Basil's Blog: 2006

Sunday, December 31, 2006

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Open Trackbacks 2006-12-30

Out of town this weekend, so no chance to check the blogrolls. However, if you'd like to share an item via TrackBack, please feel free to do so, as long as your submission follows the TrackBack policy.

Friday, December 29, 2006

Headline News 2006-12-29

From ABC News:
Feds Apologize for Strip Search of Muslim Woman
Having seen her naked, say she 'needed to wear a burka'

From ABC News:
U.S. Military Deaths in Iraq Hit 2,991
Only 9 away from Democrats' big party

From ABC News:
Good Samaritan Makes Up for Stolen Bikes
Kid enjoy riding Samaritan

From ABC News:
Nation Plans 5 Days of Mourning for Ford
Has spent last 30 years mourning his loss to Carter

From ABC News:
Duke D.A. Charged With Ethics Violations
Worse than raping whores

From ABC News:
In Germany, expectant moms hope babies hold off til Jan. 1
Won't be able to party if in maternity ward

From ABC News:
FDA plan would OK cloned meat
Now clones can eat something besides human brains

From ABC News:
Even a Small Nuclear War Could Change the World
Center for the Obvious releases latest report

From ABC News:
Climate change enhances gray seals' sex lives
Revealed: Gray seals behind global warming

From CNN:
Togo backs rape, incest abortions
Rape, incest now easier

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Headline News 2006-12-28

From ABC News:
Rapist Preys on Men in Suburban Houston
Ned Beatty cancels Astros season tickets

From ABC News:
Bush Gives Earrings, Gets Biking Shoes As Gifts
Gift exchanges with Cheney always a surprise

From ABC News:
Head-Banging Snakes May Predict Quakes
Metal music finally has a purpose

From ABC News:
Paul McCartney Working on Stage Show
Job as roadie will help pay for divorce

From ABC News:
Picking Through Ford's Cabinet
Relatives looking for will

From ABC News:
Deputy in Gibson Case Claims Harassment
"Electric Youth" singer likes men in uniform

From ABC News:
Edwards Tosses Hat in 2008 Ring
Was mussing his hair

From ABC News:
Political Blunders of 2006
Top of list: Electing Democrats

From ABC News:
The Year's Top Cookbooks
Number one: "To Serve Man"

From ABC News:
Man Accused of Using Log in Assaults
Commercial was right: "It's big, it's heavy, it's wood"*

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Movies For My Big Sister

I found out something about my Big Sister (who's 5'4'') this week that I didn't know.

She lives a sheltered life.

Okay, I actually knew her life was somewhat sheltered. But it hit me just how sheltered.

No, I don't mean things like meeting certain undesirable elements of society. I mean from good things. From pleasant things. From positive things.

Like really good movies.

You see, my Big Sister (who's 5'4'') has never seen "It's a Wonderful Life," for example. She's seen parts of it, but never the whole thing. Of all the times it's aired on network TV or on local channels during the Christmas season over the years, she's never seen it all.

Oh, that's not all.

She's never seen "A Christmas Story" either. No "I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle!" or "You'll shoot your eye out" or "It's a Major Award!" or "Fra-gee-lay. That must be Italian." or "I TRIPLE-dog-dare ya!" or ... Well, if you've seen the movie, you know I could go on and on. But my Big Sister hasn't seen it.

And she's never seen The Princess Bride. Which means that "As you wish" has no special meaning to her. Nor does "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." Neither does "Anybody want a peanut?" hold any special meaning. Nor the R.O.U.S.es. Nor "INCONCEIVABLE!" Nor "Not to 50!" Nor anything from that movie.

And she's never seen Casablanca. Which means she doesn't know the answer to the question: "Liebchen - sweetnessheart, what watch?" Or "What kind of a man is Captain Renault?" She doesn't know who Captain Renault told his men to arrest for killing Major Strasser. Or anything from that movie.

My Big Sister (who's 5'4'') has lived a sheltered life. The Wife and I are planning an intervention. Or a reverse intervention.

Because she should see those movies. And so should you.

Headline News 2006-12-27

From ABC News:
Body of Missing U.S. Climber Found in China
Fell 63,360,000 feet

From ABC News:
Death Toll climbs to 265 in Pipeline Blast
Democrats call for pullout from Nigeria

From ABC News:
Sex, Alcohol, Drugs: A Day in the Life of a College Freshman
Center for the Obvious releases latest report

From ABC News:
Watch the Anchors' Favorite Segments
"More American Soldiers Being Killed" tops list

From ABC News:
ABC News Remembers Gerald Ford
Ran against him in 1976

From ABC News:
Mel Gibson Explains His Drunken Anti-Semitic Rant
Tells reporter he was a drunk anti-Semite

From ABC News:
James Brown's Body to Lie at NYC Apollo
Where body left after being picked clean

From ABC News:
Taiwan Quake Disrupts Phone, Web Service
Millions of spammers out of work

From ABC News:
Military: Abu Sayyaf Chief Remains Found
Many prefer he remained lost *

From ABC News:
Iraqi Govt Silent on Conduct of Saddam Hanging
If Saddam doesn't complain afterwards, will assume no objection

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Babysittin'

Evry now an dthen, I get called upon to do some babysitting for family or folks i know.

Soemtimes its when an emergncy comes up and somebody's go to go to the hospital or the funeral home or the football game or something.

Most of the time, tho, it's when somebody is just tired of looking out for that little rugrat they brung into the world nine months after a druknen gropefest in the back of the Dodge.

