Monday, April 30, 2012

MST3K: Episode 504 - Secret Agent Super Dragon

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 504: Secret Agent Super Dragon

First aired: Comedy Central on 7 August 1993
Availability: iTunes, Amazon Instant Video, Amazon (Volume 12), Rhino (Volume 12), Best Brains (Volume 12)

Too bad the movie wasn't super.
It's a spy film! And it stars Sean Connery as Ian Fleming's James Bond.

Okay, that's not true.

Well, the Sean Connery part. And the James Bond part. And the "stars" part. But it is a spy movie.

I wasn't familiar with Ray Danton, who had the lead role in this movie. But, I suspect I've seen him in stuff. He appeared in guest-starring roles on 77 Sunset Strip, Bat Masterson, Maverick, Laramie, The Virginian, Temple Houston, Wagon Train, Honey West, The Man from U.N.C.L.E., The Big Valley, The Name of the Game, Ironside, It Takes a Thief, Love, American Style, Dan August, The F.B.I., Night Gallery, The Streets of San Francisco, Police Story, McCloud, Toma, Cannon, Hawaii Five-O, The Rockford Files, Switch, Barnaby Jones, and other shows.

Ray Danton plays Super Dragon, who is Secret Agent, Super Horny.
So, yeah, I've probably seen him in other stuff before I saw this episode of MST3K. And you probably have, too.

But, I didn't recognize him. That whole, "Oh, that's the guy that was in that show that time" thing? No, it just didn't happen for me.

Guy's got a real deep, distinctive voice. But I didn't recall it. None of that "Oh, he sounds like that guy that was in that show that time" thing, either.

For some reason, he never made an impression on me. But he made an impression on the ladies. At least, that's what the script writers had going on.

He's not in The Village and he's not Number Six.
Bryan Cooper is retired Secret Agent Super Dragon, who goes back into the spy business when a buddy is killed over some chewing gum or something. That part wasn't clear. Or maybe it was. I don't remember. So, Secret Agent Super Dragon goes looking for his buddy's killer only to find a drug ring that's giving away spiked chewing gum in Michigan. Naturally, this means Secret Agent Super Dragon must go to Amsterdam to solve the crime, so he does, after he springs another buddy from jail. Secret Agent Super Dragon meets and beds some young lovelies along the way as he uncovers a drug operation that smuggles drugs inside Ming vases, chosen so they won't attract anyone's attention or something. Secret Agent Super Dragon saves the day and college students in Michigan can chew gum with confidence again. The end.

Secret Agent, Super Dragon is not the worst film MST3K has given the treatment, but it's certainly not the best, either.
Minsky.Crow's screenplay for The Spy Who Hugged Me.
The riffing wasn't great, but it was good. Just enough to keep the chuckles coming, but no out and out belly laughs.

The best invention wasn't in the Invention Exchange. You see, the Bots made a robot for Joel. Only, it didn't do a log. Sort of like all the robot toys that existed when I was a kid. Still, I thought more of it than I did Frank's Virtual Comedy Club or Joel's Micro Golf.
Secret Agent Super Dragon at work.Secret Agent Super Dragon in disguise.
J&tB did cover the spy movie staple of post-kill puns. Like, shooting a guy with a spear gun and saying "I think he got the point" or a villain getting electrocuted and the hero saying "Shocking" and such. They do a good job of taking a premise and punning with it.

See? Now I'm doing it.

A pretty good episode, just not up to par with the last several ones.

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