Saturday, January 30, 2010

Osama, Obama ... and other news

Good news for Al Gore: He's convinced Bin Laden to join his cause.

With his Global Warming stance, Bin Laden is now odds-on favorite for the 2010 Nobel Peace Prize.

BREAKING: Bin Laden announces support for Obamacare.

Enough about Osama. But, about that other dude that's trying to destroy America: I think Obama would be more popular if he had a laugh track.

Oh, on an unrelated note: Did Apple have to pay royalties to Carrot Top for the design of the iPad? I know I saw one in his act in Vegas.

Let's see what's on the schedule for today... Oh, yes, my niece is in a pageant. She's competing in the Miss Wayne County pageant tonight. So, today will be a day of traveling, dealing with relatives I miss, as well as dealing with relatives I don't miss.

Friday, January 29, 2010

State of the State of the Union ... and other news

Obama gave a speech the other night. Did anyone else know about this? In case you missed it, here are come thoughts on it...

What Obama's been doing lately has helped conservatives. Good news: Obama doesn't quit. He's gonna keep making conservatives look good. Me like.

Obama said "I take my share of the blame for not explaining it more clearly to the American people." Which is his way of saying "It's my fault you're too stupid to understand." Jeri Thompson agreed.

What I heard Obama say: We need more cowbell!

Someone else made the news. Associate Justice Samuel Alito was seen saying "not true" to Obama's criticism of a recent Court ruling. Why did Alito say that? He's too polite to say "Who voted for this ass clown?"

Jake Tapper suggests that the Court might skips next year's State of the Union.

About the State of the Union speech, and the GOP response, read this by Kathleen McKinley.

Oh, as for Chris Mathews "forgot he was black" comment, I agree with Doug Mataconis: The only time I watch MSNBC anymore is when somebody sends me a YouTube of Chris Matthews latest insanity.

One final thought: Obama's State of the Union speech killed J.D. Salinger.

Did you hear? Ford -- the car company that turned down bailout money -- made a profit in 2009.

One last dig at Obama: Even a liberal like Feinstein says don't try KSM in NYC.

You use the Twitter? No. Maybe if you followed me, you'd change you mind. Or not.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

iPad, SOTU ... and other four-letter words in the news

Wasn't it 70 degrees the other day? Wednesday morning, there was ice on the windshield. It's a right-wing conspiracy to make Al Gore look stupid! And it's working.

I believe this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal before this decade is out of sitting on its ass. Another way of putting it: rocket ship bad, choo-choo good.

The State of the Union speech. TiVo's raison d'ĂȘtre.

Heading up to the State of the Union, everybody was telling Obama what to do to save his presidency. Why?

Chris Mathews forgot Obama was Black. But did anybody forget Chris Mathews was an idiot?

I thought Rep. Joe Wilson (R-SC) should give the response to SOTU: "You lie!" McDonnell's actual response was longer. And nicer. But still pretty good.

The House held hearings on the attempted terrorist attack on Christmas day on Flight 253 (via Rep. Mike Rogers, R-AL). Napolitano was a no-show.

Did you hear? Obama's gone off the Soros plantation.

The iPad. I don't know what it is, but I'm told I want one. All I want to know about the new Apple iPad: Will it run Google Wave?

Shirley: Hey, Haiti. Use a condom. ESPN: Hey, Shirley. You're fired.

Naked or drunk. In Cobb County, GA, you can choose only one.

Memory loss is the third sign of aging. I don't recall what the first two signs are.

If you're not following me on the Twitter, you're probably wise. Still, I'm at

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Liberals are revolting ... and other news

Tuesday, I had a doctor's appointment. Been fighting a cold ... or flu ... or something ... for over a week. They wanted to do some tests. So, I stayed up all night studying for that blood test. I even sparkle! After a trip to the doctor, I always reward myself with a Double Whopper with Cheese. I please easily.

I can never remember what floor I park on. So I wrote it down. Now, if I only remembered where I put the note. Found the car on the third floor I checked. And it was the second floor of the garage. Don't ask.

Things aren't going as expected for some. In the GOP side of the upcoming Florida Senate race, a new poll shows that Marco Rubio leads Charlie Crist, 47-44, with a 3.8 margin of error. Which means the lead could be as much as 50.8-40.2

One news report said liberals are revolting. I'd have said "disgusting," but "revolting" works.

For the second time in 7 years, a statue of someone named "Hussein" is to be torn down.

Trojans vs Cocks. An epic battle. Naturally, I'm coming down on the side of the Cocks. I know that the Trojans think they have it covered, but I believe the Cocks will stand firm. After all, the Cocks have been around longer than the Trojans.

When James O'Keefe ran his video stings on ACORN, the mainstream media didn't cover it. Now that O'Keefe has been arrested, how will the MSM explain who James O'Keefe is, without telling on ACORN? My guess is the MSM will describe O'Keefe as a "right-wing operative" and leave it as that. Anyway, what does Daniel Ellsberg think of James O'Keefe's arrest? No, really. Has anybody asked?

I'm wondering if O'Keefe was trying to find a Mary Landrieau-John Edwards sex tape? And, for that mental image, you're welcome. The only thing I haven't heard suggested is if O'Keefe's arrest was part of a sting by ACORN.

A child molester killed in prison. The killer? Already serving life for murder. I guess the threat of another life sentence didn't bother him.