Anyways, I work cheap. I don't ask them to pay ne mohthing. The only thing I wants in return is free run of the house.

That inlcudes the fridge, the cable tv (although some of the trailers my kinfolks live in has one of them ~~satell~~ ~~satteell~~ Direct TV dishes. /Them's great, too.

Oh, and the liquor cabinet.

Okay, there's usually not a liquor cabinet. But there's usually liquor in the cabinet, if you follow the difference.

Oh, and long distance. I might want to make a call to Monique or Kimberly or one of those other girls.

Anywhow, babysitting is a preetty wsweert job if you can get it.

I gets it a lot.

Cause I don't drink up al lthe liquor. I don't drop too many doritos or nachos on the couch while watching Direct TV,. And I always keep my calls under 30 minutes.

The onyly hassle i ever urn into is those little monstors that i'm babysitting.

If they're bigg enough to talk back, they're big enough to get their mouth slapped.

They don't talk back much.

But them little ones can be a handfull.

Alway7s running aournd getting into teverything. Breaking stuff. Pulling the cat's tail. Knocking over the nahcos. things like that.

But i've found as long as i can get my hand on one of their play-toys and what I call my "babysitter's friend" then I'm good to go...

What I Didn't Expect To Get For Christmas … But Got

From my mother-in-law...

Tuscan Sun Basil Oil

I don't know what to say.

Of course, that led to me getting a little leg from the Wife when we got home...

A Major Award

If you have a post about an interesting gift, or anything else you have that might be interesting that you'd like to share via TrackBack, please feel free to do so, as long as your submission follows the TrackBack policy.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Christmas 2006

Chapter 2

And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed.

(And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.)

And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city.

And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David

To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.

And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.

And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.

And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.

And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.

And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,

Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

A Visit From St. Nicholas

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse; The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there; The children were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads; And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap, had just settled down for a long winter's nap, When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, tore open the shutters and threw up the sash. The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow gave the luster of mid-day to objects below, When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer, With a little old driver, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick. More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name: "Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet! On Cupid! On, Donder and Blitzen! To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall! Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!" As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky, so up to the house-top the coursers they flew, With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too. And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof the prancing and pawing of each little hoof. As I drew in my hand, and was turning around, down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound. He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot, and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot; A bundle of toys he had flung on his back, and he looked like a peddler just opening his pack. His eyes — how they twinkled! His dimples how merry! His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry! His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, and the beard of his chin was as white as the snow; The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth, and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath; He had a broad face and a little round belly, that shook, when he laughed like a bowl full of jelly. He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf, and I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself; A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread; He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, and filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk, Laying his finger aside of his nose, And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose; He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, and away they all flew like the down of a thistle. But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight, "Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Friday, December 22, 2006

Headline News 2006-12-22

From ABC News:
Al Qaeda Message Dems: We Defeated GOP
Al-Zawahiri now Democrat's front-runner for 2008

From ABC News:
Men Need Help Buying Bras, Panties
Need no help removing them

From ABC News:
24-Foot Squid Caught on Tape
New Shell No-Squid Strips hot sellers

From ABC News:
Rosie vs. Trump War
Most undecided whether to support the witch or the devil

From ABC News:
Meet the Family Really Named 'Christmas'
ACLU demand name be changed to 'Winter Holiday'

From ABC News:
Paternity Test for Anna Nicole's Baby
Baby denies fathering a child

From ABC News:
A Giant Lizard's Immaculate Conception
To give birth to lizard Messiah

From ABC News:
Bush Pardons Small-Time Meth Dealer
Looks out for college buddies

From ABC News:
Patrons Toss Dead Cat Through Drive-Thru
Had ordered it with no onions, pickles

From ABC News:
Woman Allegedly Steals ID for Inmate Sex
Large black market for inmate sex permits

The Christmas Meme

The player of this game starts with "3 things he/ she would love to get for Christmas" and also has to list "3 things he/ she definitely does not want to get for Christmas". Then he/she tags 5 friends and list their names. The ones who get tagged need to write on their blogs about their Christmas wishes, as well as state this rule clearly, then tag 5 more victims. And the one who tags need to leave his/her victim a comment that says "you've been Christmas tagged!" in their comments and tell them to read your blog.
Django, Pug Blog

'Twas three days before Christmas, and that's when I found
7.62 measured the size of the round
I was hit with. Of course that could only mean
Sniper One had hit me up with that darn Christmas Meme.

Should I play along or should I be a stopper
And disappoint Sniper One ... and Alabama Improper?

c.a. Marks was the one who had given the fate to
Sniper One after she'd been hit by 123beta.

Butch offered his meme as response to a dare
From This That and Frog Hair 2's Patty McBlair.

Now Patty was tagged by the Junebugg li'l pixie
Of Wasted Days And Wasted Nites in the old Heart of Dixie.

To her the meme came with tremendous velocity
By way of Carina's Doggie musing and animalosities.

Carina's tag came from Wisconsin's Muskego
Where Sharon and Snickers enjoy everywhere they go.
And while Life With Snickers seems like a fantasia,
It's as real as Ben_Benjamin who lives in Malaysia.

"IM NOT A DOG!" says Ben's blog. I believe what he writes.
Who am I to argue with a canine that bites?

Ben_Benjamin was tag'ed with this Christmas meme
By Super Boy & Baby Licious who share a dog theme.

