Thursday, March 31, 2005

Sortapundit 2

Now that the Blog War vs. Sortapundit is over, and now that Sortapundit has joined us, we were musing the other day: "Now what?"

Turns out Sortapundit may have the answer: Sortapundit.

Okay, let me explain. Sortapundit ( found the new blog Sortapundit ( And while he's not angry, he is a little put out.

I'm not quite sure what to do about this one? Is the name Sortapundit my intellectual property? Am I covered by copyright laws? I've been using it for over a year now, so surely I've got some sort of claim on it.

Anyway, I'm gonna leave it for the time being, and hope this guy just gives up after a few weeks. If he gets an Instalanche before me, though, there's gonna be blood.

This might be interesting. Now, Sortapundit didn't ask for help from the Blog Warriors. But, since he's one of us now, I'm thinking we might want to help him out.

Now, my sisters could tell you, and the folks I work with could tell you, and ... heck, anybody that knows me can tell you ... I like to mess with folks. Not bad. But enough to get their attention. In a friendly sorta way. Heh-heh. I said "sorta."

Anyway, here's what I did. I visited Sortapundit ( and left an on-topic comment about a couple of posts. And I didn't use my Blogger log-in to leave the comment. Yes, I have one of those. What I did instead was left my name, but left for my web site.

Now, Adam and Christopher, who run Sortapundit, seem nice enough. Of course, I've only read a few posts (they only have a few posts), so they may be serial killers, for all I know. But, I'm just wanting to get their attention a little. They've each got another blog they do with a third person, so ... well, I don't know.

Anyway, I'm thinking a little nudge might be fun. I'm not getting mean or anything. Just wanting to get their attention. After all, Sortapundit ( is on our side now.

They may see the humor in this. They may get all mad. Let's find out what happens.

Oh, and before anyone starts at me, yes, there were several "Basil's Blogs" already in existence before I started this one. But none had bothered to register a domain name. was available. (Oh, and don't get cute and try to register or, okay?)

I looked at the top hits for "basil's blog" and found the ones that came up to be old sites that hadn't been updated. After I started, I found another "Basil's Blogs" that is current. But he uses the name "Basil's Meanderings" in addition to "Basil's Blog" so I'm not too concerned about that one.

Anyway, I'm going to give Sortapundit a hand and see what happens. Who knows? It might start a war.

What do you think?

Headline News: 3/31/2005

From ABC News:
Confused Cops Swarm Woman After Birth
Placenta not charged

From ABC News:
Prince Albert Assumes Monaco Royal Powers
Finally let out of can

From ABC News:
Hizbollah Challenges U.S. to Take Away Its Weapons
Hizbollah doesn't follow the news

From ABC News:
Yushchenko Blames Opponents for Poisoning
Originally blamed supporters

From ABC News:
Prince Charles Reveals Anguish With Media
Prince: "They make me look like a big-eared, horse-face poof. And my ears are not really that big."

From ABC News:
Hilton Hotels to Install High-Tech Clocks
Clocks will show hours AND minutes

From ABC News:
Coochie Coochie Coo: Studies Show Rats Enjoy Tickling
And apparently are fans of Charo

From ABC News:
Japan Unveils Tsunami Warning System Plan
Mothra to patrol off-shore airspace, notify Godzilla, who will run through streets warning public

From ABC News:
Belly Fat Good Predictor of Diabetes in Men
Also good indicator of obesity

From ABC News:
Spears Lashes Out Over Pregnancy Rumors
Particularly upset with 'Fat Whore Knocked Up' headline

From WDIV:
Girl hit by car on way to grandmother
Wolf sought; Described as 'big, bad'

From KSAT:
Sentences in City Hall bribery scandal
Phrases in headlines

Lunch 2005-03-31

Try one of these specials with your lunch:

Terri Schindler-Schiavo

Terri Schindler-SchiavoTerri's struggle for life has ended this morning.

December 3, 1963 - March 31, 2005

Breakfast 2005-03-31

Try one of these specials with your breakfast:

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

5 Questions (from moehawk) Answered

I must tell you that part of my personality profile is the inability to
make decisions. You'll probably figure that out from the anwers I give.
Here's the post from oystersnout ...and my answers...such as they are:

PGH: Signs the Terrorists are Losing

"You've got mail!" came the voice. I got up from the couch and walked over to the laptop. I reached down and moved the mouse. The screen cleared.

Hey, AOL's not running, I thought. "Hey, honey!" I called. "You got AOL open over there?"

The wife minimized her "Russian Square" game and looked her screen over. "Nope."

"I know I heard AOL say I've got mail, but it's not running," I said.

"Oh, that's Ahmed," came the reply.

