Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Therapeutic Humor

Normally, you'd expect to see a White Trash Wednesday post by Cousin Red today. But I haven't heard from him in a week, and I'm not sure if he'll show up. In the meantime, this is a perfect opportunity for me to tell you about one of my favorite blogs.

The Therapist is a must-read. If you don't visit that site every day, you're missing on some funny, funny stuff.

Note: Be paitent, there is a punch line coming.

Catfish: Nearly Perfect

Catfish pitcher Chris Malone pitched 8 perfect innings, allowed a single hit and an unearned run in the 9th, and Columbus won the second game of the four-game series in Greenville tonight, 3-1.

The Bombers (Red Sox) won the first game Monday night, 7-2. Tonight, it was a pitcher's duel, with the Catfish scoring the winning run in the 8th inning.

The two players the wife and I "sponsor" contributed to the win. Dan Batz went 3-for-3 with an RBI. Lucas May, while hitless, scored a run.

Headline News: 5/31/2005

From ABC News:
Russia to Pull Troops From Georgia by 2008
Waycross residents delighted by news

From ABC News:
Path Cleared for Rehnquist's Retirement
Has broken off affairs with Ginsburg, O'Connor, Souter

From CNN:
Viagra-vision link probed
Big surprise: Men get hard-ons and go blind

From CNN:
Doctors call for kitchen knife ban
GOP warns: Not what our forefathers intended

From CNNmoney:
France slaps Europe
Europe responds: "France hits like a girl"

From KMGH:
Basketball game ends in gunfire
Gives whole new meaning to 3-point shot

Police use stun gun to get suspect off crane
A bullet would have done the job, saved 56 hours, given two days pay to construction crew, and saved the State of Florida cost of a murder trial

From New York Times:
Woman Makes History at Indy 500 Without Checkered Flag
Feminists everywhere excited about woman losing race

From ABC News:
Andromeda galaxy larger than thought-astronomers
Congress opens NASA-sterioid hearings

From Washington Post:
Washington Post Confirms Felt Is 'Deep Throat'
Sorry, I just wanted to use 'Felt' and 'Deep Throat' in a headline and not get in trouble

Supper: 5/31/2005

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Lunch: 5/31/2005

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  • Beth answers the question: "What is the Cotillion?" (Hint: It's Babe Blogging!)

  • The Therapist says Zarqawi and Bin-Laden are still working together.

  • Knowledge Is Power has a photo of the new French prime minister.

  • Kim (Ramble Strip) laughs at famous people.

  • Red State Rant says there's a story developing in Saudi Arabia.

Breakfast: 5/31/2005

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Monday, May 30, 2005

PGH: A Card for Zarqawi

The wounding of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi made the news this week. Harvey, being the kind soul he is, issued an assignment for Alliance members to send a "get well" card to al-Zarqawi.

Despite the fact the U.S. military captured his laptop earlier this year, I am confident that he will find another.

So, here is my e-card to Abu Musab al-Zarqawi: Abu Musab al-Zarqawi's "Get Well" Card (271 kb, requires Flash 6 or later)

Headline News: 5/30/2005

From ABC News:
Fire Allegedly Set to Get Guests to Leave
It worked

From ABC News:
Devils Steaming Over Criticism of Name
Will change name, strike fear in hearts of opponents as The New Jersey Fluffy Kittens

From ABC News:
Rev. Who Denied God Exists Back in Pulpit
Democrats to try same strategy, replace Howard Dean with Rush Limbaugh

From ABC News:
57-Year-Old's Prom Night Better Late Than Never
Voted by class Most Likely To Tell Classmates To Get Off His Damn Lawn

From ABC News:
France and Europe reel from loud French 'No'
Didn't know what they were voting on, just wanted to tell someone 'No!'

From CNN:
Cell phone ring tone tops Britain singles chart
From the once-great country that gave us The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, & The Who ... the next sign of the Apocalypse

From ABC News:
Alcohol harms women's brains faster than men's
Only because women use theirs

From ABC News:
Are Child Abuse and Meth Use Linked?
Is Study Expected To Show That Meth Addicts Are Excellent Parents?

From ABC News:
Researchers Pinpoint Brain's Sarcasm Sensor
Mine is located in area between the ears

From ABC News:
NYC Mayoral Candidates Learning Spanish
Wants to know what 'cabeza de la mierda' means

Brunch 2005-05-30

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Sunday, May 29, 2005

Search Engine Disappointments X

Yes, it's been a while since I looked at the search engine queries that people have used to get to this little blog. There have been a couple of reasons for this.

When I was doing this on a regular basis a couple of months back, it did something which is sort of funny, but then again, not really funny. My blogging about odd results caused those very results to appear again in the search engine results. I was Google-bombing myself. Sometimes that's good. Sometimes, it's not. For instance...

Catfish: One-run Loss Number 15

Go Catfish! The Catfish winning streak ended at five games today as they dropped the final game of the series with the Hickory Crawdads (Pirates) 4-3. Although Columbus out-hit Hickory, two unearned runs did in the Catfish. The one-run loss with the 15th the Catfish have suffered this year.

Despite the loss, the Catfish took 3 of 4 from Hickory, and posted a 5-3 record for this home stand.

In the morning, the Catfish head to Greenville, SC for a 4-game series with the Bombers (Red Sox), then return to Columbus Friday to open a 4-game series with the Asheville Tourists (Rockies).

