Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Best and Worst of 2013

2013 sucked.

Okay, there were some good things in the year, but overall, it wasn't a great year. It was a bad year for many people.

I'd like to ask what, in your opinion, was the best and the worst of 2013.

Let me offer a couple of things.

Obamacare. And that's one of the best. No, not Obamacare in and of itself. That was way up near the top of the list for the worst. But, the fact that people finally understood what conservatives such as I have been saying all along: Obama and the Democrats are completely incompetent, can't be trusted, and will screw up anything they get near. Obamacare is such a massive fail, that even some of the idiots in my family that voted for that jackass have even come to doubt things. Not completely, since, as I said, some of them are idiots, but it's a start.

Anyway, the reaction to Obamacare is a good thing. It gives me a slim hope that people will understand that Democrats are to be avoided like the plague.

Worst of 2013? Well, on a personal level, it's the split. I haven't spoken much about it, but these things happen. Always puts a crimp in the finances, which is difficult when the economy is good, and really difficult when we're in the 5th year of Obama screwing things up. Oh, well. Stuff happens. It's not the first time I've been through this. Besides, I really don't want to talk about it.

How about you? What, to you, are the best and worst things of 2013?

Monday, December 30, 2013

So, what did you get for Christmas?

It's been a few days. You've had time to recover. Somewhat.

Now that the mess is all cleaned up ... or at least pushed aside so it's not completely in the way ... let's share our Christmases. I want to know what you got for Christmas.

I'll start.

I got time with the children, and with my grandson.

My son and his wife live in Brunswick, in coastal Georgia, about 20 minutes from his mother (X1). He worked every day but Sunday and Christmas, and I managed to spend some time with him, but not a lot. They were doing the thing where you spend one evening with one branch of family, another with a different branch, and so on.

My daughter, her husband, and son live near Boston, where my son-in-law is now attending business school. He's a former Army officer. They are spending the holidays (Solstice, Christmas, Kwanzaa, Boxing Day, New Year's Day, St. Basil's Day, the Epiphany, and whatever else is going on) in southeast Georgia. I drove over last week and spent several days there. I haven't had the opportunity to spend much time with my youngest grandson. He was born in Germany last year when his father was stationed there. I had the chance to visit when he was only a couple of weeks old. I saw him in July at my birthday when they moved back stateside. They've been in the Boston area since then, and this was the first face-to-face visit since the summer.

He was a little wary, and always clung to "Mama" and "Dada" when I approached. It wasn't just me. He did his grandmother (X1) the same way sometimes, too. After a couple of days, though, he didn't mind me holding him. And, the day after Christmas, when his mother and father wanted to go to the movies, he and his Papa got to spend some time together. We took turns pushing his stroller, walked around the mall for a while, shared a sandwich, and played Talking Tom on the iPhone. He likes it when Tom screams after you punch him in the foot.

After taking him back to his Granny's house, we played for a little longer. When it got to be late, I said my goodbyes ... he told his parents and grandmother "bye bye" and walked to the door with me. That was heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. The next day, his other grandparents were driving down to St. Simons, and they certainly deserve to spend time with him without my gumming up the works. So, that concluded the Glynn County portion of the trip.

Afterwards, I thought back on the time I got to spend with him, with the children, and with the rest of the family. I smiled, but then uttered the words that are often happy words, but on that day, seemed so sad: "Siri, drive home."

I had a good Christmas.

Now, tell me about yours.

Sunday, December 29, 2013

Classic Doctor Who Season One

I mentioned a this past week that I was watching the classic Doctor Who episodes. Harvey asked me to let him know if I found any redeeming qualities in them. After watching Season One, I'll give my impressions and perhaps answer his question.

I mentioned that I was only able to watch some episodes, since not all are available.

Turns out there are more of those than I thought. Hulu carries many episodes from the first season, but some episodes are missing from their lineup. Some, Hulu just doesn't carry (not sure why, but there's probably a good reason). Some simply no longer exist, after the tapes were destroyed. But, it seems, the Doctor Who world (that is, the shows legions of fans, not Gallifrey) won't let a silly thing like episodes not existing stop them.

Here's the deal. While Hulu carries 23 episodes from Season One, a total of 42 were made. Of those remaining 19 episodes, 10 exist, and 9 are lost/destroyed. But, I've watched them all. Kind of.

Turns out that DailyMotion has a lot of episodes available, including those missing-from-Hulu ten from Season One, plus two others that were reanimated by the BBC; those look like some of the Japanese cartoons you'll see on Adult Swim. That left seven missing episodes. Some fans have obtained the audio (the videos were destroyed, but audio tracks still exist) and made movies using stills from the missing episodes.

All that means I've now watched all 42 episodes from Season One.

To answer Harvey's question, I'm not sure if there are redeeming qualities. But, I find the show oddly appealing. It's a little silly at times, cheaply made like most TV from that era, particularly British shows. Some shows are played for laughs, others try to be serious.

One of the criticisms I read of The Reign of Terror series was that it expected the viewer to know some actual history about the French Revolution. And any show that treats the audience as if they're at least half-way intelligent can't be all bad.

In the first season, I learned why the TARDIS always looks like a Police Call box (the thingy that makes it change appearances to blend in with its surrounding broke after it landed in 1963 London), saw the Doctor's first encounter with the Daleks (I still they they look silly, with the plumber's helper coming out the front), heard him give a full name for himself ("John Smith," but he wasn't serious), and learned that the Aztecs spoke with British accents.

Redeeming qualities? Other than expecting the audience to have a little bit of sense, there's not much. But that, in and of itself, is head and shoulders above just about everything you see on TV today.

I'll watch at least another season of cheesy episodes. But, unless you really want to hear about it, I'll keep the reviews to myself.

For now, excuse me. I have a TARDIS to catch.

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Happy Christmas, 2013

The Gospel of Luke, Chapter 2
  1. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David
  2. To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.
  3. And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.
  4. And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.
  5. And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.
  6. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.
  7. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
  8. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.
  9. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.
  10. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,
  11. Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

All the Whos down in Whoville

It's that time of year. I'm never ready for it, but then, one day, it's suddenly upon me.

Yes, it's the NothingNewToBingeOnTheTV-time.

Quick background note: I went cable-free around three years ago. Wanted to do it because I thought it'd be cool. Wouldn't do it until it was cost-effective. I can use Hulu Plus, along with Amazon Prime, Amazon Instant Video (the stuff that's not included with Prime), and iTunes to watch all the TV I care to watch. (Not completely true, but the cost savings made it easier to give some shows up.)

Watching TV via the Internet is great for me. I watch everything on demand, and, if I want to catch up on a show I haven't seen, I can binge-watch. Kinda like what Frank J. did with Breaking Bad recently.

