Tuesday, July 31, 2012

MST3K: Episode 805 - The Thing That Couldn't Die

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 805: The Thing That Couldn't Die

First aired: Sci-Fi Channel on 1 March 1997
Availability: MST3KVideos.com fan copy

In the end, it dies.
Now we meet the Observers.

This may be the most appropriate episode for the introduction of those characters. They carry their brains around in a bowl, and the villain in the movie has his brain (and head) carried around in a box.

Not a big fan of this episode, to be honest. Sure, the riffing is fun, as good as any in the last couple of seasons, but the movie is mind-numbingly bad. I did manage to watch in in one sitting, though. Or maybe it was two. Two. It was two.

Head in a Box is not a Lonely Island song.
Aunt Flavia runs a dude ranch, and her niece is a water witch, only she also finds watches and Englishmen's heads, include that of Gideon Drew, whose head was buried in one box and his body in another, only when they find the box with the head in it, they don't know what's in the box, so they send out for an expert to help them open the box without destroying it, since an intact box might fetch a might fine price, but while they're off fetching Mr. Expert, the ranch foreman and his dimwitted sidekick open the box and the Head of Gideon Drew takes over Dimwit's mind, and Dimwit kills Foreman, then the Head takes over the mind of the dark-haired chick, who's all hot for the Beatnik Painter, and they find the body and put Head back with Body, but the water witch's boyfriend throws a cross at the rejoined Gideon Drew who falls into his coffin, causing The Thing That Couldn't Die to die, and then the camera zoomed in on the cross pendant hanging between the blonde chick's boobies. The end.

What the whole movie led up to.
Maybe besides it being a really bad movie, the fact that I didn't care a whole lot for the season-long story arc of the ape planet and the brain planet factors into things. I don't know why I didn't care for them. Maybe it's that they could have spent just one episode on each planet but they dragged it out. Or drug it out. Drugs would've helped, I think.

Funny thing, thinking about it. I watched more MST3K on Sci-Fi than I did on Comedy Central. The show aired on Comedy Central (and The Comedy Channel) for 7 years. It aired on Sci-Fi for 7 years (though four of those years were all reruns). And, since I never got The Comedy Channel, and didn't see all the Comedy Central episodes during the time they aired, I ended up seeing more broadcasts on Sci-Fi, if you count reruns. So, I was more used to Pearl, Bobo, and Observer. Still, I didn't care for the episodes that took place on those characters' respective planets.

Our first view of the Observers.
Of course, this did give a little background on the Observers. But, they'd take several episodes to lay it all out.

I suppose that, since I don't recall these Host Segments (or much of these Host Segments) as I review all of the episodes again, they are kinda new to me.

Maybe they'll grow on me. The ape planet didn't, but maybe this Observer planet stuff will.

I doubt it.

Anyway, I'm glad to see the background of Bobo and Observer, but just think they could have done it in fewer episodes. Then, again, Pearl got several episodes to lay her groundwork. I suppose it's only fair to give Bobo and Observer some time.

It is interesting to see Bill Corbett on screen for the first time. He took over Crow at the beginning of the season, and did a good job. To me, he's as much Crow as is Trace Beaulieu. A little different Crow, to be sure, but then, Kevin Murphy was a different Servo than was Josh (J. Elvis) Weinstein. Both Murphy and Corbett did great jobs stepping into roles that were created and developed by others.

Trace Beaulieu will always be Crow. But so will Bill Corbett. Two different talents, but two great talents handling a great character.

Monday, July 30, 2012

MST3K: Episode 804 - The Deadly Mantis

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 804: The Deadly Mantis

First aired: Sci-Fi Channel on 22 February 1997
Availability: MST3KVideos.com fan copy

It mates, and it kills. So, it's only half-bad.
The movie shown in this episode was one I saw many, many years ago. The Deadly Mantis is one of those that stuck with me.

I enjoyed it when I saw it on TV as a child, and I enjoyed it when Mike & the Bots gave it the treatment.

Maybe it's giant critter movies I like. Maybe.

Maybe it's just bad movies I like, but I really kinda sorta don't think so.

Maybe it's just being a kid, I wasn't too discriminating in what I watched on TV. Based on seeing today some of the stuff I enjoyed as a child, I'm inclined to go with that.

Professor Bobo read the instructions on the nuclear weapon.
Whatever the reason, though, I still kinda enjoyed this movie. Not just the episode -- I enjoyed it to be sure -- but the movie in the episode. It was fun.

We also got a little Planet Of The Apes thrown in this episode.