Those two pups were brought in by old dog Joe Stains
Whose life there in Tempe is devoid of the rains.
While Joe Stains can often be full of much bluster
He softened when tagged with this meme by young Buster.

Yes, Buster the Wired Fox Terror of bunnies
Passed the meme on to bloggers of serious and funnies.

But who had tagged Buster? Of course you'd feel smug
If you knew it was none other than Ronin The Pug.
Ronin shared his wishes as the meme, it required,
Plus two-thirds again more. There's much he desired.

He was tagged with the meme by those two doggy mugs
Named Gidget and Duke from A Tail Of Two Pugs.
Now Gidget and Duke love the Christmas sensation.
In this meme it turns out they are second generation.

For they were hit with it hard by Pug Blog's Django
Who started this long-listed Christmas meme tango.

Now that all are aware of this meme's genealogy
Here's my list of things I'd love to get on the Holiday.

My first wish for Christmas on this wish-list deal
The Wife knows for sure, it's my favorite meal.

But it's Christmas and that means it's not about getting
The second wish of course, is a stop to blood-letting.

The third thing I want is some peace and some quiet
I'm tired of protesting and calling for riots.

What do I not want? Don't think I'm insane,
But what I don't want is more of the same.
By that I mean fussing and fighting and strife.
I just want to spend time with the kids and the Wife.

I don't want to listen to idiots on TV.
I don't want to hear about Nancy Pelosi.
I don't want to read about trashing my nation.
I don't think that war losses are cause for cel'bration.

You might think I'm sounding like Seuss' old Grinch,
But I don't want the noise and I don't want the stench
Of fussing and fighting and cursing and yelling
Of blaming, accusing, or lies that they're telling.

It's Christmas and that means to every nation
God came to this world to bring us salvation.

Muslim and Hindu and Christian and Jew,
Every belief on this world, held by me or by you,
If it preaches love for your fellow man,
Live up to its teachings. I know that you can.

If you don't believe as I believe, that's alright, that's okay,
I still wish you all, Merry Christmas, anyway.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Groundbreaking Television

Here's a trivia question for you.

Who was the first homosexual character on television?

Some point to Ellen Degeneres' character Ellen Morgan on Ellen, which aired from 1994-1998.

Others remember Tony Randall's character Sidney Shore from Love, Sidney, which aired from 1981-1983. Other's say that, unlike Ellen, it was never explicitly stated that Sidney was homosexual.

Then there's Billy Crystal's character Jodie Dallas from Soap, which aired from 1977-1981. Of course, he was not a lead character.

Few remember Vincent Schiavelli's character Peter Panama from The Corner Bar, which was on the air in 1972 & 1973.

While not on U.S. television, John Inman played Wilberforce Clayborne Humphries on Are You Being Served?, which later aired on PBS in America. While John Inman is homosexual, there's nothing in the show that says that Mr. Humphries is. It certainly seems that it's implied ... or that other characters thought he was.

But one character precedes them all. And it's a character from a holiday classic.

What could that be? you ask. Keep reading...

Headline News 2006-12-21

From ABC News:
Lewinsky Gets Master's in Social Psychology
Says school didn't suck as bad as she thought it would

From ABC News:
Ahmadinejad Embarrassed: Foes Win Elections
GOP loses U.S. Congress, takes over Iranian Parliament

From ABC News:
Jessica Simpson Out of Parton Tribute
Organizer: 'Two big boobs were enough'

From ABC News:
Hollywood Eyes '06 Box Office Rebound
With GOP out, Hollywood will make movies, not faux-documentaries

From ABC News:
Scooter-Riding Woman Rescued From Drain
Libby told authorities where he left her

From ABC News:
Woman Puts Baby Through Airport X-Ray
Airline wouldn't let her check baby at ticket counter

From ABC News:
The Truth About Where Your Donated Clothes Go
Michael Moore's Fashion Boutique opens

From ABC News:
FBI Stats Show Spike in Violent Crime
Director denies connection

From ABC News:
Indonesia Overturns Bashir's Conviction
Kira, Dax convictions stand

From ABC News:
Iraq Executes 13 Prisoners in Baghdad
Shows Florida how it's done

Open Trackbacks 2006-12-21

If you're reading this, it means I'm still suffering from a cold. So, on this 21st day of Winter (no, that's not a typo) ... I'm not able to search the blogroll and offer samples.

But, if you'd like to share an item via TrackBack, please feel free to do so, as long as your submission follows the TrackBack policy.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Lulu

Georgia is a pretty special and wonderful place to live. We have mountains and seashores, wide open spaces and Atlanta. If you live in Georgia, you sometimes hear the term "The Two Georgias." That's referring to Atlanta and then the rest of Georgia. I live in "the rest of Georgia." Rural South Georgia to be precise.

Agriculture is pretty important here. If you go out for a Sunday drive, you'll see cows, goats, chicken houses, and lots of immigrants working in the fields. You'll have to watch the roads carefully, though, because you have to share the roads with large trucks such as the ones hauling logs or wood chips to the mills. Early in the morning, you're likely to see a truck hauling live chickens to Stillmore or Claxton. If you don't live in a rural area, you don't know about the chicken trucks; they transport lots and lots of white feathered chickens to the poultry plant where they will be "made ready" to sell at your local grocery store.

A few months back during late summer, my mother-in-law and her neighbor had struck up a morning conversation when they went to the mail box to retrieve the Savannah Morning News to read while sipping a morning cup of coffee. As they were talking, a Claxton Poultry truck roared past and lost a chicken. It fell off the truck right smack dab in the middle of the road in front of my mother-in-law and her neighbor.