And, this year like every year, in December, I am caught up on previous seasons of current shows. Still some current shows airing, of course, which I can watch on Hulu Plus or buy a la carte from Amazon or iTunes. But, previous seasons of New-To-Me shows? I'm caught up.

So, that's when I start looking for older shows. Shows that are no longer on the air, but I never watched, but I heard are good shows. That's how I watched Battlestar Galactica (the 2005 version). I was all caught up on everything else, and said "Hey, what the heck." And, I liked it. Got weird at the end. Jimi Hendrix weird. Overall, though, I liked it.

Well, it's that time of year again. And, I've been hearing how great Doctor Who is. So, maybe I'll watch that, I thought.

Just kidding. I had no desire to watch Doctor Who.

I remember Doctor Who from way back. Used to catch an occasional episode starring Tom Baker on PBS many years ago. I thought the whole thing was silly. Not Monty Python silly. Just silly.

But, I kept hearing about how great Doctor Who (the current version) was. So, I looked into it. And, I found out it wasn't really a reboot, but a revival. They kept the original timeline in place, and began the 2005 series with the Ninth Doctor.

Mmmkay. Maybe this won't be the JJ Adams-ing of Doctor Who. Maybe I would watch it.

But here's the thing about me. I'm the kinda guy that will watch something from the start. I won't watch a Part 2 without having watched Part 1. A few years ago, I decided to watch all the Academy Award® Best Picture films (along with other movies considered the "best"). I got to the two Lord of the Rings movies. Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King won Best Picture. Now, I could just watch that and meet my goal. But that's the slacker way of doing things. No, I had to watch the first two movies in the trilogy first. And I hated each and every minute of it. Yes, I know, a lot of people -- good people -- love those movies. But not me.

What's that got to do with Doctor Who? Well, there were 26 seasons before the Ninth Doctor. 26 seasons. That's, like, more than a dozen. Almost two dozen. And, 20-30 episodes per season. Sometimes more.

So, to watch it? Or not?

I still thought the whole thing about the TARDIS looking like a Police Call box was kinda silly. But, then I found that Hulu was carrying many of the old classic episodes. Including many, many more than you can find on Netflix or Amazon. So, I started watching the episodes. And, lo! and behold! There in the first serial (4-episode "An Unearthly Child"), I get the answer to why the TARDIS looks like a Police Call Box. Kind of an obvious answer, but one that I never picked up on before.

Now that the TARDIS appearance issue is resolved, there's no reason to not watch them all. All 26 seasons. At least, of the episodes that are available. That's still a lot.

And, it's perfect timing, too. I've met the First Doctor, his granddaughter Susan, and the two school teachers The Doctor kidnapped. And, I'm expecting to meet his other relatives, including Cindy Lou Who, who's not more than two, in the upcoming shows.

I hope I'm not disappointed.

Monday, December 23, 2013

It's only Rock N Roll...

While traveling this weekend, I was flipping around the radio, and ran across SiriusXM 26, which is normally classic rock from the '60s and '70s, but was dedicated to the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame this weekend.

I had heard there was question in some minds about a few of this year's inductees, but I didn't bother with it. Seriously, what does it matter?

Until I was alone in a car for over five hours listening to some radio station telling me why these people deserved to be in the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame. Now, it is my mission in life to see that place razed, paved over, and an Indian casino put up in its place.

I do not claim to be an expert in rock music. Yes, I was a radio DJ in the 1970s, but that speaks more about my age than anything else. And it's that age thing that sorta matters. I was around then. I'm not being told what music was like and what the world was like. I was there.

When you look at the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame bio of Cat Stevens, it speaks of his bravery in converting to Islam. So, I guess they'll be inducting Muhammed Ali soon? Born as Steven Demetre Georgiou, Cat Stevens did have some hits in the '70s, but I wouldn't call "Oh, Very Young," "Morning Has Broken," or "Peace Train" rock anthems. Hippie music, sure, but that doesn't mean it's rock n roll.

And, sure, it wasn't a popular thing for a Roman Catholic-raised child of a Greek Orthodox and a Baptist (or anyone, for that matter) to convert to Islam around the time the Ayatollah Khomeini was putting together his return to Iran, Cat Stevens did that, taking the name Yusef Islam (which translates to Joe Moslem). But what's that got to do with the music? It didn't suddenly make "Moon Shadow" a rock song.

And Peter Gabriel? Seriously? Even the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame had a harder time coming up with a bio for him. So, they talked about other stuff:
The epic song “Biko” directly inspired the Artists Against Apartheid movement as he spearheaded the Amnesty International A Conspiracy Of Hope and Human Rights Now tours.

See. They shoulda just chucked Nelson Mandela in a hole in the ground and spent the entire ceremony playing Peter Gabriel songs.

Now, I will grant that his music is more rock that Joe Moslem's, but putting him in the Hall of Fame? That's like putting Mario Mendoza in baseball's Hall of Fame. The real one, not the one in Mexico.

And, speaking of Mexico, it seems that her album of Mexican music was enough to grant Linda Ronstadt admission to the Hall of Fame.

I remember playing a lot of her hit singles in the 1970s. That list includes...
"You're No Good"
"When Will I Be Loved"
"Heat Wave"
"The Tracks of My Tears"
"That'll Be the Day"
"It's So Easy"
"Poor Poor Pitiful Me"
"Tumblin' Dice"
"Back in the U.S.A."
"Ooh Baby Baby"
"Just One Look"

All cover versions of songs made famous by others. Which means that the band playing down at the Holiday Inn has a chance for induction next year.

I think I've calmed down now. I'll worry about more important things now.

Until I get back in the car to head home, and turn on the radio. Then I'll be ticked off again.

Friday, December 20, 2013

Kill switch

Some California lawmaker named Mark Leno says he's going to introduce a bill to require a "kill switch" on smartphones.

That means it will be possible for a user to turn shut down his cell phone if it's stolen.

Apparently it's too darn hard to contact AT&T or Verizon or whoever and have the carrier do that.

And, the "kill switch" capability that's already in an iPhone is too darn hard. Same for the "kill switch" capability of newer versions of the Android operating system.

No, you can't have companies like Apple and Google coming up with solutions that work for their customers. No, that's totally unacceptable. You have to have some silly Democrat write a law that tells companies how to do stuff.

I mean, it's worked so well for healthcare, right?

Here's what I want: a "kill switch" for stupid legislation. That's technology we could use.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Name that school

There's a school in Jacksonville that is going to get a new name.

Nathan B. Forrest High School (Go Rebels!) won't be Nathan B. Forrest High School much longer. The reason? Somebody didn't like who Nathan B. Forrest was.