Okay, the whole plot for the Host Segments in the first four episodes of Season Eight have all involved the Satellite of Love being brought back from the edge of the universe to earth in the year 2525 where apes rule the planet. Well, that story arc ends with this episode, with the bomb worshipers getting the apes to fix their nuclear warhead, which then explodes, killing everybody.

Well, not everybody.

Our first view of The Deadly Mantis.
Pearl saw what was happening and made a quick exit. Professor Bobo accidentally stowed away on her space van and was saved, too.

Of course, Pearl's survival kinda threw a damper on the memorial service M&tB had for her.

So, this episode sets up the whole "in her rocket ship she hunts them all across the universe" thing. I wondered about that after the last episode. Turns out I didn't have to wait too long.

Except... there's still someone missing. And, we'll meet the next member of the cast of characters soon enough.

This movie, though, needs watching, since Pearl sent it on auto-play or something before the planet blew up.

It flies!
A volcano on an island in the South Atlantic erupts, so, according to Newton or something, that means ice will met at the North Pole and cause a giant prehistoric mantis to be unleashed upon the world, which it is, so it kills a bunch of eskimos and Air Force personnel before heading south to wreak havoc on the eastern seaboard of the Unites States, since Tokyo was busy with Gojira based on other movies from around this time, so they kill the mantis, or think they do, but it eats a bus and a train and climbs the Washington Monument before heading to the nearby Manhattan Tunnel where scientists use a bunch of Raid Yard Guard or something to gas it to death, causing the photographer lady to quit her job and run off with Colonel Craig Stevens.

Fun episode, and the story arc with Pearl hunting Mike & the Bots finally moves along.

This one was a winner.

Friday, July 27, 2012

MST3K: Episode 803 - The Mole People

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 803: The Mole People

First aired: Sci-Fi Channel on 15 February 1997
Availability: MST3KVideos.com fan copy

"These are the people who make that nice Mexican sauce!""
This episode seemed to set the tone for the rest of the series. Well, to me, anyway.

This is the first episode where Mike seemed to be more assertive with the Bots. He seemed less confused by their actions, but seemed impatient for them to get to the point of whatever silliness they were up to.

Since the character first appeared on the Satellite of Love, he was learning his way around. He relied on the Bots to clue him in on things. Servo and Crow would get away with some stuff, or hide their ignorance of things by spouting pure BS, and Mike would accept it.

"Do you guys know Data?"
With this episode, Mike seems a little tired of their silliness -- particularly with Crow's -- because he's more of an equal.

It makes sense, kinda. At the end of Season Seven, Servo and Crow had been in space seven years, while Mike had been there 2½. The Bots had been there nearly three times as long.

After returning from the edge of the universe, the Bots had been in space 535 years, and Mike 531. Not so great a difference at that scale.

Mike is frustrated with the Bots.
From my memory of the Sci-Fi years of MST3K, Mike was an equal. This seems to be the episode where it was first apparent.

Right off the bat, Mike is a little frustrated with Crow's antics, and takes physical action against him. It wouldn't be the last time.

The Apes are still sending movies to the crew, as descreed by The Lawgiver (Pearl). I really don't recall how long that lasts. I recall them having a visit to ancient Rome, or a planet based on ancient Rome, or something, as part of the whole "in her rocket ship she hunts them all across the univers" thing.

Ward Cleaver wields a sword.
I'm not sure why I don't recall that much about the Ape shows' Host Segments, but recall the movies they riffed. It may be like I mentioned previously, that I didn't always wait for a commercial to take a break. The leaving the theater was the beginning of the break for me around this time. It wasn't always like that. I recall many things from Host Segments from the Comedy Central years, but not much about them so far this season.

Now, there is a benefit to my not having recalled much about the Host Segments. When something really funny happens, I'm experiencing it as if it's the first time. So, instead of, "oh, yeah, that's funny" it's more of, "hey, that's funny!"

Pearl plays with her new boy-toy.
In this episode, the ending of the final Host Segment, where Pearl realizes she does have use for former Minnesota Vikings running back Robert Smith -- he plays Pearl's gift, Howard -- is hilarious.

Oh, well, on to the movie.

Some English professor explains crackpot theories about civilizations living inside the earth, and then we get a movie about a civilization living inside the earth, which our protagonists, John Agar, Ward Cleaver, and the hotel clerk from Mayberry, go looking underground for stuff and get kidnapped by the Mole People and taken to Albinoland or something, where John Agar gets all horny for the not-as-white-as-the-others girl, all the while the albinos think they are gods because they have a flashlight, except for Alfred the Butler, who realizes they're just men with a hint of color to their skin, and they end up escaping, except for the not-as-pasty-white girl who dies. The end.