Headline News: 5/29/2005

From WGAL:
Teen driving to school hits barn
Dad was wrong

From CNN:
Suspense builds before French vote
American media barely able to ignore the story

From Washington Post:
WW2 bombs found in Italy, thousands evacuated
Bush blamed

From ABC News:
Some See 'Moral Values' Hijacked by the Right
Usually, it's people with no morals or no values that think this

From ABC News:
Ticket Against Jaywalking Chicken Tossed
"Getting to other side" ruled justified reason

From ABC News:
Mom Indicted for Hiring Stripper for Teen
Still considered coolest mom ... ever

From ABC News:
Qaeda says Zarqawi leading anti-govt attacks-Web
In other news ... sun rises in east

From ABC News:
Oliver Stone Arrested on Drug Suspicion
Hard to believe high-profile conspiracy nut may actually do drugs

From ABC News:
Socialist Leads U.S. Senate Race in Vt.
Who knew state that elected Howard Dean leaned far to the left?

From CNN:
Englishman wins Indy 500
Drove 500 miles in wrong lane

Brunch 2005-05-29

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Saturday, May 28, 2005

Fake Sites

Yesterday, moehawk asked me a question about the Alliance of Communist Blogs:
when are you going to update the Alliance of Communist Blogs?

just when i was enjoying my status of "under investigation" or something like that, nothing.

Well, quite simply, I won't. And here's why:

Catfish: Winning Streak At Five

Go Catfish! The longest current winning streak in the South Atlantic League grew to five games tonight as the Catfish beat the Hickory Crawdads (Pirates), 8-5.

The two players we "sponsor" had good defensive games tonight. Dan Batz and Lucas May both played excellent defense at first and short respectively. Luke had a triple and scored in the first inning. Dan still has the top batting average on the team, despite dropping to .285 after going hitless.

In fact, the first four batters in the lineup went 2-for-15, but the rest of the lineup 9-for-19 and provided the scoring difference in the game.

Tomorrow, they close the four-game series with Hickory (and the 8-game home stand). The wife and I are taking a broom to the game.

Headline News: 5/28/2005

From ABC News:
Why Insurgents Seek Victory by Suicide Bomb
They don't understand the meaning of victory

From ABC News:
Internet Report Says Zarqawi Back at Post
If only it was a post to which he could be tied, then shot

From ABC News:
Nepal king says aims to hold polls in stages
Got idea from U.S. Democrats: 1) Lose election, 2) File lawsuit, 3) Lose lawsuit, 4) Whine like babies for 4 years

From ABC News:
Philippines, Iraq Are Dangerous for Press
TV press, print press dangerous for U.S.

From ABC News:
Judges Still Reading Khodorkovsky Verdict
Having trouble getting past the "Khodorkovsky" part

From ABC News:
Court Hears Falwell Web Domain Arguments
Wants domain-squatter to release "bigfatidiot.com"

From ABC News:
Feds Shut Web Site in Piracy Crackdown
William Teach now a fugitive

From ABC News:
Mom Gets Four Times the Surprise
Husband finally discovers importance of the "little man in the boat"

From CNN:
The Who needs your help
But only now, after two members died from drugs and alcohol

From CNN:
Smoke, Mirrors and the Next Generation
Fans shocked to learn the Enterprise-D doesn't really fly

Brunch 2005-05-28

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Friday, May 27, 2005

How To Be A Dumbass II

Sometimes you have to work at being a dumbass. Sometimes, it just comes easy. I'm one of those fortunate few that it comes easy to. But, for those that need to work at it, I offer these tips so that, you, too, can be a dumbass.
  1. Blog about stuff and don't remember what you wrote.
  2. It's always better if you blog about something that made national news. That way, your forgetting about it makes you a bigger dumbass.
  3. When you run across something that refers to the national story you wrote about and forgot, try to be a smartass. That way, you're an even bigger dumbass.

I hope these tips are helpful enough as they are. But, if an example would help, here are actual e-mails that I received, and my response e-mails.

Catfish: Winning Streak At Four

Go Catfish!Before tonight, the Catfish had the longest current winning streak in the South Division of the South Atlantic League. Before tonight. Now, they have the longest current winning streak in the entire league. They won their fourth in a row, and game two of the series with the Hickory Crawdads (Pirates). 9-4.

Dan Batz still leads the team with a .292 batting average, going 1-for-4 with a run scored. Our other player, Lucas May, had the hot bat tonight, going 2-for-5, with a triple and a homer, scoring once and driving in four.

But the story in the making might be recently acquired Ryan Russ, who, while only going 2-for-3, did reach base all four appearances. And, he has reached first base in his last seven plate appearances. That's still far short of the all-time Columbus record of 12, but it's a good start.

There's a lot of talent on the team, particularly as a team, and things are starting to come together. They've played well enough to win 14 more games than they have, which would give them the best record in the league. And, tonight, they continued to play well, and took home the victory. And, like I said, they have the longest current winning streak in the league.

Game three with Hickory is Friday night. I don't know what will happen if they win again. They can't smile any bigger than they were smiling tonight. But I'm eager to see it anyway.