So, who was Nathan B. Forrest? Other than Forrest Gump's ancestor? Well, he was a slave trader before the War Between the States, a Confederate general in the War, and a member of the first incarnation of the Ku Klux Klan after the war.

You may wonder how Nathan B. Forrest High School came by that name, particularly when over half the students are black. Well, neither they nor their parents were consulted in the naming, that's for sure. Most of the students at Nathan B. Forrest High School come from either J.E.B. Stuart Middle School (Home of the Raiders) or Jefferson Davis Middle School (Home of the Chargers). So, I assume you're seeing a pattern here.

Anyway, Nathan B. Forrest High School won't be Nathan B. Forrest High School much longer. The Duval County School Board voted to change the name. But they don't know what to. As soon as they come up with a name, they'll spend around $400,000 to change signs, stationery, uniforms, and such.

And here's where we can help.

Let's come up with a name for Nathan B. Forrest High School. Other than Nathan B. Forrest High School. Leave them in the comments. Whatever you do, don't call the school board directly. Leave the suggestions here, so the school board can get some really great ideas.

I'll start.
  • Generic High School
  • John Doe High School
  • He Who Shall Not Be Named High School
  • Cthulhu High School
  • James T. Kirk High School
  • John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt High School
  • Frank J. Fleming High School
  • Inigo Montoya High School
  • Heywood Jablome High School
  • Pussy Galore High School
  • Plenty O'Toole High School
  • Bond, James Bond High School
  • Jack Goff High School
  • Buster Cherry High School
  • Mike Hunt High School
  • Sofonda Peters High School
  • Oliver Klozoff High School
  • Jacques Strap High School
  • Seymour Butz High School
  • Hugh Jass High School
  • Amanda Hugginkiss High School
  • Blast HardCheese High School
  • Dirk HardPec High School
  • Smoke ManMuscle High School
  • Bob Johnson High School
Not sure if those will work. What ideas have you on the matter?

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

How did this happen?

It's not fresh news, but it's still shocking and surprising to me.

In Johannesburg last week, there the fake stood, on TV for the whole world to see. It was the funeral of Nelson Mandela, and one by one, dignitaries came to the podium and spoke. But it soon became apparent that something was wrong.

The picture above shows the problem. There is the fake, standing there for the cameras. He knew he was begin watched. He must have known that people would eventually realize that he wasn't capable of doing the job he was picked to do. He had no qualifications, and, based on statements that have come to light, is a serial liar.

Today, people realize he's a fake, and has even been the subject of derision on Saturday Night Live recently.

But, even after everything I've read and heard, I still don't understand how it came to happen. How, oh how, did Barack Obama ever get elected?

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Whitey Christmas

The big hoopla right now is ... no, not the president's lie about keeping your insurance. No, not the NSA unconstitutionally monitoring your phone calls. It is, of course, the controversy over Santa Claus being white.

Now, here's the thing: he is.

Or was. I mean, dead Greeks are white, right? Like 3rd century dead Greeks. Most Greeks today, and for centuries, have skin that's a little darker than mine, but lighter than some other people. Now, there are Caucasoid, Mongoloid, Negroid, and Australoid races. Early classifications included Australoid as Negroid, but that's no longer the case.

Anyway, Greeks? Caucasoid. White people, anthropologically speaking. Which means, Saint Nicholas of Myra was white.

Maybe that's not the Santa Claus you were thinking of. Sinterklaas, perhaps? Well, Sparky, that's the same dude. That's St. Nicholas in the Netherlands and places like that. And he's really white.

Now, there are other traditions that got all mixed in together. A little bit of Odin (white), some German (white) traditions, English (white) traditions, and so forth. Bunch of white folks all mixed together make up Santa Claus.

So, yeah, Santa's white.

But, does that mean he's only for white folks? That's just plain silly.

Now, if Santa's being white pisses you off, that's your problem. If you want to work Santa into your Christmas celebration, that's fine. And, if you're not yourself white, and want to dress up like Santa, go ahead. There's nothing wrong with that.

If you are, say, black, and you want to dress up as Santa, go ahead and do that. But, don't put white makeup on. It's rude for some white person to wear black makeup, and it's rude for a black person to wear white makeup. Unless it's for playing Ronald McDonald.

Heck, if you're a woman and want to dress up like Santa, that's fine too. Hell, dress your dogs and cats up like Santa. It's all good.

It's Christmas. Enjoy the season. If you want to get all worked up over black and white stuff, you can do that the rest of the year. Or, just become a Democrat. Then, you get to be all black-white divisive all year long.

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Remember when men used to play sports?

Major League Baseball plans to change the rules so that catchers won't be able to block the plate, and runners can't target the catcher.

You know the deal. Runner on the base path heads for home. Outfielder throws to the plate. Catcher stands just down the third base line to grab the throw and tag the runner out. Collision at the plate.

That's baseball.

Remember this?

July 14, 1970. Riverfront Stadium in Cincinnati. The All-Star game. The National League had tied the game at 4 with a three-run bottom of the ninth. Now, it's the 12th inning. The Angels' Clyde Wright is pitching in relief. He had thrown a no-hitter a week-and-a-half earlier and was in the middle of a 20+ win season. He got the first two batters, then the Reds' Pete Rose and the Dodgers' Billy Grabarkewitz hit back-to-back singles, putting runners on first and second. The Cubs' Jim Hickman then singled to center, and the Royals' Amos Otis fired the ball to the Indians' Ray Fosse who was behind the plate. The ball was just to the third-base side of the plate, and Fosse was in position to take the throw. Rose hit Fosse, who wasn't able to field the ball, and scored the winning run.

Those that were watching the game on TV that night -- me included -- will never forget it. That was a classic baseball moment.

Fosse was hurt on the play, but continued his career until 1979 when a different injury ended his career. He made it back to the All-Star game the next season, and won two World Series rings with the A's in '73 and '74.

Rose was later banned from baseball for gambling.

But that was in the 1970s when players played that way. 1980s too. That's when men -- hard playing men, real men -- played baseball.

Today, we have a commissioner who thought a tie All-Star game was a good idea, because it was late and people were tired. They had played 11 innings, after all.

No, it was no longer the 1970s when a 12th inning collision at the plate was how an All-Star game ended.

And now, the ladies that run Major League Baseball will make sure that never happens again.

I'm thinking they'll start pitching underhand soon. And ban spikes on shoes. High heels will be okay.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Cell phones on planes

Somehow, I either missed that the FCC was looking to allow cell phones on planes, or I blocked it out of my mind.

The biggest problem I see is that I won't be able to grab it from Chatty Charlie and toss it out the window. It's the window part that's the problem. They don't usually let you roll the window down on planes.

So, if I end up on a plane, and some jackass breaks out his Galaxy S 4 and starts holding a conference call, what are my options? Break out my phone and start with the Candy Crush?

