The college football adjustment continues

College football continued its shakeout this weekend. The list of unbeatens dropped by two, as Michigan State and Missouri fell. That ought to shut up some of the fans of the pretender teams. Unfortunately, the other pretenders won.

The media is making a big deal out of Oregon's win over a 5-2 (now 5-3) Southern Cal team. Of course, the media made a big deal out of Barack Obama, so that shows the media don't know jack.

Boise State completed another task in its cupcake schedule, beating La Tech (which is French for The Tech).

Texas Christian beat 1-6 (now 1-7) UNLV while Utah edged 5-2 (now 5-3) Air Force. Those two play on Saturday (November 6), so that'll take care of one of those.

That means that, beside eventual SEC champ Auburn (pending their thrashing of Georgia and a tight game with Alabama, plus a SEC title game win over USC), there will be three other teams that could be unbeaten at the end of the season. And only one of those gets to be the victim in the BCS title game. The other two can play each other in the Carquest Bowl or something, and lay claim to its own Fantasyland title.

SEC East

Things went as expected in the SEC East this week. Assuming wins this weekend, South Carolina and Florida's upcoming game (November 13) should decide the division. USC has Arkansas this week, while Florida plays at Vanderbilt. The only way the USC-FL game on the 13th doesn't decide the title would be for USC to beat Arkansas while Florida loses to Vanderbilt. If that happens, USC wins the East no matter what.

South Carolina is in the position of "win and we're in" the SEC title game. And so is Florida.

All the other teams have been eliminated. Yes, there are a lots of "if this team beats that team" kind of scenarios, but the fact is, the worst USC can go in the conference is 4-4. The only teams that can match that (other than Florida) are Vanderbilt and Georgia.

Any scenario with UGA leaves them out of it, since the SEC tiebreaker in a 3 or 4 team scenario eliminates them on head-to-head: 0-2 (3 team tie) or 1-2 (4 team tie).

Vanderbilt is also out. In a 4-way scenario, the head-to-head (1-2) gets them. In a 3-way, they lose on the second tie-breaker, division wins (3-2, if they win out, to Florida's 4-1).

So, it's USC vs Florida for the East. See how simple things can be?

SEC West

The West is not as simple.

If Alabama (LSU, Mississippi State, Auburn) wins out, they win the West.

If Auburn (Georgia, Alabama) wins out, they win the West.

Everybody else needs help.

If Auburn beats Georgia on November 13, then the only other team that could win the West would be Alabama, and they'd have to win out to do that.

LSU: Can win out, but can only win outright. If they are forced to a tie-breaker scenario, they lose out to Auburn. So, LSU needs to win and and have Auburn to lose to Georgia and Alabama, due to tiebreakers.

Mississippi State: Eliminated. Even if they win out, all the tie-breakers are against them. They lose a 2-way with Auburn (head-to-head). They lose 3-way with Alabama and Auburn (division record). They lose 3-way with Auburn and LSU (head-to-head). A 3-way with Auburn and Arkansas isn't possible. And the only 4-way that's possible (with Alabama, Auburn, and LSU) leaves them out because of head-to-head (1-2).

Arkansas: Eliminated. Even if they win out, all the tie-breakers are against them. In a 2-way, they lose a head-to-head with Auburn. In a 3-way, with Auburn and Alabama, Arkansas is eliminated by head-to-head (0-2). In a 3-way with Auburn and LSU, Arkansas is eliminated by head-to-head (1-1). And, a 4-way with Auburn, Alabama, and LSU also eliminates them on head-to-head (1-2).

So, the West is down to 3 teams, but the likely scenario is Alabama-Auburn on Friday, November 26 for the SEC West.

The BCS

Really, who cares?

As we said above, it's likely that Oregon, Boise State, and the winner of TCU-Utah will go unbeaten.

Boise State's only games that, at a glance, might look tough, are division co-leader Hawaii, and 1-division-loss opponents Fresno State and Nevada. Cupcake conference.

TCU and Utah both have 1-division-loss San Diego State on the schedule. That's it. Their toughest opponent (besides each other) is a cupcake.

Oregon's only semi-tough games are against Arizona (November 26) and their state rival, Oregon State (December 4). But they're all Pac-10 schools, so it's not like they're playing a real football team. Might not be cupcakes, but no tougher than a cheese danish.

When it's all over, some pretender will get to face an SEC team (probably Auburn, but Alabama or LSU could jump back in if they take the West and the SEC title game).

You know that a playoff would make a lot more sense than all of this, right?

Accepting mediocrity

Got a new Chick Magnet this week: a Droid X phone.

So far, I like it. But it's a battery suck.

Seriously, it'll kill a battery by lunch.

And, when I mentioned this to a Droid user, he said, "Yeah, that's just how it is. You'll get used to it."

"But, my BlackBerry didn't do that," I protested.

I was told to change the settings so that I didn't have it monitoring email all day. Although my BlackBerry did that without a problem.

I was told to run an app that turned off all the other apps. Although my BlackBerry didn't need to do that.

I was told that the app that turns off other apps is a drain and I needed to turn it off. I was too busy getting my mind around that to even think about my BlackBerry.