Well, my mother-in-law has a soft spot for animals... even the ones that are supposed to end up on your Sunday dinner plate... so she raced out into the highway to rescue the dazed chicken before it got run over. The neighbor (who is from Canada and has only been in the US for about a year) had never before seen a live chicken, so needless to say she became quite animated over the whole thing.

The two ladies decided they needed to see if the chicken was ok, so my MIL took the chicken inside and checked her out. She seemed to be only dazed and a little scared to be out of a pen, so my MIL put her in a laundry basket. There the chicken stayed for the rest of the day and the night...only she was banished to the storehouse so she wouldn't stink up the house.

Over the next few days and weeks, the neighbor visited and became quite attached to the chicken, so she took it home with her and made it her pet. The chicken's name is Lulu. Lulu eats the cat food that's left out on the back stoop, and she really loves birdseed. She'll come up to you and make those "brrrrrraaaaawwwwwk' chicken noises, poop, and wait to be petted. I haven't petted Lulu yet. There was talk of bringing Lulu to my house for Christmas...as a pet...not as supper. I said noooooo.

Lulu was headed to the poultry plant to become someone's main course. Most chickens I buy to fix for supper are around 2 or 3 pounds. The neighbor's been taking exceptionally good care of Lulu since the summer. Lulu is headed on towards 15 pounds now. I told my neighbor about Lulu. My neighbor had a pet chicken...it lived to be 13 years old. It makes me wonder how big Lulu is going to get.

I sometimes wish I lived near Atlanta so I could go to the theatre and museums and such, but if I lived there, I don't think my life would be near as exciting...or at least not near as unique..as living in south Georgia where neighbors have pet chickens.

I can just hear Jeff Foxworthy saying, "If you've ever rescued a chicken from the middle of the highway..." or "If you've ever rescued a chicken that fell off a truck..." or "If you've ever taken to raising a chicken for a pet...you might be a redneck."

sigh...

Lulu

Here's Lulu's picture...taken this past weekend.

Headline News 2006-12-20

From ABC News:
Most Americans 'Do It' Before Marriage
Fewer 'do it' after marriage

From ABC News:
New Tape Shows Al Zawahri's Softer Side
Now a lovable, bloodthirsty maniac

From ABC News:
Teen Gets 10 Years in Prison for Oral Sex With Girl
Now gets to try oral sex with boys

From ABC News:
Search For Missing Climbers Grows Grim
Bush blamed

From ABC News:
Injured Man Wins Damages for Sex Overdrive
New Viagra instructions warn against overdose

From ABC News:
Lara Flynn Boyle Gets Hitched in Texas
Able to pull wagon

From ABC News:
Eminem Divorces Wife Again
Remembers why he divorced her first time

From ABC News:
'NSYNC's Fatone Wants to 'Dance With the Stars'
Had met a star once

From ABC News:
Poland Proposal Would Name Jesus King
Sign above crucifixion to be changed

From ABC News:
32 Baby Jesus Dolls Found in Ill. Yard
Poland to decide which one is real

Cold and Flu Season

My Big Sister (who's 5'4'') thinks I'm allergic to something.

I agree. I'm allergic to being sick.

This week, I've been fighting a cold. Might have caught it from one of the grandchildren. Last time they were over here, they were coughing.

It doesn't alarm the Wife. One of them has had a cough since 2001, so I guess they're used to it. I think something's wrong. But I could be wrong.

But, for whatever reason, I'm sick.

So, I've been sitting at home today, trying to catch up on email and surfing the 'Net. Found a couple of YouTubes to post, but they seem to cause a problem with some IE installations when posted here. Got no idea what the issue is. Need to find out from other Dreamhost-hosted bloggers and see if it's me, Dreamhost, or something else.

Could be that I'm screwing up just because I'm sick.

Anyway, I have Headline News ready for later. But no idea about beyond that.

My Big Sister (who's 5'4'') promises a post for tomorrow that's a real lulu. Heh. You'll get that one later.

I've got a post ready for Friday. I thought about posting it today, but I might not be able to post anything then, so I'm keeping it in storage. You'll like it, though.

In the meantime, I'm going to grab a blanket and try to watch everything TiVo has queued up. If that fails, I'll crawl back in bed and turn it on the History channel. Unless TiVo has nothing but History Channel queued up. Then I'll watch ... heck, it don't matter. I'll just fall aslepp under the influence of drungsnsd . Ooops.

I thingk they are kicking in now. And it's too much trouble to go ack and bamke correcetions.

Hah. Now I'm getting amused. By this.

Y'all have fun. I'm heading for neverland now.

Well, Duh!

What American accent do you have?

Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Some Website thinks I've got a Southern accent. Heck, I could'a told ya that!

Anyway, it was fun. And thanks to Sean Gleeson for pointing this one out.

Zawahiri Christmas Greeting

Scott Ott (ScrappleFace) does it again.

If you're using IE, you might have a problem viewing the video on this page. Don't know why. Sorry.

Zucker Takes On the Iraq Study Group and James Baker

If you've seen it, you love it.

If you haven't seen it, you need to.

If you're using IE, you might have a problem with this page. Don't know why. Sorry.

