Thursday, July 5, 2012

MST3K: Episode 624 - Samson vs. the Vampire Women

I'm watching all of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes in order. More about that here and here.

Episode 624: Samson vs. the Vampire Women

First aired: Comedy Central on 25 March 1995
Availability: Amazon DVD, Shout Factory (Volume 24),

El Santo vs. las Mujeres Vampiro
Goodbye, Frank.

That's the theme for the final episode of Season Six.

Yes, it's Frank's swan song. And no, this wasn't like the gag in Episode 523: Village of the Giants near the end of Season Five where Frank was fired and replaced by Torgo. This was actually Frank leaving the show.

And, as a going-away present to Frank, they did a Mexican Wrestler movie. No, really. Frank loved those kind of films, but the crew hadn't done one since the first episode that aired, Episode 102: The Robot vs the Aztec Mummy. They hated that, and swore to never do another one. But, according to The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Amazing Colossal Episode Guide, as a present for Frank, they did Samson vs. the Vampire Women.

Who ya gonna call? El Santo!
If you were paying attention, you just found out that the Samson of the title isn't the Biblical hero, but rather, a Mexican wrestler. And, in Mexico, he wasn't known as Samson, but as El Santo, The Saint.

And, if you didn't know this was a Mexican wrester movie before you watched it, you'd have been shocked, stunned, surprised, mystified, and amused by the sudden appearance of a caped, masked Mexican wrestler showing up without warning in the middle of what was looking like a run-of-the-mill vampire movie.

Why would a caped, masked Mexican wrestler show up in the middle of a run-of-the-mill vampire movie? Let me try to explain.

The vampire chicks were hot before El Santo set them on fire.
No, there is no time. Let me sum up.

A bunch of desiccated, scraggly-faced vampire women awaken and turn pretty, then the leader of the hot vampire chicks wants to get a replacement, as the prophecy foretells, to marry what looks like the shadow of the Devil, so they go about trying to get the daughter of some professor, because she looks like some other woman, but the professor knows just who to call when you get invaded by a bunch of vampire hotties with kidnapping on their minds, and that's a caped, silver-masked wrestler known as El Santo, or Samson, if you are North of the Border, so Samson/El Santo starts wrestling with the vampire chicks henchmen, gets his butt handed to him over and over, but ends up saving the day by burning all the hot vampire chicks in their coffins, then drives off into the sunrise. The end.

Torgo the White spirits Frank away to Second Banana Heaven.
As bad as the film is, and yes, it's bad, it's also a little fun. Sure, you can describe a caped, silver-masked Mexican wrestler fighting vampires using words other than fun. Goofy comes to mind. Silly. Weird. Odd. Strange. WTF. And lots of other words, phrases, and acronyms come to mind. But fun fits. So, being in a generous mood, I'll call it fun.

Now, I haven't seen the unedited, un-MSTied Samson vs. the Vampire Women and, quite honestly, don't plan to. I really don't think I'd enjoy it. But, watching it with Mike & the Bots, it's tolerable. Fun, even.

But the movie isn't the highlight of the show. It's Frank's departure.

Frank goes to Second Banana Heaven, joining Tonto, Kato, Robin, Don Wilson, Gabby Hayes, Joe Besser ... and Pat Buttram, but we'll cover that later. Much later.

This episode isn't available on commercial DVD ... yet. It will be at the end of the month, though. I have a fan copy, but have ordered the DVD pack, and am just awaiting its release and deliver.

I might watch this one again.

Just kidding. I WILL watch this one again.

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