Friday, January 28, 2011

Catapults

According to reports, Mexican drug smugglers are using catapults to fling marijuana into the U.S.
National Guard troops operating a remote video surveillance system at the Naco Border Patrol Station observed several people south of the International Boundary Fence preparing a catapult and launching packages over the International Border fence, according to U.S. Customs and Border Protection.
This sounds like some Mythbusters episode. And, it sort of was. It was 5½ years ago and the episode was Border Slingshot:
Can illegal immigrants fire themselves 200 yards across the border and into the United States with a slingshot so accurate that it can land the human projectiles safely on a carefully placed mattress?
So, why have we gone from shooting Mexicans across the border to shooting pot across the border?

Economics. With the current job market, there is a bigger demand for pot than there is for Mexicans. We don't need as many Mexicans to do crappy jobs. We have Americans that will do that.

But, the slingshot, catapult, or trebuchet could be used in another way. So far, it's only been used to send things into the U.S. Why not use it to send things out of the U.S.?

Useless things. Like what, you ask?
  • Obama.
  • People that voted for Obama.
  • Season nine of "Dallas" (if you are my age, you're still pissed about that).
  • The ending of LOST.
  • Kos.
  • MSNBC.
  • Dennis Kucinich.
  • Harry Reid.
  • The New York Times.
  • Yappy little rat-dogs.
  • Oprah.
  • Julian Assange.
  • Janet Napolitano.
  • Al Sharpton.
  • David Duke.
  • Cecil Newton.
  • Liberals.
  • Ron Paul.
  • Ron Paul supporters.
  • Meghan McCain.
  • The weird chick from the Progressive commercials.
  • The Geico Gecko.
  • Any Aflac commercial that doesn't have either Earl Billings or R. Lee Ermey in it.
  • People that call soccer "football." (Yes, I know, and I don't care.)
  • Berkeley, California.
  • Most of the rest of California.
  • Moderates.
We don't have to fire them into Mexico. We could fire them into Canada. Or the ocean. Or, if the slingshot is powerful enough, back to their boyhood home. The landing might be a little rough, though. Be sure to bring a pillow, Barack.

2 comments:

  1. I don't think we could build a catapult big enough to launch Dennis Kucinich back to his boyhood home.

    I think it'd take an SRB.

    ReplyDelete
  2. If we really put a list together it could be a mile long as I am sure there are lots of thing you have skipped. Also one of those gadgets they had on the old Star Trek series with Shatner would really be great. It sent things into another dimension. I forget what it was called.
    By the way I found the site via maggiesnotebook.

    ReplyDelete

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