What say we shower together?

In all my years, I've never made an effort to view the Perseid meteor shower. And, as much as I think everything space related is either cool or fascinating, I've surprised myself by realizing that I've never made the effort.

This year, I will. Because it's supposed to be awesome:

This year's Perseid meteor shower is shaping up as a beaut. The big night is next Thursday, but anytime now is a great time for skywatching - not only to see shooting stars, but to see the planets as well.
The Perseids are among the year's best-known meteor showers, especially for mid-northern latitudes. Here's why: The show begins ramping up in late July and hits its peak around Aug. 12-13, when it's usually pleasant to hang around outdoors in the northern hemisphere. Perseid meteors appear to radiate from the constellation Perseus, which is high up in the sky at about 3:30 a.m. in northern latitudes - prime time for meteor watching.

(Tip: Born Again Redneck and his Naked Redneck Chicks)

Between now and Thursday, if I wake up at 3:00 AM -- and I might; when you get my age, you'll understand -- I'll step outside and take a gander at the sky. If I don't, I"ll set the alarm and look on Thursday night for the big show.

I've been wondering why I've never made the effort. Maybe I don't love space as much as I thought I did. But that can't be right.

The whole Tunguska Event is fascinating. As is the Chicxulub (or K-T) event.

Halley's Comet has held a fascination for me ever since I first heard of it -- which, I'm half-embarrassed to say, was when watching an episode of The Time Tunnel back in September 1966.

Of course, space travel has been a dream never realized for me. Not Star Trek stuff. Real spaceman stuff. I still remember watching Gemini and Apollo launches live on TV, wanting to be an astronaut when I grew up. Of course, I never became an astronaut. Maybe because I never grew up.

But, since I never went to space, I'm gonna take the time to watch some space come to us.

Before the week is out, I expect to see me a meteor shower. I already know I'm going to enjoy it. Join me, will you?

Batman: The Ultimate Plan

I don't understand it, Commissioner. Four super villans who spent the last five years in solitary confinement have escaped, and we have no idea what their plan is?


That is what is so confounding about this, Batman. One day, they were all safely locked away. The next, poof! They're gone and we don't know why!


With all four on the loose, the whole world is in danger.


That's what worries me, Chum. The unknown. Rarely does the unknown turn out well.


Meanwhile, at the villans' secret underground headquarters...

Dear Japan, We Apologize...

Frank J noted that Japan still wants an apology for that whole Hiroshima and Nagasaki thing. Like those things happened in a vacuum.

I’m pretty sure we didn’t do it by accident. If we did do it by accident, I’d be okay with an apology.

“Hey, Japan we’re all like sorry for hitting you with an atomic bomb. It was meant for Mongolia, but we totally got our wires crossed and got you guys instead. Sorry dudes. Here’s a coupon for free cheesy sticks with your next order of pizza.”

Also, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t the State Department who dropped the atomic bomb on Hiroshima. At least, I don’t think it was. Do we give them atomic weapons? Because if we do, I should probably reevaluate how I’m always pointing and laughing at them.

It would be kinda funny, though, if we went to Hiroshima and apologized for bombing Nagasaki.

I think I'll give a shot at apologizing to Japan:

Hey, Japan. So, you want an apology for that whole atom bombing thing, huh? Well, I'd like to apologize for us dropping two atom bombs on you. We only had three, you see. We used one up when we a-bombed New Mexico. So, we only had two left use use on you.

I'm sorry we didn't use all three. And I'm sorry it took so long to build more bombs. I wish we could have built the bombs we gave to the Navy for Operation Crossroads earlier and used them to bomb the crap out of more of your cities.

Next time we have a war with you, I pledge to do everything I can to make sure we use a helluva lot more than two nuclear bombs on you.

How's that, Japan? Feel better now?

A Boy's Toy and a Happy Wife

Got another new toy recently. An iPad. The big one.

Okay, they're all the same size and shape. But by "the big one" I mean the 64 GB version with 3G.

Wife didn't see the sense in it. And she's got a point. It's a toy. An expensive toy. But a toy.