A fun episode. At least, I was able to watch it in one sitting, which is more than I can say about the previous episode.

That's not to say, "well, it was better than the last one," though that is true. I did enjoy this one, and I don't mean relative to another one. This one was fun.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

MST3K: Episode 802 - The Leech Woman

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 802: The Leech Woman

First aired: Sci-Fi Channel on 8 February 1997
Availability: MST3KVideos.com fan copy

No leeches were harmed in the making of this film.
This one was hard to get through. And, the funny thing is, when I first saw it back in the late 1990s, I don't remember it being that hard to get through. Perhaps I didn't sit down to watch it uninterrupted. Or, perhaps I did.

I'm not sure because when I watched it again this week as part of my "watch 'em all" project, I didn't manage to watch it uninterrupted. So, I don't know if the interruptions are what made it hard to get through, or if it being hard to get through caused me to be more open to interruptions.

Whatever the case, my watching it this time was painful. And long. Took three days. Or four. They all seem to run together.

Still, I can't put my finger on what I didn't like. They did a good job on the riffing. I found that I laughed, at least. And the host segments were so-so. So, maybe that's it. I just never did get into the whole Planet of the Apes thing. Loved the movie, but, oh, I don't know. The MST3K segments just didn't cut it for me. So far, at least. I really don't remember these host segments, though the movie is more familiar.

Oh, wait. I know why.

Used to be, when they'd leave the theater for the commercials or Host Segments, I'd do my commercial breaks. Grab something to drink or a snack or something. So, I didn't always watch the Host Segments during the this season. Don't know why. Oh, well.
Mala is old.Later, Mala is young.
In this movie, Husband of the Year Paul is tired of his Old Wife June but when Really Old Woman Mala shows up and convinces him that she has the secret to youth, HOTY Paul convinces OW June to travel to Africa with him and learn the secret, which turns out involving killing a man to get fluid from his pineal gland, but that doesn't bother HOTY Paul, who convinces OW June to go through the transformation herself, and she does, but turns the tables on HOTY Paul and picks him as the person for the "donation" of the secret ingredient, and she gets all young again, being transformed into Young Widow June, so YW June and the Expedition Guide escape, but along the way, YW June discovers the transformation is temporary, so she kills EG and turns young again, then flies back to the U. S. and sets out to get Good Lawyer but Bad Boyfriend Neil away from Girlfriend Sally, and her plan works, but GF Sally doesn't take kindly to it, so she confronts YW June, who kills GF Sally and drains her pineal gland, but then GLBBBF Neil shows up, then the police show up, and YW June turns back into OW June, and then discovers that the fluid from a woman doesn't work, so, with the police after her, she jumps out a window and dies. The end.
At first, June is old.Then she becomes young.Then she's even older.
Wow. I didn't realize just how much was going on in this film. And not much of it is good.

Still, the riffing was fine. Maybe it's the Host Segments. I never did care much for the Nanites. This time around, they've been in two episodes, and I haven't warmed to them yet.

Maybe it's the Ape Planet.

Whatever it is, this episode just didn't do it for me. Not a bad episode. That is, I wouldn't dread watching it again. It just ... oh, I don't know. It just didn't all come together.

Maybe the next time I watch it, it'll be better.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

MST3K: Episode 801 - Revenge of the Creature

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 801: Revenge of the Creature

First aired: Sci-Fi Channel on 1 February 1997
Availability: MST3KVideos.com fan copy

It's a sequel!
The Sci-Fi Channel era of MST3K launched in early 1997 with one of the classic horror films, Revenge of the Creature ... if you can call it a classic.

I suppose it is. It's the sequel to Creature from the Black Lagoon which is, without a doubt, one of the most famous horror/sci-fi films of all time. Yeah, it may be a little silly, but it's still a classic. And, I suppose, this sequel is, too.

I remember enjoying both the original and this sequel when I was a child. This film, in particular, made an impression because the Creature escaped south Florida and wound up in Jacksonville. While I didn't live in Jacksonville, we were close enough to watch TV stations out of Jacksonville, if we would just go outside and turn the antenna in that direction. And, sometimes we did.

Professor Bobo is frightened of the humans.
Anyway, as a kid, watching a movie and then hearing them unexpected mentioning a place you knew was a little weird. Sure, since then, it's happened a lot. But this movie was the first time it happened. And you always remember your first time, right?

