Saturday, February 28, 2009

Paul Harvey

President Bush awards radio commentator Paul Harvey, the Presidential Medal of Freedom Award in the East Room of the White House, Wednesday, Nov. 9, 2005, in Washington. The Presidential Medal of Freedom is the nation's highest civilian award, and recognizes exceptional meritorious service.(AP Photo/Lawrence Jackson)

My first job was at a radio station in my home town.

We were an ABC Radio affiliate. News every hour on the half-hour on the AM station, and every hour on the hour on the FM side.

But both the AM and FM stations carried Paul Harvey.

Paul Harvey was always popular with the older audience. But, in a small, south Georgia town, he was popular with most folks. A teenage me included.

His 5-minute "News and Comments" at 8:30 every morning was a staple. As was the quarter-hour version at 12:30.

But many people's favorite was "The Rest of the Story."

I remember when "The Rest of the Story" began. The first episode was about a little boy named Leslie Lynch King. The rest of the staff listened intently, following along, not knowing what to expect; after all, it was the first episode.

Of course, the little boy took his adopted father's name, and eventually became President Gerald Rudolph Ford. The radio station staff was fascinated, and was hooked from that episode forward.

I knew President Ford's birth name, so the surprise ending was no surprise, but the program was still well-done. I was hooked, too.

And that was the thing about Paul Harvey. It wasn't what he said. It was how he said it.

And no one said it better.

Paul Harvey died today.

I'm going to miss his broadcasts. I'm going to miss his comments. I'm going to miss his sense of humor. I'm going to miss "The Rest of the Story."

Most of all, I'm going to miss hearing "Paul Harvey ... good day!"

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Jeremiah 13:25

There's not much I can add to this. The picture sort of says it all.

This is a real photograph from the Columbus Public Library.

Photo by Brian Bolton. Used with permission

The thing is, I'm not sure the folks at the library were actually wrong. Many people seem to worship their computers, whether Macs, PCs, mainframes, handhelds, or whatever. And many people read more computer books than they do Bibles.

Kind of gives a whole new meaning to "Gates of Hell," doesn't it?

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Full text of Obama's speech

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves

Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;

All mimsy were the borogoves,

And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!

The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!

Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun

The frumious Bandersnatch!"


He took his vorpal sword in hand:

Long time the manxome foe he sought...

So rested he by the Tumtum tree,

And stood awhile in thought.


And as in uffish thought he stood,

The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,

Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,

And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! and through and through

The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!

He left it dead, and with its head

He went galumphing back.


"And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?

Come to my arms, my beamish boy!

O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"

He chortled in his joy.

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves

Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;

All mimsy were the borogoves,

And the mome raths outgrabe.


Monday, February 23, 2009

Caption this!

Have you seen the picture from the National Governors Association? It shows a bunch of governors listening to the president.

Sonny Perdue listens to Obama
Source: Atlanta Journal-Constitution

That's Georgia governor Sonny Perdue in the middle.

I imagine I look a lot like that after hearing Obama speak for more more than a minute.

But what do you think Governor Perdue is thinking?


I've been watching all the "best" movies.

I took the AFI's "100 Years, 100 Movies" list from 1998, their updated version from 2007, AFI's "10 Top 10" (their picks for the top 10 movies in 10 categories: Animation, Romantic comedy, Westerns, Sports, Mystery, Fantasy, Science fiction, Gangster, Courtroom dramas, Epics), and the Academy Awards® "Best Picture" winners, and put them all in one big list.

Some films are in more than one list, so the combine listing has 222 films.

I've now seen 150 of them. I have 72 more to go.

I'm telling you, it's hard -- really hard -- to watch some of the crap that has come out of Hollywood over the years.

But, it gives me an idea...

Let's make all the detainees at Guantánamo Bay watch the movies on that list. All of them. Some of them twice.

What would the Hollywood elite say then?

Would they admit their films are torture?

Or would they finally shut up and let us use the tactics necessary to get the information from the terrorists?