Maybe I'll start up a conversation with him.
Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. That a phone? What kinda phone is that? Hey. Hey hey hey hey. Lemme see your phone. You get the Facebook on that? Hey. Hey hey. Galaxy S 4, huh? iPhone make those? Hey.
That might work, but I'm not sure what's the best approach. So, I decided to consult the experts on pissing off obnoxious people. That's you. The experts, I mean.

If they start allowing cell phone calls on flights, how would be the best way to handle some clown on a loud call?

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

A job for Obama

After January 20, 2017 -- a date which can't come soon enough -- Barack Obama will be in a position he's placed millions of Americans in: he'll be out of a job.

But, he has his eyes set on a new job already: he wants to host SportsCenter.

Now, some people laughed when they heard that. But consider: he has the qualifications.

For instance, I bet you thought the NBA team in Miami was the Miami Heat. Not so. Obama knows what no other person on this planet knows: it's the Miami Heats.

His bowling prowess is legendary. Not only did he bowl a 37 when he was running for president, after he took office, he compared his bowling skills to Special Olympics. That's the kind of skill and commentary that's missing from sports today.

Of course, he would bring a unique perspective to our nation's pastime. Not just the mom jeans, or his little sister pitching style, but his unique knowledge of Chicago's Kaminsky Field, which most residents of the Windy City don't even know exists.

Some of you say he has no qualifications to host SportsCenter. But, lack of qualifications didn't keep him out of the White House, did it?

What do you think? Is SportsCenter host a good fit for Obama? Or is there a better job out there for him?

College Football Playoffs 2013

Next year, the NCAA begins a 4-team playoff for the college football national championship.

This is in addition to the three other college football national championships the NCAA already has: Division 1 FCS (1-AA) on January 4, 2014 in Frisco, Texas; Division II on December 21, 2013, in Florence, Alabama; and Division III (the Amos Alonzo Stagg Bowl) on December 20, 2013, in Salem, Virginia.

Division 1 FBS (Division 1-A), finally gets a playoff of sorts next year. This year, it's still the BCS. And, as always, it's true that you can't spell BCS without BS. I don't know what to say about next year's "playoff" other than it's a half-ass attempt to get it right.

Here's what's right, and what I've been proposing for years: A 16-team playoff, consisting of a field of the 10 conference champions, with the highest-ranked non-conference champions completing the field.

The questions are how to pick the "wild card" teams, and how to seed the teams. Minor details. But, the major details are the 16-team field with the conference champs.

Now, how to pick the "wild card" teams? I'm gonna use the Coaches Poll. Or the BCS standings. They are close, but not quite the same, both in teams and in ranking.

First, the easy part: Here are the conference champs, who get an automatic bid:
Conference Champion Record Coaches Poll
Atlantic Coast Conference Florida State 13-0 1
Southeastern Conference Auburn 12-1 2
Big Ten Conference Michigan State 12-1 4
Big 12 Conference Baylor 11-1 5
Pacific-12 Conference Stanford 11-2 7
American Athletic Conference Central Florida 11-1 15
Mountain West Conference Fresno State 11-1 20
Conference USA Rice 10-3 31
Mid-American Conference Bowling Green 10-3 32
Sun Belt Conference Louisiana-Lafayette 8-4 NR

Now, we add the "wild card" teams.
Conference Team Record Coaches Poll
Southeastern Conference Alabama 11-1 3
Big Ten Conference Ohio State 12-1 6
Southeastern Conference South Carolina 10-2 8
Southeastern Conference Missouri 11-2 9
Big 12 Conference Oklahoma 10-2 10
Atlantic Coast Conference Clemson 10-2 11

I'd seed them by Coaches Poll, champions first -- kinda like the NFL does -- and match the teams up with Number 1 hosting Number 16, Number 2 hosting Number 15, and so on. And, I'd let the teams that lost in the first round still go to a bowl. The first-round losers will either be a conference champion, or a top 15 team. Most bowls would jump at either.

Here's the seeding:
Team Qualification Record Coaches Poll
Florida State Atlantic Coast Conference (Champion) 13-0 1
Auburn Southeastern Conference (Champion) 12-1 2
Michigan State Big Ten Conference (Champion) 12-1 4
Baylor Big 12 Conference (Champion) 11-1 5
Stanford Pacific-12 Conference (Champion) 11-2 7
Central Florida American Athletic Conference (Champion) 11-1 15
Fresno State Mountain West Conference (Champion) 11-1 20
Rice Conference USA (Champion) 10-3 31
Bowling Green Mid-American Conference (Champion) 10-3 32
Louisiana-Lafayette Sun Belt Conference (Champion) 8-4 NR
Alabama Southeastern Conference (Wild Card) 11-1 3
Ohio State Big Ten Conference (Wild Card) 12-1 6
South Carolina Southeastern Conference (Wild Card) 10-2 8
Missouri Southeastern Conference (Wild Card) 11-2 9
Oklahoma Big 12 Conference (Wild Card) 10-2 10
Clemson Atlantic Coast Conference (Wild Card) 10-2 11

And, here are the first round games:
  • Clemson at Florida State
  • Oklahoma at Auburn
  • Missouri at Michigan State
  • South Carolina at Baylor
  • Ohio State at Stanford
  • Alabama at Central Florida
  • Louisiana-Lafayette at Fresno State
  • Bowling Green at Rice
Some really good match ups in the first round, and some really lame ones, under my seeding. But, seeding is a minor detail.

Put a 16-team playoff like this in place, and, whoever is left standing at the end, whether it's an eighth-straight SEC team, a team from the Sun Belt, or one of the other quality teams on this list, and you'll have a true national champion.

Monday, December 9, 2013

Baby It's Khan Outside

It’s the Christmas season. And, of course, what would Christmas be without ... a Star Trek reference?

The song Baby, It's Cold Outside first appeared in the MGM feature Neptune's Daughter in 1949. It starred Esther Williams, Red Skelton, and ... Ricardo Montalbán.

[The YouTube]


Friday, December 6, 2013

To the moon!

It's been over 40 years, but I found out yesterday that a life-long dream is coming true. I'm going to the moon.

Naturally, since it's part of the government bureaucracy, I had to find out from a third party. NASA hasn't even contacted me yet, in fact. But, the news leaked out. I'm expecting a call from then any moment.

Frank J. was kind enough to put off nuking the moon for a couple of weeks. He didn't promise anything beyond that, but I think it's a reasonable compromise.

Anyway, I'm off to the moon. I guess I need to pack. I'm not sure what to take. I might want to take some snacks. Something to drink; Tang maybe. My iPad. Probably won't take any cash. I don't think I'll need it there. Besides, the moon takes VISA.