You can also find the video at:

The Therapist

MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy

Theodore's World

Gateway Pundit

Daisy Cutter

among others.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Christmas Fruitcake Recipe

What with everyone getting all done up for the holidays and getting ito the Chrsi8tmas spirot, I thought it'd be a good thing for met o share my world famous fruitcake recipe.

Now, them folks over up in Claxton are rpoud of their fruitcakes. But you know what? those that's in the know drives all the wya over here for Cousin Red's Famous Fruitcakes.

I used to do these every year. But things happened and I ain't made one for a spell now. So, excuse me while I try to remember the recipe. In fact, I'm going to cook one up right now and rithw about at here.

Here's what you need:

a cup of water (from the tap, no bottled stuff)

a cup of Dixie Chrystals sugar

four large chicken eggs

two cups of dried fruit (you can find this at the Piggly Wiggly)

a teaspoon of Arm & Hammer baking soda

a teaspoon of Morton salt

a cup of brown sugar (brand don't matter(

lemon juice (you can use that ReaLemon stuff if you must)

nuts (I like pecans, but you can use walnuts)

a bottle of whiskey (whiskey may be replaced with your favorite adult beverage of choice. Don't use beer. Trust me.)

Directions:

Sample the whiskey to check for quality.

Take a large bowl.

Check the whiskey again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.

Make sure the whiskey is still okay. Cry another tup.

Turn off the mixer.

Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something.

Check the whiskey.

Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.

Grease the oven.

Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Throw the bowl out of the window, check the whiskey again and go to bed.

I'll finsh up tamorrow i thinnksdk........ jdfi ei jaea lfmenmk mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

more White Trash Wednesday

Agent Bedhead

Alabama Improper

And Rightly So!

basil's blog

BOBO BLOGGER

Dangerous Logic

Feisty Republican Whore

HECTOR VEX

It Is What It Is

Lost In Lima Ohio

Mean Ol' Meany

Merri Musings

MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy

Pennsylvanian in exile

Pirate's Cove

Public Figures

Riehl World View

Right Truth

Rightwingsparkle

Six Meat Buffet

Sortapundit

Stupid Random Thoughts

The Jawa Report

The Nose On Your Face

The Therapist

Vince Aut Morire

Headline News 2006-12-19

From ABC News:
'Bachelor Party' Actress, Tawny Kitaen, Enters Rehab
Got her usual room

From ABC News:
Woman Tells Cop She Bought 'Bad Crack'
Throw her in bad jail
From ABC News:
How to Eat Healthy at 30,000 Feet
Have them wear shoes

From ABC News:
W.Va. Couple Marry at Live Nativity
One married a sheep, the other a camel

From ABC News:
Leader: Episcopal Church Not Splintering
Have all decided to go to hell in a handbasket

From ABC News:
Texas Lawmaker Wants to Help the Blind Hunt
Roundup of the blind expected to be complete by week's end

From ABC News:
Turkish Airport Worker Fired for Camel Sacrifice
Must use Marlboro next time

From ABC News:
One Iraqi Family Copes With Killing
Really big family

From ABC News:
Iraq War Refugees Trapped in Limbo
Ask that bar be raised

From ABC News:
Hollywood film had rare access to Roman Coliseum
Director answered 'yes' to 'Do you like gladiator movies?'

Caption Contest

I couldn't pass up this image.

Use the comments to come up with the perfect caption.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Football

Did you ever play paper football at school?

You know, you'd take a sheet of notebook paper, fold it length-ways twice, then start in the corner, folding the corner up, then repeating the fold over and over until you had just a little piece to tuck in. Then you'd have your paper football.

We used to do that in school.

The slanted desks we had were all we had, sometimes. They were difficult, because the person playing "downhill" had to worry about hitting it too hard and the ball falling off. The person playing "uphill" needed to ensure he didn't spin the football too much, or it would slide back down.

The flat tables in the library were the best. When the librarian let us play, that is.

Oh, and some classrooms had flat tables or desks. And those were great for playing football.

Different rules could be applied. For example, with some, if you hit the football off the end of the table, your opponent could attempt a field goal. Others allowed field goals only if you didn't get the ball past mid-field. Some allowed two-point conversions. Others didn't. Some had goalposts that were index finger to index finger with thumbs as uprights. Others had thumb to thumb with index fingers as uprights. Little variations here and there.

Some (including me) got together and set up a league so everyone played under the same rules. They set up schedules so everyone played everyone. And then had playoffs. I never was one of the great players. I was okay, but not as good as others.

I was good at the field goals, though. I could hit the longest and straightest. I was the first to hit the ball out the top window from three rows away. Such an accomplishment, right?

Playing paper football was fun. But it's something that you don't really do once you're all grown up.

Well, it used to be that way.

You see, there's a local group of folks ... grown men, actually ... that are involved with a company that developed a Finger Football game. And no, I'm not one of them.

Zelosport is the name of the company, and some local fellows have a hit on their hands. They have licensed all 32 NFL teams, and so far, 3 college teams (Georgia, Auburn, and Alabama) with more coming.

Some men never grow up.

Thank goodness.

It's A Cookbook! It's A Cookbook!

A while back, my Big Sister (who's 5'4'') posted one of her favorite recipies here on this little blog. It's her recipie for her Cream Cheese Pound Cake.

Now, over the years, we've picked on her about her cooking. But in reality, she's a good cook. And I really like her cream cheese pound cake.

Turns out that Deborah Uhler of Eat Your History was inspired to collect some recipes of bloggers for a book she was compiling. And she asked my Big Sister (who's 5'4'') for permission to include it. And my sister agreed.