Now, there are lots of things I like about the Droid. But the way it kills a battery is a problem. So far, everything about the Droid is awesome. Except the battery life. It's mediocre at best.

I'm told to accept it. If I had voted for Barack Obama, I'd have a much easier time accepting mediocrity.

But I didn't. And I don't.

No viruses exist for the Mac. Unless it's a virus that targets the Mac.

One of the things that lots of people who own Macs (yes, there are people with Macs) like to say is that there are no viruses for the Mac.

And they actually believe that.

What brings this up? There is another virus for the Mac out there.

Intego (who makes Mac antivirus software) says that there's a Facebook/MySpace/Twitter virus designed to attach OS X (tip: AppleInsider):

This threat is a Mac OS X version of the Koobface worm, which is served as part of a multi-platform attack via a malicious Java applet. The malware itself is made up of a number of elements, though in order to simplify, we will use the term “Trojan horse” to describe it. (Technically, it propagates as a worm, is installed via a Trojan Horse, and installs a rootkit, backdoor, command and control, and other elements.)

What does this mean?

Well, like I've been saying for some time, the way to stop getting viruses isn't to get a Mac. There are lots of other reasons to get a Mac. I got a Mac. But, I also got Windows.

If you don't want to get a virus, you need to practice smart computing. Run a good antivirus software package, and don't do stupid stuff. Like clicking on videos trying to look at boobies. There are plenty of boobies around that you can find without looking for a video.

Oh, and if someone says you should get a Mac because there aren't any viruses for the Mac, slap them. Hard. And often. Because they don't know what they're talking about and probably voted for Barack Obama.

Get a Mac for a better reason: it rocks. Or don't get a Mac. Run Windows.

Or do both. I do.

Chick Magnet Squared

I've had a chickMagnet for some time. It's an iPad, of course.

But now, I got another. I got a Droid X.

It's all cool and stuff. Yeah, when you're my age, the screen is sort of hard to see, but it was hard to see on the BlackBerry, too. And the Droid has a bigger screen.

I'm still learning what all it has on it and what all it does. I'll be a while.

Talk amongst yourselves.

Now that we know the cause, we can fix it

They found out what causes people to be liberal. It's in the genes.

According to scientists at UC San Diego and Harvard University, "ideology is affected not just by social factors, but also by a dopamine receptor gene called DRD4."

The number of friends you have as a child also factors in, according to the study. Which means that if, while immature, you have influences from other immature people, you become a liberal. Which proves that liberalism is immaturity squared.

Now that they've found out what causes it, we can cure it.

I propose that we fund gene therapy projects that will get rid of that gene. Or those with it.

Sure, a bunch of pansies on the left might object to my saying that, so, let's compromise. We'll start by getting rid of those with the gene in a small sample.

What say we start with a national test group of 535. We can remove those in that sample group that have the gene, and we can do that on the first Tuesday in November. And, we can have smaller study groups at the state and local levels at the same time.

Let's try that and see how it goes. If things get better, we can then expand it to the rest of the country.

Government doesn't suck

You heard about the "Government Doesn't Suck" rally, right?

Some people who work for the government are tired of being told they suck.

And they're right: government doesn't suck.

Say it with me: government doesn't suck.

Other things that don't suck?

• Stubbing your toe in the middle of the night.
• Hitting your funny bone.
• California.
• Massachusetts.
• Being hit in the face with a frying pan.
• Liberals.
• Being hit in the nuts with a baseball bat.
• Barack Obama.
• Michelle Obama.
• Microsoft Windows ME.
• MS-DOS 4.
• Democrats.
• Right turns from the left lane.
• Kos.
• Spam/UCE.
• Keith Olbermann.
• Cats in the house.
• Dogs in the house.
• Phone calls during supper.

None of these things suck. They're all awesome! And we should organize a rally to support all these awesome things.

Jimmy Carter says things suck so bad, it's like it was when he was president

Okay, maybe Jimmy Carter didn't say that things suck so bad, that's it's like it was when he was president.

What he actually said was that America is no better off today than it was in the late '70s.

But he was saying how wonderful it was then.

Only, I remember it being no-so-great. I was around then. I turned in 1976, before Carter was elected. And I remember his administration through the eyes of someone out of high school, going to college, working jobs, buying groceries, putting gas in the car, and paying taxes. You know, adult things.

I was there in the 1970s. And the late '70s sucked.

So, I find that I actually agree with Jimmy Carter. At least, I agree that, today, America isn't in any better shape than it was in the late 1970s. Because, other than '70s music, the rest of the '70s pretty much sucked. And, even late '70s music had disco, so it kinda sucked at times, too.

Think about this:

• Double-digit unemployment. 
• American not respected by the world.
• Fears of running out of oil.
• A complete incompetent in the White House.
• Democrats screwing things up so badly that their majorities in Congress are in jeopardy.

Am I talking about the late '70s or today?

Yes, I am.

But don't get too confident that changes for the better are in store. In the 1980 election, 41% of Americans voted to reelect Jimmy Carter.

See? We've had stupid people voting for a long, long time. We need more smart people voting this year. If you know any, tell them there's an election.

And, whatever you do, do not let the stupid people know about the election. They'll just screw it up. Like they did in 1976. And 2008.