise I told her the last row didn't get wet. She believed me. Bwa-ha-ha. #

  • Looks like the entire cast of Deliverance is at Six Flags. Not Burt Reynolds, Jon Voight, Ronny Cox nor Ned Beatty. But everybody else. #

  • Last Six Flags trip, I wore khaki pants. They got wet on Thunder River. This time, I wore jeans. They got wet, too. Next time, no pants. #

  • I wonder if a Harold and Kumar theme park would make it. Leopard rides, NPH/unicorn rides, whore houses, and White Castle burgers. #

  • It's Dirty Hippie Day at Six Flags. I've seen a s**t-load of dirty hippies wandering around. #

  • Three of the Six Flags over Georgia: Spain, France, England #

  • Two of the Six Flags over Georgia: US (1776), Georgia (19th century), US. What's missing? Confederacy. PC trumps his... #

  • Long line for my favorite ride: the tram to the parking lot. #SixFlags #

  • Was still wet from the water rides during the ride home. However, a shower -- washing the water off, I suppose -- helped. #SixFlags #

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Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Second notice

Got my second notice from the Republican National Committee today.

They sent it in an orange envelope, with the red words "SECOND NOTICE" on the front.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, over!

A "second notice?" Like I owe them some money or something?

So, what did they say? What did the letter say?

Thoughts for 2009-07-14

Things on my mind recently...

  • Soldier balks at deployment; says Obama isn’t really president If only... #TCOT #

  • Sex hormones and painkillers found in Chicago drinking water I'm sure this explains something about Obama. Not sure what. #

  • If a prince kisses Sonia Sotomayor, will the spell be broken and she turn back into a princess? #

  • Dogs understand gestures as well as toddlers Are dogs as smart as toddlers, or are toddlers as stupid as dogs? #

  • Texting teen falls into open manhole Wile E. Coyote's daughter out for a stroll #

  • Obama to throw out first pitch at MLB All-Star Game? Did they play baseball in Kenya? #TCOT #

  • Obama to throw out first pitch at MLB All-Star Game If pitch is like Obama, it will be high and way to the left #TCOT #

  • Dinner roll at Picadilly Cafe at the mall is very hard. Good news is that, in case of pirate attack, it can be used as a weapon. #

  • How to defeat Sotomayor: Bake the hall in the candle of her brain #TCOT #

  • Soldier who says Obama isn't president doesn't have to deploy, Army says #

  • Billboard saying Martin Luther King was Republican angers Black activists MLK was no more Republican than Lincoln was #

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Nobody tell Frank J. about the monkeys using their minds to control robots

Sky News reports that, at the University of Pittsburgh, a monkey fitted with a hi-tech brain chip has learned to move a complex robotic arm using mind control.

You read that right.

Monkeys controlling robots with their minds.

One science guy, who wears a lab coat, says it's all for the public good:

Neurobiologist Dr Andy Schwartz said: "What we're trying to do is go to a very dextrous hand - where the functionality is very similar to the human hand. If we could help stroke patients there would be a huge market for this kind of device."

I'm not sure, but I think the guy that's the mad scientist behind this is a nice guy. But letting monkeys control robots?

Don't let Frank J. find out. He's got a lot on his mind right now, what with writing all teh funneh, making up lies about the president (but true lies, not those awful false lies), and planning the birthday of someone who is very special to him (and the rest of us, too).

That's a lot of pressure. He doesn't need any more. Especially since he has to find the perfect birthday present for his wife. All married men know that if you don't find the perfect gift, you might as well just dig a hole, crawl in, and cover yourself up. Your life is over if you screw up the wife's birthday present.

So, Frank J. doesn't need any extra pressure. I sure won't do anything to cause any extra pressure on him. About his wife's birthday.

And this story about monkeys controlling robots with their minds might freak him out. 'Cause it's freaky.

I mean, do you get the idea that scientists are like rednecks, only with test tubes and laboratories instead of beer cans and deer stands?

I mean, a redneck will get liquored up, hop on a four-wheeler and try to jump his mom's car. He'll make it about half-way across. It's like, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" Then they've got a "Here's Your Sign" winner.

Same way with these scientists. "Hello, colleagues, observe this!" They wire up a monkey to a robot and let it control it with its mind.

We've all been worrying about SkyNet taking over. And, if it does, it will be a cross between Terminator and Planet of the Apes: monkey-controlled robots.

