MST3K: Episode 820 - Space Mutiny

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 820: Space Mutiny

First aired: Sci-Fi Channel on 7 November 1997
Availability: Amazon DVD (Volume 4), Rhino (Volume 4/out of print)

Not your regular mutiny.

It's hard to pick out what Mike & the Bots found most unbelievable about Space Mutiny.

There's the character that's killed off, then shows up back at work in the very next scene.

There's the slow-moving chase scenes involving floor buffers.

There's Cameron Mitchell looking like Santa Claus.

But, it seemed to be the leading lady in this film. They seemed to think she was much older than the leading man. Turns out the actors are married. They met on the set of this film and hit it off.

Reb and Cisse go at it.

The lead actress, Cisse Cameron wasn't the 20-something her character seemed to be. She was likely pushing 40. The movie was released in 1988, some 17 years after her first film. That likely puts her in her late 30s or possibly early 40s.

The male lead, Reb Brown, was born in 1948. His first movie role wasn't until 1973. He played college football at Southern California, worked as a sheriff's deputy, and boxed professionally. So, his not having a role until two years after Cisse Cameron doesn't mean he was two years younger. I figure they were the same age, or he was slightly older.

Now, he didn't look it. She actually looked older, although I thought she looked pretty good in the film. It wasn't that she looked older than she was, it's that he looked younger than he was.

Santa, the captain, the dead girl, and Big McLargehuge.

All that to say that the riffing on Cisse Cameron's age was a little unfair, since they didn't riff on Reb Brown's age.

Then, again, whoever said the MST3K crew was ever fair?

Now, don't get the idea that I'm trying to defend this movie. I'm not. It's a bad, bad film. A wicked, bad, naughty film. And, it deserves to be punished.

Why? I'll tell you why.

A bunch of folks are wandering around the universe in a bunch of warehouses that look like Battlestar Galactica ships from the outside, so Pygar from Barbarella: Queen of the Galaxy and some dude that kinda looks like David Bowie used to look decide to mutiny, equipping their security forces with floor buffers, but not teaching them to avoid falling over railings, and there are some dancing girls who seem to be important for some reason, plus there's a girl that won't stay dead and keeps showing up for work, and anyway, despite hating each other, the two love interests end up falling in love and saving the ship and everybody lives happily ever after except for all the dead people. The end.

Bobo knocks over a lamp.

Other than the riffing on Cisse Cameron's age -- I thought that was a little unfair -- I really enjoyed M&tB taking this movie apart. And the list of names for Reb Brown's character? You can find lists of them on the Internet, so I won't go into all of them here. But my personal favorite? Bob Johnson.

The season-long arc of the endless chase all across the universe finally leaves ancient Rome. Though I just didn't really get into them, the way they worked out the destruction of those places was kinda clever. Bobo heading back to grab the cheese and accidentally knocking over a lamp, starting the fire that burned ancient Rome was kinda funny. At least they won't be able to blame that one on Mike.

Kind of a lame movie, but an okay episode.

And, yes, I got the t-shirt.

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MST3K: Episode 819 - Invasion of the Neptune Men

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 819: Invasion of the Neptune Men

First aired: Sci-Fi Channel on 11 October 1997
Availability: MST3KVideos.com fan copy

Not to be confused with any other film.

There's no connection between this episode and Episode 816: Prince of Space, but it sorta seems like there should be.

There is the idea of aliens looking to take over the earth and some lonely bachelor who's really a space hero defeating the bad guys, so there's that.

The same company made the two films; Prince of Space was made two years before Invasion of the Neptune Men.

Though the films aren't related, you can find them together in a Prince of Space/Invasion of the Neptune Men 2-movie DVD pack.

Oh noes! They be blowing up the Hitler Building!

Oh, and there's one other connection. The villain from Prince of Space shows up in one of the Host Segments. They don't really explain why, but it works.

So, what about this actual movie?

A bunch of aliens who move in slow motion and dress up as suppositories invade the earth, but a bachelor scientist dresses up as Space Chief and drives his little flying space car to the rescue and runs the aliens off but they come back and he runs them off again and they come back and Space Chief runs them off again, and then the aliens blow up the Hitler Building and a big dogfight ensues and Space Chief runs them off for good, making the world safe, except for all the Japanese kids in funny shorts that have free run of all kinds of top military and government installations. The end.

The spaceship that's most like mother herself.

"Come on guys, has anybody seen my record?"