Headline News: 3/30/2005

From KCTV [via Grandma's House]:
Bullet Whizzes Into Bathroom, Hits Woman
Flushes urinal, runs away

From CNN:
Georgia school to alter integration mural
1960s battle over desegregation now politically correct; Lynching photos from 1930s to be touched up

From CNN:
72 holes in 72 hours -- San Diego
Wilt Chamberlain's Guide to Southern California

From CNN:
Why new quake did not cause killer tsunami

From CNN/Business:
Review: Gizmondo loaded but doomed
Just like Bill Gates

From CNN:
Pope being fed through a tube
Satan hires George Felos, sues to have Pontiff removed

From ABC News:
Death Charged in Theft From Cemetery
Death defends: "I filled this place, I can remove stuff from it if I like"

From ABC News:
Should Kids Be Listed as Sex Offenders?
Not all of them, only the perverts

From ABC News:
Woman Sues Over 'Deceiving' Cereal Labels
Lawsuit: Kellogg's must show talking tiger

From ABC News:
Liberals Run Ads Demanding DeLay Resign
Conservatives okay with ads, means less money liberals will have to spend in 2008

Lunch 2005-03-30

Try one of these specials with your lunch:

Breakfast 2005-03-30

Try one of these specials with your breakfast:

WTW: Corncobs and Cattalogs

White Trash WednesdaysAunt Gladys done said sumthin' last week I been ponderin' on. She said sumthin about sissies using toilet paper. I rote her back and told her I am proud I ain't gotta use corn cobs no more. A'course most of the time I got to use Seers and Rowbuck cattalog, a'fore they kwit putten them out. I miss my cattalog.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Blog Warriors

When the Internet connection here was lost Sunday morning, the Great Blog War with Sortapundit was coming to a close. With this little blog nearly incapacitated, others in the War continued the fight, and at 12:49 PM (BST) on March 28, Sortapundit conceded.

Headline News: 3/29/2005

From Chicago Tribune:
Famed Attorney Johnnie Cochran Dies at 67
Next Judge won't be as easy as Lance Ito

From ABC News:
Jesse Jackson Urges Fla. Woman Be Kept Alive
First Ralph Nader, then Jesse Jackson sides with President; Temperature of Hell being closely monitored

From ABC News:
Most American Adults Are Sleep-Deprived
Reports like this keep us up at night

From ABC News:
Poll: Harvard Students Mostly Unhappy
Realized President Bush has a degree from Harvard

From ABC News:
Jerry Falwell in Critical Condition
Offers to starve him next come pouring in from left

From ABC News:
Akayev Prepared to Quit As Kyrgyz Leader
Political upheaval in SCRABBLE® World

From ABC News:
AP: Some Pakistanis Jailed Without Charge
The Americanization of Pakistan nearly complete

From ABC News:
N.Y. Times Sees Uneven Advertising
Just like its reporting

From CNN:
Fraternity suspended for porn film shoot
Clinton documentary still not finished

From CNN:
Rhames wasn't a 'Kojak' fan
Still no comment from Telly Savalas

From CNN International:
Report: Annan didn't know of son's ties
U.N. leader is incompetent and stupid

From Christian Science Monitor:
Bush faces decline in approval ratings
May not run for third term

Lunch 2005-03-29

Try one of these specials with your lunch:

Breakfast 2005-03-29

Limited connectivity means a quick meal. Try one of these specials with your breakfast:

Land Of The Trembling Earth II

After the wife (not the first one, but the new and improved model) and I met, I found out she was very unfamiliar with southeast Georgia. That in itself was not surprising. She wasn't from that area, so why should she know all about it? What did surprise me was that she knew nothing about southeast Georgia. I mean, nothing. At all. I don't even think she knew it was in the southeast part of the state!

Okay, that's a little harsh. Maybe. I mean, she had heard of Savannah. But, like most folks I've met who don't know Georgia, she probably figured it was near Atlanta. She'd deny this, of course, but she didn't know jack about Georgia. And she was born there.

Monday, March 28, 2005

Blog War Update

By now, you know that the Blog War with Sortapundit is over. The many, many sites that joined our side have our eternal gratitude.

Right now, we're still experiencing diminished Internet connectivity because of the lightning strike Sunday. We're borrowing a dial-up Internet connection at the moment, so we've got to keep it short. That also helps explain the abbreviated Headline News tonight.

We'll have more about Sortapundit tomorrow. Right now: Sortapundit, thank you for being a worthy competitor.

Headline News: 3/28/2005

From ABC News:
Bear Breaks Into Trailer Home in Alaska
Polar bears not only white, but white trash

From ABC News:
US Chief Justice Went to Hospital for Tube Problem
Since it's not a feeding tube, recent rulings don't apply

From ABC News:
Persistent Vegetative State vs. Minimally Conscious
How Howard Dean compared to Terry McCauliffe

From ABC News:
Shark Pickler Hirst Admits He's Had Silly Ideas
Silliest was pickling sharks

From ABC News:
'08 White House Race Draws Iowa's Interest
Iowans may finally care about an election; Candidates still don't care about Iowans

From CNN:
Patrick Kennedy considers taking on Chafee
Rhode Island may have to choose between a raving lunatic liberal, or a Kennedy

From BBC:
Beverly Hillbillies creator dies
Now it's time to say "Goodbye" to Paul from all his friends
We'd like to thank Paul Henning's crew for lettin' us drop in
We'll watch 'em all on TV Land and on Hallmark TV
And laugh at Jed and Granny and at Jethro and Ellie

Lunch 2005-03-28

Try one of these specials with your lunch:

Breakfast 2005-03-28

Try one of these specials with your breakfast:

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Learning to Cook II

Here's a bit of background information for those who didn't read Learning to Cook I. When I was about eleven or so, I was put in charge of fixing supper every now and then. Most of my first forays into cooking supper were absolute disasters, but we had to eat them anyway, because when a meal was prepared and put on the table, you ate it...whether you liked it or not...or whether it was edible or not.

