Thursday, March 31, 2011

Wife's new love

Wife has a new love. And she has taken her new love off to Tennessee for the weekend.

It's my fault, I supposed. Last year, I introduced her to her new love. But little did I realize where it would lead.

There was a spark there all along, looking back on things now. I didn't see what all was developing. But, the whole time, she was growing more and more attracted ...

I'm not saying that I suspected anything, but I saw an attraction there. However, I didn't know it would lead to this.

And then, earlier this week, I found her in bed with her new love.

And now, she's gone off for the weekend. With her new love.

She actually had this trip planned for a while. But, I've got to work this weekend, finishing up a big project at work. And she scheduled her tip for this weekend.

And, this morning, she left for her trip with her new love.

When she arrived at the hotel, she even sent me a picture of her room. A picture of the bed.

Yes, she did that.

I hope her and the iPad are happy.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Obama likes spending

Some say Obama likes spending. I wonder if there's any evidence to back up that claim?

[Direct link]

Friday, March 25, 2011

An opportunity wasted

Turns out that the president might not be to blame for his latest inability to open a door. Did you see his latest inability to open a door?

[Direct link]

Yes, that first one was actually a door, not a window.

As you can see, he's finally learned how to use a door knob, because he managed to open the second door.

Which means the first of the two doors was locked.

Which means the second of the two doors wasn't locked.

Somebody didn't do his job right. Because that somebody left one of the doors unlocked. And now, Obama is back in the White House.

A perfectly good opportunity arose to keep him out, and someone dropped the ball. The country could have been saved by someone simply locking another door. Now, we're back to going to hell in a handbasket.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Phone calls

Remember when you used to like getting phone calls?

When I was a kid, phones were pretty big deals. There were only a couple of phones in the house. In fact, we used to be on a party line. The phone would ring and we'd rush to answer it ... if it was for us (one long ring was ours, 2 short rings was the house next door). We wouldn't make it, because one of the parents would yell for us to leave the phone alone.

Phones were a big deal.

Later, after we got a private line, phones were still a big deal. But, after a while, we realized that when we did answer the phone, it wasn't for us. It was somebody wanting to speak to a grown-up. We'd give the phone to one of our parents anyway.

The phone lost all its mystique, and when it rang, instead of us running to try to get to the phone before a parent told us not to, we'd ignore it and continue watching Bewitched or Batman or Gilligan or whatever was on TV. Until one of the adults said to go answer the phone. We would, and it would be for one of the adults. And we'd miss something funny that Darren or Uncle Arthur said.

In high school, it started being common for one of the teens to get phone calls. There'd be the occasional upset over someone else getting calls, or being on the phone so we couldn't get or place a call. But, unless we wanted to make a call or were expecting a call, the phone was no big deal.

After moving out on my own, I got my own phone. That's when the phone became a pain. Sure, all the calls were for me. But the phone bill was for me, too.

And things pretty much stayed that way for a while.

Then came cell phones.

My first one was a bag phone. It didn't have a battery, but plugged into the cigarette lighter in the car. About a dozen years ago, I finally gave it up for a standard cell phone that I could carry around with me.

However, phone calls weren't all that exciting. You see, the calls weren't all for me. Many were for whoever used to have the number before I had it. But, after having the number for a while, those stopped. For a while now, most of the calls have been for me.

However, along with all these changes in phone and attitudes, one other thing changed. My age. I got older. And so did everyone else.

Now, when the phone rings, I look at the clock. If it's late, it's probably bad news.

This week, that happened. It was after dark, and my sister was calling to let me know about a cousin (my first cousin's son) who was killed in a wreck.

And that's how it is with phone calls now. It's rarely good news. If it's someone I know calling, it's likely that someone else I know has died. If it's someone I don't know, it's someone who wants to sell me something. It's never the kids calling. The old Jewish ladies on TV are correct: the kids never call.

I miss the days when I looked forward to phone calls.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Operation Kick Out The Bad Guy

I'm watching with interest how people react to the military action that started on March 19th.

I'm sure you've seen the news, right? The U.S. is participating in action with other countries in strikes that, truth be told, are simply to remove a bad guy from power.

This dictator came to power decades ago. He's been a thorn in the side of the west for some time. He's sponsored terrorism, and he has been killing his own people.

Some in the U.S. are concerned that we don't have a clearly-defined mission. But here's the truth of the matter. The president, whether you like his politics or not, decided not to take unilateral action, but to get the U.N. to say that if the dictator doesn't stop, force will be used.

He didn't. And now force is being used.

There will be lots of people in the U.S. opposed to this action. Others will support it. At least one Democrat has called for impeachment. And the media don't really know how to handle all of this.

What will I do? Well, I've decided to get in my time machine and go forward eight years. 2003 looks like it will be a rough one. 2011 will have to be better, right? In fact, when I get to 2011, I'll post these thoughts on the Internet somewhere for people to read. They'll read what I wrote and think how silly it all was.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Making death safer

Georgia is in trouble with the DEA. The feds have seized Georgia's supply of thiopental, which is one of the drugs used in the state's lethal injection procedure.