How many points is Ginsburg, anyway?

Sen. Jim Bunning (R-KY) indicated that he thinks Associate Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg will be dead within a year.

During a wide-ranging 30-minute speech on Saturday at the Hardin County Republican Party's Lincoln Day Dinner, Bunning said he supports conservative judges "and that's going to be in place very shortly because Ruth Bader Ginsburg ... has cancer."

"Bad cancer. The kind that you don't get better from," he told a crowd of about 100 at the old State Theater.

"Even though she was operated on, usually, nine months is the longest that anybody would live after (being diagnosed) with pancreatic cancer," he said.

Now he's apologized.

I know, cancer's not anything to joke about. I've had friends die from it. I've had family members die from it. Heck, I was even misdiagnosed with it one time.

Cancer is scary stuff.

But it's not always fatal.

Still, I help but wonder if Ginsburg will be on sombody's Ghoul Pool list next year.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Who dealt it?

The Wife and I carpool most of the time. We work just a few blocks apart and our schedules are usually in sync. So, it makes sense to ride together.

Friday afternoon, I left work, drove over to where she works, and called when I got there.

No answer.

Called her desk phone.

No answer.

So, I decided to get out of the car and enjoy the outside while I waited for her.

Called her cell phone, no answer, then left a message. This while I was standing on the sidewalk.

I waited about ten minutes, then she came out the door.

We walked over to the car, I unlocked, opened the door, and she got inside.

I walked around to the driver's side, opened the door, and sat down in the seat.

That's when I smelled it.

It was an unpleasant smell. Very unpleasant.

I looked over at her, thinking ... well, you remember the old SmartBeep commercial, right?

She was looking at me. Only, it wasn't a guilty look. It was more ... accusing.

"You couldn't wait?" she asked.

"Well, if I had known what was in store, I would have let the windows down and walked around the car a few times," I replied.

"What?" She didn't understand. She thought I had let one loose. And I thought her lunch from Country's Barbeque had reacted badly.

"Wasn't me," I said.

"Wasn't me," she said.

Was one of us lying?

Turns out, she said, there had been a problem with smells in the restrooms at her workplace.

I thought: "The restroom smells like sh*t? Well, duh!"

But, she was saying, a bad smell was coming in, perhaps from the city sewage system, and that may have been what we encountered.

At least, that's the story we're both sticking to.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

First they come for your monkey, then they come for your Fuehrer...

We mentioned the other day that monkeys are now off-limits for humor. We pointed out that the left compared President Bush to a chimp often. But, after that cartoon in the New York Post, it seems that monkeys are now off-limits for humor. Because it's offensive. And racist. Even when no racial comparison is made.

But think back. The left did more than compare President Bush to a chimp. Remember? They also compared him to Hitler. A lot.

But, according to a Fox News report, using Hitler in humor is now verboten.

...not everyone is laughing. The film itself was criticized for its humanizing portrayal of the Nazi dictator. Now some people are complaining about the YouTube parodies, which play Hitler up for laughs.

An umbrella organization representing Holocaust survivors in Israel asked YouTube on Tuesday to take down one of the spoofs, in which Hitler complains about the lack of parking spaces in Tel Aviv, according to The Jerusalem Post. The organization said that the clip was grossly insensitive to the feelings of elderly Holocaust survivors.

Which means, no more Hitler videos. No more watching Hitler meltdown over his XBox Live account.

[The YouTube]

They say you can't use monkeys in humor.

They say you can't use Hitler in humor.

Maybe all the good monkey humor has been used up. Maybe it's now tiresome to make Hitler references.

You can still make fun of Jesus, though.

But only until the left gets tired of the references to "Obamessiah."

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Monkeying around

Racism abounds.

From liberals.

They're finding racism all over the place. It's amazing where people find racism. Frank J. pointed out how silly it is that people are calling a cartoon in the New York Post racist, because it has a monkey in it. Okay, chimpanzee. Still, you get my point.

So, are monkeys off limits for humor?

No more funny monkey videos?