Why I prefer Kirk to Picard. (tip: Andy Levy, Duncan Jones)

Are those 44 lizards in your pants, or are you just really happy to see me?

Avatar is now the top movie of all time. Or is it? Level the playing field, and Avatar is the number 26 movie. Number one? One guess.

Delta lost $1.2 billion in 2009. And a sh*tload of luggage. They lost mine once. No, twice. But, it was twice on the same trip. Really.

Kill Bambi, write a letter

You know, one of these days, I'm going to watch "American Idol." ... Nah.

Oh, did you hear? ABBAWORLD theme park opens in London. I admit, when ABBA comes on the radio, I don't change the station. And you don't either. Admit it.

By the way, are you following me on the Twitter? No? Probably wise. But, if you change your mind, here's the link:

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Sparrows is sluts ... and other news

According to the Mirror, "anti-terror officials said the past week had seen an 'unusually high' number of people on their no-fly list trying to board US-bound planes." This must be Bush's fault.

Chemical Ali was hanged in Iraq for genocide. Sam Valley put it best: "His bad luck that Eric Holder wasn't in charge when he was captured."

Maybe we should set aside a Twitter for Congress. All bills must be 140 characters or less.

I find it amazing that H1N1 is a threat to the US, but not to Haiti.

A couple of local stories: SOA Watch trespassers get 6 month sentences, the max. If they'd get 13-month sentences, they would only have to sentence them every other year.

The other local story: There was a fire on Sesame Street. No, not that one. There's one in Columbus. Nobody was hurt, thankfully. And, yes, it's tasteless to make jokes about a fire. But, I've never been accused of having good taste.

Did you hear? There are reports of a John Edwards sex tape. Really. How long before the John Edwards Sex Tape virus starts making the rounds? And what kind of perv would open it?

MSNBC reports home sales plunge in December. Ah, the Obama recovery.

Obama tells ABC's Diane Sawyer that he would "rather be a really good one-term president." Personaly, I'd rather him have been an awesome no-term president. And, before all is said and done, so will you.

Fox News' Major Garrett reports that Obama saluted Magic Johnson and his "infectious enthusiasm" during East Room event. You know, if Saturday Night Live hired Obama's writers, they'd be funny. But not on purpose.

Obama has disproved The Peter Principle. He has already risen several levels beyond his level of incompetence.

Sparrows is sluts! (Tip: Andy Levy)

The last of the Cartwrights dies. Pernell Roberts was from Waycross, Georgia. That's not all that far from where I grew up. Roberts was 81.

Some group called the "Women's Media Center" (that's Latin for "Crazy-ass Bitches") demands CBS cancel ad featuring Tim Tebow and his mom ... because it could convey a pro-life message. Yes, there's nothing quite as divisive as love. Or the birth of a child.

If you are bored, and want to be even more bored, then follow me on The Twitter:

Monday, January 25, 2010

Exclusive interview with Ellie Light

There have been news reports recently of letters to the editor in many newspapers all across the nation ... signed by Ellie Light.

All claimed to be local, meaning that either Ellie Light had homes in over a dozen states, or there are lots of people named Ellie Light, and they all think -- and write -- exactly alike.

"Astroturfing" was the suspicion. "Sock puppets" was the charge.

As it turns out, we have located Ellie Light. And there are many Ellie Lights. Here's a transcript of our exclusive interview:

Thank you, Ellie, for taking the time to talk with us.

It's my pleasure.

There have been charges that you are actually a front for members of the Obama administration. What do you say to that?

That's ridiculous! I am a red-blooded American male, uh, woman, who loves his country and supports the greatest, smartest, bestest person ever elected to the presidency, Barack J. Obama.

You mean Barack Hussein Obama?


Um, hmmm, ah. Well, Ellie, how do you explain that you've signed letters claiming to live in different cities across America?

I have no idea what you're talking about. I live in Cleveland, and have always lived in Cleveland. I don't know anything about anyone named Ellie Light in Philadelphia.

I didn't say anything about Philadelphia.

Yes you did. But I didn't write that.

Then who did?

I did.

Who are you?

I'm Ellie Light. I live in Philadelphia. Have my whole life. And I support Barack Obama. He's so smart, sexy, and manly -- and he's such a great president!

So, there are two of you named Ellie Light?

More than two.

Who are you?

I'm Ellie Light. I live in Baltimore.

Just how many of you are there?

How many do you need?

Blame Bush and other news stories

Fox News reports that the GOP wants Obama to compromise. They have Obamacare on the ropes, and want to stop all this fighting? Have these jackasses learned nothing? We really don't need to compromise on anything. Think about it: If Congress never passes another law or raised another tax, would it be such a bad thing?

I don't watch a lot of pro football anymore. It's all offense. Remember when football teams played defense? Those were the days. Sunday's NFC championship was the first time I've cheered for Minnesota since Fran Tarkenton was their quarterback. And paid off just as well.

The Daily Telegraph reports that UBL may have signaled an attack?

Speaking of attacks by those that hate America, James Carville has a new strategy for Democrats: Blame Bush!

Somebody wants to dig up Da Vinci to see if he's actually the Mona Lisa. No, it's not a fake news story by the Onion. It's real.

Headline of the day: Dick charged with sexual abuse.

Politico reports that three different Obama spokesmen appeared on three different news shows on Sunday, and gave three different estimates on jobs. Seems Obama's spokement can't get their lies straight.