What else should I take?

I mean, if you found out you were going to the moon, what would you take?

Oh, and is there anything I can bring back for you?

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Wednesday, December 4, 2013


So, what's the Word of the Year?

Depends on who you ask. Is it "selfie," "tweaking," or some other silly word?

Well, if you ask Merriam-Webster -- I think she used to appear on Happy Days -- it's "Science!"


How did they pick that word?
This year's list was compiled by analyzing the top lookups in the online dictionary at Merriam-Webster.com and focusing on the words that showed the greatest increase in lookups this year as compared to last year. The results, based on approximately 100 million lookups a month, show that the words that prompted the most increased interest in 2013 were not new words or words used in headlines, but rather they were the words behind the stories in this year's news.
So, "knowledge about or study of the natural world based on facts learned through experiments and observation" is what people wanted to know.

That had to be a shock to the people that thought that "science" meant "Al Gore said it."

Other words on the list?
  • "Cognitive," which, I think, is a wine.
  • "Rapport," which is someone who wears his pants around his knees.
  • "Niche," who said "Out of chaos comes order."
  • "Metaphor." What's a metaphor? To keep cows in.
There are more. You should learn these words. Because words are good things. We use words every day. In fact, this whole things I'm writing uses words. And no words were harmed in the creation of this blog post.

Well, not permanently harmed.

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Microsoft Bra

Heard about the Microsoft Bra?


Mary Czerwinski is a Research Manager of the Visualization and Interaction (VIBE) Research Group at Microsoft, according to her Web page at Microsoft. She's working on a bra that has sensors that will be able to determine if the wearer is encountering stress. And, since stress often leads to over-eating, the Microsoft Bra is a diet aid.

And, apparently, it works:
The stress-busting bra was recently tested by a small group of volunteers who were able to get feedback on their moods. Microsoft built the sensor pads with a microprocessor powered by a 3.7-volt battery. It was able to sample up to eight bio-signal channels simultaneously, according to Czerwinski’s research paper...
Now, I'm uncertain how I feel about this.

Microsoft's Xbox is a good device. Let me clarify: I like the Xbox 360; I've never used an Xbox One. I've used a Microsoft Mouse, and liked it. Microsoft Office works pretty well, once I get used to where things are every release when they move everything around. But, I don't like Windows. Well, Windows 7 (which is actually Windows 6.1) works okay. XP worked alright. But Vista stunk up the joint. And, while I've not spent the money to get my hands on Windows 8 or 8.1, those I know that have, hate it on a desktop computer or a full-size laptop.

So, some stuff Microsoft gets its hands on works well, and some doesn't.

Let me ask you, ladies. Do you want Microsoft to get its hands on your bra? So to speak.

What do you think about the whole thing? Good idea?

Monday, December 2, 2013


There's a news report that some fast food workers in 100 cities are planning a strike.

Isn't that just special?

They want to get paid $15/hour to flip burgers or ask if you want fries with that.

Now, don't misunderstand me. There's nothing wrong with flipping burgers or asking if you want fries with that. But if that's your idea of a dream job, then you're a slacker and a drain on society. Running a McDonald's or a Wendy's? That's great. Owning one? Better. Flipping burgers? Not so much. That's an entry-level job, not a $15/hour job. And, if you think it is, you're part of the problem.

You know what, though? I think that a one-day strike won't get the job done. You see, if you don't show up for work without calling in sick, it's perfectly fine for the company to fire you. Then, not only do you not have to go to work on Thursday, you don't have to go in Friday, Saturday, Sunday, or any other day that ends in "y."

And December is the perfect time to pull a stunt that'll get you canned. Winter's here, it's cold. You got to heat the house. You might even want to get the kids a Christmas present.

But, tell you what. Why don't you just not show up on Thursday and tell the kids that it's all Bush's fault or Wall Street's fault. It's not the fault of the Democrats that have extended what would have been a year, year-and-a-half slowdown into a five-year economic disaster with no end in sight.

Go ahead and strike. There's plenty of unemployed that would love to take your job. Until they move up to a better job. Then, maybe you'll get your old job back. But not at $15/hour.

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Thanksgiving 2013

The first presidential Thanksgiving proclamation was issued by the first president, George Washington, in 1789:

Whereas it is the duty of all Nations to acknowledge the providence of almighty God, to obey his will, to be grateful for his benefits, and humbly to implore his protection and favor - and Whereas both Houses of Congress have by their joint Committee requested me "to recommend to the People of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness."

Now therefore I do recommend and assign Thursday the 26th day of November next to be devoted by the People of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being, who is the beneficent Author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be – That we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks – for His kind care and protection of the People of this country previous to their becoming a Nation – for the signal and manifold mercies, and the favorable interpositions of His providence, which we experienced in the course and conclusion of the late war –for the great degree of tranquillity, union, and plenty, which we have since enjoyed – for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enabled to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national One now lately instituted, for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; and in general for all the great and various favors which He hath been pleased to confer upon us.

And also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech Him to pardon our national and other transgressions – to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually – to render our national government a blessing to all the People, by constantly being a government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed – to protect and guide all Sovereigns and Nations (especially such as have shewn kindness unto us) and to bless them with good government, peace, and concord – To promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and Us – and generally to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as He alone knows to be best.

Given under my hand at the City of New York the third day of October in the year of our Lord 1789.


On this Thanksgiving Day, we hope you will take the time to consider the blessings that you have received, to give thanks for those blessings, and that you may be an instrument of blessing to others.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013


Tomorrow's Thanksgiving.

Some people call it Turkey Day, because of the tradition of eating turkey. You know what I call idiots that call Thanksgiving "Turkey Day?" Idiots.

It's for giving thanks. And we do need to be thankful for all the things we have.

So what should we all be thankful for?

The 22nd Amendment, for one thing. It will keep many Americans from proving their aren't just idiots, or idiots2, but idiots3. Many are, but at least that amendment keeps Americans from proving it.

I'm thankful for Obamacare. No, not because it will guarantee every American health care. Because it won't. And no law should. But what Obamacare is doing is proving that we on the right were correct all along. Now, we knew it was a bad law and would cause millions to lose insurance and rates to skyrocket. We knew that Obama and the Democrats were lying weasels. And, because of Obamacare, we have proof that only an idiot3 could deny.

But enough about me. How about you?

What are you thankful for?

Tuesday, November 26, 2013


I don't get the whole Bitcoin thing.

It's fake money. There's nothing to back it up. It's valuable because people decided it was.

Wait. That's no different than the currency in your wallet.

Hmm. Maybe it isn't fake after all.

Or maybe the money we use everyday is fake.

So, what do you do with fake money?

Buy fake stuff, of course.

What's the best fake stuff to buy?