That'd be a shame.

The good news, though, is that you can still use monkeys in political humor.

You can do this:


You cannot do this:

Obama reachCurious George reach

Any questions?

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Blackberry, Twitter, and Facebook

I never understood the whole Blackberry thing.

Until I got one.

I was going to get an iPhone, but AT&T's service in Columbus and the area isn't up to par with Verizon's. So, the next best thing? Looked like a Blackberry.

Now that I have one, I'm hooked.

And it has an unexpected ... to me, anyway ... side effect.

I've been on Facebook for a while. And Twitter for a bit, too. Only because I wanted to see what they were all about. My feeling? I can sum it up by "Um, okay, I don't get it."

And I guess that's because I only checked once a day, around suppertime. I'd rather read a blog, than a bunch of "I'm having spaghetti" or "Oh, the sky is so blue today" and such that you find on Twitter.

Facebook is a little more than that, of course. But still, it takes some getting used to, especially with going there just once a day.

But the Blackberry changes all that. Apps like TwitterBerry allow me to quickly access Twitter to update my status, or read others' statuses.

Then, there's the Facebook application for Blackberry. That allows you to access many of Facebook's features quickly. Or, go to Facebook itself.

Then, there's the Facebook Twitter application. That allows you to update Facebook from Twitter. It says you can update Twitter from Facebook, but I never got that to work. But, it does update Facebook from Twitter.

So, if I want to change my status, I do it with the Twitter app (TwitterBerry). If I want to check Facebook, I do it with the Facebook app.

There is one catch. If you update with TwitterBerry, your Facebook status does update. But the status you see on the Facebook app isn't updated. Not sure why. But your actual Facebook status is updated.

It's not perfect. So, if there's another way, I'm wanting to learn.

The Blackberry has done to me what it's done to so many others. It's addicted me to a Blackberry. And, it's making Facebook and Twitter more a part of my life.

Yes, it's silly. I know.

But my name is Basil. And I'm an addict. And I'm going to stay that way.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Swiss bank accounts

So That President (previously known as "That One") wants the U.S. to adopt the "Swiss model" for banks.

That's what the Financial Times reports:

Barack Obama, the president, who has tried to avoid panicking lawmakers and markets by entertaining the idea, has recently moved more towards what he calls the "Swedish model"

Ignoring for now the bunch of RINOs that are reported to be supporting this, I must say that I'm not surprised that Obama favors the Swiss model for banks.

After all, all the mob connections he has have been using Swiss banks for years.

Oh, wait. "SWEDISH" banks. The SWEDISH model. That's different.

If it comes with the Swedish girls volleyball team, I'm all for it.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Shooting blanks

Newsday reports that New York's new Senator, Kirsten Gillibrand (D), is removing two rifles from under her bed:

Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-N.Y.) has moved the two rifles that she kept under the bed to protect her upstate New York home, her spokesman Matt Canter said Monday.

"Given that the location of the guns has been disclosed, they have been moved for security reasons," Canter said.

That's silly.

They're saying that now that people know where she keeps them, it's a problem.

I don't understand the problem.

If we had a female Senator in, say, Georgia, Alabama, Tennessee, or some other southern state, and if she kept her guns under her bed, she'd not only tell the reporter doing an interview, she'd have a sign up in the yard warning anyone who dared try unauthorized entry into the home.

Heck, there are eight shoulder-fired weapons (rifles and shotguns) and two hand-held weapons in my bedroom. Yes, they're loaded.

I guess that means I can't be a Senator from New York.

Their loss.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Washington's Birthday, 2009

It's Washington's Birthday.

Okay, it's not really, but today's the day we officially observe Washington's Birthday in the U.S.

What's that? You thought it was "Presidents Day?" Why would you think that?

Oh, someone told you that? You read it on a calendar? Some newshead on TV said it?

Guess what? They're wrong. And they probably don't even know it. Living in their own ignorance. Probably Obama voters.

Let's clear up this whole "Presidents Day" thing first.