As it turns out, I use it most of the time as a digital picture frame. I have a lot of photos from vacations, daughter's wedding, and so on. And I turn on the slideshow feature, and I end up with an expensive digital picture frame. At least, it became a desktop digital picture frame after paying for the Apple case that lets it stand up on the desk.

Anyhow, it arrived right before we went on vacation a couple of weeks ago. And, when we left out for the Tar Heel State, I handed the iPad over to so she should play some bubble breaker game. She loves those games. And is pretty good at them. Better than I am, at least.

Anyway, as soon as we hit I-185 North heading out of Columbus, I handed the iPad to her, and told her to look at the bubble games. She liked Bubble Burst okay, but fell in love with Tumbles. What she liked about it was that the bubbles would flow depending on how you hold the iPad.

I'd glance over at her and watch her hold the iPad up, shaking it, trying to get the bubbles to line up so she could pop them.

After a couple of minutes, she looked up ... and we were in Atlanta. That's nearly 100 miles. And it's a heckuva lot longer than a couple of minutes. But, to her, time stopped as she played her bubble game. And after we got out of Atlanta traffic, she went back to iPad World.

She still thinks the iPad is a way-too-expensive toy. And she tells me that all the time.

All the time when she's not playing Tumbles or Mahjong. Which she plays a lot, as it turns out.

Happy Birthday, Mr. President

Today is Barack Obama's birthday. At least that's what people are saying. Without a birth certificate, it's hard to know for sure. I blame the poor state of health care in Kenya in 1961.

Anyway, since he's up and walking around, we'll assume he does have a birthday, okay? I don't think he's a robot. Or a space alien. Although either of those would explain a lot.

No, I think he's a human. Or close enough, anyway. And, sure, I'll go along with today being his birthday.

Which means ... PARTY! Because everyone from Georgia is all about the party, right?

So, how do we celebrate Barack Obama's birthday?

I have some ideas:

• Find an Arab king and bow to him.
• Go on vacation. But not to the Gulf.
• Blame Bush for any gray hairs I find.
• Spend a trillion dollars. After all, it's also Wednesday!
• Order the most expensive item on the menu, then, if they bring me a bill, tell the waitress she's racist.
• If she's White, tell her she's racist anyway.
• Call Larry Sinclair, just for old time's sake.
• Tax the rich.
• Tax the poor.
• Blame Bush for taxes going up.
• Tell everyone on teh Twitters how awesome I am.

Those are my ideas. You have any suggestions?

Okay, I'm not that smart, but ...

They're making a big deal about that "static kill" of the well in the Gulf. And, I supposed that, if true, it's good news.

But, I have to ask...

In order to kill this well -- you know, that well that's been spewing oil for months -- they ran a big hose to handle lots of pressure of mud and concrete.

That means that they could hook up a long hose that would handle lots of heavy material under pressure.

So, why didn't they just put an empty hose and let the oil flow up in a controlled manner, and put the oil into, like, tankers and something?

If you're smart enough to understand all this, please explain it to me.

Unless, of course, you voted for Obama. If you did that, I don't trust your brain. It's defective. And you have nothing useful to say.

In case you thought I was making stuff up...

The other day, I wrote about how stupid the phrase "African-American" is to refer to Blacks in the U.S.

Of the many things that's stupid about, there is that there's no good reason to make a special name for people of a certain race in a certain country. If you have a name for Blacks in the U.S., why wouldn't you have a special name for Blacks in Canada, the U.K., France, Ethiopia, or any other country?

Specifying something special about the U.S. isn't politically correct. So, unless, of course, you want to be politically correct by being politically incorrect, then it's stupid. Actually, it's stupid anyway.

But, my example about calling someone in another country "African-American-Britons" or something like that ... actually happened. I missed it. But, Paul over at Mean Ol' Meany didn't. He found a reference from a few years where someone on CNN actually referred to two Blacks in France as "African-Americans."

So, my suggestion of a though experiment to determine how stupid that phrase is was't necessary. An actual instance has already happened.

Thanks for finding that, Paul. Shows how far ahead of the curve I am ... even when I'm years behind.