Nobody told Wal-mart. They announced they're going to cut 11,200 jobs.

Who knew the Scorpions were still together? Oh, right. They're not. Now.

Twitter said Johnny Depp was dead. Johnny Depp says he's not. Who ya gonna believe?

Microsoft sues TiVo. Some legal thing. They mess with my TiVo, and there'll be hell to pay.

The odd news story of the day: Man, 2 horses injured in a stage coach accident.

Finally, Brad & Angelina split rumors not true, say sources. I can sleep soundly now!

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Brangelina, Bender, Boobs

"Ellie Light" writes letters to the editor all over the country ... and claims to be a local resident each time. Oh, I believe her. It explains how Obama voters can vote in several states.

When news reports came out that Jean Simmons had died, I wonder how many were confused, thinking it was Gene Simmons. And I'm talking news reporters who are supposed to know better. Anyway, Jean Simmons was a famous actress once, and a good actress always.

Now, in the UK, there's a call for euthanasia booths (tip: Allahpundit). Pardon, but isn't that how Fry met Bender?

Oh, Mercy Mercy Me (The Economy): The Dow suffers worst week since ... earlier in the Obama administration

Gay Talese, the "Father of New Journalism" is coming to Columbus. So, how's that "New Journalism" working out? I'd suggest that this is now a stop on the "New Journalism" farewell tour.

Someone found a picture of a woman with the biggest boobs on the planet! (via GregWHoward > TheBlogshevik)

I wonder if the Brangelina split has to do with Angelina Jolie becoming more conservative? Remember, she is Jon Voigt's daughter.

Evil Obama. Heh.

Obama can't govern. But he can campaign.

Europe welcomes Obama bank plan. But they won't imitate it. I'm sure it's a wonderful plan. So wonderful, others won't get near it. Of course, a weaker US means a stronger everybody else.

Texting meets telephone pole. You'd think people would learn.

Finally, for those that missed it, Laurie Bailey's husband died. Prayers.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

The world looks like the villains' lair on Batman

Had a doctor's appointment yesterday. Been fighting a really bad cold -- or something -- for nearly a week. While sitting in the doctor's waiting room, because of the cough, I had to wear a mask. It fogged my glasses. Which meant I could then add blindness to my symptoms.

The doctor gave me some drugs, and warned me that they would affect me. They did. For a little while, the whole world was a cellophane bag. And smelled -- I don't know -- purple? Didn't put me out at first. After a little bit, everything looked like a scene from the villains' lair on the old Batman show. Or I was tilting. One or the other. Then, it put me out for a couple of hours. One of the drugs, though, will be done this weekend. The other, I'll have to take for a couple of more days.

In the real world -- at least, what I think is real, since these drugs make it confusing -- the Secretary of State says "we will not back down" regarding Iran's nuclear program. Fred Thompson said it best: Wouldn't we have to stand up to Iran before we could refuse to back down?

Did you read this at Fox: Hugo Chavez Mouthpiece Says U.S. Hit Haiti With 'Earthquake Weapon'? (tip: stix1972) At least he didn't say anything crazy, like fire can melt steel. I wonder how long before those Hollywood nutcases start spouting the same thing as their hero Hugo?

John Stewart called out Keith Olbermann (hat tip Ed Morrissey at Hot Air)
The Daily Show With Jon Stewart
Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Special Comment - Keith Olbermann's Name-Calling

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Political Humor
Health Care Crisis
[Direct link]

Oh, that whole Global Warming™ evidence that NASA has? Doesn't exist. (tip: Dr. Melissa Clouthier)

Charles Krauthammer sums it up: "The antipathy to George W. Bush is so enduring and powerful that ... it just elected a Republican senator in Massachusetts? Why, the man is omnipotent."

In Lorton, Virginia, a meteorite hit a doctor's office. (tip: Mad Conservative). You know, if God threw a rock at my doctor, I'd get a new doctor.

Lots of folks on them Internets and on the Twitter have been criticizing Sarah Palin for campaigning for Sen. John McCain. Would they be happier if she was disloyal to the man who put her on the national stage?

According to Rasmussen, 45% of Americans approve of Obama's job performance. That means that 45% of Americans still have their heads up their butts.

Another poll? Sure. According to Bloomberg, Obama is seen as anti-business by 77% of U.S. investors. To which I say, "Well, duh!"

One more poll? Sure. Democrat-sponsored Public Policy Polling has former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee beats Obama, 45% - 44% (tip KOSMOSNET).

More numbers? Sure. Unemployment in Alabama has hit 11%. Les Phillip, who's running for Congress in Alabama's 5th district (not my district; I already have a good Congressman), says "Congress needs to cut Federal Taxes on our businesses so we can create jobs."

In a completely unrelated matter, the Facebook finally quit offering me ads featuring Obama. Now, it's Al Gore ads. Facebook hates me!

Early reports indicated that there were not enough votes to reconfirm Bernanke. Some were worried that if Bernanke wasn't reconfirmed, Obama might nominate someone worse. So what? Don't confirm him, either.

Sky News reports Holiday Inn is launching a "Human Bed Warming" in the UK. Sounds like a great job for fat people. Not sweaty fat people, though.

Fox News has a story that ought to scare adulterers: Imagine if your former, longtime mistress took out billboards with pics and quotes.

One final thought: Recent elections show that Democrats have dropped to number two. Why doesn't NBC cancel them? Or at least replace them with Leno?

