Stormy weather

Well, here I sit on Friday, in the dark.

Big storm just went through and took out the power.

Big storm.

No phone, no lights, no Internet ... not a single luxury.

Well, okay, I do have the Blackberry. So, I guess I do have a phone. And Internet, through Blackberry service. And it's the only light I have, since the flashlight died a few minutes ago.

There's also a tree on the house. But not in the house, thankfully. I took a picture, but it's too dark to make anything out. But I'll have pictures when the sun comes up in the morning.

Maybe we'll have power by then.

Bow? What bow?

Hello, my name is Tommy Flanagan, White House spokesman. I wanted to clear up some misconceptions about the president's meeting with King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia. You see this picture? Some have said that the president is bowing to King Abdullah. Well, that's just not true. The president did not bow. No, he, um... he was bending down. Yeah. Bending down so he could look King Abdullah in the eye. Yeah. That's what he did. Then he ... saw a ninja. Yeah, a ninja. The ninja was hiding and the president feared for King Abdullah's safety. So he dove after the ninja and beat him up. With one han... one finger. That how powerful Barack Obama is. He beats up ninjas. With one finger. His pinkie finger. Look at the picture again. See the ninja? Of course you don't! It's a ninja! But the president saw him. Because he has x-ray eyes. He can see ninjas. Yeah. Then he saw the king choking. And gave him the Heimlich Maneuver. Yeah. See? He's giving him Heimlich Maneuver from the front! It's a secret, special Heimlich Maneuver. And I taught him how to do it. Yeah. It's called the "Flanagan Maneuver." That's the ticket. The president is a hero. Because he saved the king. King Abdullah will probably give him his daughter to marry. Kings do that, you know. Then, to top it off, he auditioned for Dancing with the Stars right there on the spot. See? He's dancing. And he won! The president is the best dancer ever. Yeah. So I hope this has cleared things up. The president didn't bow to the king of Saudi Arabia. No, he would never do such a silly thing. Barack Obama knows what he's doing. He's ... experienced! Yeah, that's the ticket. He's the smartest, bravest, most qualified man ever to sit in the Oval Office. Or my wife's name isn't ... Morgan Fairchild.

I wonder whose pants these are I'm wearing

I take my work shirts -- dress shirts -- to the laundry. Pants, not so often.

So, it was a little unusual when I found a pair of my khaki pants ... two pair, actually ... on hangers with the laundry plastic around them this morning.

I figured I had taken them the last time I dropped off clothes. I only have two pair of khaki pants; the rest of the pants I wear to work are black. So, I took the plastic off and took out one of the pair of pants.

When I put them on, I went back to the closet for a shirt. That's when I saw the other pair of khaki pants.

I paused.

Okay, I'm wearing khaki pants. That's one.

There's a hanger with khaki pants that had the laundry tag. That's two.

Then, there's the other pair I just saw. That's three.

Three out of two.

I look around in the closet. There's more khaki pants. That's four.

Out of two.

Okay, where did I get four pair of pants?

The Wife left for work early, so she wasn't around. I couldn't ask her about them. So, heck, the pants fit. And they actually were in better shape than the two pair of khakis that I've been wearing. So, I wore them to work.

But I wondered where they came from.

And whose they are.

The good news is, whosever pants these are, he and I share the same taste in pants.

Perhaps, women too.

Secretariat

My nephew (The Wife's sister's son) is over at the house this evening, doing work for school.

With his computer out of service because of the fire, he's using the Dell to research some stuff online.

The topic? Icons. His and his parents'. Comparing them.

And sports was mentioned. His sports icons were Tim Tebow and John Smoltz. His parents' were Nolan Ryan and Andrés Galarraga.

That got me to thinking about sports icons.

Sure, there's Babe Ruth, Muhammed Ali, Jim Thorpe, Michael Jordan, Jim Brown, Gordie Howe, Hank Aaron ... oh, I could go on and on.

But there's one icon that is different.

Secretariat.

I watched the 1973 Belmont Stakes on TV, falling for all the hype of the matchup between Secretariat and Sham, who had finished 1-2 in the Kentucky Derby and Preakness.

The Belmont Stakes wasn't close.


[The YouTube]

The image that I remember is the camera pulling back as far as it could, trying to get Secretariat and another horse ... any horse ... in the frame. But Big Red's lead was so great (winning by 31 lengths) that the cameraman gave up and focused on the only horse in the race. Secretariat wasn't racing Sham, Twice A Prince, My Gallant, or Private Smiles (the only other horses in that race). He was racing himself.

ESPN called the horse one of the top 50 athletes of the 20th century.

I'm not a fan of horse racing. So, my opinion don't mean much. But to me, Secretariat will always be horse racing.

Comrade

Comrades Barack Obama, Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi and Russian President Dmitry Medvedev

"My new comrade."

That's what Russian president Dmitry Medvedev called Barack Obama.

Heck, we've known his as Comrade Obama for some time.

I'm just waiting on a bailout bill to include a provision for a new song to replace the Star Spangled Banner.

For Madonna's next African adoption, we suggest...

Madonna's getting everyone's panties in a wad again. Seems she's adopting another little child from Africa. She adopted a little African boy -- from the nation of Malawi, actually -- in 2006. She caught some flack over that. Now, she's adopting a little African girl -- also from Malawi -- and catching flack. Perhaps she's just trying to get a complete set. Or, perhaps she truly wants to make the world better, one person at a time. Assuming the latter, we have an idea for Madonna's next adoption. He's from Africa, and if Madonna would take possession of him, keep him out of sight, for the next, say, four years, that would make the world better.

The ultimate April Fool's Day prank

The ultimate April Fool's Day prank has been pulled.

And it's been pulled on the entire world.

Everyone fell for it.

And some of you helped.

Click to view.