Foot Fetish

The Wife has a cat.

Or maybe the cat has her. I'm still not quite sure how that works.

And, despite my not liking cats in the house ... they're animals and belong outside ... the cat does come inside to eat. Since we do have a cat, it's our responsibility to take care of the cat. And if we feed her outside, other animals in the area will come and take her food. And if I kill one of those damn things, somebody'd get pissed at me. So ... for now ... the cat eats inside.

Only, it's turned into more than

1. Bring the cat in to eat


2. Actually feed the cat


3. Put the cat out

Step number three is getting missed, somehow. Or at least, delayed.

Which means that when the cat comes in first thing in the morning to eat, often, the cat will still be in the house when I step out of the shower.

And I've noticed something about this cat.

She likes feet.

At least, freshly-washed feet.

I'll step out of the bathroom door and see the cat sitting there looking at the door.

She'll get up ... perhaps say a little "meow" ... and walk up, flick her tail, rub up against my leg, and sniff my foot. She'll then rub her nose against where my toes join my foot. Usually the second toe. She'll lick it a little. That toe and the big toe.

Then she'll go to the other foot, do about the same thing, then bite the big toe.

I don't remember cats doing this before. Of course, I didn't often shower outside. Which is where cats have always been around me.

So, I don't know if this is something that cats do. Or if it's something just this cat does.

I did step out of the shower the other day, got dressed except for my shoes -- I had left them in the living room -- and stepped out of the bedroom. The cat was there, looking at the door. She jumped up, ran forward, looked at my socks, then up and me, and walked away.

She didn't speak to me for a week.

Dealing With Cats

Cats hate vacuum cleaners.

If you're like me, and your wife wishes you would use the vacuum cleaner, you can make her wishes come true -- and get the cat out of the house -- all at the same time.

This cat that's took up residence here ... the one that's learned to scratch on the front door when she hears a sound emanating from inside the house ... used to be skittish about coming inside.

And I was fine with that.

You see, I'm not an "indoor cat" person.

Cats have claws. And teeth fit for eating creatures that live outside. Cats should be outside.

Cats don't have opposable thumbs. They shouldn't be on the inside of a door.

At least, that's how I think.

But the Wife thinks differently. She's just fine with a cat crawling around inside the house, sitting on the furniture, climbing up on the bed ... until it does that at 4:00 AM and sticks its cat ass in her face.

I'm thinking the cat should be outside. But I've done a bad thing. I've let the cat come inside to eat. Because others animals in the neighborhood will come up on the porch and take her food.

So, I've taken to bringing the cat inside to eat.

She was a little skittish at first. But she got over it soon enough. Now she likes to come inside all the time.

And getting her outside isn't always the easiest thing to do.

Until I remembered she doesn't like the vacuum cleaner. I mean, she's a cat.

But the Wife thinks turning the vacuum cleaner on and watching the cat head for the door is mean.

It might be. But I'm not going to chase her around the house. I'm getting too old for that.

So, the Wife makes sure the cat goes outside. Or I break out the vacuum cleaner.

But when the cat's inside, she's picked up a bad habit.

She knows the cat food is kept in the kitchen. So, she'll go into the kitchen.

As much as I don't like cats in the house, I really don't like cats in the kitchen. And I've been looking for a way to keep her out.

A friend who had an inside cat mentioned that her cat hates aluminum foil. So, I put a piece of aluminum foil on the floor a the door (actually, entrance, since there's not a door there).

Sure enough, the cat won't walk on the aluminum foil.

She jumps over it.

So, while keeping the cat out of the house is not really feasible (since I do let her in to eat), keeping the cat out of the kitchen is still a goal.

Monday, while I was home sick, I got up to eat about noon. And went into the kitchen to make some soup. And I heard scratching at the door.

I looked over and saw that the cat still had food from the morning, when the Wife had fed her before work. So, I let the cat in to eat the morning's leftovers. Then I went into the kitchen to fix some soup.

From a can.

The cat apparently thinks all cans are for her. They aren't.

The cat came into the kitchen. I told her to get out. She ignored me. So, I was washing my hands again, and it occurred to me that cats don't like water.

So, I took my wet hands out from the sink, and flicked them at her.

The drops flew in a scatter from my fingertips, some hitting the cat, and she decided to leave the kitchen.

There's a catch, though, that I need to let you know about if you decide to do the same thing.

Water droplets will fall where they may. Some will hit the cat. Others won't. And those that don't hit the cat, will hit the floor.

At least, the water drops hit my kitchen floor.

And stayed there.

Until I stepped on them.

Wet kitchen floors can be slippery. Keep that in mind.

I will from now on.

The Following Takes Place Between 6:00 AM and 7:00 AM

It's on!

8:02

Boom!

Lookin' for a Cathouse

This might sound like something Cousin Red would do, but it's not.

One night this week ... after the Wife and I talked about it ... we decided to find a cathouse.

It's not something that everyone does. People have different opinions about things ... including using a cathouse.

Age has nothing at all to do with the decision. And we weren't looking to spice things up. But lately, the last few days in particular, we each had the idea in the back of our head.

Well, we spoke hesitantly about it, realized we were both thinking the same thing, and decided to find a cathouse.

So, one night this week, after work, we figured it was the night to do it.