One night I wanted to make chicken and dumplings.

Lightning, Etc.

Not that there would have been a lost of posts today anyway, but I've got a really good excuse: Lightning.

It has put our Internet service out. I'm borrowing a connection for this post.

At least I'll have some stories to tell.

In the meantime, go visit Sortapundit. He has been kind enough to withhold attacks during my emergency. Plus, if 100 people click on a link he has and take 30 seconds to visit in good faith, he'll post pictures of himself sitting in a pond. Plus he says a charity will benefit. Check it out. It might be worth your while. I'll furnish a duck for the pond if logistics can be worked out.

Again, to Sortapundit, thanks for the uncalled truce. And to all who have joined the fight against Sortapundit, thank you for your support. We'll need your help when hostilities resume!

Easter 2005

Chapter 24
  1. Now upon the first day of the week, very early in the morning, they came unto the sepulchre, bringing the spices which they had prepared, and certain others with them.
  2. And they found the stone rolled away from the sepulchre.
  3. And they entered in, and found not the body of the Lord Jesus.
  4. And it came to pass, as they were much perplexed thereabout, behold, two men stood by them in shining garments:
  5. And as they were afraid, and bowed down their faces to the earth, they said unto them, Why seek ye the living among the dead?
  6. He is not here, but is risen: remember how he spake unto you when he was yet in Galilee,
  7. Saying, The Son of man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men, and be crucified, and the third day rise again.
  8. And they remembered his words,
  9. And returned from the sepulchre, and told all these things unto the eleven, and to all the rest.
  10. It was Mary Magdalene and Joanna, and Mary the mother of James, and other women that were with them, which told these things unto the apostles.
  11. And their words seemed to them as idle tales, and they believed them not.
  12. Then arose Peter, and ran unto the sepulchre; and stooping down, he beheld the linen clothes laid by themselves, and departed, wondering in himself at that which was come to pass.
  13. And, behold, two of them went that same day to a village called Emmaus, which was from Jerusalem about threescore furlongs.
  14. And they talked together of all these things which had happened.
  15. And it came to pass, that, while they communed together and reasoned, Jesus himself drew near, and went with them.
  16. But their eyes were holden that they should not know him.
  17. And he said unto them, What manner of communications are these that ye have one to another, as ye walk, and are sad?
  18. And the one of them, whose name was Cleopas, answering said unto him, Art thou only a stranger in Jerusalem, and hast not known the things which are come to pass there in these days?
  19. And he said unto them, What things? And they said unto him, Concerning Jesus of Nazareth, which was a prophet mighty in deed and word before God and all the people:
  20. And how the chief priests and our rulers delivered him to be condemned to death, and have crucified him.
  21. But we trusted that it had been he which should have redeemed Israel: and beside all this, to day is the third day since these things were done.
  22. Yea, and certain women also of our company made us astonished, which were early at the sepulchre;
  23. And when they found not his body, they came, saying, that they had also seen a vision of angels, which said that he was alive.
  24. And certain of them which were with us went to the sepulchre, and found it even so as the women had said: but him they saw not.
  25. Then he said unto them, O fools, and slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken:
  26. Ought not Christ to have suffered these things, and to enter into his glory?
  27. And beginning at Moses and all the prophets, he expounded unto them in all the scriptures the things concerning himself.
  28. And they drew nigh unto the village, whither they went: and he made as though he would have gone further.
  29. But they constrained him, saying, Abide with us: for it is toward evening, and the day is far spent. And he went in to tarry with them.
  30. And it came to pass, as he sat at meat with them, he took bread, and blessed it, and brake, and gave to them.
  31. And their eyes were opened, and they knew him; and he vanished out of their sight.
  32. And they said one to another, Did not our heart burn within us, while he talked with us by the way, and while he opened to us the scriptures?
  33. And they rose up the same hour, and returned to Jerusalem, and found the eleven gathered together, and them that were with them,
  34. Saying, The Lord is risen indeed, and hath appeared to Simon.
  35. And they told what things were done in the way, and how he was known of them in breaking of bread.
  36. And as they thus spake, Jesus himself stood in the midst of them, and saith unto them, Peace be unto you.
  37. But they were terrified and affrighted, and supposed that they had seen a spirit.
  38. And he said unto them, Why are ye troubled? and why do thoughts arise in your hearts?
  39. Behold my hands and my feet, that it is I myself: handle me, and see; for a spirit hath not flesh and bones, as ye see me have.
  40. And when he had thus spoken, he shewed them his hands and his feet.
  41. And while they yet believed not for joy, and wondered, he said unto them, Have ye here any meat?
  42. And they gave him a piece of a broiled fish, and of an honeycomb.
  43. And he took it, and did eat before them.
  44. And he said unto them, These are the words which I spake unto you, while I was yet with you, that all things must be fulfilled, which were written in the law of Moses, and in the prophets, and in the psalms, concerning me.
  45. Then opened he their understanding, that they might understand the scriptures,
  46. And said unto them, Thus it is written, and thus it behooved Christ to suffer, and to rise from the dead the third day:
  47. And that repentance and remission of sins should be preached in his name among all nations, beginning at Jerusalem.
  48. And ye are witnesses of these things.
  49. And, behold, I send the promise of my Father upon you: but tarry ye in the city of Jerusalem, until ye be endued with power from on high.
  50. And he led them out as far as to Bethany, and he lifted up his hands, and blessed them.
  51. And it came to pass, while he blessed them, he was parted from them, and carried up into heaven.
  52. And they worshipped him, and returned to Jerusalem with great joy:
  53. And were continually in the temple, praising and blessing God. Amen.