Well, doggone, if she didn't actually go ahead and publish the thing. It contains recipes from some of the best blogs on the Internet. And from this little blog, too.

She's selling it for $20.00 ... and no, neither me nor my Big Sister (who's 5'4'') gets a cut of the proceeds.

Hmmm. Imagine that. I start this little blog and it's my sister who gets something posted here published.

Congrats, sis.

And congrats to Deborah.

Headline News 2006-12-18

From ABC News:
Canceled O.J. Simpson Book Could Spark Suit
Suit could be blood-stained, just like O.J.'s

From ABC News:
Anti-HIV 'Molecular Condom' In the Works
For the man with a really small penis

From ABC News:
Nigerian E-mail Scams Continues, After Being Exposed
Why gun laws don't work

From ABC News:
Cuban Officals Say Castro Will Return
Dr. Frankenstein consulted

From ABC News:
Atlantic Records Founder Ertegun Buried in Turkey
Left over from Thanksgiving

From ABC News:
Paparazzi Sues Celeb Blogger for $7.6M
Suit says only celebrities can be abused, not celebrity stalkers

From ABC News:
Rare White Dolphin Declared As Extinct
Still rare

From ABC News:
Collector Pays $2.3M for $1,000 Bill
People lining up to ask him for change for a dollar

From ABC News:
W.Va. Man Drives Oldsmobile on 3 Tires
Only man in West Virginia with three tires

From ABC News:
Scottish Troops Must Share Scarce Kilts
Commander: "After all, there's room for two"

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Friday, December 15, 2006

Headline News 2006-12-15

From WRTV:
Purse snatcher targets women in parking lots
Targeting men didn't pay off

From KPRC:
Police seek two bank robbers
Have two banks that need robbing

From KETV:
No liquor license for restaurant near drug center
Drugs, prostitutes still available

From CNN:
N.M. governor to host nuke talks with North Koreans
New Mexico offers to abandon nuclear program

From CNN:
Ignoring Bush policy, senator meets Syrian president
Wants to personally thank him for his support

From CNN:
Handyman charged with killing lawyer, wife
Talents that can come in handy

From CNN:
Christian video game stokes controversy
Muslims beheading Americans still okay

From CNN:
First flyers may have been squirrels
Tiny squirrel airplane found at Kitty Hawk

From CNN:
NASA won't put price tag on moon base
Don't know how many zeros are in "one zillion"

From CNN:
Ono's driver arrested for threatening to kill her
Demands she quit singing

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Grandmama Lavender's Icebox Fruitcake

Here's a real fruitcake recipe. It's my grandmother's no-bake fruitcake. And it's delicious.

Ingredients

One box (approx. 12 oz.) of vanilla wafers

One pound of candied cherries (red and/or green)

One can (approx. 14 oz.) sweetened condensed milk (not evaporated milk)

One cup raisins

One cup coconut

One cup pecans

Directions

Finely crush vanilla wafers. A food processor works great!

In a large bowl, add the vanilla wafers, sweetened condensed milk.

Hand mix until wafers are moistened.

Add remaining ingredients.

Mix well by hand.

Press mixture into a buttered tube pan.

Cover

Refrigerate overnight, until firm.

Keep it refrigerated, as it will spoil. This isn't your traditional fruitcake. It's so, so much better!

Headline News 2006-12-14

From CNN:
Executed killer took 34 minutes to die
No one cares how long it took Joseph Nagy to die

From CNN:
Rescuer: We've hit brick wall in climber search
Still insists, "we don't need no education"

From CNN:
Intelligence oversight, ethics top Democrats' agenda
Next priority, find a Democrat with intelligence and ethics

From CNN:
Bush taking time on Iraq strategy
Promises plan by January 20, 2009

From CNN:
Holiday spirit burns brightly in Santa Fe
Manger scenes, Christmas trees being burned

From CNN:
Harvard drops religion course requirement
Islamic studies still required

From CNN:
Diana: No murder, no pregnancy
Report concludes, "just another blonde who never held a real job"

From WPXI:
Police hunt truck thief in zoo
Zookeeper: 'In hindsight, teaching chimps to drive was bad idea'

From KERO:
Police focus on downtown burglaries
Suburban burglars get good news in time for Christmas

From KCRA:
Police seek vandals
Limited job openings now available

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Handling Loss

In Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, one of the opening sequences has Adm. Kirk talking Lt. Saavik about a test she had just been through. It was the scenario involving a ship (the Kobayashi Maru) in distress. It was a no-win situation.

Kirk told Saavik that "how we deal with death is at least as important as how we deal with life."

The irony is that Kirk had never faced the scenario.

Unlike characters in a movie, we have to deal with death. I'll leave it to the philosophers to determine if how we deal with death is as important as how we deal with life. Although I think it is.

As a child, I knew all four of my grandparents. And two of my great-grandparents (my mother's mother's parents). I obviously knew more, since I've seen a picture of me sitting on the knee of another great-grandparent (my father's father's father). But I don't remember him, or his passing.

The first death in the family I recall was my great-grandfather (my mother's mother's father). He died in 1967.

My sisters all cried when "Pa" (as we called him) died. I didn't. Because I didn't believe he was dead. I was in denial.

I eventually came to realize that it was true. Pa was gone.

The next family member I remember losing was my grandfather (my father's father), "Granddaddy," who died about six months later, in early 1968.

