Maybe I should go to work for the government...

The Department of Justice wants someone who can translate what Black folks say.

Really.

According to news reports:

The US Department of Justice is looking for linguists fluent in "Ebonics" to help monitor, translate and transcribe covertly recorded conversations of the subjects of drug investigations, according to federal contracting documents.

Up to nine experts will work with the Drug Enforcement Administration's Atlanta field office helping to translate telephone conversations and "maintain a list of slang words and codes," according to the contracting information released by the DEA.

I could do that job. I've done it before, just not for the government.

Really.

Let me explain. And, keep in mind, I am not making any of this up.

Back in the 1980s, I worked in Jacksonville at a truckstop. The main areas were the restaurant, the shop, the travel store, and the fuel/service desk. I ran the fuel/service desk.

At the truckstop, some of the people that worked there were familiar with the road, and with life on the road. Many had family members who were in the trucking industry, or were former truckers or otherwise involved in trucking.

That meant that, not only were the people who worked there familiar with the daily routines and experiences of the truckers, the primary customer, but they came from all over.

In fact, about half the people who worked at the service desk weren't from the south.

Another thing you may need to know is that pulpwood trucks are pretty common in the south. Particularly in south Georgia or north Florida. And, in many parts of the south, Blacks make up 30-40% of the population, a much higher percentage than much of the rest of the country.

Which means that around 40% of the pulpwood truck drivers are Black.

And, in rural areas of south Georgia, where you're more likely to find trees, many in the Black community speak Gullah or Geechee dialects.

Now, if you aren't familiar with those, those dialects are centered around the Low Country of South Carolina -- but aren't limited to South Carolina.

And, if you're from up north, and you work at a truckstop in Jacksonville, and if a Gullah- or Geechee-speaking person asks you a question, you're probably going to be lost.

Unless, the manager of the service desk is from south Georgia and grew up knowing people that spoke that dialect.

That manager was me.

Anyway, I would be called on to translate between Yankee and Geechee/Gullah.

The Yankees would be totally amazed that I could understand the dialect-speaking driver.

And the drivers were totally amazed that I could stand to be around the Yankees.

So, I have experience speaking Black dialects. Or, at least, understanding and translating Black dialects.

Which means I could go to work for the government.

I just don't like the idea of having to speak government. The words are easy, but the meaning will drive you crazy.

Learning the language

When I served in Korea in 1993, I had my first extended contact with soldiers from other armies.

The U.S. Army forces in the Republic of Korea are augmented by the KATUSA program. KATUSA actually stands for Korean Augmentation to the United States Army.*

Naturally, the U.S. soldiers called the KATUSA soldiers simply "KATUSAs."

It was interesting to watch how the KATUSAs would break in new KATUSAs. They'd scream, yell, get physical to some degree -- and it was pretty intense. Much, much worse than Basic Training was when I went through. And much, much worse than what I hear about how Basic Training is today.

We'd watch the KATUSAs break in the new guys ... from a distance ... quietly, trying not to be seen. But, the KATUSAs were only like that to each other, and only -- so it seemed -- for a short period of time.

When a KATUSA served directly alongside the U.S soldiers, they were as fascinated by us as we were by them. We figured it was because our soldiers had an easier time of things. Not just by the way we were towards each other, but because our equipment was a lot newer and better.

One of the most interesting things was overcoming the language barrier.

Most American soldiers don't speak Korean. Oh, sure, everyone who serves there learns a few Korean phrases -- and some learn the language. But fall the KATUSAs know English. At least to a large degree.

However, everyday English is not as commonly known. Lots of slang isn't known. And, when they pick up slang, they may not always understand all the subtleties. And, that can lead to unintentional humor.

I remember once, I was speaking with a chaplain at Camp Hovey, and his assistant, a KATUSA, came into the room.

The topic of the chaplain HMMWV came up. And the chaplain asked about an issue with the vehicle. When an inspection uncovers a fault, and it's a critical fault, causing the vehicle to be classified as inoperable, it was commonly, though unofficially, called a "deadline" fault.

The chaplain was telling his KATUSA assistant to record the problem on the 2404, making sure he understood it was a deadline fault.

"Deadline" was unfamiliar to the KATUSA, who had picked up many other slang terms. He asked about that word.

The chaplain tried to explain, "It causes it to not be operational. You can't use it. It's a major problem, and we can't drive the HMMWV until it's fixed."

The KATUSAs face lit up. "Ah. Fucked up."

The chaplain paused for a moment, then nodded. "Yes. We call it 'deadlined."

The chaplain managed to teach a new, proper slang word to the KATUSA. And I got to practice not laughing out loud.