Friday, January 22, 2010

Thoughts for 2010-01-22

Fox News reports that some Muslims upset over Bible inscriptions on US rifles. According to the report, the inscriptions are on the rifle sights. A CAIR mouthpiece says it "sends the false message to Muslims worldwide that we are at war with Islam." This is one of those one-way wars: Islam is at war with us, but we're not at war with them. Having said that, I do agree that the inscriptions shouldn't be on the rigle sights. They should put the inscriptions on the bullets instead.

It seems the Democrats have learned nothing from recent election results. Good. I like where this is going.

I never watched The Jay Leno Show, nor The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien. Until the last couple of weeks. And that's just to see the jokes at NBC's expense. However, I'm not the only one. Conan's ratings are nearly three times Letterman's. What does this mean? It's proof that they should have fired Conan months ago.

The other day, I joked that I wanted Obama to campaign for Harry Reid in Nevada. And that the GOP would pay the costs. Well, whaddayaknow! Roll Call reports that Obama Will Travel to Nevada for Reid Next Month. To which I say, "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Philip Klein at The American Spectator notes: Obama Realizes He Can't Use Jedi Mind Tricks to Produce Middle East Peace.

Warner Todd Huston has a report of your tax dollars being used to attack your country.

If anyone doesn't understand why I think Ron Paul is nuts -- as are his supporters -- you ought to read this: He says the CIA has stages a coup and is running everything. [Tip: Purple Avenger at Ace of Spades HQ]

In the ATL, they want to play Whiteyball!

Ignoring the fact that government involvement started this whole financial mess -- remember that banks were pressured to make risky loans -- Obama has decided to follow up bad government involvement with more bad government involvement. Obama is treating George Bailey like he's Henry Potter. Who gets hurt? Mr. Martini.

Did you hear? Air America is off the air. I didn't know it was ever on the air.

From the Twitter: Depressed over not working, another #LOST cast member gets a DUI.

From: andylevy > CarltonCuse > colbyP89

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Lookin' like a fool...

While I'm not a big fan of the AJC's Mike Luckovich, every so often, he catches my eye. Here's today's cartoon.

[Direct link]

Thoughts for 2010-01-21

  • How will Obama be able to keep throwing people under the bus if the wheels keep falling of? #
  • Charlie Daniels suffers mild stroke in Colorado #
  • There was a 6.1 aftershock in Haiti? Pat Robertson must have discovered an addendum to that pact with the devil. #
  • A company in Columbus lays off 400 of 7,600 workforce. In Obamamath, is that 7,200 jobs "saved or created"? #

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Hitler reacts to the Hitler parodies

Last year, one of the big Internet sensations was the slew of Hitler parodies.

The clips were from a scene in the 2004 film Downfall. Whether or not the clips are in good taste are not being debated here. They are in poor taste. They are also funny. Most of them, anyway.

Recently, on the Twitter, someone asked when there was going to be a Hitler parody where Hitler rants about the Hitler parodies.

Turns out it's been done. More than once. NSFW.

[Direct YouTube link]

Thoughts for 2010-01-20

  • Mary Anne Marsh on O'Reilley looks like she just lost to Alabama in the SEC championship game. #
  • Does the band at the Coakley campaign have the sheet music for "Nearer My God To Thee?" #
  • Who was the last GOP US Senator from Massachusetts? Edward Brooke, the first elected Black US Senator, served 2 terms, lost to Paul Tsongas #
  • I'm ready to start calling Brown a RINO, but can't until he's sworn in. #
  • How many times do I have to say it? It's not Kennedy's seat. It's Paul Kirk's seat! #
  • Howard Dean blamed Bush? Shouldn't that be "Howard Dean credits Bush?" #
  • BREAKING: NBC hires Coakley's campaign manager to host The Tonight Show #
  • BREAKING: Michael Steele announces GOP will pay all expenses if Obama will campaign for Democrats in all 50 states this November #
  • Did Chris Matthews just say it's idiotic to like people who are likable? #
  • Good news for Ted Kennedy: A cold front just moved in, dropping temperatures below freezing. #
  • Who is losing more sleep tonight? Democrats? Or Taliban? #
  • Before tonight, Democrats controlled the White House, the House of Representatives, and the Senate. But now... #
  • NBC cancels Leno's show, lets Conan leave, but keeps Olbermann around? #
  • Why are Democrats blaming Bush? I thought Palin was the new antichrist. #
  • Will Abbarolling Democrats become the rage this election year? #
  • Rush Limbaugh to Democrats: Stay the course #
  • Who is this "Maddow" dude on MSNBC? #
  • Man died after watching Avatar Why I'll live forever #
  • Will Obama campaign for Harry Reid? Oh, please, please, please, please, please! #
  • Bobsledding isn't what it's cracked up to be #
  • Oh, so THAT'S why they call it the Golden Globes #
  • Atlanta is teh ghey #
  • SECDEF says terrorist groups help each other Also, water is wet #