This isn't the worst movie that's come out of Japan. The plot is similar to that of Prince of Space, as mentioned, but it has one little thing that's ... well, just not quite right. This is a kids movie, and, rather than build some models to blow up as part of the space aliens' attack, they used actual war footage. World War II footage. Which includes a brief shot of what M&tB called "The Hitler Building."

There are some funny moments in the Host Segments. I'm not a fan of the Ancient Rome storyline, but at least they are moving it along, setting up an ending to it.

Mike prefers Noh theater to Kabuki theater.

Krankor shows up, much to the delight of M&tB.

And, somewhere, Abbott and Costello are smiling over Mike's screwing with the robots about Noh theater.

Despite the tasteless usage of war footage, it is mostly watchable. Mostly. It does drag in some places, but M&tB more than make up for it.

Oh, one other thing I'm not clear on. This movie, though made by the same company that made Prince of Space, hasn't been released on video. Prince of Space has.

Maybe the Hitler family is holding it up.

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MST3K: Episode 818 - Devil Doll

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 818: Devil Doll

First aired: Sci-Fi Channel on 4 October 1997
Availability: iTunes, Amazon Instant Video, Amazon DVD (Volume 19), Shout Factory (Volume 19), Best Brains (Volume 19)

Hair styles by Shemp Howard.

Because of various rights issues, some episodes of MST3K haven't been released on video. But, a lot have.

Some are released on physical media (DVD, or, formerly, VHS) and some are electronic media (streaming). Usually both. Every now and then you'll find one that's only on DVD and not available streaming. I can't think of one that's available streaming, but not DVD. Pretty sure there aren't any.

Those available streaming can usually be found on iTunes, Amazon Instant Video, or, most often, both.

It's frustrating when there's a really great episode that's not available in any format.

Butt Lady assists Vorelli.

Almost as frustrating is an episode that's available in every conceivable format ... and it's not a fun episode.

That's this episode.

Don't know what it is. Maybe the whole "ventriloquist dummy is alive" thing that I don't care for. It's been done. Many times.

Twilight Zone did it. Tales from the Crypt did it. There have been several movies that have done it.

To be fair, Devil Doll is one of the earlier efforts, but I saw many of the others first. That kind of clouds my perspective.

"Kubrick saw this seen and said, 'We've found out Heywood Floyd!'"

Even if I had seen it earlier, I doubt I would have liked it. It seems as if it would be able to stand alone -- that is, without Mike & the Bots -- but I don't want any part of that.

It's just a shame, to me anyway, that this episode is available on video when so many better episodes aren't.

What's it all about? Glad you asked.

The Great Vorelli is a ventriloquist with a creepy dummy named Hugo that looks kinda like Shemp Howard, and an assistant who keeps forgetting her pants, and his act consists of he and Hugo bickering and threatening each other, which the audience seems to just love for some reason, plus he's a hypnotist who uses his powers to make Heywood Floyd's hot girlfriend fall in love with him, which ticks off Heywood Floyd, who discovers that Hugo used to be a real person who was part of Vorelli's act in post-war Germany, but Vorelli killed him as part of the act, which the Germans were apparently okay with since he didn't go to prison or anything, only Vorelli put Hugo's soul into a dummy, which was apparently a setup for his master plan to hypnotize some hot rich chick to fall in love with him, marry him, then he'd put her into a dummy and kill the person her, and inherit all her money, but Hugo doesn't like the idea, and neither does Heywood Floyd, so Hugo attacks Vorelli and swaps places with him. The end.

Heywood Floyd's rich girlfriend.

See? Kind of a weird movie. I even left out the part about where Vorelli said he wouldn't let Hugo have any ham. I also left out the part where Hugo stabbed the Butt Lady to death because he was mad at Vorelli for sleeping with her or something.

I also didn't ask about why Vorelli would plot to put the hot rich girl in a ventriloquist dummy before he killed her instead of just killing her. I mean, after having killed one assistant in his act, for which he served no time, wouldn't you think authorities might get suspicious if another "accident" on stage took someone else out?

Oh, well. If it was a good movie, then MST3K wouldn't have bothered with it.

No thanks, First Amendment.

There are some good riffs in this episode. Just not enough to make this one a good episode, in my mind.

The Host Segments feature Pitch trying to sell Crow some Devil Dolls and offering to teach Crow how to transfer souls, which Mike doesn't tolerate.

It's an okay episode, but not one I'm looking forward to seeing again. I've seen it before (plus, I own the DVD and the electronic version), and when I came to it as part of this "watch 'em all in order" project, I wasn't excited about it.