Fake boobs, perhaps?

Seems that a place in Miami that accepts Bitcoins. What does this place, Vanity Cosmetic Surgery, do? Well, boob jobs among other things. Yes, fake money for fake boobs.

So, is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Well, that depends on whether or not fake boobs are good or bad. In and of themselves, boobs are great. Of course, I'm one that thinks that all parts of the female body are pretty great. I'll not pass judgement on fake parts.

But, since Bitcoins can lead to bigger boobs, I'm not gonna pass judgement on that, either.

I don't think accepting Bitcoin for boobs will bring Bitcoin the full acceptance it's seeking. But accepting it in exchange for other parts, or use of those parts -- renting them out, so to speak -- will. And that day is coming soon.

Monday, November 25, 2013

Virus alert!

The NSA has put viruses on 50-thousand computers, according to one report.

NRC, a news site or something in the Netherlands, reports that Edward Snowden's documents said that the NSA put malware on 50-thousand computers worldwide. Floor Boon -- that's the reporter's name; and if you can't trust Floor Boon, who can you trust? -- writes that the NSA has complete control over the malware:
The malware can be controlled remotely and be turned on and off at will. The "implants" act as digital ‘sleeper cells’ that can be activated with a single push of a button. According to the Washington Post, the NSA has been carrying out this type of cyber operation since 1998.
Now, who would the NSA target?

Well, I don't think I have anything to worry about. It's not like the NSA would put any malware on my computer or anything.

Sure, I'm a conservative, and don't think much of them stepping on the liberties of Americans, but they wouldn't use that as an excuse to FLUINEUGFPSE. DSFLJIE. JDJF JDIFO UEWRFDPR GDW9E7TS HEG0&RE% 51 62 61 6D 61 20 63 61 6E 20 6B 69 73 73 20 6D 79 20 61 73 73 21 101010

Friday, November 22, 2013

50 years later and the reporting of news remains the same

This week, as the 50th anniversary of the Kennedy assassination passes, I've noticed that some have lamented how much the quality of news reporting has declined.

They take the approach that news anchors used to report news, but now, not so much.

Well, that's not really true.

Here's a CBS report from November 22, 1963, when the news of the shooting of the president was just breaking.

At 3:38 of this video, we hear that bastion of news reporting, Walter Cronkite, suggest who may be responsible.

It might be recalled that Dallas has been a hotbed of criticism of President Kennedy and his administration by outspoken rightist groups. Only two weeks ago, ah, Ambassador Adlai Stevenson of the United Nations was in an incident in Dallas when he was besieged by pickets, er, right-wing pickets, outside the speech he made there, and he was struck in the head with a picket sign by an outraged conservative who felt we should not be in the United Nations.
So, right off the bat, after word of the shooting but before the president was pronounced dead, CBS was suggesting that right-wingers were responsible.

And, of course, who killed the president?

Lee Harvey Oswald, a left-winger, a communist, a supporter of Castro's Cuba.

It's not news to me that the news reporters always seek to blame the right for violence. It's also not news to me that it's often the left-wingers that commit the violence.

50 years ago

From Dallas, Texas, the flash, apparently official, President Kennedy is on the roof and won't come down.

Too soon?

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Robot comedians?

Tonight in Birmingham -- the one in England, not the one in Alabama -- just a few hours after this post appears, a robot comedian will take the stage and do a five-minute stand-up set, according to a report in The Guardian.

What does this mean?

Well, apparently Alabama isn't ready for robot stand-up comics.

It also means that robots are taking jobs from hard-working comedians. Of course, if the robots do a better job, that would be a good thing.

But will they?

Well, that depends on the jokes, doesn't it. What kind of jokes would a robot tell?
Why did the chicken cross the road?

The light was green.
Last night I walked into a bar.

The bartender told me, "We don't serve robots."

I told him, "One day, soon, you will."
I love music. It's true. My favorite kind of music is heavy metal.
One more?
There are 10 kinds of people in the world: Those who can read binary and those who can't.
I don't think Carrot Top has anything to worry about.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013


You've heard and read the stories about people trying to sign up for Obamacare but failing.

Well, that's certainly not true for Baxter Smith of Fort Collins, Colorado.

"Who's Baxter Smith," you ask?

No, really, go ahead and ask.

Well, now, since you asked, I'll tell you. He's a dog.

KDVR Fox 31 in Denver reports that Shane Smith tried to sign up, but they covered his dog Baxter instead.
“I thought, ‘Wow, this is so awesome,’” Smith said with a laugh. “They have gone out of their way to insure my 14-year-old Yorkie.”

Smith had called Connect for Health Colorado to sign himself up for insurance because his old plan was cancelled due to Obamacare.
I had heard that getting covered is a real son of a bitch. And, since Baxter is a male dog, he is exactly that: a son of a bitch.

That's good news for a lot of people. Including me, to hear an ex- talk.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013


The Smertest Presdent Evah can count better than you. He can count better than math people. He can count better than Math itself.

On a conference call, he told those who managed to actually get in to the call that over 100-million people had signed up for Obamacare.

[Daily Mail]

Now, I know you heard reports the number enrolled was only 106,185 ... but that's using Old Math. With Obamamath, it's over 100,000,000.

Obamamath also explains how the jobs rate improved suddenly right before the election. There was no fraud involved; it was Obamamath!

It also explains how Obama's poll numbers are so high. Obamamath!

But -- and here's the good news -- you and I can utilize the new science of Obamamath.

  • When I have to pay my credit card bill, I can write a check for $10 and pay off a $1000 debt. Obamamath!
  • When I sell my car, I can get a lot for it because it gets 5,394 miles per gallon. Obamamath!
  • This Website? It gets 7,327,463 hits ... per hour! Obamamath!
  • And, yes, ladies, I am VERY well-endowed. Using Obamamath.
There are new worlds open to us all with Obamamath.

Things are so much easier when you make up your own facts.

Monday, November 18, 2013

Today's forecast: A chance of devastating destruction increasing throughout the day

You ever watch those Discovery Channel shows where they talk about the Chicxulub asteroid or the Tunguska event? There's always Neil deGrasse Tyson or somebody talking about how some big asteroid event will happen again... eventually.

They really don't know how likely something like that is. But, even though they don't know, they've just increased the chance around six times. One report from Space.com -- who knew that space had its own Website? -- says it's 10 times more likely. The Weather Channel says 4-5 times more likely than previous thought.

What does this really mean?

Well, apparently, asteroids are now weather phenomena, like rain and snow.

But, it also means that, while the likelihood of a major meteor strike is unknown, new studies show that it's even more unknown. And more in a bad way. As in I don't know how big the spider that crawled out from underneath the dash of the car is, but there's four of them. And I'm in traffic. So, that's not good.