Saturday, March 26, 2005

Headline News: 3/26/2005

From ABC News:
Sales Drop at Wendy's After Finger Found
More bad news: KFC sues over "Finger Lickin' Good" slogan

From ABC News:
Sad Easter for Catholics as Pope Still Sidelined
Resurrection of Christ takes back seat to Karol Wojtyla's illness

From ABC News:
Many Germans Want Berlin Wall Back, Study Finds
Other findings: The ovens weren't a bad idea, either

From ABC News:
Former UK Prime Minister Lord Callaghan Dies
Britain remembers it's Jimmy Carter

From ABC News:
Fiancee: Man Accused in Letterman Kidnap Plot Was Joking
Joke went like this: "Dear Dave. I'm going to kidnap your 15-month old son and hold him until you give me $5,000,000. Get it? Ha ha ha ha ha."

From CNN:
Husband's attorney: Terri Schiavo 'calm, peaceful'
Added: "She's too weak to do anything else. High-five, Michael!"

From CNN:
U. of Colorado balks at firing professor
Added: "If we caught him praying to God or wearing a cross, that would be grounds. But lying, plagerism, forgery, treason -- can't do anything to him."

From CNN:
College hosts wine and beer soirees
Formerly known as 'Frat Parties'

From CNN:
Sleep tips for the road-weary
Check into hotel, close eyes

From CNN:
Lufthansa takes over Swiss airline
Explains: "We need breathing room"

From CNN:
Exhibit highlights art of medical quackery
Most popular exhibit: Terri's current caregivers

From CNN:
Friends pay tribute to Jerry Orbach
Courtney Cox, Matthew Perry wonder why; Never met him

From CNN:
Craigslist gets beamed into space
Aliens' spam law tougher than ours, send battle fleet towards Earth

From CNN:
Sharpton targets violence in rap music
Okay to act like thug, just don't sing about it

From CNN:
Report: Tsunami hit women hardest
Water accused of being sexist

Brunch 2005-03-26

Try one of these specials with your weekend brunch:

Friday, March 25, 2005

Sortapundit Is Going Down!!

Sortapundit deserves credit for hanging on this long. On the other hand, continuing on in the face of overwhelming odds indicates either a fighting spirit, or sheer madness. I'm thinking both.

Filthy Lie: Evil Glenn's Investment Advice

The phone rang. I reached for the remote and hit mute.


"So, how's you little war going?" asked Frank J.

I smiled. "It's going great! To be honest, I'm thrill with all the support we've gotten. I don't know if it's because I'm an American and Sortapundit's from the U.K., but ..."

"Look, I really don't care. I called because we got a little cash to invest and Harvey suggested we get some ideas on the best way to do that. The group of us are calling different folks. I drew short straw and had to call you," said Frank J.

"Uh... okay," I said. "What can I do?"

Headline News: 3/25/2005

Slow news day.

From ABC News:
'Pioneer' With Weapons and Bibles Arrested
Johnny Marijuanaseed Arrested

From ABC News:
Calif. Inmate Swallows Handcuff Key
Now he'll get more time to practice swallowing

From ABC News:
Schindlers, Kevorkian Discuss Schiavo Case
Kevorkian to place a house call to Michael

From ABC News:
Blockbuster Drops Hostile Hollywood Bid
Hostile Hollywood goes back to attacking President

From ABC News:
Man Sells Device That Blocks Fox News
Calls it the "Off Button"

From CNN:
DA: Blake jurors 'incredibly stupid'
Only O.J. jury, first Menendez Brothers jury may be stupider

From CNN:
Cheating wife gets millions in divorce
Whore gets paid

Lunch 2005-03-25

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Breakfast 2005-03-25

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Search Engine Silliness IV

Our weekly round-up of posts related to Search Engines.

The Blog War with Sortpundit has taken much time, but we've still managed to find some posts related to Search Engines this week. In no particular order, here are this week's posts:

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Search Engine Disappointments VIII

Trying to reel it in a little this week. I've pared the listings of the search phrases that people have used to get to this blog. Some are surprising in that this little blog is a search result. And those must be real disappointments to those that came here looking for stuff that just isn't here.