Headline News: 5/27/2005

From ABC News:
Ex-Dentist Gets Probation in Semen Case
Victims say experience leaves bad taste in their mouth

From ABC News:
Voyager 1 reaches solar system's final frontier
On target to be destroyed by Captain Klaa in 2287

From ABC News:
Man Gets 20 Days in Toy Banana Flashing
Still faces trial for squeezing melons at fruit stand

From ABC News:
Man Arrested for Wearing Grinch Mask
Tells arresting officer: "You really are a heel. You're as cuddly as a cactus, You're as charming as an eel."

From ABC News:
Bush pledges $50 million in aid for Palestinians
Will allow them to spend more on bullets and car bombs

From ABC News:
Study: Cigarette Smoke May Harm Fertility
Nature's way of preventing stupid people from reproducing

From ABC News:
Senate Defeats Minimum Wage Increase
Dog food makers keep large client base

From CNN:
New gaseous planet found in Milky Way
No immediate plans to colonize planet, christened Flatulence VII

From CNN:
Police union urges fair boycott (KGTV)
Unfair boycotts still more fun

From CNN:
Live Aid hoping for Spice Girls return
Last hope after William Huang turned down benefit concert

Supper 2005-05-27

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Lunch 2005-05-27

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Breakfast 2005-05-27

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Thursday, May 26, 2005

Filthy Lie: Evil Glenn vs. Writer's Block

It spread like wildfire through the blogosphere. Word was out, and many were shocked, stunned, or too numb to know if they were shocked or stunned.

Evil Glenn Reynolds® has a case of writer's block. While he is the sworn enemy of the Alliance, he is a lawyer and we must tread carefully. With that in mind, Harvey said he wanted to know how Evil Glenn Reynolds® handles writers block. So, I set to work trying to find how he handles it. Then I found the answer, and it was surprisingly simple:

He seeks professional help.

Catfish: Winning Streak Continues

Go Catfish!The Catfish now have their longest winning streak of the season. Tonight, they won their third game in a row, 10-1 over the Hickory Crawdads (Pirates).

Our two players had good nights tonight. Dan Batz went 1-for-4 with an RBI and a run scored. Lucas May went 2-for-4 (two doubles) with 2 RBIs and a run scored.

The Catfish pitcher, Chris Malone, had the team's second complete game of the season, allowing only 3-hits. Both teams played errorless ball.

At the moment, the Catfish three-game winning streak is the longest current winning streak in the South Division of the South Atlantic League.

They can make it four in a row with a win Friday night, when they play Hickory in game two of the four-game series.

Headline News: 5/26/2005

From ABC News:
Parental Group Says Hilton Ad Too Hot
They obviously haven't seen what she eats in her earlier video

From ABC News:
Rare Set of Identical Quadruplets Born
Not to be Confused with Common Set of Identical Quadruplets

From ABC News:
ABC plans new 'Nightline' tribute to U.S. war dead
No plans for show about those killed in Newsweek riots

From ABC News:
Bugs in Termite Guts May Offer Future Fuel Source
Termite guts now over $51 a barrel

From CNN:
The scripted series isn't dead
WWE more popular than ever

From CNN:
NASA seeks oxygen source on moon
Lack of air on moon makes finding source difficult

From KGTV:
Fishermen accused of killing protected fish
Defends: "They weren't protected very well, were they?"

From WPLG:
Did racing lead to fatal crash?
Earnhardt fans face the awful truth

From CNN:
Tennessee lawmakers, former senator indicted
Suspects names not mentioned in headlines since they are related to a Democratic congressman

From CNN:
Cox takes step toward challenging Clinton
Rumors are true: Hillary doesn't like Cox

Supper 2005-05-26

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Lunch: 2005-05-26

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Breakfast 2005-05-26

Try one of these specials with your breakfast:

  • Chase (he's back!) says ... well, let him tell you.

  • Jo is a fairy.

  • Joe has been reading a lot. Sort of.

  • Moe does headlines.

  • phin continues with an identity crisis.

  • NIF rounds up ... everything.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Wednesday on Thursday?

The post by "Aunt Gladys" was extremely delayed. Although it was written in time for posting on Wednesday, "Aunt Gladys" had trouble logging in and posting.

It took me until nearly 12:30 Thursday morning to crack her password, but it was finally done. And it's late, but we don't want you to miss out on her thoughts on graduation ceremonies.

Class of 05 (and the lack thereof)

White Trash WednesdaysWhut ever came of peoples havin' class? I ain't talkin bout all them college younguns trying to learn them an education in class. I'm a talkin about folks havin some upbringin and manners. Now work with me here...bein the fact that one of my nephews graduated Friday night, I did whut any aunt would do, got all flossied up, and went to the ceremony.

Headline News: 5/25/2005

From ABC News:
Doctor Offers Advice to Severely Overweight Child
Put down the PlayStation, turn off the TV, get your ass off the couch, and go outside. And no dessert tonight.

From ABC News:
Guidant delayed disclosing device defect - NY Times
NY Times delayed disclosing integrity defect - Guidant

From ABC News:
Jenny McCarthy Risks Being 'Bad Girl'
Already a bad actress

From ABC News:
Steve Westly to Run for Calif. Governor
It's okay, no one in California ever heard of him either

From ABC News:
Sharpton says Mexico's Fox making race spat worse
Says Fox trying to steal his job

From CNN:
Airline food linked to illnesses
Dr. Rumack: What was it we had for dinner tonight?
Elaine Dickinson: Well, we had a choice of steak or fish.
Dr. Rumack: Yes, yes, I remember, I had lasagna.