Maybe I'm being a little harsh about this episode. I just know what I like. And don't like.

Oh, one other thing. In the end credits, they didn't thank the Authors of the First Amendment. Don't know why. And, I'll be watching to see if they return that to the credits (hint: they don't).

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MST3K: Episode 817 - The Horror of Party Beach

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 817: The Horror of Party Beach

First aired: Sci-Fi Channel on 6 September 1997
Availability: MST3KVideos.com fan copy

Oh, the horror!

Remember Episode 812: The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies?

Sure you do.

Oh, I understand that you'd like to forget it, but you can't. You can never unsee that movie.

Well, anyway, The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies billed itself as "The First Monster Musical." So what?

So, The Horror of Party Beach billed itself as "The First Horror Monster Musical."

The horror wasn't always at the beach.

Either one of them is lying, or the addition of the word "horror" in this film's advertising makes all the difference.

The truth of the matter is, both were lying. Neither is a musical. Oh, sure, there are some songs, but in a musical, the leads sing as part of the narrative. Think The Music Man. Now that is a musical!

This movie? Not so much. The characters listen to the radio and watch a band perform, but it's no more a musical than American Graffiti is a musical. Or Animal House.

Come to think of it, it would be much better to watch Animal House or American Graffiti again that it would be to see The Horror of Party Beach. With or without robot friends.

Maybe the horror was all the bad dancing.

But, I did watch The Horror of Party Beach. At least, I watched the MST3K version, which is, at least, tolerable.

A bunch of boat people dump barrels of some kind of toxic food coloring or something over the side of the boat which makes a bunch of pirate skeletons turn into fish-monster that looks like it has a mouth full of hot dogs, all the while some dude and his tramp girlfriend go dancing on the beach, but a bunch of bikers show up and she flirts and he gets all pissed, and there's a fight, and the girl swims off and gets eaten by the Oscar Meyer-mouthed fish monster, who now have the taste for human blood, or at least, scantily-clad chick blood, so they invade a slumber party and eat a bunch of girls (and not in a good way), which upsets the authorities so much that, within weeks, they decide to sprinkle sodium on the fish-monsters which makes them burn up, and all the slumber parties are safe from fish-monsters forever more. The end.

Observer and Callipygeas bond. Pearl and Flavia, not so much.

Yes, it's about as lame as it sounds. The riffing is pretty good, though. The MST3K crew was back up so speed by this time -- there was some getting used to Bill, but that really didn't take long at all -- so that a fair episode was really as good as any from the Joel or early Mike years. Better than some.

I'm not doing a good job of conveying that, while I can't say that with the cast change, MST3K didn't miss a beat, it wasn't long before they were chugging along as if it was as it ever was.

The Host Segments of the season-long arc of Pearl chasing Mike & the Bots all across the universe has landed Pearl, Bobo, and Observer in ancient Rome. I don't recall how long this lasts. Something about an ongoing storyline in the Host Segments just never set right with me.

Beach fight!

I always liked the self-contained episodes where you really didn't have to watch them in order to get what was going on.

Sure, the way it was done the first year on Sci-Fi was fine if you watched them in the order they aired, but it wasn't the way things had been done in the past, and added a complication that, with episodes being released on video without any kind of order, it doesn't work well.

Still, I'm enjoying the interaction between Pearl and Flavia. Since most of Season Eight hasn't been released on video, until I got the fan copies of the 13 unreleased episodes from that season, I hadn't seen those in a decade or more.

I'm enjoying them. This episode does contribute to that. It's good.

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MST3K: Episode 816 - Prince of Space

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 816: Prince of Space

First aired: Sci-Fi Channel on 16 August 1997
Availability: Amazon (Volume 7/out of print), Rhino (Volume 7/out of print), Best Brains (Volume 7)

Weapons are powerless against him.

Ah, another one of the classics.

Now, I'm not a big fan of the Japanese horror movies or the Japanese science fiction movies. I've previously expressed how much I didn't care for the Gamera movies. The Japanese sci-fi movies, though, I haven't talked much about.

When I was younger, I thought they were kinds cheesy and cheap.

Now, keep in mind that the giant ant, spider, and grasshopper movies were just fine for me. But, the Japanese sci-fi movies just weren't something I cared for. The main thing was the whole exaggerated hand and arm movements when the heroes or villains would talk. Often, they'd wear masks and you couldn't see there faces, or at least, their mouths. So, they'd exaggerate their hand/arm movements.

Our hero.

Kinda silly, I thought.