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Thoughts for 2010-01-16

  • Pat Robertson vs Danny Glover: We're all getting too old for this sh*t. #
  • So, who is to blame for the Haiti earthquake? God or Gaia? #
  • I'm thinking if I leaned way to the left, I'd automatically become an expert on things I know nothing about. #
  • I hope the weather's clear next week. I'd hate for all those voters the Dems are busing into MA to vote don't get stranded in snow. #
  • #
  • There have been two natural disasters in the news this week: Pat Robertson and Danny Glover #
  • Initial reports said up to 500,000 dead in Haiti. Estimates now are 50-100,000. Obama created or saved 400,000 lives! #
  • Scott Brown to Obama: Don't come to Massachusetts. Br'er Rabbit to Br'er Fox: Don't throw me in the Briar Patch. #
  • Gays say Twitter is so "Kid Rock" RT @andylevy: BREAKING: Kid Rock says Twitter is gay. #
  • Todd Grantham leaves Dallas for UGA. Do you blame him? And Al Groh gets a job at Tech. #
  • 15 min after St Patrick's School (Phenix City AL) let out, it was on fire. They think all students are safe #
  • WTVM Columbus reports no injuries at end-of-school-day fire at Phenix City AL private school #
  • Wife normally goes grocery shopping alone. Recent crime has her spooked. She's asked me to go along as her bodyguard. #
  • SHE: Go to the store with me as my bodyguard. ME: You want your body guarded? I'm on top of that. SHE: (silence) #
  • Because nothing says "I love you" like "I want to drain all the blood from your body" #
  • Jeff Zucker called the cops on Conan O'Brien ... when they were at Harvard in the 1980s #
  • Barney Frank: "If Scott Brown wins, it'll kill the health bill" Why is Frank campaigning for Brown? #

Friday, January 15, 2010

Fr. Jonathan Morris on Red Eye: Pat Robertson

Fr. Jonathan Morris, appearing on Fox News' Red Eye, answers questions, sometimes serious, sometimes silly. Last night, he took Rev. Pat Robertson to task.

[Direct Fox News video link]

Thoughts for 2010-01-15

  • If Sarah Palin is bad because she's a "polarizing figure," what does that make Barack Obama? #
  • Network and firewall issues rock!! No, wait. That's not right. They suck!! #
  • Interesting that some call the Haiti disaster of "Biblical perportions" and then criticize Pat Robertson's biblical interpretation. #
  • I'm not defending Pat Robertson. It's just interesting to see ways the Old Testament is referenced. #
  • Two ways to help: and #
  • Biden holds closed meeting on openness #
  • Is al Qaeda targeting your fish? #
  • Woman just parked, came into McDonalds, filled baby bottle from fountain dispenser, and left. Must try that some time #
  • I cannot wait until payday! I'll be able to buy some cheese to go with the bologna sandwiches! #JanuarySucks #
  • Maybe Coakley should lobby to release GTMO terrorists in Massachusetts. She sure could use their vote. #
  • After much thought and deliberation... #TeamLeno #
  • I wonder what the girl at Wendy's thinks when ask for a Diet Coke with my order, then ask to add a Frosty? #
  • Tomorrow's Friday, right? Only one more day of this crap. #

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Thoughts for 2010-01-14

  • Sarah Palin yet to weigh in on the whole Leno-Conan thing. Fox News isn't getting its money's worth. #
  • NBC has a plan to air comedies at 10PM. It's video of their programming staff's planning sessions. #
  • RT @donsurber: RE tweets suck #
  • SoCal made a brilliant decision in hiring Lane Kiffin. 4-4 in the SEC = 8-1 in the Pac10. #
  • Will the UN stop criticizing the US long enough to accept our help in Haiti? #tcot #
  • My sources say that Tennessee will paint the field orange if Boise State's Chris Petersen will agree to coach them. #
  • If you were a Martian tree, what kind of tree would you be? #
  • Conan pulled a Tebow #
  • The terrible news from Haiti makes me wish that Leno and Conan were the only news stories happening. #
  • Time changes everything. 15 yrs ago, DDP was Diamond Dallas Page. Today, it's Diet Dr Pepper. #
  • Today's music falls into 2 categories: incomprehensible noise, or iPod commercial #
  • Why not refugees in IL and terrorists in GTMO RT @foxnewspolitics: US Considers Housing Haitian Refugees at Guantanamo #
  • After a day like today, this goes on my answering machine: I'm not taking calls right now. Please leave a message at the dial tone. #
  • Why I bought a Mac: RT @sarahk47: Going to install a NEW install of Windows 7 now. Here's hoping it's not the soul vampire that Vista is. #

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Thoughts for 2010-01-13

  • Sex offender Jim Phillip Hollie is called sex offender Jim Phillip Hollie. Angry sex offender Jim Phillip Hollie sues #
  • We must pass Obamacare or they'll replace Tobey Maguire as Spider-Man!!1!!! #
  • We must pass Obamacare, or Jay Leno will return to 11:35 #
  • If Leno moves to 11:35, and Conan leaves NBC for Fox, my viewing habits will change ... not one bit. #
  • New Walmart slogan: "Now with less poison jewelry" #
  • I keep reading stories that refer to "Lady Gaga" and I don't know what that is. Should I google it? Or is ignorance bliss? #
  • New Walmart Greeter job requirement: punching bag #
  • Thieves steal $1-million from Usher's SUV Now everyone know Usher carries around $1-million #
  • ME: Hey, that's a Quizno's, not a Firehouse. SHE: Yeah. ME: But I drove here to eat at Firehouse. SHE: Bless your heart. #
  • Windshield wiper wearing a rain coat. Must be some serious rain in the forecast. #
  • It's now established that "Negro" is acceptable for Caucasion Democrats to say. Somebody let Robert Byrd know when "Colored" is okay again. #
  • If the Dems are going to give Reid a pass, they should give Blago a pass, too. #
  • Democrat-affiliated Public Policy Polling has GOP's Brown leading in Mass. Senate race #
  • What if Fox expands nightly programming by an hour and puts Conan on at 10:00 PM? #
  • So Conan may give up the Tonight Show? I blame George Bush. #

