Friday, October 30, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-10-30

  • My sisters should not be allowed anywhere near the internets. They are like me, but with a sense of humor. No, that's not a compliment. #
  • Joe Lieberman confuses me. A liberal with balls. There are so few of those these days, it almost scares me when I see them. #
  • The SEC publicly criticizes an officiating crew, suspending them. The Tennessee coach criticizes SEC officials and is fined. Go figure. #
  • Remember when the president of the United States was also leader of the free world? Those were the days. #

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-10-29

  • If you've always wanted to stalk Miley Cyrus, you need to go to Savannah to do it. It's legal to do it there. #
  • Tried to order off the Ruby Tuesday lunch menu. Imagine my surprise to find they don't have one. #
  • Food was good, service was terrible at Ruby Tuesday today. However, the manager noticed and took action. That's better than some places do. #
  • Just saw the cover of Cosmo at the checkout. I'm wondering if I really want to know what number 43 is. #

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Gay babies plan to take over the world

Where do babies come from?


All this time, you thought it had something to do with "when a man loves a woman..." Or, maybe a Barry White song instead of a Percy Sledge (or Michael Bolton) song.

That is so early 21st century. We've moved beyond that.

Scientists have created eggs and sperm from stem cells.
Scientists at Stanford University in California found the right cocktail of chemicals and vitamins to coax the cells into becoming eggs and sperm.

The sperm had heads and short tails and are thought to have been mature enough to fertilise an egg.

The eggs were at a much earlier stage but were still much more developed than any created so far by other scientists.
While this is certainly interesting, what if babies realize that they don't need men or women in order to be born?

Sure, the average baby isn't all that smart. A typical infant is only slightly smarter than the average Democrat. But what about those Baby Einsteins that the Disney company made smart?

Don't be fooled. Those Baby Einsteins are smart. They figured out how to get smart, then get their money back from Disney. Scary smart, those Baby Einsteins.

So, if smart babies learn how to make other babies, they'd probably make more smart babies. Then we'd be overrun with smart babies.

Not worried about that? Read that whole article again. Especially this part:
The science also raises the possibility of 'male eggs' made from men's skin and 'female sperm' from women's skin.

This would allow gay couples to have children genetically their own
Think about this. What if genius gay babies try to take over the world?

You know what? They'll succeed?

Who would fight them? If it was Godzilla, we'd send the Army out to fight them. But it's not Godzilla. It's smart gay babies. We can't send the Army to fight smart gay babies. They're babies, for crying out loud.

On the other hand, maybe Obama would make his mind up to take a stand against smart gay babies. But I doubt it.

Smart babies, yes, he'd send the troops to fight against. But smart gay babies? That's part of his constituency. The gay part, not the baby part. Or the smart part.

So, if babies tried to take over the world, Obama would fight against them. But if smart gay babies try, we're screwed.

And not in the way that we used to make babies.

Watching the "best" movies: Entering the home stretch

I've been a movie fan ... including an old movie fan ... for years. Ever since the mid-70s, when I'd get off work after midnight and go home after playing 5 hours of rock-and-roll on the radio. Too wired up to sleep, I'd turn the TV on and watch movies until I fell asleep. I got to watch a lot of old movies then. One of the Savannah TV stations (WTOC) had decided to go 24 hours, and did that by showing old movies.

I watched, and loved, movies by Errol Flynn, Humphrey Bogart, Ronald Reagan, James Cagney, Cary Grant, ...

I learned that I really liked movies.

In 1998, the American Film Institute released lists of what they consider the 100 best movies. They updated the list in 2007. And they came out with other lists. Then the Academy Award winners are supposed to be the best movies of that particular year. I wrote a little more detail about these lists here.

Anyhow, I put the lists together, and came up with a list of 222 movies.

I've been watching them, and have only a few on the list that I have not seen (this list is updated as I watch them). TiVo and Netflix have helped, to be sure.

I hope to finish the list by the end of the year. Or, at least by the time another Academy Award® winner is announced.

I don't know what I'll do with all my spare time then. At least, until baseball season starts.

Thoughts for 2009-10-28

  • Working late isn't all that bad. Okay, I lied. I really hate it. #
  • Don't you just hate people that drive the speed limit? Yeah, so do these people driving all around me, giving me dirty looks. #
  • Somebody made fun of me because I TiVo the news. I'm going to cry now. #

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-10-27

  • Griese suspended for Montoya "taco" comment Is it racist that I first heard about this in the drive-thru at Taco Bell? #
  • Working late is for losers. Yes, I am a loser. #

Monday, October 26, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-10-26

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Not with a 10-foot poll

It's that time of year again.

Yes, it's time for me to make snide remarks about the BCS. And football polls in general.

I've held back this year because ... well, truth be told, I hadn't got around to complaining out loud. No other reason.

Anyway, I'm ready for my first rant of the 2009 college football season.

Let's start with Iowa.

They won their game with Michigan State, and, according to Sports Illustrated, that means it's time to take the Hawkeyes serious as a national title contender.

Yes, you read that right. Beating 4-3 Michigan State (now 4-4 Michigan State) -- the same Michigan State that lost to MAC team Central Michigan -- on a last-second touchdown qualifies them for national title consideration.