Let's talk more about the movie in a bit. For now, let's talk about how we're able to see Mike & the Bots be tortured with the movie after having been abandoned by Dr. Forrester, set adrift in space, and turned into pure energy at the edge of the universe.

Turns out that, after 500 years (actually, 538, if my math is correct) Mike, Servo, Gypsy, and Magic Voice are unexpected called back to the Satellite of Love. Crow was already there, having gotten bored with infinity about five minutes into it. But, he's different. Somehow different. Of course, Crow is different because Trace Beaulieu had left the show at the end of Season Seven, when the show was canceled by Comedy Central. He didn't return for the Sci-Fi Channel years, and Bill Corbett took over. Bill had actually been a contributing writer as far back as Episode 622: Angels Revenge, but didn't become a permanent staff member until he took over the role of Crow.

Clint Eastwood can't find his rat.
Anyway, the SoL is orbiting Earth in the year 2525. And, yes, M&tB ask if man is still alive, and if woman could survive. Who do they ask? The apes on the planet below.

Yes, apes rule the earth, damn you all to hell, as Charlton Heston would say. And, Ape Law says that you must send bad movies to any satellites orbiting the earth, so Professor Bobo does just that.

We later find out that this bit of Ape Law is from The Lawgiver, who turns out to be ... Pearl Forrester, who failed to raise new baby Clayton any better than the first time, so she just smothered him with a pillow and had herself frozen.

So, that's how they worked themselves out of the corner they had painted themselves into during the last episode.
Gill looks pretty good for a dead monster.Gill loves Helen, but she doesn't love him.
Now, on to the movie.

After having been killed in the previous film, Gill Man is captured alive and brought to south Florida to be studied a professor, Clete, and a student, Helen, with Clint Eastwood thrown in for comic effect, but Clete and Helen end up studying each other, which Joe doesn't like, but Gill Man solves all Joe's problems by killing him and escaping, but Gill falls for Helen too, and kidnaps her from a restaurant in Jacksonville, but they hunt down Gill and kill him again. The end.

The Lawgiver.
Pretty typical monster movie from the 1950s. It was originally in 3-D, just like its predecessor. And, not really a bad film. Well, not as bad as many other films. But, bad enough to get the MST3K treatment.

The whole way they solved the return of the crew to the SoL and the premise to throw bad movies at them actually kinda works.

It was good to see the whole crew back.

Oh, you may have noticed that this movie was never released on home video. That brings up a few items.

First, it's the beginning of a 9-episode stretch of episodes that have never been commercially available. In fact, it's the longest stretch in the entire series, excluding the KTMA episodes.

Next, since they aren't commercially available, unless you've seen the episode or own a fan copy, you can't get the whole storyline that develops in Season Eight, explaining how the crew came back and how we ended up with Pearl, Professor Bobo, and Brain Guy.

That's all coming. I didn't see them all in order when these episodes originally aired, but will get that opportunity now.

I'm looking forward to it.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

MST3K: Season Seven Wrapup

Mike with Crow, Servo, & Gypsy during The Movie.
I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Seven seasons down, three seasons to go.

Unless you count the KTMA Season. Then, it's eight seasons down, three seasons to go.

Best Brains really doesn't count Season Zero, the KTMA Season. But, you can if you want to. We covered them here, so I suppose we're counting that season.

Whatever. Season Seven is behind us.

Season Seven was the final season on Comedy Central. MST3K went national on The Comedy Channel in November, 1989, survived the merger between The Comedy Channel and HA! and became the most popular show on the network.

Mrs. Forrester turns Dr. Forrester meek.
However, that wasn't enough.

Jim Mallon wanted to do a feature film based on the show, and Joel Hodgson didn't. For that and other reasons, Joel ended up leaving the show he created and the plans for the film went forward.

Word is that the network wasn't happy with the crew's focus on the film, and new leadership at the network canceled the show.

The show would survive cancelation, though. The Sci-Fi Channel would pick it up and carry on for three more seasons. We'll get to Season Eight soon.

For now, let's wrap up Season Seven.

It was a short season, consisting of six episodes. Or seven.

Season Six ended in March, 1995. Season Seven sort of began in November of that year. But not really.

Dr. Forrester conducts a focus group.
What happened is a special edition of Episode 701: Night of the Blood Beast aired. The Host Segments were tied to the Thanksgiving Day Marathon.

In February, 1996, the standard version of Episode 701: Night of the Blood Beast, officially beginning Season Seven.