From ABC News:
Man Hooks World Record 124-Pound Catfish
Expected to pitch Thursday against Crawdads

From ABC News:
Woman Calls 911 With Pizza Complaint
Little Cæsar arrested, charged

From ABC News:
Wilbanks Indicted on False Crime Charge
Would have been okay if she had wound up like Laci Peterson

From CNN:
Syria halts cooperation with U.S.
Syria may encourage more terrorist groups in addition to their current support of HAMAS, Palestinian Islamic Jihad (PIJ), the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine General Command (PFLP-GC) and the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine (PFLP), the Democratic Front for the Liberation of Palestine (DFLP), the Abu Musa Organization (AMO), the Popular Struggle Front (PSF), and Hizbollah*

Supper 2005-05-25

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Lunch 2005-05-25

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Breakfast 2005-05-25

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Tuesday, May 24, 2005

WTW: Graduation

White Trash WednesdaysEver since this past weekend, I've been debating whether to do the White Trash Wednesday post myself, or let Cousin Red take care of things as normal.
Hey, you promised I'd get Wednesdays, and it ain't right to renege on a promise.

Well, as you can tell, this will be a split post. I'm going to talk about this past weekend's trip to my home town and my son's high school graduation.
Hey, don't forget the nephew's graduation!

That's right. My Big Sister (who's 5'4") and her husband were proud parents this weekend when their son, Master Thespian, graduated.
So, you gonna tell about what all went on, or just run your mouth?

Catfish: Winning Streak Continues, Now At Two

Go Catfish!The winning streak is now at two! The Catfish earned a split with the Savannah Sand Gnats (Nationals) by an 8-4 score.

Once again, the first run and the winning run (the 5th run tonight) were scored by Dan Batz, one of the players the wife and I are "sponsoring." Dan went 1-for-3 with a walk and 2 runs scored. His team-leading average is up to .295 for the season. Our other player, Lucas May, went 1-for-4 with a walk and scored a run.

Afterward, the whole team was was all smiles. Winning feels good. A winning streak feels really good.

Tomorrow is an off day. Dan's going golfing. Luke's has a guest in town. I'll be home at a decent hour. Thursday, it's the Hickory Crawdads (Pirates) in town for a four-game series.

The winning streak continues.

Headline News: 5/24/2005

From CNN:
Iraqi prime minister to visit Syria
Wants country's weapons of mass destruction back

From ABC News:
Products Placed Liberally in Video Games
GOP decries media bias

From ABC News:
High School's Lone Senior Graduates
Nearly went blind at Senior prom

From ABC News:
Poll: Daley's Approval at 16-Year Low
Among live voters; still holds wide lead among dead voters

From CNN:
Female Afghan TV host shot dead
Death of innocents not considered a problem; Possible U.S. abuses of terrorists decried

From ABC News:
Newsweek Reporter Says He Dropped the Ball
Bush blamed

From ABC News:
Can Humans Live With 'Maneaters'?
Daryl Hall, John Oates called in as consultants

From ABC News:
The Resurrection: Searching for Answers
Maybe the Bible has something on that topic

From ABC News:
U.S. House votes to outlaw computer spyware
Will be as effective as laws outlawing spam, drugs, and prostitution

From ABC News:
Iraq Qaeda says Zarqawi wounded, urges prayers-Web
Dear Lord,
We ask Your guidance upon our soldiers, that You may steady their eye and that their aim be true and that the next time that sorry bastard gets in someone's sights that they are able to blow his freakin' head off.

Supper 2005-05-24

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Lunch 2005-05-24

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Breakfast 2005-05-24

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Monday, May 23, 2005

I'll Take Those Links!

Every now and then a blogger faces a quandary. One that seems to be prevalent at the moment is how to refer to a site and provide the reader a link to that site without giving that site the credit of a link or a hit.

Well, I can't help you with the hits issue. A hit is a hit is a hit.

But I can help you with the links issue. How you ask? Thanks for asking. Here's how: Link to me.

No, really. Link to me. I'll take the links. I don't get any hits out of it, but I'll take all the links.

No, I'm serious. Link to me.

Okay, I better explain:

Catfish: Losing Streak Ends, Winning Streak Begins

Go Catfish!It was a long, hard, seven-game losing streak. The key word in that sentence is "was." Tonight, the Catfish finally broke through and beat the Savannah Sand Gnats (Nationals), 5-3.

One of our players, first baseman Dan Batz, went 1-for-3 with a walk, scored the winning run and drove in the insurance run. Our other player, Lucas May, was hitless tonight, but all smiles afterwards. Like Dan, Luke is a real team player and is happier going hitless and the team winning than having a good individual game but losing. They are those kind of players, and the wife and I are fortunate to be "sponsoring" them.

The fourth game of the series is tomorrow, and the Catfish can salvage a series split with a win.

Headline News: 5/23/2005

From ABC News:
Big Year for Male Actors at Cannes Fest
Nearly all best actor awards expected to go to men, women only expected to win best actress awards

From ABC News:
Drug Dogs Trained to Find Talcum Powder
Tinactin not so tough actin' anymore

From ABC News:
Calf Born in New Mexico With 5 Legs
How New Mexico got five legs is still unknown

From ABC News:
Was Your Meat Smarter Than Your Pet?
Not anymore

From ABC News:
Are 'Star Wars' Fans Spoiled by Spoilers?
Or by living in their mom's basement?

