MST3K: Episode 520 - Radar Secret Service

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 520: Radar Secret Service

First aired: Comedy Central on 18 December 1993
Availability: MST3KVideos.com Fan Copy

Radar!

Radar! It can do anything!

Except cook. Radar can't cook. So don't even think about selling anything called the "Radar Range," Amana.

Radar has other uses, though. Like showing clear-as-day images on a TV screen. It can find a gun buried in the sand below a bridge.

Yes, there is nothing radar can't do.

At least, in the world this movie dropped through a rift in time and space from. Because Radar Secret Service can't be from this universe. Please, somebody tell me it's not possible that this universe made this film. It must be a plot from another dimension. It would make me feel so much better knowing that.

Mike gives Crow a check-up. It ends badly.

Mike goes to his class reunion. It ends badly.

Yes, it's a really stupid movie extolling the virtues of radar as a wonder device that can help solve any crime. And, it's directed by Sam Newfield, who was involved with three previous episodes:

• Episode 103: The Mad Monster
• Episode 208: Lost Continent
• Episode 507: I Accuse My Parents

This is the fourth, and last, of the Sam Newfield movies. And, I can't say the best was saved for last. Maybe the worst, but probably not. I mean, how do you pick the worst of that lot? It's like saying which horrible, painful, disfiguring disease is your least favorite.

It's a Robert Lippert film. He was personally involved in this piece of dung, as well as Episode 208: Lost Continent and Season Eight's Last of the Wild Horses. And, his production company distributed some films shows in the early years of MST3K:

• Episode 109: Project Moon Base
• Episode 201: Rocketship X-M
• Episode 203: Jungle Goddess
• Episode 210: King Dinosaur

Lippert was also involved with The Fly and The Quatermass Xperiment, among many other films I'd seen. So, you may be more familiar with him or his company than you realize. I know I was surprised with how many Lippert films I had seen apart from MST3K. That's not to say they're good movies ... although some are.

Trooper Tom dispense safety advice.

But, about this film. This really bad film.

Some bad guys steal some Uranium-238, which they're going to use to do something really really bad, but Radar is on the case, and the Radar Secret Service agents use radar (Radar!) to track the stolen truck, although there's a waitress involved somehow, as well as Sid Melton, who plays a Sid Melton-type of character, but despite all this, radar (Radar!) is used to recover the missing U-238 and the world is safe from all that is bad. Thank you, Radar! The end.

Now, you can't make a bomb out of U-238, but you can use it to make Plutonium-239, which can be used to make a bomb. Just ask Nagasaki. So, yeah, we wouldn't want U-238 to fall into the wrong hands. Neither would we want this film to fall into the wrong hands.

Radar!

While this film was not fun, not enjoyable, not having any redeeming value whatsoever, it was accompanied by a fun short film, Last Clear Chance. Well, maybe "fun" isn't the right word for a short film that features death and destruction.

A state trooper wants the family to help keep a young driver safe on the roads, but the kid's older brother isn't paying attention, and drives in front of a train. Fun, huh?

The short does inspire a Host Segment where Trooper Tom Servo warns us of the dangers all around us. Including dryer lint.

Oh, Mike goes to his class reunion. Sort of. It doesn't go well. Never does.

Not a great film. An okay episode. The short helps. A lot.

And, if you're looking for the DVD, good luck with that. For some reason, this film hasn't been released on video. Maybe one day. Till then, I have to make do with my fan copy from MST3KVideos.com.

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