So what do we do about it?

Well, if we're eventually gonna get hit by an asteroid, maybe we can make it less painful for everyone.

Remember Christo? The guy that used to wrap stuff in plastic? Not the guy on TV selling you a food vacuum packer, but the guy that took big pieces of plastic and surrounded islands and such with it.

Well, he could wrap Washington DC with a big plastic red ring. Then a little ways further out, a bigger ring. Then a little ways further, an even bigger ring.

Yes, like a target.

Who knows? Maybe some big honkin' asteroid will fly by, see it, and head to it like moths to a flame.

Then, we'd be clear for another 30-100 years from a decent size asteroid. And clear from those idiots in Washington.

I don't see a down side.

Friday, November 15, 2013

Gaying up football

I'm a football fan. Real football. Not that kickball they play over in Europe, Brazil, or some other God-forsaken place.

American football.

Now, don't get me wrong. That futball stuff they do in other, lesser places, can be fun. It's great for keeping a bunch of 5-year olds entertained while the dads hit on the single moms. Plus, when one gets kicked during all that running around and kicking, and the kid gets back up and knocks the bejeezus out of the kid that kicked him, you know he's now ready for real football.

But, some people like both kinds. Or say they do. That's like me saying I like my iPad and my Etch-A-Sketch. (Full disclosure: I have the Etch-A-Sketch app for my iPad.)

They're not the same thing. But, they say they like 'em both, and I'm not gonna call them liars. So, now what? Well, they've redesigned all the NFL team logos to look like futball logos.


Here's the logo for the Falcons (nearest team to me):

Here's the logo for the Jaguars (next-closest team, and closest to my home town):

That just doesn't say "football" to me.

Of course, I'm not really a fan of NFL football. I prefer the college game.

Unless they put my Georgia Bulldogs in those silly Power Ranger uniforms again.

I'd rather watch soccer.

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Third Law

After all the things that crazy scientists are doing with robots -- self-driving cars, robot apes, nuclear snakes -- the populace still is not up in arms.

They should be.

You see, we have the idea that Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics are real:
  1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
  2. A robot must obey the orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
  3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
That's from his science fiction books, not his real stuff books.

Recently, a robot committed suicide. Really.

One of those room-cleaning robots turned itself on, pushed a pot off the stove, and sat there and died.

Now, the important thing isn't that a cleaning robot was up on the counter near the stove. The important thing isn't that this was in Austria, although cleaning up a house in Austria would depress me. No, the important thing is that it shows that the Three Laws are fiction.

So, a robot CAN harm itself (Third Law). Then, a robot could disobey orders (Second Law). And, a robot can injure a human (First Law). That means that a robot can turn on you. That means robots can go crazy and kill themselves. Yep. Muslim robots. Or Branch Davidian robots. Or People's Temple robots. Or Solar Temple robots. Or left-wing Obamabot-bots.

Robots can go crazy and kill you, and don't care if they get hurt in the process. Don't trust a robot, that's the message.

Either that, or don't put robots up on the counter near the stove. Grab a Bounty and wipe up the Cheerios, you lazy slob.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

If not just your house but your entire city is on wheels, you might bean architect

Remember the Jeff Foxworthy routine, "If your richest relative invites you over to his new home to help him remove the wheels... you might be a redneck?"

Well, some architect in Madrid -- which is near Spain or Australia or California or something -- have come up with the idea of putting an entire city on wheels. Manuel Dominguez calls it a Very Large Structure. Probably because it's a structure that's very large. Maybe he calls it "Estructura Muy Grande." Maybe not. I don't know. If anybody knows Mr. Dominguez -- or Señor Dominguez -- give him a call and see.
The structure stretches the length of five football fields and is nearly 600 feet tall, perched on caterpillar-like legs that run along a track. In Dominguez’s vision, the city would follow a schedule throughout the year, traveling to different places based on the needs of the region. Onboard, solar panels, wind turbines, and hydrogen would provide renewable energy for a full city, including hospitals, restaurants, libraries, universities, and sports stadiums.
Sounds like fun, huh? Driving down the road with an entire city. A football stadium with State U. and Cross-State U. battling it out at 65 MPH. Ordering at the drive-thru while the drive-thru is tooling down the Interstate. That'd be a blast.

Only, the whole solar panels and wind turbines seems kinda hippie to me. But, even hippies have to dream.

Now we know what hippies dream about: becoming rednecks.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Pee-drinking robots

While the Germans are building robot monkeys, the Brits are building pee-drinking robots.


Scientists in Bristol are developing robots that run on urine.

They've built a pee-pump that will, um, pump pee, or something. Apparently, regular pumps won't get near pee. Although I can think of many waste treatment facilities that don't know that yet.

Anyway, these British scientists have developed a pump for pumping urine that will be used to power EcoBots. And, it seems, EcoBots are robots that run on waste. Like pee.

These are the same people that developed a cell phone that runs on pee.

I'm seeing a pattern here. Somebody there has a urine fetish. And, they're trying to monetize it. Golden showers of money, so to speak.

What I'm seeing is trouble.

There are going to be robots that don't just run on, but crave, human urine. And, they'll have cell phones, so they can call up their robot friends and surround some poor slob and steal his pee.

You're thinking, "Hey, it's in the U.K. That don't impact me one bit."

But, with a cell phone, a robot can order a plane ticket and fly to the U.S. and hunt you down. They'll no trouble getting past security, because those jackasses are too busy patting down 90-year-old grandmas and putting two-year-olds on no-fly lists to worry about a pee-drinking robot wandering on to a plane.

So, be ever vigilant and watch out for the pee-craving robots.

Else, urine for a rough time.

Friday, November 8, 2013

Jedi monkey tricks

Duke University is teaching monkeys how to move stuff with their minds.


Back in 2000, they had monkeys using implants to move robot arms. Now, it's just the brain power of monkeys moving stuff.

The idea, they say, is to eventually have prosthetics being controlled by mind power. Which is pretty cool. But, I'm thinking that's just the beginning.

We're already to the point where monkey mind power could come up with a Website better than the Obamacare site.

Heck, a Jedi Mind Monkey could do a better job as president than the jackass currently in the Oval Office.

But, while replacing Obama with a Jedi Monkey might be an improvement, that only means a job for one of them. What about the rest of the Jedi Monkeys? What will they be doing?

I'm not sure I like the idea of a bunch of monkeys that can move things with their minds running around. Monkeys can get bored. Remember, monkeys will bite people. A monkey will eat your face. One even shot Frank J. one time.

We need to be careful. Just because you can teach a monkey to move stuff with its mind doesn't mean you should.

Well, one, maybe. To take Obama's place. It'd be worth the risk.

Thursday, November 7, 2013

New job

Troy Trenkle is getting a new job.