In 1968, the federal government started screwing around with holidays. They decided that it was more convenient and cost-effective to observe holidays on a Monday. The holidays they had in mind were Washington's Birthday, Memorial Day, Columbus Day, and Veterans Day.

When the bill went into effect in 1971, things went all kaflooey.

Some wondered what happened to Lincoln's Birthday. Turns out, it was never a federal holiday, although lots of states celebrated it. Georgia, for instance, had February 12th as a state holiday. Of course, it was the anniversary of the founding of Georgia ("Georgia Day"), so it'd have been a holiday if Lincoln had never been born.

Anyway, there was a newspaper spoof in 1971 that mentioned "Presidents Day," taking advantage of the whole "where'd Lincoln go" thing. But, Executive Order 11582 said nothing about "Presidents Day." The actual wording of United States Code (5 U.S.C. 6103) says "Washington's Birthday."

You can read more at the urban legends Website Snopes.

So there.

Now, let's talk about George Washington.

If you're not celebrating his birthday, you must be a communist. Or British. Or some other kind of foreigner. Or an Obama voter. Or, more likely, two of those.

George Washington was born February 11, 1732. You see, Virginia, a British colony at the time, used the Julian calendar. And, when Augustine and Mary Ball Washington added that little bundle of joy, that's what the calendar said.

When England joined the rest of the civilized world by adopting the Gregorian calendar in 1752, George Washington's birthday became February 11 O.S. and February 22 N.S. That's "old style" and "new style." Eventually, "new style" fell out of usage, though the calendar stayed.

George Washington became a surveyor, joined the Virginia militia, fought in the Seven Years War (AKA the French and Indian War), married a rich widow, fooled around a lot, and became a successful businessman.

As tensions mounted between the colonies and the British Crown, Washington led the American forces in the Revolutionary War, culminating in the British surrender and recognition of the United States of American as a soverign nation. After several unsuccessful governments were established under the Articles of Confederation, a new Constitution was adopted in 1789. The presidential electors unanimously selected Washington as the first President, the only person ever so honored.

Washington served two terms, retired, and lived a quiet life until 1799.

Then, nearly a century and three-quarters after he died, the very government he helped found started screwing around with his birthday again. It's now officially observed on the 3rd Monday in February. Which means it can be as early as the 15th, and as late as the 21st. But never on his real birthday, the 22nd.

It takes a government to really screw something up.

Still, it's the best government we have. Still. If we can keep it.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

The "best" movies

I like movies. Not all movies. But some. Or a lot. I guess it depends on how much "a lot" is.

I've always enjoyed going to the movies. I never wanted to be in the movies. And won't. But watching a good movie is ... better than good. It's great.

When I was just out of high school, I was a night DJ at the radio station in my home town. Got off work at midnight, then would go home and watch "The All Knight Movie" that the station in Savannah would show. Saw lots of classic movies, and gained an appreciation of black and white films.

Later, when I worked in Jacksonville (20-25 years ago), I would use my time off to go to the movies.

At Orange Park, just south of Jacksonville, there were three theatres all right together. You could see them all from a single spot while driving. That place had the most movies showing at a close proximity than any place in the Jacksonville area.

So, come weekend, or if I got an early night, I'd head to Orange Park and have a great chance of finding a movie playing that I'd like.

Haven't gone to the movies a lot over the past several years. Not like I'd like to, anyway. And that's one of the reasons I've enjoyed the TiVo/Netflix streaming thing they do.

I enjoy TCM's presentations with Robert Osborne or Ben Mankiewicz, with all the trivia and anecdotes about the films they show. Good stuff.

A while back, the American Film Institute came out with a "100 years, 100 movies" listing of the "best" movies of the first 100 years of films. I'd seen many of them, but many I hadn't.

They later came out with an updated listing. Then, they added a listing they called "10 Top 10" -- their picks for the top 10 movies in 10 categories (Animation, Romantic comedy, Westerns, Sports, Mystery, Fantasy, Science fiction, Gangster, Courtroom dramas, Epics).