This movie wasn't one of those kind. The hero and villains -- at least, the main hero and the main villain -- had visible, or mostly visible, faces. So, they didn't exaggerate as much with the arm and hand movements.

On the other hand, I don't remember ever seeing Prince of Space as a child. First time I saw it was as part of the MST3K universe. So, maybe that contributed to why it didn't give me the same adverse reaction as the other Japanese sci-fi or horror movies.

Our villain.

But then, I don't remember seeing Gamera as a child -- I saw some other Big Japanese Monster films and didn't care for them -- so my not liking that came as an adult.

While this movie is a bit silly, like all the Japanese sci-fi movies of the time, it didn't repel me like the others.

Having said that, it's a bad film. But a watchably bad film.

A bunch of baddies from the planet Krankor invade earth, but are driven away by Prince of Space (their weapons are powerless against him), who's really a shoeshine boy, kinda like Underdog but without all the fleas, but the Krankor Baddies sneak back to try again when Prince of Space isn't looking, and discover that Shoeshine Boy is really Prince of Space, but Prince of Space foils them again because their weapons are powerless against him, but then they kidnap some scientists and decide to shoot them all out into space, but Prince of Space flies to Krankor's base, fights the giant Ferengi, and rescues everybody since the Krankor Baddies are unable to stop him because their weapons are powerless against him. The end.

The giant Ferengi-looking monster is ready to pump ... you up!

Silly film. Never explained why Shoeshine Boy had a space ship and fancy space duds to wear. Never explained exactly why the Krankor weapons were powerless against him, although they did point out a time or two that the Krankor weapons were powerless against him.

Like I said, silly film, but whatchably so. The Host Segments were a little weird. They had Pearl and her crew, along with the Satellite of Love, go through a wormhole. Mike becomes a robot, the Satellite of Love becomes a lovely landscape, and, in one of the best Host Segments ever, time shifts for Mike & the Bots.

That first Host Segment in the wormhole has three conversations going on at the same time, but in different timelines. So, one asks a question, and the other answers a question that hasn't been asked yet, then that question is asked, but the third timeline person chips in, and ... okay, it was funny. Leave it at that.

This episode? I like it very much!

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MST3K: Episode 815 - Agent for H.A.R.M.

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 815: Agent for H.A.R.M.

First aired: Sci-Fi Channel on 2 August 1997
Availability: MST3KVideos.com fan copy

No harm, no foul? Well, foul.

I've used the phrase "a forgettable film" to describe some of the movies I've seen.

Oh, I'm not just talking about movies I've seen as part of MST3K that have been covered here, but in everyday life. I've seen movies that I've described to others as "forgettable."

This is one of those. I've forgotten most of it.

The riffing was pretty good. Or, let me say, it seemed pretty good at the time. But right now, I'm having a hard time remembering much about it.

Mark Richman cops a feel.

So, not only is the movie forgettable, its forgettability is contagious.

And that's a little aggravating to me. Usually, when I go to do these little write-ups of the episode of MST3K, I can remember all about it. But now, I'm going to have to look at parts of it again in order to remind me about it.

Since I seem to recall enjoying the episode, that might not be a bad thing. But, it does indicate one things: it's forgettable.

The star of the movie isn't really forgettable. Mark Richman has been in about 8,000 TV shows and movies in his career. Okay, maybe just hundreds of appearances.

Mike is on trial.

Richman has played the villain a lot -- most of the time, in fact -- but in real life is supposed to be a super-nice guy. He's been married to the same woman since 1953 -- a rarity in Hollywood. But, he's not really a James Bond or Napoleon Solo type. He does play a good villain, though. Or an everyday kind of hero.

You've seen in him stuff, you know his face, and you'd likely agree that he's a good actor. But, usually, he's a villain.

In this film, though, he's the hero: a secret agent with a lot of sci-fi kind of gadgets. Not his best role.

A scientist escapes from behind the Iron Curtain with a spore gun that turns people into jelly, so Agent For H.A.R.M. Mark Richman is sent to help crack the case, which he does by flirting with the scientist's niece whose not really his niece but a Commie agent, but Agent For H.A.R.M. Mark Richman figures it all out, kills a few bad guys along the way, and kisses the girl before he turns her over to the authorities. Or something. The end.

Our Hero at work.

Totally forgettable movie. I read somewhere that this was originally going to be a TV movie pilot for a TV show, but then they decided to release it to the theaters instead. Whether that's because they couldn't get a sponsor for the show, or if the producers were really evil and wanted people in the 1960s to pay good money to see a bad film, I don't know. Either way, it never made it to series and never spawned a sequel.

