Cash For Cadavers

THUNK


CLANK

Bring out your dead!


CLANK

Bring out your dead!


CLANK

Bring out your dead!


THUNK


CLANK

Bring out your dead!


Here's one


I'm not dead


What?


Nothing. Where's my $4,500?


He says he's not dead.


Yes he is.


He isn't.


Well, he will be soon.


I'm getting better.


No you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment.


I can't take him. It's against regulations.


The program is C.O.R.P.S.E. That's the Cadaver and Older Retired Person System for Exchange. It's commonly called Cash for Cadavers, but I read the bill. You can take old retired people.


Look, I'm booked up. I've got to stop by the Robinsons. They lost nine waiting for the new government health care. Yes, I can take old people, but the already dead get priority.


When will you be back?


Thursday.


I can't wait till then. Can you help me out.


CLUNK


Sign here


Thanks!


Bring out your dead!

Thoughts for 2009-08-06

• What!! None of my exciting posts from Six Flags over Georgia came through today? Damn you, hackers!! #

Swastikas and symbols like that

Nancy Pelosi has uncovered that Nazis are behind the protests at health care town hall meeting (tip: Wizbang):



[Direct link]

Interviewer: Do you think there's legitimate grassroot opposition going on here?

Pelosi: "I think they're Astroturf... You be the judge. "They're carrying swastikas and symbols like that to a town meeting on healthcare."

"Symbols like that?" That means it's not just the Nazis, but other groups that the Democrats feel are just like Nazis.

"Who?" you ask. I'm glad you asked.


Christians


Jews


Wal-mart workers


Sports fans


Diabetics

Be a good Democrat. If you see anyone wearing hate symbols like these, report them. They are dangerous.

Thoughts for 2009-08-05

• I find that when I try to be clever, I'm usually just obnoxious. But the effect on my targets is the same, so it's all good. #


• When Squeaky was young, she cared about trees enough to shoot at Ford. Now, she's 60. Do you think health care is on her mind? #


• Not a very productive day at work. However, since that was my goal, it was a very productive day at work. #


• I just want to know where I can buy one of those Obama/Joker t-shirts. #


• Stopped at Winn-Dixie for a head of lettuce. Spent $61.98 ... and didn't get a head of lettuce. #

Thoughts for 2009-08-04

• Busy weekend. Busy week. So why not go to Six Flags instead? #


• Got a Flash Pass for 6. Not as crowded today, so probably a waste of money. #SixFlags #


• You meet the most interesting people in line. If by "interesting" you mean "scary crazy" #SixFlags #


• A handful of game tokens is a very nice, polite way to say "leave me the hell alone." #SixFlags #


• Okay, the lines have really picked up. Flash Pass was a good idea. #SixFlags #


• Six Flags can't get a sign right. Folks paying for Flash Pass are being skipped. The hire the incompetent program works http://sml.vg/CjlkoH #


• Now the Scream Machine is stuck. With family on board. #SixFlags http://sml.vg/PDPPl6 #


• Now, to find the sign that reads "The Hell Outta Dodge." #SixFlags #

In Plain Sight

In Plain Sight. Next, on USA.


Mary, we got a problem.


Oh, really? A problem? How could we have a problem when all we do every day is deal with people, mostly criminals, whose lives are in danger 24/7/365 and we, upstanding law enforecemtn officials are assigned to protect their sorry asses? A problem, Stan? Really?


See what happens when you try to play straight man? You'll never learn, will ya, boss?


You're gonna be involved with this one, too, Marshall, so cut the wisecracks and listen up.

Thoughts for 2009-08-01

Things on my mind recently...

• Flipping through hotel TV channels. Money-preacher looks like Tom Arnold. #


• Flipping thru hotel TV. I don't understand what I'm seeing on Univision, but I can't stop watching. #


• In Brunswick. The smell of Hercules just hit. Wife looks at me accusingly. She doesn't understand about Hercules. Yet. #


• Driving all over St Simon's and Sea Island, looking at daughter's wedding location finalists. #


• Put on your Sunday best, kids, we're heading to Sears! #


• Hollywood stars flock to Cuba http://tinyurl.com/ljtwc4 Once they are all there, can we stop all travel to and from the island? #tcot #


• To Swainsboro. Niece in the Miss Southeast Georgia pageant. Her first Miss (non teen) pageant. #MissGA #


• Forgot my suit jacket. Was worried I'd be only 1 without one at the Miss SE GA pageant. Turns out I'm the only 1 without a John Deere cap. #


• The spotlight for the Miss SE Georgia MC shines on my head. Considering making shadow puppets to liven things up. #MissGA #


• Sound guy for the Miss SE Georgia pageant must be on the unpaid intern program. He's overpaid. #MissGA #


• "Urethra" Franklin? If the MC mis-pronounced my name like that, I'd be pissed. #


• Silent auction at the Miss SE Georgia pageant. Thinking about bidding on the 8-ft pink flamingo. #MissGA #


• Niece in the swimsuit competition (Miss SE Georgia pageant). I always catch her with her eyes closed. http://sml.vg/A6AzTw #


• Niece singing in Miss SE GA pageant http://sml.vg/1gJamr #


• Niece singing in Miss SE Georgia pageant http://sml.vg/8wX4dS #


• L-o-n-g pageant, no intermission. Crownings coming up. Fingers crossed. #


• Neice didn't place in Miss SE Georgia. The young ladies that did were very talented and deserving. #MissGA #


• Congratulations to Miss SE Georgia, Melissa Eldridge who will compete at Miss GA in Columbus next year. #MissGA #

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