I didn't like that old man. He was mean. Really mean. Probably because he had a hard life. He had one leg. One eye. One thumb. And a damaged back (broken earlier in life). No, his nickname wasn't "Lucky."

He had it rough. And was rough. I remember wishing he'd just die.

One day, he did.

I cried.

Not sure if it was from loss, or guilt, or what. But we all got home from school one day and were told Granddaddy was dead. We all cried.

No other close family member died until my great-grandmother (my mother's mother's mother), "Ma," died in 1976. I was nearly grown, and dealt with the loss not as a child, but as an almost grown-up. I didn't cry. But I mourned.

Three years later, I lost another grandfather (my mother's father), "Papa." He had been in poor health for a bit. Heart problems. So it wasn't completely unexpected. But he had been over at the house the weekend prior.

In 1992, I lost another grandparent. My father's mother, "Granny," passed away. She had been in poor health for a bit. Heart problems and diabetes.

It was odd watching her lifestyle change. Granny had been the one who you'd give a wheelbarrow for Mother's Day. Really.

She'd be outside digging stumps, hoeing her garden, killing snakes, and just living the life of a southern woman who grew up in "hard times," as she called it.

Granny's passing left me with one grandparent. My mother's mother, "Grandma," is still living. She's old, and a little bit frail, but still able to get around. Her hearing's not as good as it used to be. Her eyesight's had problems lately. And it hurts a little bit to stand. Or sit. Just part of being 93, I guess.

What brought all this up?

Well, my oldest granddaughter lost her "Granny" last night. Her father's mother took ill suddenly, was admitted to the hospital this past weekend, and died last night.

Two weeks ago, she lost a great-grandparent. Her father's father's father died. And she was really upset at that funeral.

Now, she's seven years old and facing her second funeral in two weeks.

Her mother is concerned about how to deal with it all. And she planned to tell her about her Granny's passing when she got home last night.

How we deal with death is as important as how we deal with life.

It's true. And it's a shame that children must face that fact.

Headline News 2006-12-13

From ABC News:
Teacher Suspended for Painting With His Privates
Painting with sergeants still allowed

From ABC News:
Seattle Bridge a Grim Spot for Suicide Jumpers
Residents demand happier spot for suicides

From ABC News:
Weapon Makes Targets Feel Like They're Melting
Wal-Mart gun deployed

From ABC News:
'Girls Gone Wild' Founder Sentenced for Filming Girls Under 18
'Inmates Gone Wild' videos debut in January

From ABC News:
7-Foot Python Is Found in Toilet Bowl
Wife yells at husband, "I told you to flush twice!"

From ABC News:
Dinner With La. Gov. Goes $1 at Auction
Two-bit governor now eight bits

From ABC News:
Pit Bull Puppy Gnaws Off Baby's Toes
Democrats blame Bush

From ABC News:
N.J. Cops Find Beheaded Chickens, Birds
Al-Cluckda claims credit

From ABC News:
Wild Pigs Menace U.S., Whet Appetites in Europe
Dixie Chicks tour continues

From ABC News:
Kerry to Meet Soldiers, Leaders in Iraq
Part of Senator's new 'know your enemy' policy

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Spam Eagle!

I really like my spam filters. Akismet and Spam Karma. They work well.

But, I'm often amazed at the spammers. And yesterday, I got a couple that made me shake my head in wonder. For a couple of reasons.

First, be aware that WordPress with Akismet shows spam in reverse order. That is, the most recent at the top. Which, of course, means the older at the bottom.

Check out what arrived yesterday.

First (the one on the bottom) was a spam ad for Viagra.

Next, a spam for a rape porn video.

I'm assuming the target audience was the impotent rapist?

Then I noticed the URL associated with each.

It's from Auburn.

Yeah, the place that "Bear" Bryant once called "that East Alabama Cow College."

Auburn University. Just up the road.

Now, there's no guarantee that the spammer was actually associated with Auburn. But, as you can tell from the ad, they were wanting someone to click on a site that sits on the Auburn servers.

The IP addresses aren't from Auburn. One returns that it's owned by "OCN Provided By NTT-Communications which is ISP in Chiyoda-ku, Tokyo, Japan" while the other returns info that it belongs to "Schlund + Partner AG" from Germany.

Japan and Germany.

Japan and Germany?

World War II still going on? Only using spam instead of Buzz Bombs and Zeros?

Still, I wonder what's up with using an Auburn address. I wondered if the site actually existed. Or if I'd get a "404" (not found) error.

So, I tried it. Got a "not authorized" response. Which indicates the URL might be valid. Or part of the parent path, anyway.

If they'd put this much effort into their football team, they'd be playing Ohio State instead of Florida.

Headline News 2006-12-12

From CNN:
Experts: Hackers to step up 'cyberwar'
Democrats pronounce cyberwar 'lost,' urge pullout

From CNN:
Ohio's Kucinich announces Oval Office bid
Wants Lyndon LaRouche's job

From CNN:
Green Lantern creator dead at 91
Power ring finally gave out

From CNN:
U.S. agency: We did not target Princess Diana
Death called 'lucky accident'

From CNN:
Booed tenor treated 'like monster'
Throws girl in well, climbs windmill

From WTAE:
Judge dismisses teen's meowing charges
Accused of acting like a pussy

From KERO:
Brush fire covers 5,000 acres
Combs considered safer

From KPRC:
Teen gets 90-year sentence in sodomy attack
Will get all the sodomy he wants

From KPRC:
Plane makes belly landing at airport
Will try cannonball next

From KMGH:
Parents upset over peanut segregation in lunchroom
Tennessee Red, White seek joint seating

Monday, December 11, 2006

Sears Auto … They Sure Oughta …

The car needed an oil change. So the Wife and I took it to Sears on Saturday.

