Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Codename "Chalaque"

The reports from the U.K. about the president's codename as assigned by Scotland Yard. It's "Chalaque," which, according to the Daily Mail is a "mildly offensive" Punjabi word meaning, roughly, "smart alec."

They claim it's completely innocent, as the codenames are randomly generated. Of course, adding "Wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more" might have undermined that defense.

But what about next time? It's possible that Obama could travel to the U.K. again. I mean, he may discover he's also Wells, and that would mean a trip to his ancestral home, where he'd talk about coming from a long line of Welsh Obamas.

We can help. We can come up with a list of approved codenames for Obama.

For example:
  • Dumbo
  • Vappa
  • Benzona
  • Windbag
  • Ego
Nope. None of those really capture it. What suggestions do you have?

Toast

Did you see Chalaque Obama screw up a toast?

Normally, a toast of "To Her Majesty, the Queen" would be sufficient. But not to the World's Smartest Human™. Oh, no. He-Who-Shall-Not-Shut-The-Hell-Up kept on rambling, over the national anthem.


[Direct link]

How many ways can a man embarrass himself, and, by extension due to his position, an entire country?

I propose a toast: To November 6, 2012.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

2012 campaign slogans

The campaign for the White House is underway. Or hadn't you noticed? No? Trust me, it's started.

You'll be hearing all the campaign slogans from all the campaigns soon. If they can come up with some.

I've thrown in with the campaign of fellow Georgian Herman Cain, because he's the most conservative of the candidates. Not a fan of that whole "Fair Tax" thing, but as for common principles, his most align with mine.

But the Cain campaign doesn't really have a slogan. Not that I can tell, anyway. You got a bunch of the "woo-hoo" crowd telling out things like "Yes we Cain!" during the pauses in the candidate's speeches, but not a lot more than that.

No "Change we can believe in" or "Hope and change" or any of those greatest hits from 2008.

Perhaps a candidate can win by actually taking good positions and spelling out a plan, but really, this is the nation that elected Barack Obama. Those kind of short attention span people are going to need something clever to get or keep their attention long enough to mark their ballots.

And that's where you come in.

Help come up with some slogans for the candidates. I'll start:

Herman Cain
He delivers!

Doesn't understand "right of return" or any of the rest of the nonsense the Palestinians are spouting off about.

Ron Paul
Not as crazy as Harold Camping, but close!

Chris Christie
Not really a conservative, but not really running for president, either.

Sarah Palin
Go ahead. Nominate me. That'll piss 'em off, you betcha!

Barack Obama
Not done embarrassing America yet!

Okay, these are lame. I'm sure you can do much better. Have at it.

UPDATE: IMAO readers had some suggestions.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Counting the Cain crowd

So, how many people attended the Herman Cain announcement and rally in Atlanta yesterday?

Cain said 15,000. The Atlanta Journal-Constitution said 10,000.

Who to believe?

Well, the same article talked about his "20-minute speech."

I recorded it. I started the recording as he was walking onto the stage, and stopped it when he left the stage. The video is 33:05:


The ratio of 33:05 to 20:00 is roughly the same as the ratio of 15,000 to 10,000.

I'm thinking there were closer to 15,000 than 10,000 ... based on what I'm seeing, and what I know about how most media outlets over conservatives.

Meeting Herman Cain

Wife and I had the opportunity to travel to Atlanta for yesterday's Herman Cain announcement. We attended the private breakfast beforehand, and had the chance to get close to the candidate.

Well, sort of.

You see, the agenda called for breakfast at 9:15, with Mr. Cain arriving at 9:45.

Only, it didn't work out that way. He got there early.

I had just finished going through the buffet line and was back at the table when he entered the room. And that caused a sudden shift in everyone's activities. Including mine.

I glanced to my left, saw his path was going to take him right by me, and decided to place the plate on the table, and let the rush of folks take me over.

The rush of folks came first.

I was jarred, and my plate of food fell. $2,500 worth of sausage biscuit and fruit hit the floor. Okay, I'm exaggerating about the cost. But, this being a campaign event, some people may have paid that much just to attend. So it's possible, just not factual. Had it been one of them instead of me, then, yes, it would have been $2,500 worth of sausage biscuit and fruit.

But my food did fall. Or the plate did. And the food was on the place. And not all of it stayed on the plate. Some of it bounced off the plate and onto the floor.

So, I'm standing there in the aftermath of a crash of plate, table, chair, and floor, with the person I came to meet just a few feet away. He's ahead of time, and this is a chance to spend some unscheduled time meeting and chatting with him. And maybe ask some questions.

Only, I've got food at and on my feet.

So, I grab some napkins from the table and squat. Meanwhile, there's a crowd working there way past the table and me, trying to get close to Herman Cain. Legs, knees, hands all participating in the rush, and not in a helpful way, either.

I gather all the parts of biscuit and fruit -- the parts of the plate of food that actually left the plate and took up residence on the floor -- in napkins as best I could, then stood and placed the ex-breakfast on the table.

Here I am, standing with buttery, sausage-soaked biscuit and bits of melon on my hands. Wife hands me the hand sanitizer, and I start my Mr. Monk impersonation, rubbing the cleaner as fast and as thoroughly as I can.

I have missed my best opportunity to meet the man I came to see. But, not my last opportunity, as it turned out.

After I finally got all the food off the floor and my hands cleaned, I look for a place to dispose of the bits of the inedibles. I start scanning the room. First, straight ahead, to the podium, looking for Herman Cain, hoping to plan a chance to get up close.

The room was still abuzz, but I didn't see Herman Cain anywhere. Had he made a quick appearance and then departed for some other pre-announcement work before coming back for his scheduled talk?

No, as it turns out, he was at his family's table, talking with his children and grandchildren. I discovered that when I turned to my right and found myself eye to eye with Herman Cain.

He must have quickly glanced at my name tag -- either that or he's a huge fan of this blog; I'm thinking the former, but telling myself the latter -- called me by name, and told me he was glad to seem me as he shook my hand.

I responded in kind, and glanced to the lady on my left. The Wife extended her hand and she and Herman Cain exchanged pleasantries. He introduced Gloria, his wife, and the proper greetings occurred.

He turned his focus to the family at their table, and we turned our focus back to our table.

So, while I did get to meet him, my breakfast malfunction messed up my best chance to actually chat and ask questions.

The sausage biscuit was good, though. The parts that didn't fall on the floor.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Herman Cain's announcement

Atlanta businessman Herman Cain announced his candidacy for President of the United States.

And we were there! And by we, I mean me. And now, you were there, too!


[Direct link]

If you're not supporting Herman Cain, that's okay.

Actually, it's not. What's wrong with you?

Anyway, we were there and will post a little more later.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Ask a candidate

Never one to learn from my mistakes, I'm soliciting questions for another politician. This time, it's for Herman Cain.

I'll be at the private event in Atlanta Saturday morning, and at the public event at noon Saturday.

I'm seeking questions to ask Herman Cain over at IMAO. If you want to play along, leave your questions there.