Some days you just can't get rid of a cheeseburger!

You ever had one of those days where it felt kinda like a Twilight Zone episode? I had one recently.

I had taken a sandwich to work, planning to eat at my desk at lunch and get a few things done without being bothered. Of course, some things came up and I needed to run an errand. So, despite my plans to the contrary, it turns out that I'm leaving the office at lunch anyway. I eat and drive as I run my errands, and then, as I'm heading back to the office, I wind up stopped at a stop sign.

I saw her before I got to the intersection. So did the car in front of me. And the car in front of them. She finished talking to the car in front of me as I was approaching the intersection, and she walked out of the street back onto the sidewalk to the left.

I stopped at the stop sign, looked to the right, back to the left ... and there she was at my window. Some sad story about wanting to get some money to buy food for her three kids -- maybe it was four; more on that in a minute -- in her car that's over on 11th. She points the wrong way.

"I won't give you any money, but I'll get you some food. Be right back."

So, I turn, realize that there's a Burger King closer if I go the other way. So, I turn around and head towards the BK.

I forgot there's also a McDonald's right near the Burger King, and the McDonald's is actually easier to get into and out of. So, I hit the drive-thru at the McDonald's.

Couldn't remember if it was three kids and four of them total, or if she said four kids. So, I order five McDoubles, five small fries, three bottles of milk, and two bottles of water.

I head back to the intersection where she was, and she's nowhere to be found. So, I head towards 11th. She's not there, and there's no car with kids.

Okay, fine. I have five McDouble meals. Not a problem. Every time I stop for gas at the gas station across the street from the McDonald's downtown (not the one I bought the burgers from), someone always approaches wanting money or a ride or something. So, I'll just swing by there and find one of those people and give them some Mickey D's. Only, for the first time in memory, there's no bums hanging around.

Okay, there's a few that hang around the downtown Burger King, so I head by there. None to be found.

Post Office. I often get accosted at the Post Office by someone claiming to be a veteran that served in some Army unit that never existed. So, I head to the Post Office. Nobody hanging around out front. There are even plenty of parking spaces. That never happens.

Ah. I know. The Synovus building. It's over by the river, and there's some homeless guy that sits on a bench overlooking the river walk and eats, sleeps, and does whatever else there, 24/7. So, off to the river. He's not there.

It seems that all the homeless people took the day off. Here I am, stuck with five McDoubles, and now I'm starting to run late getting back to work.

The good news, I suppose, is that those people at work can eat. I mean, I've seen goats eat less.

I sorta wondered about all the homeless people. You see them all the time, but you never notice them. And now, here I am looking for them and I can't find any. I'm still trying to figure out where they all went.

If you have any ideas, let me know. I'm curious as to what they're up to.

SEC! SEC!

You're probably thinking I'm about the brag about how great SEC football is, aren't you. Well, it is, but I'm not gonna do that right now. Wait until a little closer to football season.

But, I am gonna brag about our SEC. Our state execution chambers. You know. Where they take folks on death row when it's time to execute their sentence. The one in Georgia works quite well.

I bring this up because Arizona took 117 minutes to put one Joseph Rudolph Wood to death yesterday. I'm not crying over the length of time it took for Wood to die for the murders of his ex-girlfriend and her father back in 1989. No, he's had nearly 25 years on the state dime. If it took him a little long to pay the piper, that's too bad. But I do have a problem with his execution. An hour and 57 minutes is just way too long. There's overtime involved, for one thing. And at the most basic level, it's inefficient.

And Arizona isn't the only state running an inefficient death chamber. Back in January, it took Ohio 26 minutes to put down Dennis B. McGuire for raping, sodomizing, and killing a pregnant woman in 1989. The 25 years that Ohio kept him around more than makes up for the 26 minutes it took him to die. But, still, 26 minutes is not very efficient.

Then there's Oklahoma and the trouble they had with Clayton Derrell Lockett back in April. They actually didn't execute him, not really, but he died anyway. That's the one where they stopped the execution when it didn't go exactly as planned, but the convict had a heart attack on the gurney and died anyway. So it worked out. He died at the hands of the state for burying a girl alive back in 1999.

I have a solution for these states that have trouble executing convicted killers. Come to Georgia. We do it right.

Remember when everybody got their panties in a wad over the Oklahoma execution by heart attack? Well, about seven weeks later, Georgia marched Marcus A. Wellons to the little room at the Georgia Diagnostic and Classification State Prison in Jackson, and put him to sleep for raping and strangling a 15-year-old girl back in 1989. Georgia simply strapped him down and ended his life. Quick, simple, efficient.

So, for the states that have trouble, contact the state of Georgia about contracting out the executions. Chain your convict up real good, give him some escorts, and y'all come on over. Drop the intended off at Jackson, then ... go play tourist.

You can head over to Hampton if there's a NASCAR race that weekend.

Or, if the Braves are in town, catch a game at The Ted (it'll be gone soon).

There's Six Flags just west of Atlanta.

Stone Mountain on the east side of the capital city might have a fireworks show, if you don't want to see a bunch of 90-foot-tall Confederate generals.