We saw a different Dr. Forrester. Very different.

TV's Frank (Frank Conniff) had left the show at the conclusion of Season Six, which meant that Mystery Science Theater 3000 - The Movie featured a solo Dr. Forrester. However, when the season began, they carried over the Thanksgiving Day Marathon storyline of Mrs. Forrester showing up and staying. Essentially, Mary Jo Pehl, who had been writing behind the scenes, as well as playing various characters in the Host Segments, replaced Frank Conniff.

Mike, Crow, & Servo turn into pure energy. Gypsy will follow.
The addition of Mrs. Forrester put Dr. Forrester in a subservient position to his mother. That lasted most of Season Seven, but we saw the old Dr. Forrester, large and in charge, during the final episode.

The ending of Season Seven saw M&tB being transformed into pure energy at the edge of the universe after Dr. Forrester set the Satellite of Love adrift. It also saw Dr. Forrester revert to being a baby by way of a 2001: A Space Odyssey kind of experience.

It was a great way to end the series.

Only, it didn't end.

Season Eight would eventually occur, although 259 days would elapse between the last new episode of Season Seven, and the first episode of Season Eight.

Season Seven was the oddball season. Only six episodes, plus a "we've been canceled so we're wrapping everything up" episode. Oh, and two versions of one episode. Oh, and a movie thrown in for good measure.

A lot packed into such a short season. Had this truly been the final season of MST3K, it would have been a great way to end everything.

But, there is more to come. And that's today's life lesson: nothing's over until we say it's over. Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?

Words to live by.

Monday, July 23, 2012

MST3K: Episode 706 - Laserblast

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 706: Laserblast

First aired: Comedy Central on 18 May 1996
Availability: iTunes, Amazon Instant Video, Amazon DVD (20th Anniversary/Volume 13), Shout Factory (20th Anniversary/Volume 13), Best Brains (20th Anniversary/Volume 13)

Their final film.
This is the end.

After one season on a TV station in Minneapolis, seven seasons on Comedy Central (and it's predecessor, The Comedy Channel), and a feature film, Mystery Science Theater 3000 was canceled.

Everyone saw it coming.

The Best Brains crew was preoccupied with the movie and not so focused on the TV show during 1995. Comedy Central went through a change in leadership and only ordered six episodes for Season Seven rather than 24, as they had done for the previous four seasons, or even 13 has they had for Seasons One and Two. Things didn't look good, and, sure enough, the show was canceled by the network, even though it was the most-watched show on the network. The network went a route that didn't include MST3K, and, a year later, we got South Park and The Daily Show.

Dr. Forrester loses funding.
Call it the dumbing down of TV, if you can imagine such a thing.

Okay, some of you may think those shows are great. Go ahead. Think that. You'll come to your senses one day.

Anyway, back to this episode. It's the end of MST3K. And, they did the ending right.

Dr. Forrester had his funding cut so he disconnects the Satellite of Love. That's actually fun to see, because for most of Season Six, Dr. Forrester had been such a Milquetoast due to his overbearing mother. However, in Episode 705: Escape 2000, he asserted himself a little and put his mother "in a home."

In this episode, he's fully back to his old, evil self by simply cutting the SOL loose. No, he's not a nice guy, but that is so much like the character from the previous seasons.

Mike & the Bots drift away from the earth and arrive at the edge of the universe, where they are transformed into energy and all is revealed to them.
The "2001" ending of MST3K after Comedy Central cancels the show.
Dr. Forrester, meanwhile, experiences his own revelation. In a great parody of the ending of 2001: A Space Odyssey, Dr. Forrester sees someone eating at a table. The man turns around and is revealed to be Dr. Forrester. He continues his meal and knocks over his glass. As he reaches for the broken glass, he sees an old man in a bed. The old man in the bed is Dr. Forrester (played by Trace Beaulieu's father, Jack Beaulieu), who looks up and sees the great monolith. He points at it, and it's revealed to be the Worst Movie Ever Made. He then is transformed into a baby. Pearl Forrester cherishes the opportunity to get it right this time, while we hear Dr. Forrester proclaim, "Oh, poopie!"

Space turtles.
A great ending.

Okay, it's better than getting hit in the head with a golf ball and waking up next to Suzanne Pleshette or winding up in a snow globe.

I liked it.

Oh, wait a second. There was a movie being watched.

Yes, Dr. Forrester did set the Satellite of Love adrift, but fed M&tB one more movie anyway.

