Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Invisible flying pinch bugs

I mentioned recently about stopping for gas and an unusual encounter at the pump. There were actually two unusual encounters.

When I got out of the car, there was a large bug on the ground. I don't know what it was. It was kinda like a North American Stag Beetle, but it was the color of the concrete, and the mandibles were very wide. Really wide. I could see it, but it didn't stand out. Kinda blended in. Hard to see. So, nothing like a North American Stag Beetle. Except for being a large bug. With huge mandibles.

Well, I stepped over the bug and closed the door, then proceeded to gas up. You already know how that went.

When I finished, got my receipt, pocketed it, and stepped back to the door, I didn't see the large bug. Good. Or, so I thought.

During the next 15 minutes or so, I mulled over if I had done the right thing regarding the praying panhandler. I decided I had. That's when something seemed to fall onto my shirt.

Now, I am sometimes guilty of putting stuff over the visor in the car, but I didn't think I had done that. Still, something seemed to have fallen from the visor. I wondered what it was. It was dark in the car, 4:00-4:30 time frame, and no other traffic on the road. A little bit of light from the dashboard, but that was it. I couldn't really see anything on my shirt, and I wasn't going to take my eyes off the road for any period of time.

I'm in the middle of nowhere, on a four-lane road, 65 MPH, no traffic, and the possibility of deer, as I was very much aware. So, without being able to see it, I grabbed whatever it was that had settled on my shirt.

It grabbed back.

That's not a feeling you want to experience when you're driving 65 MPH in the middle of nowhere on a road with curves and bridges.

I threw whatever it was down. I realized almost immediately, of course, it was that large bug I had encountered at the gas pump. Seems it had made its way into the car either during the time I stepped over it and before I shut the door, or surreptitiously while I re-entered the car. Either way, there was a large bug in the car, somewhere under my feet.

Okay, then. Maybe I'll stop for something to drink or a snack up the road. Breakfast at a McDonald's maybe. I'll locate and extract the large bug at that time. Then, it flew from the floor beneath my feet to the passenger seat where I had laid my jacket.

This simply would not do.

I pulled over into a turn lane. The four-lane was divided by a large grass median -- about three full lanes wide -- and had the occasional turn-round lane on the left where one could pull into it, then make a u-turn when traffic was clear.

I stopped the car, put it in park, put the flashers on in case a vehicle happened by, put my holster on -- I don't wear it when driving but have it at hand -- and exited the vehicle. I walked around to the passenger side, opened the door, picked up the jacket and shook it, looking for the bug.

No bug.

I pulled out my phone, turned the flashlight on, and began looking though the car.


So, I'm standing beside the road around 4:30 in the morning with an invisible flying pinch bug loose in the car. Now, I'm wondering what the trade-in value is on the car.

After a few more minutes, I finally found the large pinch bug on the floor behind the driver's seat. I grabbed a loose Wendy's napkin -- I don't remember ever hitting a Wendy's drive-thru since I got that car, but that's a mystery for another time -- and picked up the bug and tossed it away from the car.

He didn't like that, and came straight back for the car. My foot put an end to the whole sordid affair.

I left the body just laying there, as a warning for other invisible flying pinch bugs. I am not to be trifled with.

1 comment:

  1. We assume that you don't have the Right Stuff for being an Uber insect driver?
    -join the crowd!


Please choose a Profile in "Comment as" or sign your name to Anonymous comments. Comment policy