There's a storm coming ... and it's a mad house, a mad house!

Monday, July 13, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-07-13

Things on my mind recently...

  • Ah, back to work. It's Monday ... and Thursday. Got Wednesday, and the rest of the week, off. Life is good. #

  • Cricket bat vs toy gun. Cricket bat wins. #

  • My watch band broke last night while doing laundry. Ran to Wal-mart (only place open) to get another. Was cheaper to buy a new watch. #

  • Girl at work broke her foot. Rescuing kittens and children from a burning orphanage. Either that or she fell off her porch. #

  • Mohawk Granny just walked by downtown. Haven't seen her in weeks. #

  • I assume it's okay for the Firehouse Subs truck to park in the fire lane? #

  • If someone riding a Rascal crosses the street illegally, is it still jay-walking? #

  • Dems say Sotomayor's statements and over-turned rulings don't matter. Proving you can't judge a book by its content. #TCOT #

  • At the Columbus Lions football game with grandson. Lions vs Reading (PA) Express. Winner goes to AIFA championship in WY or UT. #

  • Columbus Lions pre-game warm-up. #

  • Columbus Lions fans are coming out for the game. #

  • Small crowd for a playoff game. Columbus doesn't support local pro sports. #

  • Halftime: Reading 36, Columbus 28 #AIFA #

  • This has nothing to do with enjoying the game. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. #AIFA #

  • End 3Q: Reading 50, Columbus 36 #AIFA #

  • Final: Reading 60, Columbus 51 #

  • Post-game prayer by Columbus and Reading players #AIFA #

  • Sympathy to the Barack Obama family. They lost a loved and valuable staff member. Teleprompter committed suicide #TCOT #

  • Democrats say Sotomayor's statements and over-turned rulings don't matter. Proving you can't judge a book by its content. #TCOT #

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Sunday, July 12, 2009

Government way of doing things

In the Army, I found that things, the way government regulations require things be done, sometimes things got unnecessarily complicated. Let me give you an example.

Suppose you received a document and initialed it on the line where it indicated that it should be initialed. Like this:


Now, suppose that you received it in error, or initialed it where someone else should have initialed it. What do you do?

You erase the initials and initial the erasure.

Let me explain.

To "erase" something, you draw a single line through it, then you initial your erasure. Like this:


So, if you initial something in error, you can correct it if you erase your initials and initial your erasure.

I admit, there's a certain logic to this. But step back for a minute and look at it in the whole scheme of things. It's silly.

The fact of the matter is, things sometimes go wrong. I mean, if people are involved, things can go wrong.

Government involvement doesn't accommodate certain things. Like errors. Or common sense.

And that's the real irony of liberals and their desire for government to "help." Liberals say that they truly care about people. Or snail darters. Or baby seals. Or Gaia. And they want to use the government to make it all better. Like the government is your mommy taking care of your skint knee.

That's why the idea to let government run things -- car companies, banks, health care -- is a bad idea.

Your mommy cares. Government regulations don't care.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-07-11

Things on my mind recently...

  • Drunk, diarrhetic badger disrupts Berlin traffic Bruno returns home #

  • UK police probe Gitmo torture claims No word on UK police involvement in Jackson death investigation #

  • Cab Driver Beheads Self in Bizarre Suicide Finally! Proof that crazy people are crazy #

  • Buckingham Palace Sets Up Twitter The Twitter has officially become uncool #

  • Polish Woman Sues Egyptian Hotel Claiming 13-Year-Old Daughter Got Pregnant From Swimming Pool WTF?! #

  • Astronaut Couple in Controversial Love Triangle Engaged Astrosluts are finally tying the knot #

  • Study: Ugly men more fertile, produce more sperm during sex I suspect there's a seed of truth to that study #

  • Study: Ugly men more fertile, produce more sperm during sex Actually, my first thought was "come again?" #

  • Giants' Sanchez tosses no-hitter Saw him pitch in the minors in 2005. He had potential. Obviously. #

  • I just took "What stereotype do you fit?" and got: Prep! Try it ➔ #

  • I just took "What kind of Republican are you?" and got: Fiscal Conservative! Try it ➔ #

  • Wife has ordered and read dozens of supernatural romance books. I don't understand. And, no, I don't want you to explain it to me. #

  • With THOUSANDS of supernatural romance books on Amazon, there is a market there. Let me try: "It was a dark and stormy night..." #

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