Grandmama Lavender's Icebox Fruitcake

Here's a real fruitcake recipe. It's my grandmother's no-bake fruitcake. And it's delicious.

Ingredients

• One box (approx. 12 oz.) of vanilla wafers


• One pound of candied cherries (red and/or green)


• One can (approx. 14 oz.) sweetened condensed milk (not evaporated milk)


• One cup raisins


• One cup coconut


• One cup pecans

Directions

1. Finely crush vanilla wafers. A food processor works great!


2. In a large bowl, add the vanilla wafers, sweetened condensed milk.


3. Hand mix until wafers are moistened.


4. Add remaining ingredients.


5. Mix well by hand.


6. Press mixture into a buttered tube pan.


7. Cover


8. Refrigerate overnight, until firm.

Keep it refrigerated, as it will spoil. This isn't your traditional fruitcake. It's so, so much better!

You Missed Girlfriend's Day!

It is good to be a woman ...

1. We got off the Titanic first.


2. We can scare male bosses with any mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.


3. Taxis stop for us.


4. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.


5. No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo.


6. We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.


7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.


8. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.


9. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.


10. We have the ability to dress ourselves.


11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.


12. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot.


13. We will never regret piercing our ears.


14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.


15. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening anyway.

Oh, and Basil? What's this with all the comments recently about "Smokin' hot babes"???

I got your smokin' hot babe right here. That's for missing Girlfriend's Day on August 1st.

The Wife Gets In The Act

It’s not white trash stuff but it’s cute.

Sisters Mary Catherine, Maria Theresa, Katherine Marie, Rose Frances, & Mary Kathleen left the Convent on a trip to St. Patrick's Cathedral in New York City and were sight-seeing on a Tuesday in July. It was hot and humid in town and their traditional garb was making them so uncomfortable that they decided to stop in at Patty McGuire's Pub for a cold soft drink.

Patty had recently added special legs to his barstools, which were the talk of the fashionable (!) eastside neighborhood. All 5 Nuns sat up at the bar and were enjoying their cokes when Monsignor Riley and Father McGinty entered the bar through the front door.

They, too, came for a cold drink, but were shocked and almost fainted at what they saw.

[Click here for what they saw]