Thanksgiving 2011

The first presidential Thanksgiving proclamation was issued by the first president, George Washington, in 1789:

BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA - A PROCLAMATION

Whereas it is the duty of all Nations to acknowledge the providence of almighty God, to obey his will, to be grateful for his benefits, and humbly to implore his protection and favor - and Whereas both Houses of Congress have by their joint Committee requested me "to recommend to the People of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness."

Now therefore I do recommend and assign Thursday the 26th day of November next to be devoted by the People of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being, who is the beneficent Author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be – That we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks – for His kind care and protection of the People of this country previous to their becoming a Nation – for the signal and manifold mercies, and the favorable interpositions of His providence, which we experienced in the course and conclusion of the late war –for the great degree of tranquillity, union, and plenty, which we have since enjoyed – for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enabled to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national One now lately instituted, for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; and in general for all the great and various favors which He hath been pleased to confer upon us.

And also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech Him to pardon our national and other transgressions – to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually – to render our national government a blessing to all the People, by constantly being a government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed – to protect and guide all Sovereigns and Nations (especially such as have shewn kindness unto us) and to bless them with good government, peace, and concord – To promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and Us – and generally to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as He alone knows to be best.

Given under my hand at the City of New York the third day of October in the year of our Lord 1789.

GO. WASHINGTON.

On this Thanksgiving Day, we hope you will take the time to consider the blessings that you have received, to give thanks for those blessings, and that you may be an instrument of blessing to others.

America's greatest threat

What's the greatest threat facing America today?

Turkey.

Not the country, the bird. And not just the bird, but the dead bird.

The Department of Homeland Security tweeted on Monday how dangerous it can be to fry a turkey.

And, in case you thought that someone left their computer unlocked and somebody tweeted it as a joke, they also put up a blog post about it.

The Department of Homeland Security, that great arm of Big Brother, knows that Islamic terrorists aren't so much of a threat. Sure, they want to kill us, but that's our fault. Just ask Ron Paul.

After flirting with the idea that right wingers were a threat -- not because of things they've done, but because there's the possibility that some right-winger might do something. Left-wing violence was never an issue. Sure, they've been shooting Congresswomen and crashing planes into buildings and raping hippies, but that's actual violence. The real threat has always been potential violence. Since the left has actual violence, and the right has potential violence, the right must be a bigger threat.

Until now.

As DHS has so kindly informed us, the real threat is dead turkeys. They're evil. So evil, that after they're dead and frozen, they'll still try to burn down your house.

So, as we approach Thanksgiving, be thankful that we have a government department that wants to protect us from turkeys.

Now, if we can only find someone to protect us from the turkeys at DHS.

Larry Munson (1922-2011)

Larry Munson died.


[Direct link]

ESPN has his Top Ten calls.

Who's gonna lose, Week 12

As the 2011 college football season winds to a close, teams are jockeying for position to wind up in the top two in the BCS. Emphasis on the B and the S.

Until the powers that be admit that a playoff system is the way to go, college football fans are stuck with the current nonsense.

Supporters of the BCS maintain that the best two teams always end up playing anyway, but that's not true. Fully half of the teams that have played in the big game since the 1998 season would have been mighty lucky to have survived a playoff bracket, and part of being a champion is stepping up when it counts.

Twelve weeks into the season, it's time for us to step up and let you know who's gonna lose this week. No "gimme" games this week. Okay, maybe a couple. But we are altering the format slightly. Still picking games from my state (Georgia), Harvey's state (Wisconsin), and Frank's state (Iowa, Idaho, one of them states out there). Still picking matchups between Top 25 teams. And, instead of only-game-on matchups, we'll look at the teams in the BCS hunt.

If you don't care for college football, you got an alternative: the new Twilight movie is out and you and the rest of the girls and Nancy Boys can go watch it. The men and the really cool chicks will be watching college football.

Who's gonna lose, week 11

We're nearing the end of the college football season, and the number of unbeatens is getting smaller each week. There are five unbeaten teams remaining, ranging from Number One LSU to Number 11 Houston. But some of the once-beatens are still in the mix, and one might get the championship game nod over an unbeaten.

Is that fair? Well, nothing's fair, until we get a playoff. I got the playoff plan, but the folks running the show won't listen to me.

Of course, some of you don't want to listen to -- or read -- these picks. Which means that you must hate college football and are a communist. Or a Gloria Allred client.

Sit back and find out who's gonna lose this week.

Stuffing the stockings

IMAO reader WyoScotch recently brought to my attention a project going on in the Lexington, NC area. The full story hehind it is here, but here's a summary:

The 22nd Marine Expeditionary Unit was recently deployed off the African coast for a longer-than-normal period of time. Because of the expense, there's no money in the unit's budget for some of the usual Christmas activities, so their families have started a project to ensure they get something at Christmastime. And, because of the logistics, they've got to make this happen by next Monday, the 14th.

It seems a worthwhile project to me, so I'm going to help. If you think it's something you want to help with, you can find more details on how to help on their Facebook page.

Here's more about it, with a "how-to" and suggestions:

Who's gonna lose, week 10

Following another stellar week of picking who's gonna lose in college football, I stand at a perfect 100% with my picks. If only the teams I picked were as good in carrying out my picks.

Some of you don't care for college football or these picks. I'm thinking it might be because Herman Cain didn't sexually harass you. I'll put in a call and see what I can do to fix that. At a minimum, I'll see if I can get Mark Block to blow smoke in your face.