In it, a space fellow is running from a space ship full of turtles who shoot and kill him, then leave his body and laser weapon behind, all the while Billy is abandoned by his mom, run off by his girlfriends father, harassed by geeks, and ticketed by Hank Williams, Jr., but then he finds the laser weapon and starts shooting stuff, but the laser cannon starts affecting Billy's body, so he goes to see Dr. Roddy McDowall, then kills him later before going on a murderous rampage, so the space turtles come back and kill Billy. The end.

Roddy McDowall wonders why he did this film.
How bad is this movie? Laserblast is a very bad film. And, if that description wasn't enough to convince you, try this: they misspelled Roddy McDowall's name in the credits. Yes, they screwed up the name of the biggest star in the film.

The movie was really bad. Really, really bad. A wicked, naughty, bad film.

Of course, M&tB did a good job with the riffing. This is the kind of bad movie that brings out the best in MST3K.

But, the highlight was the plot involving the ending of the series.

Well, what could possibly top that?

The Sci-Fi Channel picking up the series and bringing it back the next year, of course.

Friday, July 20, 2012

MST3K: Episode 705 - Escape 2000

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 705: Escape 2000

First aired: Comedy Central on 2 March 1996
Availability: MST3KVideos.com

Italy's revenge for WW2.
Let me tell you a story about a movie.

Back in the early 1980s, some Italians, still angry over World War II, I suspect, made a movie. Well, they made a bunch, actually. But there's this one movie...

In it, the daughter of the guy who runs the Manhattan Corporation, a giant evil corporation or something, gets all weepy about being in charge of the arms giant, and runs away.

Where does she run? Why, the Bronx, of course. It's a lawless wasteland run by gangs. In the movie, it's that way, too. She is attacked by one gang but saved by another. Oh, and the evil corporation sends Vic Morrow to get her back by any means necessary. Which is code for "by killing people, if possible."

A miserable character named "Trash." And he's the hero.
The film was released to theaters under the title 1990: Bronx Warriors. It doesn't sound like a good film, does it?

Well, that awful film I just described is not the bad film that was subjected on Mike & the Bots (and the viewers) in this episode. No, they had to watch the sequel to that film, which was worse. Yes, it's Escape from the Bronx for our poor test subjects.

Several years after the events of 1990: Bronx Warriors, big evil General Construction company wants to tear down the Bronx and put up new buildings, but first they have to get rid of the lawless gangs that rule that area, so they send in squads with flame throwers who throw flames and would make life hell for the people still there, except their life is already hell, but they end up killing the parents of Trash, who was sort of the hero of the first movie and is sort of the hero of this movie, but he's unlikable just like everybody else, so anyway he starts killing the death squads, so since Vic Morrow was dead, they hired Henry Silva to take out the Trash, so to speak, but Trash ends up winning and saving the reporter girl, and life in the Bronx goes back to the miserable hell on earth it's supposed to be. Or something. The end.

"The Network" introduces Timmy Bobby Rusty.
I guess I ought to tell you a little more about the episode. Remember in Episode 704: The Incredible Melting Man, where the Host Segments were mostly about how horrible an experience it was to make a movie? Well, in this one, "The Network" wants to introduce a new character, Timmy Bobby Rusty, to spice things up.

Just like the movie studio segments from the earlier episode may have been the writers' way of getting that bad experience out of their system, the whole Timmy Bobby Rusty thing may have been their way of getting their frustration with the network interference out of their system. Oh, and by the time this episode aired in March of 1996, word has leaked out that MST3K wasn't going to be renewed, and there weren't any more new episodes. There actually was one more new episode.

And, yes, the show was canceled, but it would be picked up by another network. More about that later.
Dr. Forrester puts Mrs. Forrester in a home.Henry Silva is the bad buy, probably because he smokes.
While the Host Segments had a little bit of fun -- the horrible little brat that The Network wanted, Dr. Forrester putting Mrs. Forrester in "a home," and Crow accidentally setting the Satellite of Love on fire -- the movie was a little hard to get through. Not so much because of the riffing, mind you. The riffing was good, but the movie was just to bad. The bad guys and the good guys? No difference, except for the metal suits.

My copy is a fan copy. You see, this episode isn't available commercially. Apparently, the studio (or whoever owns the rights), thinks they have a gold mine and don't want to get whatever money they'd get from MST3K DVD sales. They want the full cut of DVD sales.

Keep sitting on that gold mine, Mr. or Mrs. Studio Executive. One day, everybody's going to run out and buy this movie. Keep believing that.