For instance:

The Big Sister's Headlines 3/24/05

Woman Eating Chili Bites Into Human Finger

If the chili is the woman-eating variety (which would make it well beyond hot and spicy!) then what did it expect?

Maine College Hosts Wine, Beer Tastings

Spokesman Bluto quoted as saying, "Grab a brew. Don't cost nothin'....My advice to you is to start drinking heavily."  And that's how the tastings became guzzlings...

U.S. Won't Confirm Reports on Kyrgyzstan

Because the spell-checker keeps putting little squiggles under kyrgyzstan

Kyrgyzstan Leader Reportedly Flees Country

He couldn't spell it either... When the driver asked where he wanted to go, he said, "Oh, man, I don't know." He was last seen in Oman...

Kyrgyzstan Opposition Facing Next Move

Oman is looking better and better...

Regimes Quiet About Kyrgyzstan Revolution

They're afraid they'll be asked to spell it when the media ask for correct spelling for quotes

Plants Challenge Genetic Inheritance Laws

At the annual conference, plant spokesman Herb Tuber, claimed using grass made vegetables out of the perennial nuts and fruits in attendance, and the only ones allowed to remain in the gene pool should be the water plants.

Feds Award Contracts to Clean Nuke Sites

Merry Maids inundated with work...

Museum to Show Dinosaurs Being Taken Apart

Well, that explains why we don't know if they're reptiles or birds. They're neither. They're LEGOS!

Fighting Cows to Face New Doping Tests

Suspected case of steroid use in fight with Bugs Bunny...

Elderly Woman Faces Murder Charge in Pa.

Ma Kettle reportedly on the lam...

Minn. Company Recalls Frozen Cookie Dough

Spokesman: "I knew her when she was just a chocolate chip off the old block of frozen dough. Although she sometimes turned a cold shoulder to others, it's a shame she'd end up a half-baked fruitcake..."

Teacher Claims Shroud of Turin Is Fake

Well, after years of controversy, it's a relief to finally have that settled...

Teacher Claims Shroud of Turin Is Fake

Shroud of Turin claims teacher is fake

British Lawmaker Demands Royal Answer

No, your highness...

Judge: Ga. Sheriff Can't Fire En Masse

He can't fire in prayer meeting or Sunday School either...

Drunk Driving Suspect Nabbed at Drive-Thru

I don't have anything humorous to add; that's funny enough on its own...

Lunch: 2005-03-24

Try one of these specials with your lunch:

Breakfast: 2005-03-24

Try one of these specials with your breakfast:


Let me tell you a little about moehawk. And it's moehawk. Not Moehawk. Or Mowhawk. Or Mohawk. But moehawk. Want to know where he came up with the name? I can't help you. Maybe it's his name. Like basil is my name. Maybe he made it up. Maybe that's an old nickname from school. Or prison. Maybe he stole someone's credit cards and took their identity. I don't know where the name came from. Go ask him.

Anyway, moehawk's been coming to this little blog from way back. He was the third person to comment here. Actually, it was on Blogger/Blogspot at the time. But you get my point. On December 16, 2004, moehawk said:

you're pretty funny! not quite as funny as Frank J, but funny enough that i bookmarked your site. by the're a good debater too!

That's high praise, because I, too, think Frank J. is one funny man. Of course, if he doesn't start posting seven days a week, I'm going to top him on Google searches for IMAO. But, enough of that. More about moehawk.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Fred The Gnome

GnomeFred the Gnome, who was left guarding Chuck's Chat while Chuck went on Spring Break has been on Spring Break himself. He has accepted almost every invitation offered him, and has left Chuck's place completely unattended.

Anyway, he stopped by here and said "Hi!" while on his way to Gulf Shores or somewhere.

He was concerned what might happen if Chuck got back and found out he was gone. But, then some hot chicks trying to go to Panama City made a wrong turn at La Grange or something and ended up here, so Fred forgot all about Chuck again.

The girls decided to head to Orange Beach or Gulf Shores rather than backtrack. They can't read maps well. Anyway, they said that Fred was cute and invited him to go with them. Seems they have a thing for gnomes.

Sortapundit's Life Just Got Hard

Sortapundit is back on the defensive again. The 24 hour cease-fire for White Trash Wednesday has officially ended and hostilities can resume any time. The battle continues, and we have a ways to go. Of those in the battle, our forces lead most of the phrases, and have the top spot in several. However Sortapundit's forces have the top spot in some areas.

But, we have good news. Very good news. Although this little blog and Sortapundit are both members of the Alliance of Free Blogs, the Alliance has decided to take sides. Harvey of Bad Example announced that the Alliance has taken our side!

That in itself should be enough to convince everyone that it's just a matter of time before this war reaches the inevitable conclusion of victory for the Blog Warriors battling Sortapundit.

WTW: Whudda Yew Meen?