It all began when customs held up a supply of thiopental in Memphis last summer. Seems some states, including Georgia, went and got some more from another source. Only that source, which the state identified as Link Pharmaceuticals, a British company (which was bought by Archimedes Pharma Limited around 5 years ago), isn't FDA approved.

Last month, lawyer John Bentivoglio wrote a letter to Eric Holder complaining about how the state got the drug. Bentivoglio wrote Holder on behalf of death row inmate Andrew Grant DeYoung, who killed his parents and teenage sister back in 1993.

Now, the DEA has seized the state's supply of drugs.

Something similar happened in Arizona last year, and the Supreme Court gave the state the go-ahead to use its supply of drugs. Two days later, Arizona executed the inmate in question.

Anyway, some people are all upset that one of the drugs that Georgia uses to kill people might not be safe.

This is one of those things that, a few years ago, would have been a story in the Onion or some other satiric source.

In Obama America (AKA Bizarro World), it's business as usual.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Save a military hero

Don't lose sight of the fact there are two Obamas in the White House.

There's the man of the house. And there's her husband, Barack.

Now, just in case you're thinking I'm out of line by picking on the First Lady, keep in mind that Michelle (or, "M'Sel" in her native Klingon) isn't running around planting trees or cutting the ribbon on department stores. She's running around telling you what you can eat. It's part of the Nanny State mentality of the left.

Anyway, she's now got a new notch on her belt. And it's a two-for-one: She's winning her control of your dinner plate, and putting a military icon out of business.

Yes, there are fears that Cap'n Crunch will lose his job.

That bowl of wonderfulness that cuts the inside of your mouth to little pieces in the most delightfully painful way may soon be no more.

Think about that. Your children ... or your children's children ... may not be able to enjoy a bowl of Cap'n Crunch. Not regular Cap'n Crunch (my favorite). Not Peanut Butter Crunch (poor Smedley). Not Crunch Berries.

Now, Quaker Oats is denying reports that the cereal is going away. But I gotta wonder. Is this simply the first step to erase our childhoods?

We must take action to ensure that Cap'n Crunch remains available for generations to come. Dentists, tooth fairies, and children's happiness all depend on Cap'n Crunch remaining a daily part of a wholly-unbalanced breakfast.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

NASA discovers poodles living in the sky

Last week, Dr. Richard B. Hoover, an astrobiologist with NASA’s Marshall Space Flight Center, announced that there was evidence of alien life in meteorites.

According to his report at the Journal of Cosmology, life is common in the universe:
...these fossilized bacteria are not Earthly contaminants but are the fossilized remains of living organisms which lived in the parent bodies of these meteors, e.g. comets, moons, and other astral bodies. Coupled with a wealth of date published elsewhere and in previous editions of the Journal of Cosmology, and as presented in the edited text, "The Biological Big Bang", the implications are that life is everywhere, and that life on Earth may have come from other planets.
As evidence, he offered photos of what looked like life.

© Journal of Cosmology

But the surprising news doesn't stop there, according to Dr. Hoover. "Building on this conclusion -- that is, if it looks like life, then it's probably life -- we now have proof that poodles live in the earth's sky."

While some scientists are skeptical of Dr. Hoover's latest claim, he offered additional photos to support his hypothesis.

"You see this? There's no doubt that it's a poodle. But closer examination shows that it's floating in the sky with clouds," Dr. Hoover said. "It's obvious that giant floating poodles live on the earth. In fact, there may be additional giant floating dogs, not just poodles, that live in the sky."

While there is no photographic evidence of other airborne canines, Dr. Hoover suggests that other evidence points to their existence.

"The meteorites that contain microscopic slugs? How did they get to earth? I think that other sky-dogs may have seen the asteroids zipping by in space and, well, essentially played 'fetch' with them, bringing them to earth and dropping them on us," Dr. Hoover concluded.

The scientist stated that more research needed to be done. He said that once NASA learns more about the giant floating dogs, it is possible they could be trained to not only fetch, but to also deliver satellites into space.

"The possibilities are endless," Dr. Hoover said.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Fred Phelps vs Paul of Tarsus

If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.

And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away.

For we know in part and we prophesy in part; but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away.

When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.

For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known.

But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Who's people?

Are you white? Then you're not Eric Holder's people.

[Direct link]

Holder concluded his comments saying that the Department of Justice doesn't let race figure into its decisions. Even though race figures into his thinking, I suppose.

But, perhaps he wasn't lying. Perhaps he was telling the truth when he said race wasn't a factor. That would mean that "my people" wasn't referring to any particular race of people. Perhaps it referred to another group of people.

Like who?
  • Idiots
  • Morons
  • Socialists
  • A**holes
  • Mustache-Americans
  • Attorneys
  • New York Yankees fans
  • Snake oil salesmen
See? Race doesn't enter into it.