The host segments were pretty good. Mike is put on trial for the destruction of three planets. Which is kinda unfair, because it was the bomb-worshippers that blew up the Planet of the Apes, although Mike did help a little, and it was the Nanites that blew up Observer's planet, although it was Mike gave the order -- though he didn't intend them to go to that extreme to carry it out. Planet Campsite, though? Yeah, that's kinda on Mike. Although, destroying the planet wasn't what he had in mind.

Anyway, Mike's on trial. Kinda like that episode of Lost in Space where a bunch of aliens put the Robinsons on trial, although Dr. Smith is the only one convicted. And, yes, it just a coincidence that Mark Richman would have been great as Dr. Smith's smarter, eviler brother.

Anyway, Bobo is every white-suited southern lawyer you've ever seen in his defense of Mike, and, of course, Mike is convicted and sentenced to death. Being a likeable fellow, the sentence is commuted to community service.

Totally forgettable movie, but some good riffing. Funny host segments.

Despite the fact that the movie didn't stay with me, it's an overall good episode.

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MST3K: Episode 814 - Riding with Death

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 814: Riding with Death

First aired: Sci-Fi Channel on 19 July 1997
Availability: MST3KVideos.com fan copy

Starring Ben Murphy.

Hey, remember that TV show with Ben Murphy where he was invisible and such?

Sure you do. It was called Gemini Man, and it was Ben Murphy's first series after Alias Smith and Jones went off.

Oh, wait. There was Griff, with Lorne Greene. Ben Murphy was in that. So, his second then. But, I don't think they aired all the episodes of Gemini Man before they canceled it. So, maybe not even his second, since only half the episodes aired.

You remember the show then, right?

No?

Katherine Crawford's biggest part.

That's okay. I kinda don't remember it, either. I mean, I sorta think I remember it. Like I remember it was on and maybe read it about in the Fall Preview issue of TV Guide that year. But I didn't watch it. I'm not sure when it aired, but I was probably working that night. It was the fall of 1976, and I was working nights then.

So, I have an excuse for not watching it. You? If you were around then, the only excuse you'd have would be that it was a bad show and you didn't want to waste your time watching a bad show.

Come to think of it, your excuse is better than mine. I want to use yours. The whole plot of the show is bad, so it's no wonder it was canceled.

Ed Nelson is the villain.

However, the entertainment industry being what it is, they didn't let a silly thing like a bad TV show that the network wouldn't even air all its episodes keep them from realize there was an audience out there, whether there was an audience out there or not. If you follow me.

So, they took a couple of episodes that had the same guest star, who was a singer that had some hits in the 1970s, patched them together with a little bit of additional dialog dubbed in to create a kind of continuity, gave it a different title, and they had them a hit movie.

Except, well, it wasn't really a hit. It wasn't really good. In fact, it was bad.

How bad? Bad enough to be used as fodder for MST3K.

It's the '70s. Which means Jim Stafford and a CB radio.

The singer they used? Jim Stafford.

Which makes a lot of sense, since he's a comic country singer, and nothing says science-fiction secret agent guest star quite like comic country singer. Really. Nothing.

I can't fault Jim Stafford, though. He had a few cross-over hits -- including Swamp Witch, Spiders and Snakes, My Girl Bill, Wildwood Weed -- in the 1970s, but never had a major country music hit. Anyway, he makes more sense in the guest role than, say, Ray Stevens.

Anyway, about the movie.

Bill wrote a song or two.

Ben Murphy had an accident and can turn invisible because his watch changes his DNA or something, but he can't stay invisible too long or he'll get stuck like that, so he becomes a secret agent working for Heywood Floyd from 2001 who suddenly grows a mustache in the middle of things, and gets help from Miss Camel Toe and over-the-road trucker Jim Stafford when transporting a secret formula 2000 miles across southern California, only the scientist is sabotaging the mission and wants to blow stuff up, but they figure it all out and stop him, but there's still an hour left, so Ben Murphy gets a job trying to catch a Ed Nelson who wants to blow up a race car that Jim Stafford is driving, but Jim Stafford's girlfriend is in on the plot, but they manage to save the day by turning invisible for 20 seconds and Jim Stafford moves to Branson and lives happily ever after. The end.

Bad movie. Good riffing. And some fun songs in the Host Segments. Bill Corbett offered up his first few songs, and they were great.

A good, fun episode.

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