White Trash WednesdaysI ain't nere seen no such as this. All this hullabaloo bout white trash. Holy moses, ain't none a y'all even seen paper? Its all white...lessen you ben hi-falutin to tha Walmarks and bought some a that fancy stuff. Them newspapers is white, them letters from tha bill collectors is white, them eviction notices is white. Whut's the big deel...hang on jest a minute...whut...they meen whut??

Oh, never mind.

Aunt Gladys

Headline News: 3/23/2005

From ABC News:
Error Leads to 'American Idol' Revote
Producers had fixed balloting incorrectly, wrong person voted off

From ABC News:
Monkeys Steal When No One's Looking
That explains all the stolen items in Chris Griffin's closet

From ABC News:
Poll: No Role for Government in Schiavo Case
Polls had Kerry winning in November

From ABC News:
Ailing Pope Makes Silent Appearance
Andrew McCarthy, Jonathan Silverman on either side side

From ABC News:
Bush Says Kim Jong-Il 'Must Listen' on Nuclear
Only he pronounced it 'noo-cu-lar'

From ABC News:
Schiavo Videotape Misleading, Experts Say
Accuse Terri of acting from a script

From ABC News:
DiCaprio Helps Launch Clean Water Campaign
Wants everyone to have clean drinking water ... except Terri

From CNN:
Texas high court blocks scheduled Wednesday execution
Terri should have killed restaurateur

From WCVB:
Investigators probe cause of blast
Explosion suspected

From CNN money:
Before saying 'I do', more go to Target
Redneck weddings on increase

From CNN:
Clemens' prize Hummer stolen
Everybody Remembers Their First Hummer

From Seattle Times:
Bush, McCain plug Social Security
President, Senator sought in drive-by

WTW: What's Worse Than Trash?

White Trash WednesdaysYou know, folks pick on us White Trash from time to time. We ain't the smartest folk in the world. We know it. But we sure has fun getting on each other about things. It's a joke, but there's a lot of truth about a redneck's last words being "Hey, y'all! Watch this!"

We sometimes do stupid stuff. We sometimes get drunk and hurt folks. But, most of the time, we don't mean nothing by it. That don't make it okay. But we understand.

And, lots of places don't like to see us coming. Sure, we're welcome at the Wal-mart and Sam's Club and places like that. Target gets a little uppity, but they're just a Wal-mart painted red.

Lots of folks consider us the lowest of the low. But, with all the problems that come with being White Trash, we are NOT the lowest of the low.

There's folks that even we won't hang around, folks we're a heaps lot better than:

Lunch: 3/23/2005

Try one of these specials with your lunch:

WTW: Where I Come From

White Trash WednesdaysHey, y'all. How are y'all doin'? Cuzin Basil told us (us bein' some of his cuzins) that we can show up at our cuzins houses on Wensdays and type all we want on their fancy typewriter tv things.

Cuzin Red told me he done typed some and it was fun. He said cuzin basils got all kinds of thingamajigs that you gotta mash buttons on what looks like them fancy addin masheens in his house and cuzin basils gonna explain them to him some time, and Mrs. cuzin Basil has all kinds of chickens and goats and things. Now I'm more inclined to want to know more about them chickens and things myself, but I gotta use one of them typewriter tv thingys to talk to y'all, so that's what I'm a'gonna do.

Breakfast: 3/23/2005

Try one of these specials with your breakfast:

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

WTW: Fun and Games

White Trash WednesdaysWell, we got all moved in last week. I appreciate Lance helping me out. I was a little disappointed that Beulah Mae was off doing stuff, but hey, that's how it goes. She did show up later and that was cool. I think I upset her with my book thingy I sent her. I wasn't acting all uppity or nothing, but it seemed that way. But, I ain't no dummy. Got 17 hours credits from Florida State University, Valdosta State, and Waycross College. And I earned every one of them. Took me 6 years, cause I stay at something once I start.

24 Hour Cease Fire

Sortapundit has said he will be visiting some of the kin folk at the Trailer Park today as part of White Trash Wednesday. We've got kin folk there, too. So, to avoid unnecessary bloodshed, we're asking that all participants in the Blog War observe the cease-fire.

Note that hostilities have not ended, but in the same spirit as the Christmas Truce of World War I, we're calling a truce so some families can have a good time.

We expect that the battle will be rejoined at 12:00 AM Thursday. We appreciate your support and your efforts in this epic struggle, and firmly hope and believe that we will prevail.