Of course, the Academy Awards have their own picks for the best pictures each year.

That's 13 lists (Top 100, Top 100 updated, 10 Top 10, Best Pictures winners). I decided to watch them all.

So, I compiled of listing of all the movies that made those lists. With many films on more than one list, that totaled 221 films.

Over the years, I've seen many of them anyway. But, now I've decided to make an effort to watch them all. And, as of now, I've seen 135. That leaves 86 more to go.

Not all of the movies are easy to find. "Wings," for instance, will be hard to find. As will "Intolerance" and "The Birth of a Nation," unless I want to shell out some bucks.

Some of the movies on the big list, I saw when they came out, and hated. "Reds" and "Apocalypse Now," for instance. Others, I finally watched because they were on the list, and hated. "A Clockwork Orange" is one.

Others, though, I've really enjoyed. Either when they came out, or watching them later. "Casablanca" is one I never saw until I was in Kuwait. I love that film. "The General" is another film from before my time, but I think it's one of the best ever made.

Not sure how long it'll take me to watch the remaining 86 films on the list. But I'm going to give it an honest try.

If you're interested, here are the films on the list that I've seen:
  • 12 Angry Men
  • 2001: A Space Odyssey
  • A Clockwork Orange
  • A Few Good Men
  • A Man for All Seasons
  • A Night at the Opera
  • A Place in the Sun
  • A Streetcar Named Desire
  • Aladdin
  • Alien
  • All About Eve
  • All Quiet on the Western Front
  • All the President's Men
  • American Beauty
  • American Graffiti
  • An American in Paris
  • Anatomy of a Murder
  • Annie Hall
  • Apocalypse Now
  • Back to the Future
  • Bambi
  • Beauty and the Beast
  • Ben-Hur
  • Big
  • Blade Runner
  • Blue Velvet
  • Bonnie and Clyde
  • Braveheart
  • Bringing Up Baby
  • Bull Durham
  • Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
  • Caddyshack
  • Casablanca
  • Cat Ballou
  • Chariots of Fire
  • Cinderella
  • Citizen Kane
  • Close Encounters of the Third Kind
  • Dial M for Murder
  • Double Indemnity
  • Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
  • Driving Miss Daisy
  • Duck Soup
  • E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial
  • Easy Rider
  • Finding Nemo
  • Forrest Gump
  • Frankenstein
  • Gigi
  • Gone with the Wind
  • Goodfellas
  • Groundhog Day
  • Harvey
  • High Noon
  • In Cold Blood
  • Invasion of the Body Snatchers
  • It Happened One Night
  • It's a Wonderful Life
  • Jaws
  • King Kong
  • Kramer vs. Kramer
  • Lawrence of Arabia
  • Little Caesar
  • Marty
  • MASH
  • Miracle on 34th Street
  • Moonstruck
  • My Fair Lady
  • National Velvet
  • Network
  • North by Northwest
  • Oliver!
  • On the Waterfront
  • Patton
  • Pinocchio
  • Psycho
  • Pulp Fiction
  • Raging Bull
  • Raiders of the Lost Ark
  • Rain Man
  • Rear Window
  • Rebecca
  • Red River
  • Reds
  • Rocky
  • Roman Holiday
  • Shrek
  • Singin' in the Rain