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Thoughts for 2010-01-12

  • Bill Clinton was wrong. Barack Obama would never have passed background checks for the job of getting Clinton's coffee. #
  • Bird vs lawn mower: my money is on the lawn mower #
  • Gas prices heading up: I blame Obama's friends in the oil industry. #
  • Report: World's first sex robot First? I guess they're not counting the sexy, sexy Al Gore. #
  • Give blood, get a beer #
  • Crazy White Boy #
  • A facelift for Harry Reid? I don't know, but he sure does appear light-skinned and has no noticeable Negro dialect. #
  • Perhaps one day, we'll all be Amish #
  • Health Care Overhaul Bill Is 'Hanging by a Thread' As should most of the bill's supporters #
  • Ft. Stewart soldier jailed for rap song Now, if only everyone else followed the Army's lead... #
  • McGwire used steroids Which means my blog post of 12/10/2004 was correct: #
  • Avatar is racist -- even though the characters didn't have a noticeable Azul dialect #
  • Simon Cowell quits "American Idol." Which means I'll see him on TV as much in 2011 as I have since 2002. Which means not at all. #
  • 104-year-old Strongman Dies After Being Bit by Car #
  • If we don't pass Obamacare, Conan O'Brien will sign with Fox!!1!! #
  • 36% support Obamacare That's the same percentage that believe in UFOs #
  • According to Harry Reid, "Pocky-stahn" is NOT Nego dialect for "Pakistan" #

Monday, January 11, 2010

Cleaning up your language. Sort of.

Too many people use bad language. And I've been guilty of that. And it's wrong. But what does one do about it?

Many people who use bad language do it under extreme circumstances, not as a matter of normal language. Sure, some people use profanity as every other word, it seems. But not everyone is that way. But, sure, extreme circumstances do occur.

There are some common words and phrases that some people will use instead of the ... more colorful metaphors. Think about these that are close in sound to similar vulgar phrases:
  • Oh, heck
  • Darn it!
  • Son of a gun
  • Frikkin'
  • Oh, shoot!
There are other phrases that don't aren't as close to profanity, but can be used in situations where profanity might otherwise be used:
  • Heavens to Betsy!
  • Holy Cow!
  • Jeepers
Can you use these today? Sure. But they are a little lame.

However, we can come up with other phrases that might be useful as alternatives to profanity ... and still express just how strongly you feel about something.

A while back, I noticed that it's common for really bad drivers to have Obama bumper stickers. And when I encounter a really bad driver, I want to call them something horrible. Then, it occurred to me: is there anything worse than being called an Obama voter?

"Obama voter" is about as vulgar as you can get. Try it some time. When an idiot cuts you off in traffic or speeds across three lanes just to come to a complete stop in front of you, call them an "Obama voter." It feels good to relieve that frustration ... and it's quite probably true.

And, "Obama voter" is a term of profanity fits pretty much any situation:

Frankly, my dear, I don't give an Obama vote.

I'm as mad as an Obama voter, and I'm not going to take this anymore!

Take your stinking paws off me, you Obama-voting dirty ape!

Don't you Obama-votin' look at me!

Yippie kay-yay, Obama-voter.

I have had it with these Obama-voting snakes on this Obama-voting plane!

Now I want you to remember that no Obama-voter ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb Obama-voter die for his country!

See? "Obama voter" is an acceptable way of saying a very, very bad thing.

I'm sure there are more ways this or other phrases can be used and fit the situation ... help us clean up our language.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Thoughts for 2010-01-10

  • "Hey, Alabama! You just won the BCS Championship and have this neat trophy! What's next?" "We're going to the Walmart" #
  • Dear Harry Reid: I am "light-skinned" and have "no Negro dialect." Maybe you could say that about me and not get into trouble. #
  • So, what will the press call Harry Reid's scandal? Negro-gate? #
  • Instead of saying "Negro dialect" Harry Reid should have referred to Obama's lack of an "Other N-Word dialect" #
  • If a Democrat says something stupid related to race, it's racial. If a Republican does, it's racist. Just so you know. #
  • Global Warming: Who ya gonna believe? #

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Thoughts for 2010-01-09

  • AP poll: 1) Alabama, 2) Texas, 3) Florida, 4) Boise State, 5) Ohio State #
  • Coaches poll: 1) Alabama, 2) Texas, 3) Florida, 4) Boise State, 5) Ohio State #
  • TSA agents at LAX using drugs #
  • Q: What would Elvis be doing if he were alive today? A: Fighting like hell to get out of that casket. #
  • I love meetings. It's the only time I get to use the Twitter. #
  • It's raining iguanas in south Florida #
  • In the old days, humorists would steal each other's jokes. Today, there's the ReTweet button. #