Headline News: 3/22/2005

From CNN:
Harvard votes no-confidence in Summers
Faculty upset that he thinks men and women are different

From CNN:
Villain announced for 'Spider-Man 3'
Thomas Haden Church will play Orkin Man

From CNN:
Rumsfeld: Insurgency slows progress
Defense Secretary attains grasp of obvious

From CNN:
Rice heats up N. Korean rhetoric
North Koreans heat up rice for supper

From KSBW:
Mountain lion spotted near golf course
Normally, it's leopards that are spotted

From WEWS:
Safe containing $5,000 found in river
Safes can't swim

From KOAT:
Want to attend prom? Take alcohol class
Demi Moore registers

From CNN:
Egypt opposition candidate charged
Batteries were low

From CNN:
School gunman stole police pistol, vest and car
Gun control advocates join forces with vest control, car control advocates

From CNN:
Packer, Ho in Macau casino deal
Brett Favre, Madonna start entertainment company

From CNN:
15 years for absent al-Zarqawi
That'll show him

From ABC News:
Blake Says He's Ready to 'Live Again'
Puts murdering his wife behind him

Tuesday Lunch: More Terri, and More

Try one of these specials with your lunch:



Tuesday Breakfast: Diet

Try one of these specials with your breakfast:

Monday, March 21, 2005

Land Of The Trembling Earth, Part 1

Though my wife was born in Georgia, she lived and grew up in Alabama. Close enough to Georgia that the county is on Eastern Time, even though it's officially Central Time. I mean, all the banks, the cable company, even BellSouth show Eastern Time on all their stuff. So Georgia isn't foreign territory to her. But she hadn't spent much time in Southeast Georgia. That changed after she met me.

Sortapundit Is White Trash

No, this is not a personal attack against Sortapundit. He admits as much on his Web site today. And that's one of two things he says about himself today. The other is that he isn't French.

Headline News: 2005-03-21

From ABC News:
Four-Legged Frequent Fliers
Aliens from Omicron Persei VIII rack up the miles with every visit to Earth

From ABC News:
Cabaret Singer Bobby Short Dies
Sadly, no on knew he was still alive

From ABC News:
The Mystery of Hogzilla Solved
Scientists conclude large dead hog was a large dead hog

From ABC News:
Man Arrested After Saying He Killed Family
That will cause it to happen

From ABC News:
Arabs Reject Normalization With Israel
Prefer to be blown up by Israeli tanks

From ABC News:
Parker Bowles in Line to Become Queen
If Elton John retires

From ABC News:
Are Girl Scouts Pushing Junk Food?
People with nothing better to complain about discover that Girl Scout Cookies are cookies

From ABC News:
Selena's Legacy Grows After Her Death
If only she was that talented when she was alive

From ABC News:
Stallone to Induct Hogan in Hall of Fame
Newkirk, LeBeau fail to receive enough votes

From ABC News:
A Look at the Characters From 'Robots'
Yep, they're robots

Supreme Court sidesteps dispute over Bush appointment of Pryor
Supporters of Chris Rock, Robin Williams disappointed with ruling

From Washington Post:
Driver Dies in Submerged Car
Kennedy: "Hmph. Amateur."

From Channel News Asia, Singapore:
Bush fire rages on for hours at Lorong Halus
President sought for questioning

Monday Lunch: Pic-a-nic Basket Lunch

Try one of these specials with your lunch:

Monday Breakfast: Golf Club Sandwich

Try one of these specials with your breakfast:

Sunday, March 20, 2005

Join The War Against Sortapundit

As the battle rages against the evil Sortapundit, we on the Good Guys side have been gratified by all the support we have received. And we would like for you to join the fray. If you need background, read the background posts here. Or visit one of the Blog Warriors listed below.

To join the War against that crumpet muncher Sortapundit, here's what we ask:

Headline News: 3/20/2005

From CNN:
Notre Dame keeps Irish language alive
Perhaps if Terri was a language...

From CNN:
Schiavo's mom begs: 'Save my little girl'
Meanwhile, Michael has lunch with his mentor, Satan

From CNN:
Bangladesh bans smoking in public
Ron White already working on new 'Tater Salad' routine

From CNN:
Is Demi Moore pregnant?
But that would mean... EEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

From CNN:
U.S. probes Yucca Mountain documents
Mountain says diaries were private

From CNN:
Robots wobble but don't fall down
Weebles plan to take over Earth from humans

From CNN:
Yahoo to step into blogosphere
Company finally believes this Internet thing might actually take off

From CNN:
Martha Stewart may be resentenced
Her release was such a hit, networks demand sequel

From CNN money:
Automaker DeLorean dies
Forever stuck in 2005

From WGAL:
Internet games help students learn
Will have promising career surfing the Net at work

From KGTV:
Catholic Funeral Services Denied To Gay Business Man
Should have become a priest and been attracted to boys instead of men

From WRTV:
Police search for 'Handsome Bandit'
But ... I'm not a bandit!

From KOAT:
Medical marijuana bill awaits House
Sponsors keep forgetting to offer it on the floor of Legislature

From KMGH:
Men accused of setting cat on fire
Defend actions: 'We like really hot pussy'

From CNN International:
McCartneys: Bush is behind us
Bush: Those McCartney sisters have some really cute butts

From CNN International:
Qatar car bomber 'was Egyptian'
Walked just like song said

I'm An American. Sortapundit Isn't.

Like there was any doubt. And, even though he won't take our side is this great Blog War, we do thank Pirate's Cove for leading us to this quiz.

Captain Teach, I'm having a difficult time believing you answered the questions about being for us or against us in any way that would not support the great cause of Americans against that crumpet muncher, Sortapundit. [UPDATE: Pirate's Cove has since declared on the side of the Good Guys in the battle against Sortapundit.]