  • Sleepless in Seattle
  • Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
  • Some Like It Hot
  • Stagecoach
  • Star Wars
  • Sunset Boulevard
  • Terminator 2: Judgment Day
  • The African Queen
  • The Apartment
  • The Bridge on the River Kwai
  • The Day the Earth Stood Still
  • The French Connection
  • The General
  • The Godfather
  • The Godfather Part II
  • The Graduate
  • The Grapes of Wrath
  • The Great Ziegfeld
  • The Hustler
  • The Jazz Singer
  • The Last Picture Show
  • The Lion King
  • The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
  • The Maltese Falcon
  • The Manchurian Candidate
  • The Public Enemy
  • The Searchers
  • The Shawshank Redemption
  • The Silence of the Lambs
  • The Sixth Sense
  • The Sound of Music
  • The Sting
  • The Ten Commandments
  • The Treasure of the Sierra Madre
  • The Usual Suspects
  • The Verdict
  • The Wizard of Oz
  • Titanic
  • Tootsie
  • Toy Story
  • Unforgiven
  • Vertigo
  • West Side Story
  • White Heat
  • Witness for the Prosecution
  • Yankee Doodle Dandy
  • You Can't Take It with You
Here are the ones on the "to-do" list:
  • A Beautiful Mind
  • A Cry in the Dark
  • Adam's Rib
  • All the King's Men
  • Amadeus
  • Around the World in 80 Days
  • Breaking Away
  • Cabaret
  • Cavalcade
  • Chicago
  • Chinatown
  • Cimarron
  • City Lights
  • Crash
  • Dances with Wolves
  • Do the Right Thing
  • Doctor Zhivago
  • Fantasia
  • Fargo
  • Field of Dreams
  • From Here to Eternity
  • Gandhi
  • Gentleman's Agreement
  • Giant
  • Gladiator
  • Going My Way
  • Grand Hotel
  • Guess Who's Coming to Dinner
  • Hamlet
  • Harold and Maude
  • Hoosiers
  • How Green Was My Valley
  • In the Heat of the Night
  • Intolerance
  • Jerry Maguire
  • Judgment at Nuremberg
  • Laura
  • McCabe & Mrs. Miller
  • Midnight Cowboy
  • Million Dollar Baby
  • Modern Times
  • Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
  • Mrs. Miniver
  • Mutiny on the Bounty
  • Nashville
  • No Country for Old Men
  • One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
  • Ordinary People
  • Out of Africa
  • Platoon
  • Rebel Without a Cause
  • Saving Private Ryan
  • Scarface
  • Schindler's List
  • Shakespeare in Love
  • Shane
  • Sophie's Choice
  • Spartacus
  • Sullivan's Travels
  • Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans
  • Swing Time
  • Taxi Driver
  • Terms of Endearment
  • The Best Years of Our Lives
  • The Birth of a Nation
  • The Broadway Melody
  • The Deer Hunter
  • The Departed
  • The English Patient
  • The Gold Rush
  • The Greatest Show on Earth
  • The Last Emperor
  • The Life of Emile Zola
  • The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
  • The Lost Weekend
  • The Philadelphia Story
  • The Pride of the Yankees
  • The Thief of Bagdad
  • The Third Man
  • The Wild Bunch
  • To Kill a Mockingbird
  • Tom Jones
  • When Harry Met Sally...
  • Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
  • Wings
  • Wuthering Heights
Update: Updated, corrected listings are here.