Friday, January 8, 2010

Thoughts for 2010-01-08

  • Global Warming on the windshield again today. #
  • Will the One Hour that Obama deigns us be Pelosi ordering coffee and sandwiches for everyone? #
  • Hardee's has brought back their roast beef sandwiches, and their onion rings. Yay, Hardee's! #
  • We should start using the Kelvin scale for weather temperature. If the Global Warming people hear it's 280 right now, they'll feel better. #
  • What an ass RT @Drudge_Report: Naked jogger nabbed near White House #
  • Larry Bird Johnson #larryforlady #
  • Larry Godiva #larryforlady #
  • Larry In Red #larryforlady #
  • Larry Macbeth #larryforlady #
  • Luck be a Larry Tonight #larryforlady #
  • Larry Madonna #larryforlady #
  • Larry from Shanghai #larryforlady #
  • Larry in the Lake #larryforlady #
  • That Ain't No Way to Treat a Larry #larryforlady #
  • Stopped by the Mexican restaurant for some genuine nachos. Heading to the house to watch the SEC win another championship. #
  • Yawn. Another BCS title for the SEC. #
  • A national championship would really be a national championship if there was a playoff instead of this lame-ass BCS thingy. #
  • If they had a playoff tournament, tonight's game would have been between ... Alabama and Texas. I wonder who would have won? #

Alabama wins the BCS -- but what if?...

The University of Alabama won the BCS Championship Thursday night, beating the University of Texas, 37-21.

But that's the BCS. Which is BS.

There should be a playoff.

Last month, I offered several posts that suggested a playoff. Like many other people did. My idea is to have all 11 Division 1-A conference champions, plus the top five non-champions (according to the Coaches Poll) in a 16-team tournament. Conference champs would be seeded 1-11, and the "wild card" teams would be 12-16. Details here.

What if they actually had done that? Well, based on how the bowl games turned out, I have an idea. Keep in mind that you might not like what I'm about to write.

I'm figuring that Texas Christian, Cincinnati, and Boise State are pretty even teams. TCU and Boise State played a close Fiesta Bowl. Cincinnati got their clock cleaned by Florida.

I think that Central Michigan, East Carolina, and Troy are pretty even. CMU and Troy went into overtime in the GMAC Bowl. ECU lost to SEC middle-of-the-pack Arkansas.

LSU lost a close one to Penn State. Georgia Tech lost a close game to Iowa. Ohio State beat Oregon. Virginia Tech clobbered SEC middle-of-the-pack Tennessee.

Based on that, here's how I think the tournament would have gone.

First round:

1) Alabama beats 16) Louisiana State
2) Texas beats 15) Virginia Tech
3) Texas Christian loses to 14) Iowa
4) Cincinnati loses to 13) Penn State
5) Boise State loses to 12) Florida
6) Oregon beats 11) Troy
7) Ohio State beats 10) East Carolina
8) Georgia Tech beats 9) Central Michigan


1) Alabama beats 14) Iowa
2) Texas beats 13) Penn State
6) Oregon loses to 12) Florida
7) Ohio State beats 8) Georgia Tech


1) Alabama beats 12) Florida
2) Texas beats 7) Ohio State

Which sets up...

The championship game:

1) Alabama vs 2) Texas

Okay, I get the irony. As much as I bitch, moan, and complain about the BCS, the tournament I support would have resulted in the same game as tonight.

Unless, of course, Alabama had been unable to beat Florida a second time. Or if Ohio State had knocked out McCoy and edged Texas. Or if Tebow had been hurt while playing at Boise State. Or if...

And that's the thing. The "if" factor.

Who knows what would have happened over the course of a 16-team tournament?

I still think it would have resulted in the game we just had: Alabama vs Texas. But you never know. With five undefeated teams going into the bowls, it's not fair to TCU, Cincinnati, or Boise State. Those teams did everything that was asked of them, and were shut out of the championship. No, they wouldn't have won it. But you can't tell their crazy insane fans that.

A tournament would shut them up.

Or prove them right.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Thoughts for 2010-01-07

  • Tsutomu Yamaguchi survived Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombings. He finally died #
  • Authorities Suspect $30M Fla. Lottery Winner Was Killed #
  • So GTMO is a recruiting tool for terrorists? What, "Join the jihad and see Cuba from a jail cell?" #
  • C-SPAN vs Congress solution: air the meetings on MSNBC. They're broadcast, but nobody sees them. It's a win-win! #
  • I'm still in favor of a big conservative blogger get-together in Las Vegas. We could get spray-paint and find Harry Reid's office... #
  • If I order a small Coke at McDonald's, I not only pay less, I don't have to look at one o those giant smurfs on the cup! #
  • There are two kinds of people in this world: those that have worn overalls, and wussies. #
  • Jackasses at the water department decided to flush the lines. Tonight. Water is off. Temp is below freezing. If a line bursts... #
  • CBS: Obama Reneges on Health Care Transparency #
  • Even CNN has the story about Obama's broken promise ... mixed in with a typical GOP trashing #
  • Don't be a Negro #