From ABC News:
Kylie Minogue Surgery Reported Successful
Talent implant raises career hopes

From ABC News:
Warren Beatty: I don't want to run for Calif gov.
That makes two of us

From ABC News:
Bush Urges Graduates to Serve Community
Howard Dean urges dropouts to vote for Democrats. Again.

From CNN:
Greek goddess wins song contest
Had threatend to turn judges into wild boars

From KMBC:
Librarian keeps working at 99
They think she's still working; nobody's been in library in 20 years

Supper 2005-05-23 (Movie lines)

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Lunch 2005-05-23

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Breakfast 2005-05-23

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  • Jordan does photography.

  • Vince Aut Morire says Allah's got new boarders.

  • Jody is hosting the New Blog Showcase. Now all that's needed is ... new blogs.

  • Conservative Thinking doesn't think much of the whole "Sleeping With The Enemy" exhibit.

  • Beth just loves Arianna's new blog and Arianna's ethics.

  • Dan found a video of Saddam. You have been warned.

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Thank You. Thank You. Thank You.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

I owe a big thanks to three people that allowed me to enjoy graduation weekend:

Thank you phin. Thank you moehawk. Thank you Joe.

Sunday Brunch: 5/22/05

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Not enough dogs or…

too many buns?

It is a source of frustration at cookouts everywhere: There are never enough hot dogs, and there always seem to be way too many buns.

Hot dogs and hot-dog buns are sold in different quantities, but that is going to change beginning today.

Vienna Beef and Alpha Baking Co., which manufactures S. Rosen's buns, promise to sell the buns and hot dogs in the same numbers.

According to a news release, the companies will sign a formal "piece" treaty, vowing to package hot dogs and buns in quantities of eight.

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Livin' 2gether

This morning my partner Doug pointed out the circular nature of my earlier Hillary question: asking the other side what they thought of asking the other side what candidate to run.

I answered, "Hey, what I'm asking is different." He didn't buy it.

But Jo gave me what I was looking for:
As for Dimwits going for people based on what other's think, it's the mentality of the Clinton White House all over. He flipped and flopped back and forth based on Polls -- what other's thought. They have no substance of their own to go on, because they rely on what "others think". This is a classic sign of an Adult Child of an Alcoholic btw -- we tend to want to make everything perfect and we kill ourselves trying to please the other person. Not that the dimwits want to please us, but the premise is the same -- they have no core values to base their decisions on, they are not solid in any convictions. They flow one way or another at the whim of another, either hated or loved.

Yes, yes a thousand times yes. How can anyone respect that? Er, I mean the "rely on what others think" part.

I think if Democrats stand up for what they believe in (and I think they have some core beliefs they're too chicken to stand by these days), they'd be better off than by trying to "win the south" by becoming Republican-lite.

I like to think that all of us can respect someone for taking a position out of conviction, even if we don't agree with the position. If we win, great. If we lose, lose with dignity. And sometimes we can even compromise.

Compromise, by the way, is different than no substance or waffling, flip-flopping, on a position. I think maybe if we can trust that each side is coming from honest conviction, thought out and reasoned, maybe we can respect each other enough to compromise sometimes.

See, I figure we all got to live together, and we all do live together, and we do it pretty well. I came to middle Georgia after 28 years in New York City. I've been welcomed by my community. Basil's done more than his fair share of introducing me around to the blogosphere.

Lots of people are bound to not like or disagree with my position on this or that issue, but maybe as we move to mutual understanding we can come to compromise, and on those issues where we're stuck, live and let live.

So no more Hillary posts from Joe--this weekend :-) I'll try to look for something fun before I go...

A chip off the ole block

If you've been reading basil's blog long I'm sure you're wondering just what the man behind the blog looks like. Well for your viewing pleasure, I'm prepared to release an up to date photo of basil. Not only do you get an updated photo of basil you get to see the worlds next heart throb, basil jr.*

Since it's graduation it was the perfect time to catch basil and basil jr. in their natural habitat as they were walking across campus.

Not made in the USA

Yahoo news:

Need a plastic White House? How about an "I love Washington" sweatshirt or a Stars and Stripes for the car? Well, thanks to communist China, you won't break the bank.

...Little more than a flick of a patriotic frisbee from the White House is a cornucopia of tourist kitsch, at knockdown prices courtesy of low-wage workers halfway across the globe.

Tourists can choose a "President of the United States" baseball cap, with a pirated official seal across the front -- good value at 12 dollars.

Or plump for a pewter-style handheld statue of Abe Lincoln or a model of the US Capitol for eight dollars.

Even more ironic is the seven buck scene of one of the quintessential moments of American mythology, the raising of the US flag by marines at the World War II battle of Iwo Jima.

In one of the most patriotic nations on earth, each of these pieces bears a "Made in China" sticker on its base.

Brunch: 5/21/05

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Friday, May 20, 2005

Hillary a Catfish fan?

Basil invited me to guest blog while he was away and imediately I wondered, how can I make a Hillary Clinton post fit? You see, she's been on my mind because it was reported this week that Georgia Democrats back Hillary in '08.

Over at my place I'm battling a liberal who says she's smart and he likes her but because conservatives don't like her the Dems shouldn't pick her. I answered that I don't see Republicans choosing candidates based on how Democrats will react.