UPDATED: I have now seen them all.


Got a Blackberry recently.

Yes, I like it. A lot.

But, it got may attention about something.

I set it up to get my email. I mean, that's one of the things that Blackberrys are for, right? So, I set it up to get email from three email boxes. One for stuff related to the blog (where all blog stuff forwards anyway), one for personal (that is, not work or blog; again, several email accounts already forward to that), and one for the Blackberry itself.

The problem? It seems I'm subscribed to all kinds of things. ESPN, MLB alerts, FoxNews, blog mailing lists, JCPenney, Sears ... heck, all kind of things.

Previously, when I got home at night -- or broke out the MacBook at lunch where wifi is available (Subway, BK, the mall, etc) -- I'd get all my emails. And, getting all those mailing lists at that time is fine. Depending on what time it is, how busy things are, or how tired I am, I'll read them or ignore them. I mean, really, that's how we all treat email subscriptions.

However, they don't all arrive at 7:00 at night, when I check my email. They arrive all throughout the day.

And, now that I have my Blackberry set up to get my email, I get those emails when they arrive. All throughout the day.

That's a problem.

Because, well, picture this:

I'm on the phone with someone in, say, Europe (yes, the Evil Corporation for which I work does business all across the globe). Suddenly, the Blackberry start buzzing. I reach down, pop up the clasp, lift the Blackberry out of the case, look at the screen. There it is. A message indicator.

I open the message, because, heck, it could be important.

There it is: Scott Ott has posted a new blog entry!

Then, it buzzes again. And I discover that JCPenney has all sheets and pillowcases 10% off.

Another buzz. Michael Steele wants money. (How did he get my address? From John McCain or Fred Thompson, I bet!)

Now, I'm not picking on these folks. I'm the one who subscribed. So, I'm getting exactly what I asked for.

However, the Blackberry has thrown a new wrinkle into it: I get my emails when they're sent. Not just when I check them at lunch or after supper.

So, I've come up with a solution.

I still want those subscriptions. Heck, Sears might have a sale I want to know about.

So, I've set up two new email addresses. One for subscriptions for the blog, and one for subscriptions for personal (non-work and non-blog). The Blackberry won't check those addresses. I will. At lunch. Or after supper.

What this means is, if I've subscribed to something of yours, and I suddenly cancel, I'm probably not really canceling. Instead, I'm stopping delivery to that address, and setting it up to another address.

I don't know why I didn't think of this before.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Hand tools

Like a lot of people, I notice things that interest me. And often miss things that don't.

Not that I'm oblivious to things. Not always, anyway. But, if some new interest arrives in my life, I notice that interest in others.

After we bought our Chevy Impala last December, I've noticed lots of Impalas on the road. Prior to that, I didn't notice all the Impalas. But I noticed a lot of Luminas. Of course, that was while we had the Lumina.

Recently, I got a new toy: a Blackberry.

It's my first real smartphone. I've had a PDA, and I've had cell phones. But this is the first smartphone I've had.

And, in the two short days I've had the Blackberry, I've noticed how many others have them.

And just how important they are.

I found that out in the men's room today.

While I'd prefer to not use a public restroom, I do find the need, on occasion. Ballgame, work, mall, restaurant... there are times that I need to use a public restroom.

Today, I went into a men's room, and there, standing at a urinal, was a man with a Blackberry in one hand. I didn't look to see what was in the other hand, but I do assume it was what he should have in his hand.

As much as I'm enjoying the Blackberry, I really don't think that anyone would ever find me standing at a urinal with the Blackberry in my hand.

I like my Blackberry.

But, it's not my favorite tool.

Monday, February 9, 2009

The never-ending Obamagasm

During this recent presidential election ... and since ... many of us on the Right have concluded that the mainstream media (MSM) get .. the best word to describe it is "orgasmic" ... over Barack Obama.

An Obamagasm, if you will. One of the most famous examples is the tingly feeling that Chris Matthews gets in his leg by listening to Obama.

Only, unlike an orgasm, this Obamagasm never seems to end.

Then, I read this article on Fox News. It says there are some that suffer from something called Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder (PGAD). A "never-ending orgasm," to quote the title of the article.

To date, there is no explanation for the disorder. While researchers are still trying to figure out what causes PGAD, in "Textbook on Female Sexual Dysfunction," Dr. Irwin Goldstein, the head of the Sexual Health Program at Alvarado Hospital in San Diego, summarized that possible reasons may include one or more of the following:

... Neurological changes like brain anomaly, post-injury or pelvic nerve hypersensitivity;

... Vascular changes, like pelvic congestion;

... Pressure against genital structures;

... Medications, such as the start or discontinuation of anti-depressants;

... Psychological issues.

(Dr. Sandra) Leiblum has added intense masturbation or partner stimulation, emotional stress, anxiety and starting or stopping a hormone regimen as possible causes.

When I read that, it all made sense. The MSM suffer from Persistent Obama Arousal Disorder ... or POAD.

And, for nearly the same reasons:

  • "Brain anomaly" -- in other words, they aren't right in the head.

  • "Pelvic congestion" -- and you can't get more congested than having one's head up one's ass.