Grab a meal at Chick-Fil-A (they're all over the place in Georgia) and a Coca-Cola (the formula was invented in Columbus, not Atlanta).

Drive down to the Golden Isles and put your feet in the water on Jekyll or Saint Simons.

Savannah is a nice place to visit, particularly if you want to get drunk on St. Patrick's Day, so try to schedule your execution for mid-March.

If there's the chance of a last-minute delay, and you don't mind paying the state for the prison overtime, you can spend a few days in a cabin up in the north Georgia mountains.

Of course, you can go to Lookout Mountain just south of the state line at Chattanooga, TN, and, like the old signs on the barns used to say, "See Rock City."

Go get yourself a real Vidalia onion.

Or, just sit on the banks of the Altamaha, relax, and catch some fish. Or, at the very least, drown some worms or crickets.

There's lots to do. And, for you, as well as for your convict, there'll be memories to last the rest of your life.

Peggy Joseph 2014

Remember Peggy Joseph? Sure you do.


[The YouTube]

Well, she's using different words now.


[The YouTube]
Tip: The Other McCain

The question is not who "will she vote for in 2016?", it's "who will she vote for in 2014?"

I didn't mind making fun of her in 2008, or in the years since. But she seems to be wising up. So, maybe there's hope -- real hope -- after all.

But, if I stop making fun of Peggy Joseph, that doesn't mean I'll stop making fun of Barack Obama and others who still drink his Kool-Aid. None of us should.

Do you have a funny story of someone who was Peggy Joseph then and is still that way? Share it. We could all use a good laugh.

Thor got boobies

Thor has boobies.

That's some comic book thing, by the way. But, a lot of comic book people seem to hang around the internetz, so you may already know what I'm talking about. You kids with your Archie comics and your hula hoops and your fax machines...

Anyway, Marvel comics has announced that Thor is a woman now.

“The inscription on Thor's hammer reads ‘Whosoever holds this hammer, if HE be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor.’ Well it's time to update that inscription,” says Marvel editor Wil Moss. “The new Thor continues Marvel's proud tradition of strong female characters like Captain Marvel, Storm, Black Widow and more. And this new Thor isn't a temporary female substitute - she's now the one and only Thor, and she is worthy!”

I'm not sure how I feel about that. Partly, I don't care, because I don't read Marvel or any other comics. But, I do sorta care because it points out what's wrong with entertainment today: people don't have any ideas for story, so they use gimmicks.

I mean, there's no reason to give boobies to Thor and make the Norse god really irritable on certain days. Well, unless you can't come up with a good idea for a real story. Then, of course, making the god of thunder a chick keeps you from having to actually be creative. Plus, you get all the Hillary supporters on your side. After all, if Thor can be female, why not the president? They forget that Hillary would be less feminine than the current office-holder. And that's not a slap directed at Hillary.

Anyway, what are the ramifications of Thor having boobies? No, really. What are they? You see, I really don't read comics, so I have no idea what Thor the comic is all about. I did some research, but ran across things like alternate universes and the Negative Zone, and villains like Zarrko, Bloodaxe, Surfer, Thunderball and such.

Yeah. I'm not reading all that.

Anyway, Thor's got boobies. Did I mention that? Will this really work? And, if so, what's next? Batman and Robin as lesbians? Catwoman as a dude?

I've never been so anxious for a meteor to take us out than I am now.

A Carney a Day...

Didya hear? Jay Carney is being considered for a new job. Spokesman for Apple.

Yes, that Jay Carney. Barack Obama's own Baghdad Bob, Jay Carney. Former White House Press Secretary Jay Carney. That's the one.

According to reports -- or several reports all quoting one source -- Carney is being considered as the head of PR at the tech giant.

That's not really what I want to hear. But, I'm sure some Apple bashers will love it. So, go ahead.

First, let me tell you that I'm not one of the Apple bashers. I'm typing this up on my MacBook Pro (my second Apple laptop), with my iPhone 5s (my third iPhone) and iPad Air (my second iPad) nearby. Oh, and the TV screen is showing content from my Apple TV (my second). So, no, I'm not an Apple basher. But, the Cupertino Kids are opening themselves up for it now. So now, go ahead. Bash away.

Let me offer a couple of topics, to try to direct this thing. Who would be a "better" head of PR than Jay Carney? Or, just as bad? Like Tommy Flanagen? The Jon Lovitz character, not that actor with the similar name, although maybe him, too.

Or Muhammad Saeed al-Sahhaf? You know him as Baghdad Bob.

Perhaps other suggestions for positions at Apple? If Jay Carney is a good fit, who else would be?

Doctor Who - Epilogue

The Doctor

As I watched all the episodes of the Classic Doctor Who show, I wrote my thoughts down. Then, when I was done, I mulled over going ahead and watching the newer stuff. That meant watching The Movie, and Paul McGann's Doctor. So, I did. Had to buy it, sight unseen.