So my question here is twofold: what's your take on the notion that Georgia Democrats want her to run, and what do you think of Democrats who want to pick a candidate based on what the other side thinks?

Be gentle.

Oh, and how about if you begin your answer by telling me if you would shake her hand if she came to a Catfish game. If you think that's absurd, remember, that's precisely how she won over conservative upstate New York voters (and it is said that she enjoyed doing it).

Lunch: 5/20/2005

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The great get away

So basil's made his get away. It's a bit unfair if you ask me too. See we were sitting around chatting over for a breakfast of peanut butter cookies biscuits and gravy and then sneaks out the door. We figured out he was leaving when we heard the engine fire up and him screaming something about lollipops.

BasilgetwaySure he's got a decent excuse for leaving, like his son graduating, but he could have left us something decent to eat. I checked the fridge and there's some left over chicken and dumpling, but it may be a tad bit on the old side.

Hmmm, what to do for lunch??? It's to early to order pizza and beer for lunch so I'll have to see what's in the cupboard. Be back soon with lunch y'all.

Note #1: Sure he looks a bit young to drive, that's why he isn't, Mrs. basil (not featured in the picture) is driving.

Note #2: I know his yard looks like a lunar landscape. I keep telling basil to water the grass, but he just won't listen.

Breakfast 2005-05-20

I invited a few friends over for breakfast this morning. And, little do they know, I'm sneaking out the back door. My son is graduating high school and I'm hitting the road this weekend. I asked them to turn off the lights and lock up when they leave.

Oh, and the trash bags are under the sink. And the doctor's number and the sheriff's office number are on the fridge.

Now, before we go, are soem places where you'll find specials to have with your breakfast:

  • phin's blog always has something fun worth digesting.

  • aTypicalJoe has food for thought.

  • moehawk keeps you informed and entertained.

  • It'sAPundit has, well who knows what those folks have planned?

  • IMAO has funny. And it's the second-best group on the Internet.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Perfection, Part II

Yesterday, mentioned that I thought a great pitching performance in baseball was as exciting as lots of runs. And that a no-hitter is that to which all pitchers aspire. But, a no-hitter is trumped by a perfect game: no batters reaching first base, for any reason (hit, error, walk, hit batsman, etc).

All that, to tell you what I think is the perfect baseball story:

Headline News: 5/19/2005

From ABC News:
British MP Galloway says 'blew away' U.S. committee
Others thought he just blew

From CNN:
Reptile gets VIP treatment at Georgia park
Harry Reid visits Six Flags

From CNN:
PETA accuses lab of punching monkeys
Not the first time family pet has expressed anger with simians

From KSAT:
Records: Blacks stopped more often
Also concludes sun rises in east

From Washington Post:
Gaming Expo Bars Bloggers
Most bloggers would be at the bar anyway

From ABC News:
Star Wars Fans Happy With Last 'Episode'
Now George Lucas can finally produce Howard The Duck II, and III

From ABC News:
Man Said to Use Pastor's Computer for Porn
Nude photos of ladies choir were for pastor's personal use, preacher sues

From ABC News:
Jerry Lewis' Near-Fatal Struggle With Pain
Actually watched one of his old movies

From ABC News:
GOP Aides Say New Patriot Act Obliges Bush
Will allow President to build Death Star

From Washington Post:
Microsoft Eyes Older Machines
Thinks they're sexy

Supper 2005-05-19

Try one of these specials with your supper:

Lunch 2005-05-19

Try one of these specials with your lunch:

Breakfast 2005-05-19

Try one of these specials with your breakfast:

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Perfection, Part I

There's an old joke about the cub reporter who went to cover a baseball game, and told the late-arriving veteran that nothing important had happened, since neither team had gotten a hit.

Of course, there's also the other old joke about baseball being 15 minutes of action crammed into 3 hours of play.

Baseball fans can really appreciate that there's a lot more to baseball than hits and runs.

It's not a fast moving game, which makes it the perfect sport for a summer afternoon. Of course, most games are now played under the lights, which isn't a bad thing. But many who go to baseball games today want action. They want to see home runs.

Not me.

Catfish: 1-Run Loss #11

CatfishAnother one-run game. Another one-run loss. And another game where the run that beat them was an unearned run.

Tonight, the Charleston RiverDogs (Yankees) beat the Catfish 4-3. That's the 11th time this season the Catfish have lost a 1-run game. While I wasn't at this evening's game (seeing as how they are over in Charleston, SC), I have spoken with some of the players about these close losses. Those games really hurt. A lot.

Thursday night, game three of this four-game series. Friday closes the series, and the Catfish return to Columbus Saturday.

Headline News: 5/18/2005

From ABC News:
Woman Charged With Cutting Husband's Penis
Attorney: "All that fuss over such a small thing"

From ABC News:
Women to Deliver Food in Snug T-Shirts
Will wear orange shorts and be knows as "Hooters Waitresses"

From ABC News:
Mime Artist Claims to Know 'Piano Man'
Either that, or he's stuck in an invisible box, not sure which

From ABC News:
Mother: Wendy's Finger Used to Settle Debt
Creditors had demanded an arm and a leg, but she negotiated down

From ABC News:
Courtroom Family Matters
Steve Urkel takes the stand

From ABC News:
U.S. Gives Anchorage $1.5M for Bus Stop
More than double amount paid for "Long Cool Woman In A Black Dress"

From ABC News:
Saudi Academy Disputes Radical Reputation
Will cut the heads off anyone who spreads such vicious lies

From ABC News:
Muslim Reaction: Apology Is Too Little, Too Late
Bush blamed

From ABC News:
Dems Say Bolton Sought to Punish Dissenter
Just like they are doing with him

From ABC News:
Senate Defeats Minimum Wage Increase
Spokesman: "Who says a bunch of millionaires can't look out for the little man?"