  • "Pressure against genital structures" -- which a head up the ass will certainly cause.

  • "Medications" -- and I'll readily believe that many in the MSM are on drugs.

  • "Psychological issues" -- to which I can add nothing; it says it all.

So, let us on the Right have compassion for those in the MSM for getting all orgasmic over Barack Obama.

They're sick.

But, I'm telling you nothing new.

Helicopters are racist

The President bumped his head.

Yes, Barack Obama bumped his head as he entered Marine One.

It's news, because it was news when President Gerald Ford bumped his head.

But Gerald Ford bumped his head because he was a doofus.

But, The One can't be a doofus. Therefore, helicopters are racist.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

We shall not speak of this again

Going grocery shopping isn't fun. The Wife and I sometimes go together. But not often.

Not that we don't enjoy going or doing things together. No, that's not it.

It's that we're completely different kind of shoppers.

And not that I think my way of shopping is better than her way of shopping. But, I shop my way. It's how I am.

Sometimes, I do a very good job of shopping.

Then, sometimes, I do really stupid things.

Like yesterday.

We went to Publix. And she didn't like it. Oh, she was driving, and in no way whatsoever insisted that we go to Publix. We were near there, after having eaten at the Cracker Barrel. And, she started heading to the big Wal-mart out at Hooterville (it's actually called "Columbus Park Crossing," but since the first thing built during the recent building boom in that area was a Hooters, we gave it that name). However, she decided to just pull into the Publix instead.

We started shopping, found, once again, that our shopping styles don't mesh, and started getting things we thought we wanted. Sort of shopping separately, yet sharing a shopping cart.

I will buy 2-liter drinks; she'll buy the 12-pack of 12-ounce cans. I picked up a 2-liter of Publix cola. And, hanging nearby, was some dispenser thingy. You removed the cap off the 2-liter, put this thingy in it's place, and you didn't have to open the 2-liter bottle again. No more "swoosh" as the air escapes. It'd keep the drink from going flat as soon.

At least, that's what it said. Sounded good to me. So, into the shopping cart it went.

Notice what I didn't say. I said what all I read on the label. But I said nothing about the price. Because I didn't read the price.

The Wife did. After we got home.

"You paid $6.99 for that coke nozzle?!?"

I look at her. "What?"

"$6.99?! You paid $6.99 for that nozzle?"

I think quickly. No, I don't remember what it cost. Maybe I didn't look at the price. Check that; I'm sure I didn't look at the price.

"I don't know."

"That what it says here!"

"Well, I swiped my card. But I finished loading the cart. You signed the receipt. So, you paid for it."

She was not amused.

Anyway, later, I opened the 2-liter bottle, followed the instructions, and put the nozzle on the bottle.

Everything works just great.

Except that it leaks. Both air and cola.

"So, how'd that work out for ya?" she asked.

"You're being mean to me," I told her.

She laughed.

And every time I got more drink out of the 2-liter, I could feel her stare. I'd turn around and she'd be looking at me. And laughing.

I'd had enough. "We shall not speak of this again!"

And we haven't.

But she has. She has the most wonderful laugh.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

What happens in the Wells Fargo boardroom...

Any other business?

Mr. Chairman, I have one final item.

The chair recognizes Howard Atkins.

Dick, it's no secret that we're hurting...

You can say that again.

Damn, Bob, you're someone to talk.

As I was saying, we're hurting. A year ago, our stock was over $33 a share. And, less than 5 months ago, we were nearly $40 a share. We're barely 1/3 of that today.

Well, you're Chief Financial Officer, Howard. What are you suggesting?

Lord of the Flies

Beelzebub (n): Beelzebub, prince of devils, from Latin, from Greek Beelzeboub, from Hebrew Baʽal zĕbhūbh, a Philistine god, literally, lord of flies

If you needed more proof that Bill Gates is the Devil, then you now have it.

As a Mac user, I can't say that I'm surprised.

On the other hand, Steve Jobs is the Anti-Christ, so either way, we're all screwed.