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Thoughts for 2010-01-06

  • Congratulations to Boise State for their win over TCU in the 1-AA championship game Monday night! #
  • Wore a blue shirt yesterday and Boise State won. Wearing a yellow shirt today for Georgia Tech. Except that Iowa wears yellow, too. Oops! #
  • Gosh, but it's cold! Throw another Global Warming Alarmist on the fire! #
  • U.S. suspends transerring Gitmo prisoners to Yemen #
  • If TCU had won last night, how many sportswriters/bloggers/Twitterers would have used Yosemite Sam's catchprase, "Great Horny Toads!" #
  • Obama wants the same bureaucracy that failed to stop a bomber after his dad told on him, to give you quality medical care #
  • Iowa man spell's out wife's birthday message in manure I sh*t you not! #
  • The new Apple Magic Mouse has arrived! Me like! #
  • Google's Picasa face recognition tried to match my father's face (from daughter's wedding) to Hillary Clinton #
  • Obama: This was a screw up that could have been disastrous. Averted by brave individuals not because the system worked #
  • Lawsuit calls yoga chain a cult Same is true for yogurt #
  • Just in case you weren't already convinced that Ron Paul is nuts #
  • dammitalltohell #GaTech #
  • Men Know When They're Aroused, Women May Not Hint: If you don't know if you are, you are not. #
  • Pogue isn't overwhelmed by the new Google phone thingy #
  • U.S. auto sales grew in December; Ford surged while Chrysler, GM slipped Who took bailout money and who didn't? #
  • Scientists say dolphins should be treated as 'non-human persons' Just like liberals #
  • Report says an Apple product that doesn't exist will run on a wireless provider they don't have a contract with #
  • Did I read this wrong, or did LA Times say "Avatar" was red-state politics? #
  • Democrats are Dropping Like Flies #
  • Report: Bin Laden was a bad parent In other news, water is wet #
  • Death sentence commuted: low IQ "has significant limitations in his functioning." His murder functions worked just fine #
  • WaPo: Chris Dodd to step aside #
  • All these Dems that have decided to not run again ... I wish they'd pull a Sarah Palin and go ahead and quit to go write a book #
  • Some states allow doctor-assisted suicide. But Facebook won't allow application-assisted suicide #
  • Microsoft launches Bing to compete with Google.... andGoogle responds with a device aimed at Apple's iPhone? #
  • Great. New Firefox (3.5.7) is out. That means another round of Keychain alerts. (It's a Mac plugin thing.) #
  • Still running Office 2003 (Windows) and 2004 (Mac) ... and Office 2010 prices have been announced. #
  • Tubberville to Texas Tech? #
  • Another Georgia man found shot to death in his car. This is happening a lot lately. #
  • Steele: Republicans 'Screwed Up' After Reagan #

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

What I want for next Christmas...

Wife's final Christmas present to me arrived today. It's the new Apple Magic Mouse.

It's a lot slimmer than the old one, the Mighty Mouse. But the thing I like the most is the "trackpad" feature. Apple calls it the "Seamless Multi-Touch Surface." It rocks.

Wife, though, thinks my wanting a new mouse was silly. But, she got it for me anyway.

Her feelings about my new toy -- and many of the new toys I want and often get -- are summed up pretty well in this Onion video from last year (WARNING: NSFW)

[Direct link]

I want it. I want it bad.

Driving like hell

Lots of drivers are bad drivers. Sure, I've made mistakes. I've taken my eyes off the road to look at a passenger or something beside the road that caught my eye, and have nearly run off the road in the process. So, yes, I make mistakes when driving. We all do.

But some people? They seem to have no clue what they're doing. Like when they stop -- completely stop -- in the road because they have no clue what to do. The green light, or the "Right Lane Must Turn Right" sign don't seem to provide any insight. Neither does the sign that says "US 80" with a sign pointing left. These things are no help to some drivers. Those drivers are clueless.

And I've noticed one thing about many of these drivers: Obama bumper stickers. Oh, not all of them. But enough to know that when I see an Obama bumper sticker, I need to watch out. Particularly all these months after the election when they still have the bumper sticker "proudly" showing their support.

So, I wondered about this. What kind of person would still be proud of their support of Barack Obama? A dumbass, perhaps. And their driving habits -- driving like a dumbass -- supported this theory. So I began watching for Obama bumper stickers and bad drivers.

Now, to be fair, not every bad driver has an Obama bumper sticker. And not every Obama bumper sticker is on a car I've seen driving poorly. But there is enough of an overlap that I'm seeing a connection.

Oh, and there's that one other thing: Obama supporters not only drive like hell, they're driving the country there too.

We need to revoke their licenses.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Thoughts for 2010-01-04

  • Giant smurfs rule at the box office Me? I have TiVo and Netflix. #
  • More Dems opposing moving Gitmo prisoners to Yemen #
  • Man opts for jail over New Year with relatives I have some relatives like that... #
  • U.S.: No ‘smoking gun’ in airline bombing plot Just smoking underwear... #
  • I hate when football announcers incorrectly call an endaround a "reverse." There is a difference. via Kirsten #
  • Watching Buster Keaton on teh TiVo. He was teh awesome! #
  • Watching Georgia vs Notre Dame (1981 Sugar Bowl) on ESPN Classic. I was at that game. Finally get to see it on TV. #
  • Obama hanged in effigy, which, apparently, is in Sumter County, Georgia #
  • When somebody went through the wrong door in a Three Stooges short, hilarity ensued. Not so at EWR #
  • Pat-downs for all travelers from 14 nations Now, 80-year-old grandmothers AND Libyans will be screened #
  • Did I miss it, or did no one get fired/resign while Obama was out of the office? Not even Napolitano. #
  • China says 5,394 arrested in Internet porn crackdown If only they'd crack down on spammers #
  • My question for Bernanke: Who regulates Frank and Dodd? #
  • Waiting on the Obama administration to blame Bush for the lockdown at Newark #

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