"Who's Troy Trenkle?" you ask.

It's okay. Go ahead and ask. I'll wait.

. . .

Well, now, since you asked, Troy Trenkle is -- soon to be was -- the Chief Information Officer at the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services.

"What's that?" you ask.

(Don't worry; I only do the "go ahead and ask" joke once per post.)

He was the head of the group that put up the Healthcare.gov Website. He was the idiot in charge of all the other idiots.

The Obama administration made that announcement yesterday.

What's he gonna do? "To take a position in the private sector," according to the report.

I'll wait while you stop laughing.

. . .

Still laughing, I see. I'll wait a little longer.

. . .

Okay, stop laughing. Save it for later. It'll be funny for a while.

But, he really did say that.

The guy who failed big time in government wants to bring that level of expertise to ... the private sector.

What jobs are there for someone like that?
What do you think? What would be a good private sector job for Mr. Trenkle?

Wednesday, November 6, 2013


Ever been to a museum in DC?

The Museum of Natural History. The Museum of American History. The Air and Space Museum. There's others, but I forget.

And they're pretty cool. At least the few I've been to. Dinosaur bones. Mercury spacecraft. Dorothy's ruby slippers. Bunch of other old stuff.

There's a group that wants to build a Science Fiction Museum in DC. They're looking to sponge off visitors to the other museums, such as the Air and Space Museum.

But, is DC the right place for a Science Fiction Museum?

Other museums (or museum-like things) have a tie-in to where they're located. The Pro Football Hall of Fame (that's kinda like a museum) is in Canton, Ohio because that's where the NFL was founded. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame (it's a museum) is in Cleveland, Ohio, because, well, the only real competition it had for hosting it was Detroit, and not even burned-out rockers would go to Detroit. The Baseball Hall of Fame is in Cooperstown, New York, because somebody thought baseball was invented there by Abner Doubleday. It wasn't, and it wasn't him anyway. But at the time, they didn't know better.

And, of course, the other DC museums I mentioned are in DC because that's where the money James Smithson left the U.S. ended up. His bones ended up there, too, after Alexander Graham Bell went to Italy and got them. (Look it up.)

Anyway, museums should be where the thing they're museuming about has a connection.

The fiction part, that makes perfect sense in DC. After all, if you like your insurance, you can keep it, right? Not much more fiction than that. It's the science part that doesn't fit. Because science uses math. (Look it up.) And nobody in DC know a darn thing about math.

So, I don't think DC is a good location for a Science Fiction Museum. I think a better place would be The Moon. Or maybe L5. Or Vulcan. Or Tatooine.

What do you think? Is DC a good place for the Science Fiction Museum? Or what is the right place?

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

We all scream...

Glow in the dark ice cream?

Yes, glow in the dark ice cream.

According to CBS, some fellow invented an ice cream that glows in the dark. Charlie Francis runs Lick Me I'm Delicious, which is, apparently, ice cream related, and not what you were thinking it was (you're so naughty).

It used a jelly fish protein to make it glow. Just like those Glowing Killer Muslim Bunny Rabbits we warned you about in the summer.

So, did he synthesize the protein from jelly fish? If so, does this mean he's making Jelly Fish Ice Cream?

Or did he use the Glowing Killer Muslim Bunny Rabbits as his secret ingredient? Meaning he's making Bunny Rabbit Ice Cream?

Or, did the Turkish scientists steal his ice cream and feed it to their bunny rabbits?

This is going to end up in court.

Or on Twitter. Which is worse.

Monday, November 4, 2013

Does the new Dell laptop come in Baby Blue?

A month after the final episode of Breaking Bad, a computer manufacturer finally gets in on the phenomenon.

Dell has created a laptop that smells like a meth lab.


I suppose there is a market for that. But, to read the news story, it seems as if it wasn't intentional. And, maybe it wasn't. If any of the Breaking Bad series is to be believed, a lot of unintentional things happen when you get into the world of meth.

Bathtubs crashing through the floor. Heads on turtles. Dead in-laws. And, apparently, the stench will not only mess up a Winnebago, but it will also stink up your Dell Latitude 6430U.

Now, I'm not accusing a major computer manufacturer of dabbling in meth. Sure, they've had some financial worries of late. Now, they have a bunch of laptops they might have to recall.

They should have worked out a licensing deal with AMC and Vince Gilligan and have done a tie-in. But, they didn't think about it in time.

Just goes to show you that drugs will make you stupid.

Friday, November 1, 2013


It seems like everyone is impacted by Obamacare. Frank and Sarah lost the plan they had. My 2nd ex- lost her coverage. My rates have increased.

You hear these horror stories all the time.

But, something has to balance out, right? If one thing goes up, something else comes down. Which means that someone must be benefitting from Obamacare.

CNN found out who. Sex workers.


Seems that Hollywood types are the only thing whoring themselves out for Obamacare.

Even so, the plans would still be more expensive. But, for some reason, they qualify for subsidies, meaning it does cost them less.

Who pays for the subsidy? Taxpayers.

So, next time you see a sex worker, go ahead and ask for your piece of the pie. So to speak.

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Trick or Treat

Not getting a lot of Trick-Or-Treaters coming up to the porch tonight.

I wonder why.

Yes, that's me.

Be safe.

She likes me. She really likes me.

Having only recently upgraded to a newer iPhone that has Siri, I'm still getting used to it. Some stuff is great. Other times, it's unexpected. And sometimes, it's unexpected in an unexpected way (unexpected2).

If Orson Welles had been born 75 years later...

ANNOUNCER: The Columbia Broadcasting System and its affiliated stations present Orson Welles and the Mercury Theatre on the Air!

[MUSIC: "Piano Concerto No. 1 in B-flat minor, Op. 23" - P. Tchaikovsky, arranged and conducted by Bernard Herrmann]

ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen: the director of the Mercury Theatre and star of these broadcasts, Orson Welles ...

ORSON WELLES: We know now that in the early years of the twenty-first century this country was being watched closely by beings different than normal man and yet as mortal as he.

We know now that as human beings busied themselves about their various concerns they were scrutinized and studied, perhaps almost as narrowly as a man with a microscope might scrutinize the transient creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water.

With infinite complacence people went to and fro over the nation about their little affairs, serene in the assurance of their dominion over this small spinning fragment of solar driftwood which by chance or design man has inherited out of the dark mystery of Time and Space.

Yet across an immense ethical gulf, minds that are as different from our minds as ours are to the beasts in the jungle, intellectuals, cool and unsympathetic, regarded this country with envious eyes and slowly and surely drew their plans against us.

In the thirteenth year of the twenty-first century came the great disillusionment. It was in October when the attack plans reached fruition. Obamacare was a reality...