From ABC News:
'The Riddler' Frank Gorshin Dies at 72
Riddle me this: "Who sheds tears over someone he never met?"
Answer: Me. We'll miss you, Frank Gorshin.

Supper 2005-05-18

Try one of these specials with your supper:

Lunch 2005-05-18

Try one of these specials with your breakfast:

Breakfast 2005-05-18

Try one of these specials with your breakfast:

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

WTW: Busy Weekend

White Trash WednesdaysLast weekend was a busy weekend for Basil. You might have read that he went to Athens, Augusta, and to his home town. Well, I don't normally go on no trips to anywhere fancy like that. But his trip made me think of a busy Saturday I had a few months back.

One Saturday morning, we got up and went deer hunting. We didn't have no luck at all.

After we gave that up, we went motorcycle riding. That wasn't as much fun as it sounded.

So, we called it a day and went to the Burger King.

Not as much fun as it all sounds, but overall, I guess it was a pretty good weekend. And it was a darn sight better than this past weekend.

More White Trash Wednesday

Agent Bedhead
Alabama Improper
And Rightly So!
Dangerous Logic
Feisty Republican Whore
It Is What It Is
Lost In Lima Ohio
Mean Ol' Meany
Merri Musings
MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy
Pennsylvanian in exile
Pirate's Cove
Public Figures
Riehl World View
Right Truth
Six Meat Buffet
Stupid Random Thoughts
The Jawa Report
The Nose On Your Face
The Therapist
Vince Aut Morire

Catfish: Another 1-Run Loss

The Catfish opened their series with the Charleston RiverDogs (Yankees) tonight, and the outcome was familiar. Good, close game, but Columbus fell 2-1 in 11 innings.

One of the players the wife and I "sponsor," Lucas May, had 2 of the 4 Catfish hits, a solo-homer in the 4th and a double in the 7th. His batting average is up to .288, second on the team behind Dan Batz, our other player, whose average fell to .304 after going hitless tonight.

Once again, the Catfish came so close, but weren't able to clinch the win, allowing the tying run in the bottom of the 9th, and the winning run in the 11th.

Tomorrow, the series continues with game two of the four-game series.

Headline News: 5/17/2005

This evening, we turn it over to an anonymous blogger who sent me some Headlines. Here's the back story: It was hectic at work yesterday and today. I didn't get much of a chance to scan the news for Headlines this evening. I hoped that one of my sisters was eager to have prepared some, but with the school year closing, they've been busy.

Now, the lesson: The Lord will provide. An e-mail with these Headlines came when needed. And they're a lot better than what I could have done.
Eating lunch and watching the BBC... the headlines caught my attention.

Don't know if this is your style, but you're the only one I know who'd understand. Besides, I'm not going to blog it: it's your turf...
Actually, lots of folks are doing Headlines. And doing them much better than your humble servant. But, since he isn't posting them on his own blog, I assume he wants to remain anonymous.
Canada defection boosts coalition
North America will do much better without the communists.

Diplomatic turf war grips Israel
Is *That* what they're calling it now?

Malawi minister held over wedding
Traditionally, Jews are married under a Canopy.

Ethiopia victory claims condemned
Italy says that, really, they invaded and whooped butt. It's in the history books.

Second ferry sinks in Bangladesh
Bruce! Come quick! Tinkerbell is going under for the third time!

So there. I got a break when needed. You got some Headlines that were funnier than normal. And my friend got to remain anonymous.

For a while.

Supper 2005-05-17

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Lunch 2005-05-17

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Breakfast 2005-05-17

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Monday, May 16, 2005

PGH: Putting China In Its Place

With all the unrest in the world today, the last thing we need is another front opening in the war for liberty and freedom. But, a front has been opened.

Communist China has taken steps to suppress blogs. They aren't the only country doing such, but they are by far the largest and most powerful to take these actions.

We in the Alliance of Free Blogs were recently made aware that Communist China (also knows as the People's Republic of China, or the PRC) has even blocked the blogs of some of our members. The case cited was the blog, Right Hand of God. It — and all Blogger sites, Alliance member or not — are blocked in the PRC.

The Alliance leadership is up in arms about such treatment, and rightfully so. Harvey is leading the call for action.

Some — and I won't embarrass them by listing their names or the names of their blogs — are urging caution. And they do make a case for proceeding slowly:
After all, you don't treat all threats to your person the same. If, for instance, you are in the woods and a spider land on you, you can flick it away with your finger. On the other hand, if a bear lands on you, you should react in a somewhat different manner.

In today's world, Iran is a spider; China is a bear.
Well, a Panda bear, perhaps. But the point is well taken. You don't handle every threat the same.

Still, such action cannot be tolerated. Besides, it's not like Communist China will attack us. So, I support Harvey's initative to respond in force to the PRC threat to the Alliance.

After all, what are they gonna do about it?

