Tuesday, April 3, 2012

MST3K: Episode 412 - Hercules and the Captive Women

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 412: Hercules and the Captive Women

First aired: Comedy Central on 12 September 1992
Availability: MST3KVideos.com

Gypsy joins the fun!
I never saw this episode until ... I watched it for this project.

It aired 22 times on Comedy Central between 1992 and 1996, but I missed every one of the airings. Although I'm not sure that "missed" is the best wording. Hercules and the Captive Women isn't that good of a movie. This episode is okay, but honestly, how many jokes about big dumb guys on steroids who run around in short skirts can you make?

A lot, apparently. Best Brains did four Hercules movies. This is the third one they did. I'm just not a fan of these movies.

The thing about this episode that stood out the most? It's the one where Gypsy gets to join Joel, Crow, and Servo in the theater. She asks Joel and he agrees, if she makes sure everything will be okay with the higher functions of the ship. Like oxygen, you know.

"They're steam-cleaning the horses."
Servo and Crow don't like the idea at all, but Joel overrides them and Gypsy joins them.

She finds out pretty quickly that this isn't her calling. She does get in a few riffs. The best was "They're steam-cleaning the horses." At least, we think it's a riff and not just her misinterpreting what's going on.

After about five minutes, she disccovers this is a really bad movie and doesn't want to hang around, and leaves. Joel doesn't have that luxury. I'm not sure why Crow and Servo hang around. Did Joel program them to? He give them pretty much free will. Perhaps they care enough for the poor fellow that they stick around during the movie to comfort him. Or, maybe it's part of the experiment to see how machines are affected. Or, maybe it's just a show and I should really just relax.

Gyspy has had enough.
The movie? Hercules is kidnapped by his friend, King Androcles of Thebes, to go somewhere and do something to stop the weather from acting up or something. They land on an island and the crew mutinies. Hercules defeats them and strands them, and he, Androcles, Timoteo, and Hylas (Herc's son) sail on. They wreck, and Hercules saves a woman from being absorbed into a rock. He returns her to her home in Atlantis, where the evil queen, her mother, tries to drug and then seduce Hercules, then sends her daughter off to be killed. Hercules saves the day, and Atlantis is destroyed. The end.

Not a lot to like about this movie. The riffing was okay, but not great. Like I said, we've heard most of these jokes before. Or jokes just like them.

Day-care and lawn care. A match made in ... Deep 13.
The Host Segments are good, but not great. Of course, the Mads' contribution to the invention exchange, where they combine day-care and lawn care, is inspired. Frank probably should have put just a little more thought into it.

The good-natured brawling skit is okay. But it's no more stupid than the movies and TV shows that contain that kind of stuff.

I did like Crow's history lesson. Some of the history he related was about as accurate as what they teach in some schools today. Only difference? Crow's was supposed to be a joke. What some people pass off as history is supposed to be real. And so ends today's commentary on the state of today's education system.

The Hercules action figure? Nailed it.

Not a great episode, but an okay one. Some funny stuff, but not particularly memorable.

Except for Gypsy's visit.

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