Eh. McGann himself was okay, but I didn't like The Doctor being involved with a companion. Sure, there's no question that The Doctor and Ramona had a thing going on, but that was off-screen. The show wasn't about that, it was about Adventures In Time And Space. I loved that Sylvester McCoy opened the movie as The Doctor. He never explained how he had destroyed Skaros but then was able to travel to Skaros and get The Master's body.

And, they should have had Anthony Ainley reprise the role of The Master for the opening. Or at least used his image from clips and paid him for that. Nothing wrong with Eric Roberts' portrayal.

And, after watching The Movie, I watched the other episodes (the newer ones, from 2005 on) and specials. And Webisodes.

Yeah, it's okay. But, there are things I didn't like. And, me being me, I'm gonna tell you what I didn't like. I'll assume you have seen the newer episodes, and specials, and webisodes, up to and including Peter Capaldi's Doctor asking Clara if she knew how to fly the TARDIS.

The Doctor and companions being more than simple companions? Don't like it. Maybe that's why I really like the dynamic with The Doctor and Donna. She is truly a friend of The Doctor. The relationship was more like The Doctor (2.0) and Jamie. That worked well. And The Doctor and Donna worked well.

Rose? Not a fan. Even her surprise appearances don't thrill me. The Brigadier's occasional returns were treats. Rose's? Not so much. Rose should've ended up with Mickey. Not the early Mickey, but the later Mickey.

Martha? Good companion, but the whole "feelings" thing was what ruined that. Her ending up with Mickey was good, for both of them. I'd like to see them return.

Donna? Love her. She's up there with Sarah Jane Smith and Jamie McCrimmon in the whole hierarchy of companions.

Amy and Rory? Yeah, they're good. But the best thing to come out of their time with The Doctor was *SPOILERS* River Song.

River Song? Yeah. More River Song. Somehow. That relationship with The Doctor worked. That's wasn't a young, silly girl having a crush on the Time Lord (Rose, Martha, etc), it was a real relationship that stood the test of Time And Space.

Clara? She's alright. Let's see how they wrap all that up. But so far, they've done okay with here.

Ah, but the show isn't called The Companions. It's Doctor Who. And, The Doctor is the star, or stars, of the show.

Paul McGann, I though was just okay. Least favorite Doctor for some time. His later surprise appearance in The Night of the Doctor brought him up in my eyes a bit. I want to see more of that Doctor.

Christopher Eccleston was okay. About the time I got used to him, he bailed on he show. Shoulda stuck around for three years, at least.

David Tennant? Yeah, he was alright. Probably coulda played The Doctor for a lot longer. Overall, liked him. Not Peter Davison or Patrick Troughton liked him. But, he was fine.

Matt Smith? His biggest problem was the scripts. The whole "Oh, I know what to do because myself from the future suddenly appeared and told me what to do" got a little old. It's called the TARDIS, not the Deus Ex Machina.

Oh, and John Hurt? Yeah. He was alright. Particularly when he was keeping Matt Smith's and David Tennant's Doctors in line, he reminded me of William Hartnell keeping Jon Pertwee's and Patrick Troughton's Doctors in line.

Oh, yeah. The villains. Some of the classic villains returned, and it was hit and miss.

The Autons? They did those right. Those were truly the Autons chasing Rose and The Doctor around when the new series launched. With better makeup and effects. That gave me hope for the new series.

The Sontarans? I like what they did with them. Nothing. They are true to form. Better makeup, just as with the Autons. The Sontarans are definitely the same villains as in the old show. And that's a good thing.

The Cybermen? Nope. Well, not the ones from the alternate universe. They did have the ones from Mondas, the real ones, appear later. I think. They looked kinda like the original Cybermen. So, I'll just tell myself those are the real Cybermen and be happy.

Daleks? Nope. Daleks can't fly. That ruined everything. It was a shock when they could elevate up stairs when taking on The Doctor (7.0). Now, they can suddenly fly? Nope. That's wrong.

The Master? He's been okay. Season Eight featured too much of The Master. When they scaled it back, it was wonderful to see him appear. Roger Delgado was fantastic, as was Anthony Ainley. I would like to have seen more of Derek Jacobi as The Master, but John Simm was good in the role. I want to see more of The Master. Once a season. Maybe twice, to throw us off.

New villains? Well, the Weeping Angels were kinda neat. But those fart aliens? Americans, I suppose. None of the other ones stand out, all these weeks after finishing the new series.

But, overall? Yeah, the new series is okay. Maybe Peter Capaldi's Doctor will be a return to the Classic series. More actual story and less generic blowing stuff up.

I'm looking forward to the 8th season of the new series when it returns in August. So, maybe I do like the new series after all.

Independence Day 2014

IN CONGRESS, July 4, 1776.

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.--Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

• He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
• He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
• He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.
• He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.
• He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.
• He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.
• He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.
• He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.
• He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
• He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.
• He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.
• He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.
• He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
  
  • For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:
  • For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:
  • For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:
  • For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
  • For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:
  • For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences
  • For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:
  • For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
  • For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.
• He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.
• He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.
• He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.
• He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.
• He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Brittish brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.