Baseball Blogging: No 1-Run Loss This Time

The Catfish closed out their series with the Augusta GreenJackets (Giants), dropping the finale, 9-2.

Despite the loss, the two players the wife and I are sponsoring had some bright spots. Dan Batz upped his team-leading batting average to .311, going 2-for-3 with a double and an RBI. Lucas May increased his batting average to .282 with a double and an RBI.

Others on the Catfish played well, with the team collecting 9 hits. However, the Catfish only managed the two runs, stranding 7 runners, 4 in scoring position. That, along with a couple of errors in Augusta's 7-run 7th inning spelled the difference.

Tuesday, the Catfish travel to Charleston, SC for a four-game series with the RiverDogs (Yankees).

Headline News: 5/16/2005

From ABC News:
Hawaii's Kilauea Volcano a Big Polluter
Bush blamed

From ABC News:
Man Who Used Vaccum Part As Gun Sentenced
Attorney: Ruling sucks

From ABC News:
Hong Kong's Bun-Snatching Contest Revived
Chinese come out of the closet

From ABC News:
Md. Inmate Dies After Fight With Guards
Not expected to try that again

From ABC News:
Mexico's Fox Defends Comment on Blacks
Sen. Byrd unsure whether to support Coloreds or Greasers in dispute

From ABC News:
Iran sanctions no sure bet in UN Security Council
Shocking news, considering the strong stand taken against Iraq

From CNN:
Newsweek retracts Quran story
Bush blamed

From CNN:
Viagra-fueled horses seized by police
Kept tripping over themselves

From BBC:
Japan names day after Hirohito
"Got Our Asses Nuked" Day will be August 6

Supper 2005-05-16

Try one of these specials with your supper:

Lunch 2005-05-16

Try one of these specials with your lunch:

Breakfast 2005-05-16 (News Weak)

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Sunday, May 15, 2005

Augusta, Georgia Is Just No Place To Be

Actually, that's a line from a song by the Dirt Band. And this past weekend, I went to Augusta, Georgia for the first time. And it wasn't a bad visit. But let me start with the beginning.

A few weeks ago, the wife and I went to Athens to visit The Little Princess, who's a junior at the University of Georgia. Her sorority was having "Daddy/Daughter Day" at the Bulldogs' baseball game that Sunday afternoon. And, since her computer was having problems, we scheduled some time to figure out the problem.

It took a while, but we got her laptop fixed. But we didn't have time to fix her desktop, so I took it with me and worked on it. Got it all cleaned up, Norton updated, and Spy Sweeper installed. But still needed to get it back to her. Schedules just didn't work out. Until this weekend.

My son is graduating from high school back in my hometown, and there was an event at church and meal afterward. (Note: Baptists love to eat!) So, I would be heading that way. I took a vacation day Friday and took the Princess her computer, then went to Augusta for some baseball, since the Catfish were playing there and since The Little Prince had stuff going on, then went to my hometown for the Sunday events.

So that's how I ended up in Augusta.

I must say, the fans were very well behaved during the two games I saw. One sitting near me got a little beer in him Saturday and started acting a bit like an ass, but he was the only one. And everyone was very well behaved Friday. And both nights, they were applauding and acknowledging when the Catfish made some good plays. So, the Dirt Band got it wrong from what I saw.

Baseball fans. I like that.

The world could use more baseball fans. At least like the ones I encountered in Augusta.

Baseball Blogging: Win Vs. Augusta

CatfishThe Catfish continued to play winning baseball Sunday afternoon, and this time, they got a win out of it. The Catfish beat the Augusta GreenJackets (Giants) in Augusta Sunday by a 4-2 score.

Lucas May, one of the players the wife and I are sponsoring, continued having the hot bat, hitting a grand slam home run in the fifth inning, providing Columbus with all the runs they needed.

Dan Batz, our other player, upped his batting average to .303 to lead the team. Technically, Cole Bruce has a higher average for the season, but he's only played two games in Columbus, and his .308 average includes games in Vero Beach. While Dan and Cole are the only Catfish batting over .300 for the season, others on the team are just below .300 and could reach that number in the next game.

That next game is Monday night, as they go for a split with the GreenJackets, before heading to Charleston to take on the RiverDogs (Yankees) in a four-game series.

Headline News: 5/15/2005

From ABC News:
Wisconsin Group Drops Cat-Killing Plan
Iron Chef must seek new ingredient for next show

From ABC News:
Invasive Wood-Killing Wasp Found in N.Y.
The Montgomerys have been lumberjacks since the 1920s

From ABC News:
TV presenter Rolf Harris to paint Queen Elizabeth
Harris: "A little spackle, a new coat of paint, and she'll be good as new"

From ABC News:
British director Vaughn finds 'Star Wars' a bother
Enjoys not having hit movies

From CNN:
China: Clothing restriction is wrong
China in favor of supressing speech, liberty

From WDIV:
Arsonist wanted in massive fires
Pay is not great, but promise great benefits

From CNN:
Call for U.S. apology over Quran
Bush refuses, says he didn't write it

From Washington Post:
Japan to Honor War Emperor
Amazingly, got his country nuked and stayed in power

From BBC:
Man charged over Mary-Ann's death
Ginger, Professor expected to testify

From BBC:
Man 'bit off part of wife's ear'
Misunderstood wife's request 'Eat me'