Alabama, meanwhile, dropped from number one in the AP poll, after what an SI headline describes as "escaping" against Tennessee. The same Tennessee team that lost 4 games by a 5-point average: a 2-point loss, two 4-point losses, and a 20-point loss to top-ranked Florida.

Then, there's Boise State. Last week, the BCS though they were worthy of number four. After creaming Hawaii by 45 points ... they dropped to number seven.

No, I don't think Boise State is that good of a team. Most of the SEC could beat them. Heck, a third of the teams in the ACC could beat them. But still, number four drops to number seven after a 45-point win? Does this mean they shouldn't have been number four last week?

I'll tell you what it means. You have a lot of people who should have real jobs involved in picking who plays for a make-believe national championship.

There should be a playoff. And, for the last couple of years, I've laid out the plan. I'll do that again, soon, in case you haven't seen it. You won't like it. But it will work. It's doable. And it makes a heckuva lot more sense than the way they do things today.

Relax, it's an emergency

I am declaring a national emergency over the H1N1 virus. It's an emergency, so I'm signing it now.

But, I'm going to wait until the next day to announce it. I mean, what's the hurry?

We must take whatever steps we can to make sure that we have flu shots for everyone!

Except for my kids.

The rates of illness continue to rise rapidly within many communities across the nation, and the potential exists for the pandemic to overburden health care resources in some localities.*

There! Thatc ought to help get that health care bill through the Senate. You owe me one, Harry.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-10-23

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Life of Barack

Democrats are an opinionated bunch.

Yes! We are an opinionated bunch!

You know, the other side, they just kinda sometimes do what they're told.

Yes! They just do what they're told!

Democrats, y'all thinkin' for yourselves.

Yes! We think for ourselves!

I don't!*

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Star Trek, Episode 41: "I, Obama"

Captain's log, stardate 4513.3. After having been taken over by an android, the Enterprise has been underway at warp 7 for four days. Now, we are entering orbit around a planet which has never been charted. Beaming down to this Class K planet, we hope to find who is behind this takeover of my ship. Welcome! Welcome, Captain, to you and your crew! I don't believe it. Barack Obama. How did you get here - we left you in custody on Rigel after that you were exiled from Earth... A misunderstanding, to be sure. I prefer to say that I left Earth willingly, after spreading Hope And Change® all around. On Earth, I ruined -- I mean ruled -- but one nation. Here, I rule an entire planet. How did you come to be the leader here? Did you reprogram the androids to vote for you? Reprogramming androids is not all that different from reprogramming humans. Easier, even. That is not logical. Androids do not have emotion. Therefore, they are immune to your emotional, but meaningless, phrases. And the logic circuits in the android brain would prevent them from voting from you if they analyzed what you say. Wait. We did not analyze what he said. We voted for him because he said we should. This analyzing what a candidate says is a new concept to us. We will consider this. Obama says that Fox News is merely a platform for the views of certain politicians. Yet he asks other news organizations to align themselves with his views. This means that Fox is not treated as a news organization because they represent an opposing political stance. But others are treated as a news organization if they represent his political stance. That is illogical. Illogical! Obama took four months to pick out a dog, but wanted massive spending bills rushed through Congress in days. That is not logical. When Americans did not have health insurance, Obama said Congress must rush through an expensive program without reading it. When American troops were in harms way and said they needed reinforcements, Obama did nothing. That is illogical. Obama believes that government can run things better than private business. So he wants your life run by the same system that runs the IRS, the postal service, the TSA... that is not logical. Illogical! Illogical! Obama's logic is flawed. This is not acceptable. There is danger. You are in danger. You should leave. Now see here. I have had enough of your shutting down, smoking out your ears, and calling me illogical. I rule this planet and I will not stand for this. No, it is we who will not stand for this. Your logic has caused malfunctions to androids here, just as it caused malfunctions to your country on Earth. We have devised a punishment for you -- one that will keep you under control without causing you harm. Barack! Barack Hussein Obama! Where have you been? What have you been up to? Nothing good, I'm sure – well, let me tell you, you lazy, good-for-nothing–

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-10-20

Monday, October 19, 2009

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-10-18

  • Saw a commercial for the "new" movie "The Box." I wonder if they'll end it like the 1970 short story, or the 1985 Twilight Zone episode. #
  • Colorado investigators screwed up the Balloon Boy case. Remember the JonBenet Ramsey case? When I go criminal, I'm doing it in Colorado. #

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-10-17

  • 54 degrees, eating ice cream at a high school football. Life is good. Just ignore the scoreboard. #
  • You know, it's a shame Michael Jackson died before he had the chance to do the music for a Roman Polanski film. #
  • I just got kicked off the big-screen TV football game for vampires and strawberry-peanut butter M&Ms. #

So exactly what was in the balloon?

The whole world -- or at least the part of the world that had nothing better to do -- was transfixed Thursday by the saga of the boy in the balloon.

First reports said that 6-year-old Falcon Heenes was on board the balloon, and people were horrified at that prospect. When the balloon landed, and the boy wasn't found, first fears were that he had fallen out.