In fact, Sortapundit has begun a quest for foreign aid. We Americans are notorious for our willingness to assist others, sometimes more than each other. But that's part of being an American. And we will help out Sortapundit in his time of need. And we encourage others, those part of this coalition and those who haven't taken sides, to assist Sortapundit. Because we're Americans. We'll help you with our right hand while bashing your skull with our left. Or the other way around. It doesn't matter. We're Americans.

Sortapundit Will Fail!!

Good Guys Battle FlagSortapundit is hanging tough in this battle. Although Sortapundit has made some advancements, others who have taken up the cause in this Blog War have made the outcome clear.

That crumpet muncher Sortapundit, who wears a thong -- and not a pirate thong, mind you -- continues his futile battle to capture the top spot in the seven sacred search terms.

All brave members of the Good Guys in the battle against Sortapundit and his minions (but hold the cheese) are asked to continue the task of posting the seven sacred search terms and calling the thong-wearing crumpet muncher Sortapundit bad name.

That'll show him.

Sunday Brunch: Carnival Food

Try one of these specials with your weekend dining.

Covered Dish Special:
If you have an interesting post we've missed that
you'd like to share, please leave a TrackBack to that post, and please
link to this post so that others can enjoy the fun. You can always use Adam Kalsey's Simpletracks form, or the Wizbang Standalone Trackback Pinger if you don't have the capabilities on your blog. TrackBacks will show here.

Saturday, March 19, 2005

Search Engine Silliness III

One of the best and worst things about the Internet are the Search Engines, such as Google, Yahoo!, MSN Search, and such. They can many times be very helpful and assist you in locating just what you want. But they aren't always the easiest to use, particularly to beginners. They also frustrate experts on occasion.

This is the third in an open-ended series of wrap-ups of interesting, frustrating, funny, or just plain odd posts related to Search Engine Silliness.

The War With Sortpundit: Update 2005-03-19

Good Guys Battle FlagThe war against that crumpet muncher, Sortapundit, is progressing. The Bad Guys have made some progress in their attempt to surpass this little blog in the search engine rankings of certain phrases.

We cannot express how excited and proud we are that so many have taken up our cause:

The Alliance
21st Century Paladin
Assumption of Command
Down for Repairs
GOP and College
GOP and the City
Mean Ol' Meany
MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy
Nickie Goomba
Ogre's Politics & Views
Our Life
phin's blog
Pirate's Cove
The View from the Bunker
Travis Benning
Tursiops Times

The battle continues, and both sides have made strides. Since the battlefield results are so fluid, we are offering this table to see where everyone rates in the current rankings:

Headline News: 3/19/2005

From ABC News:
EU Threatens Microsoft With New Fines
Haven't said what they'll do if Microsoft takes their software and goes home

From ABC News:
Lawmaker Seeks to End 'Sexy' Cheerleading
Fear of being kissed and shot by Chris Cooper cited as top reason

From ABC News:
Burning Cow Dung Starts Colorado Wildfire
Satan's cows on rampage

From ABC News:
'Satan' Said to Appear on Turtle's Shell
Asks 'Have you seen my cows?'

From ABC News:
Woman Paid Invisible 'Mermaids' Airfare
Crazy women not on airlines' watch list

From ABC News:
Empty Car Starts Up, Crashes Into House
Invisible mermaid terrorists on rampage

From ABC News:
Judge Refuses to Let Cousins Marry
For now, they'll just keep fonicating pending a move to West Virginia

From ABC News:
Shooting, Missteps Hurt Atlanta's Image
Long for good old days when city was known as 'Home to the Child-killer' and 'Site of the Olympic Bombing'

From ABC News:
N.Y. Residents Upset Over Sale of Cannon
Fears attack from New Jersey

From ABC News:
Michael Schiavo's Dilemma
'How do I kill my wife and still sleep at night?'

From ABC News:
Activists Protest Iraq War on Anniversary
Call for return of Saddam to power

From ABC News:
Pope to Usher in Holy Week on Sidelines
Hopes to be full strength by playoffs

From ABC News:
N.Y. Prayer Service Irks Mideast Muslims
Mideast clerics proclaim: 'Allah a misogynist'

From ABC News:
Haiti Shops Strike to Protest Violence
Will beat up anyone who crosses picket line

From ABC News:
Reba McEntire Debuts Clothing Line
Clothes look just like Jennifer Lopez's line, except for the normal-sized ass

Saturday Brunch: Bourbon

Try one of these specials with your weekend dining.

Covered Dish Special:
If you have an interesting post we've missed that
you'd like to share, please leave a TrackBack to that post, and please
link to this post so that others can enjoy the fun. You can always use Adam Kalsey's Simpletracks form, or the Wizbang Standalone Trackback Pinger if you don't have the capabilities on your blog. TrackBacks will show here.

Search Engine Disappointments VII

Checking this week's visitor logs was a little different, because the Great Blog War against Sortapundit. Still, it was interesting to see some new and unusual searches used to find this little blog. And, it's quite evident from some of them that they weren't looking for this little blog.