What was I thinking?

Now, to be fair, we'd had car work done at Sears before. Got a set of Michelins from there. And they've done oil changes for us before.

And since we'd been there before, and since there was a movie we wanted to see playing at the theatre next door, and since the Wife wanted to pick some things up from Sears, and since we were hungry and Chili's is close by ... we went to Sears.

After we left Chili's, we pulled into the Sears Auto Center lot, then walked inside to open a ticket.

The guy asked me my information, located me in the computer, printed the work order out, and went to work.

Last time we got the oil changed, I gave them my cell phone number in case they needed to contact me about a problem.

Silly me, I thought since I previously gave them my cell number, they would have my cell number. What was I thinking?!

After we got back from the movie (Deja Vu, which I might review for you later), I found the car still in the bay.

Turns out they ran into a small problem. Had to do with the coolant. They had to ask me if I wanted it flushed. And they didn't call me.

Actually, they called my home phone. Only, I wasn't at home. They number they had for me said "home phone" ... which indicates it was my home phone. And they called my home phone.

The home I couldn't get to ... because they had my car in the shop.

They did not call my cell phone.

I asked them whey they didn't call my cell.

They didn't have it, they said.

"I gave it to y'all last time I got the oil changed," I said.

And he showed me in the computer where they didn't have a number.

"Well, if I was in charge of running that keyboard, I'd have put it in. But I'm not. And I thought when I gave it last time, the person running that keyboard might have used it," was my response.

To his credit, he did put it in at that time. Which means next time I'm there, they'll have my cell number.

Now I got to decide about getting the coolant flushed. And if I want to deal with Sears Auto to do it.

Heck, it's Christmastime. Why not.

Headline News 2006-12-11

From ABC News:
Mom Says Talking Doll Called Daughter 'a Slut'
Insists she's actually a whore: "She gets paid every time"

From ABC News:
McDonald's Employee's Workplace Ordeal
Constant question: "What was Obama like to work with?"

From ABC News:
'Peace Mom' Convicted of Trespassing
Charges include getting on people's nerves

From ABC News:
NYC Case of Taco Bell E. Coli Confirmed
Originally thought illness was normal, post-Taco Bell illness

From ABC News:
Scientist Examines City Squirrels' Lives
New HBO series, "Sex and the City and the Squirrels" debuts in August

From ABC News:
Prince to Entertain at Super Bowl
Has already perfected wardrobe malfunction

From ABC News:
Police Question Singer Doherty on Party Death
Cops want to know why parties die when he shows up

From ABC News:
School Shuns Tech, Teaches Fountain Pen
Tech disappointed, bans fountain pens from Gator Bowl

From ABC News:
11-Year-Old Delivers Baby Cousin
Felt it was duty, since he was also father

From ABC News:
Woman Allegedly Steals to Impress Beau
Beau not impressed, Jeff Bridges tells woman "Call me"

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Gum Branch

I was worried that Gum Branch was gone. Because in the eyes of the wizards running the state of Georgia Department of Transportation, lots of little towns and communities needed to be removed for the map.

You see, they've released a new official map for the state of Georgia, and lots of little towns and communities are not there. And, depending on the news source you check, they've deleted from 488 to 519 places from the map.

And it looks like they actually did this back in June. At least, that's when the DOT announced [PDF] the new maps were produced. But, the electronic (online) versions of the maps are dated December 6, and the June announcement mentioned nothing about the deletions.

Why does this matter?

Well, it depends on where you live. If you live in one of the larger cities in Georgia ... or in another state ... it might not mean much to you at all.

But if you live in a small town, it might make a difference to you.

For example, let's consider Gum Branch.

You can still find it on Yahoo! Maps. And on Mapquest. And, despite some news reports, it's still on the state map. Unlike Midland, Upatoi, Ellerslie, Po Biddy Crossing, Westville, and others. Different news reports listed different places that are gone from the map.

I'm glad Gum Branch made the cut. That area has some memories for me.

For instance, my great-grandparents lived in the Gum Branch area. In a little log cabin. We used to go there about once a month on Sunday after church.

Ma and Pa -- that's what we called our mother's mother's parents -- would have the family over. Or much of the family. I don't think everyone showed but a time or two. But we'd make the trip to Gum Branch to the little log cabin and eat Sunday dinner.

Ma cooked it on her wood-burning stove. And we sat in the dining room that was built on to the back of the cabin, and ate until we were full ... or tired.

I don't recall what all we had, but there was usually chicken involved. Sometimes, we children would sneak a peek at the cooks (Ma, or one of her three daughters, or one of the other women in the family, usually) chasing a chicken around the yard, then doing the whole wringing of the neck and using of the hatchet and such, that was necessary to put a chicken dinner on the table.

We'd have sausage, too. But we never snuck a peek at that process.

Ma would cook biscuits. And we'd have "Happy Young'Uns" syrup. Actually, the brand was "Happy Kids" but Pa wouldn't call it that, because "a kid is a goat, not a young'un." And we'd eat syrup and biscuits.

And whatever vegetables Ma had cooked. And cornbread. And all the southern cooking we could eat.

The cabin's no longer there. But the memories remain.

And so does Gum Branch.

But for some people, the places that hold memories no longer exist.

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