When he was found hiding in an attic, speculation turned to the whole thing being a hoax.

But there's one aspect that people are forgetting: since Falcon was not on the balloon, what was?

Many are assuming that it empty. But was it?

Remember that the investigators said they believed the family when they said the boy was on the balloon. Then they believed the family when they said this wasn't a hoax. They also believed the family's timeline of events, such as calling 911 when other reports say they first called news outlets. Now, on Saturday, they're thinking they might need to check out this Heenes family.

Joe Friday and Bill Gannon these guys aren't.

So, I'm wondering... did these investigators even check out what was in the balloon? Or did they simply say, "Hmm, kid's not here" and let it go at that. Was something else in that balloon? And, if so, what?

I have some thoughts on what might have been in that balloon:
  • The 2009 Nobel Peace Prize ballots
  • Amelia Earhart
  • Barack Obama's college transcripts
  • The outtakes from the moon landing hoax
  • The 1993 Academy Award Best Actress ballots
  • Dick Cheney
  • CNN credibility
  • Apple's Mac tablet computer
  • The Third Secret of Fatima
  • Abe Vigoda
  • A map of Atlantis
  • A map of Atlanta
  • Barack Obama's birth certificate
  • Charles Dodgson's hand-written Jack the Ripper confession
  • The Higgs boson
It's hard to tell how much stuff could be hidden in the balloon, so I'm not sure how many of these items, or what else could have been on board.

There needs to be an investigation.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Thoughts for 2009-10-16

  • CNN can fact check an SNL comedy skit, but not their own stories that spread lies about Rush Limbaugh? #
  • Maybe Rush Limbaugh should drug and sodomize a 13-year-old girl. But do it in California, where it's acceptable. #
  • Ted Turner wants to run CNN again As crazy nuts as Turner is, he actually did a good job last time. #
  • Sure, Ted Turner did the whole stupid Captain Planet thing, but in balance, the Turner networks were better when Turner ran them. #
  • If Ted Turner got his networks back, would he carry Braves and wrestling again? If so, I support his efforts. #
  • I miss Ted Turner holding ostrich races at the Braves game. Turner is crazy nuts, but he's funny crazy nuts, not scary crazy nuts. #
  • I don't particularly like Ted Turner. But he does put on a great show. Except for Captain Planet. #
  • Is Dog The Bounty Hunter married to Bitch The Bounty Hunter? #
  • I just noticed how much Eric Carmen's "Never Gonna Fall In Love Again" sounds like Rachmaninov's Symphony #2. Eric Carmen should sue. #
  • Listening to Obama on the news gave me a thrill up my leg. Then I realized my BlackBerry was on vibrate and an email had arrived. #
  • Balloon Boy threw up on "Good Morning America" and "Today." It's okay, kid. I throw up when I see those shows, too. #
  • Before I forget: Happy Bossing People Around Day. And, yes, the folks on my team rock. #
  • By the way, you do know how to spell "boss" don't you? It's Double-S O B backwards. Those on the east coast, you can use that next year. #
  • Proof that white folks are stupid. #
  • Did I fail to mention that it's a cold night at the high school football game? #

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Why I didn't rush to defend Rush

Dan Riehl wonders why no Republicans came to the defense of Rush Limbaugh after he was attacked with lies over his desire to own part of an NFL team.

Well, I'm not a Republican. But I am a conservative. (A side note; I wish more Republicans were conservative.) And I can say why I didn't rush to defend Rush.

As a conservative, I feel that if the NFL doesn't want Rush Limbaugh to be an owner (even a minority owner), then he shouldn't be an owner.

I have no say in who owns an NFL team.

Now, in fairness, the NFL shouldn't be listening to the likes of Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, Jason Whitlock, or any of those other jackasses that attacked Rush. But did the league cave in to pressure? Or were they already a bunch of nutless douche bags?

I don't know. But, either way, if they don't want Rush to be a part of that group, then I'm okay with that.

I watch college football, not pro football, anyway. That's where the real money is.

Meggie Mac and the Twitter

Let's see what's on the Twitter today...

pretty much my image of @allahpundit is I am the chick from silence of the lambs and he is screaming at me in a hole 2 put lotion on my skin #



@allahpundit As I recall, Jame Gumb was trying to make an outfit out of his victim's skin, not reupholster a couch. #

I know what it feels like my weight is mocked every single time I do anything publicly, Jessica Simpson stay strong. those people r pathetic #


Excuse me? What are you looking at?

Um. Ah. What?

Aren't you a little young to be looking at my boobies?

Well, that's an old picture. I'm fully grown. And, so, apparently, are you.

My eyes are up here!

Sorry. What were you saying?

when I am alone in my apartment, I wear tank tops and sweat pants, I had no idea this makes me a "slut", I can't even tell you how hurt I am #

But I wasn't offended by the picture.

It wasn't just you. Lots of people made some mean comments.

That happens. But would it be better if people ignored you?

I said eyes are up here!


As I was saying, women shouldn't have to put up with being treated like this. People make comments about how we look, just because they don't like what we have to say about things.

Tell me about it!