iPhone 7 Hack: Adding a headphone jack

[The YouTube]

Let me know how well it works.

New Year's Resolutions for 2011

For 2011, I hereby resolve to:

• do a better job of helping out around the house
• be respectful of other liberals
• stop repeating myself
• not think everyone who voted for Obama is an idiot
• not throw rocks at the neighbors' dogs
• not make fun of rednecks
• not make fun of yankees
• stop repeating myself
• not think everyone who voted for Obama is a moron
• be a role model for children
• pay attention when my wife is talking
• be correct 110% of the time
• improve my math skills
• stop repeating myself
• compliment people more often
• become a serious blogger
• stop repeating myself
• not think everyone who voted for Obama is a dumbass
• sprout wings and fly

I shall achieve them all with equal success.

Happy New Year!

Microsoft hates America!

The other day, I ran into a situation with a date field on a Website. Someone who I was telling about the issue (it involved ColdFusion and a valid time value) was inspired to research valid date-time fields in databases. And, as it turns out, Microsoft SQL Server has date limitations.

For instance, you can't store a date prior to January 1, 1753 in a Microsoft SQL database.
You may ask, why would I want to store a date prior to January 1, 1753 in a database? Well, if your database is on American history, or about great Americans, then you just might need that.

George Washington's birthday was February 22, 1732 (or, February 11, 1731 O.S.) -- which means you can't store George Washington's birthday in a Microsoft database!

The Father of our Country! First in war, first in peace, first in the hearts of his countrymen! Our nation's first president under the Constitution! Microsoft won't let you store his birthday in their databases? That's outrageous!

Why does Microsoft hate America?

New NewsBusted! Yay!

[Direct link]

NewsBusted! Yay!

Oops! A new NewsBusted came out Tuesday, and I missed it. Until now...


[Direct link]

Oooh, look, a new NewsBusted!

Yay! A new NewsBusted!


[Direct link]

A new NewsBusted!

New NewsBusted! Yay!


[Direct link]

NewsBusted 4/30/2010

The new NewsBusted is up! Yay!


[Direct Link]

How to properly fill out a census form on April Fools' Day

Do you think it's a coincidence that the census is to be filled out on April 1st?

Of course not. The first census in the U.S. was taken in 1790. April Fools' Day goes back to at least the 1600s -- and possibly as far back as 1508. The point is, April Fools' Day pranks were recognized well before the census was established in the United States.

The Founding Fathers knew this. So it is expected that the census be treated as an April Fools' Day prank.

Here is how to fill out the census form...

For the number of people, answer 80.

For all the check boxes, check them all.

For fill in the blank boxes that ask for numbers, answer in binary. If you're not sure, just guess. The phrase "close enough for government work" applies.

For fill in the blank boxes about races, use any race from Star Trek: Romulan, Klingon, Vulcan, Cardassian, Horta, or any other.

For phone numbers, enter 202-456-1414. If you want to know whose number it is, call it.

For names, choose from this list:

• Pat McCrotch
• Heywood Jablome
• Amanda Huginkiss
• I. C. Weiner
• I.P. Freely
• Jack Mehoff
• Harry Dick
• Justin Case
• Lucinda Head
• Sunny Disposition
• Pete Moss
• Pat McGroin
• Mike Hunt
• Seymore Butts
• Mike Hawk
• Hugh Jass
• Hugh G. Rection
• Dick Hertz
• Hugh Janus
• Dixie Normus
• Dixie Rect
• Howie Feltersnatch
• Jack Offalot
• Patty O'Furniture
• Phil Uranus
• Ben Dover
• Pussy Galore
• Bibi Dahl
• Xenia Onatopp
• Plenty O'Toole
• Homer Sexual

I'm sure you can think of more.

The point is, have fun with it. You wouldn't want to disappoint the Founding Fathers.

Hitler gets "Blind Side"-ed

Hitler finds out that Sandra Bullock wouldn't attend the German premiere of "The Blind Side" because of Jesse James' indiscretions...


[Direct link]

Tip: Little Miss Attila < Sidelines

Lenny, please!

They can't make movies like this anymore.

From the movie Lenny, starring Dustin Hoffman...


[Direct link]
Tip: Michael Walsh, Big Journalism

Real Lenny Bruce.

Photoshop's new Content-Aware Scaling feature

Adobe Photoshop has a new functionality called Content-Aware Scaling.

Here's how Adobe describes it:

Use the revolutionary Content-Aware Scaling feature to automatically recompose an image as you resize it, smartly preserving vital areas as the image adapts to the new dimensions. Get the perfect image in one step without time-intensive cropping and retouching.

And, based on this video, it looks great:


[Direct link]

But, it has other applications, too...


[Direct link]
Tip: kuratkull < Neatorama

Something On A Stick Day

Today is Something On A Stick Day. Really.

So, in honor, I present (based on a post at barbaylive) ...

It's official: I'm a nerd

I hit Geek, Dweeb, or Dork on occasion. But, most of the time, I'm in the Nerd.

Via Great White Snark < Sed Contra.

A book I never read

This is exactly what it looks like...



Click here to read the whole thing.

Tip: kuratkull < Neatorama < Miss Cellania

NewsBusted!

A new episode of NewsBusted is out!


[Direct link]

New News Busted!

Yay! The new episode of NewsBusted is out!


[Direct link]

Pick the SNL sketch

Here's a quiz:

Which one of these videos is a sketch from Saturday Night Live, and which is a video of a real-life event?

Video number one:


[Direct link]


Video number two:


[Direct link]

Could you tell?

Both are funny, but for different reasons.

One is an Academy Award-winning actor playing a dumbass who has no concept of numbers. The other is a United States president actually being a dumbass who has no concept of numbers, saying that insurance rates would go down 3-thousand percent under his plan.

Comedy writers could imagine the first. No one could imagine the second. Except it's real. Sadly, sadly real.

But it does help explain why I've been saying that everyone who voted for Obama is a dumbass.

Making Axelrod tolerable

Presidents have their advisers. The current occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue listens to David Axelrod.

I don't see how he does it. Of course, I don't see how anyone can listen to Barack Obama, either. And maybe that's it. The two of them have been listening to the same nonsense for so long, it's normal for them.

But, I found a way to make Axelrod tolerable...


[Direct link]

Audio source can be seen in context here.

Film at 11

Earlier this week, I had a post with the ultimate movie trailer.

But, what if movies are not your cup of tea? What if news is your preference?

Well, we're here to help. Here is how to do a video news report (NSFW).


[Direct report]
Tip: Classic Liberal

I'm watching the news while I'm composing this post. And, now, everything the reporter is saying is automatically being translated into this video.

Not that that's a bad thing.