Thursday, April 1, 2010

How to properly fill out a census form on April Fools' Day

Do you think it's a coincidence that the census is to be filled out on April 1st?

Of course not. The first census in the U.S. was taken in 1790. April Fools' Day goes back to at least the 1600s -- and possibly as far back as 1508. The point is, April Fools' Day pranks were recognized well before the census was established in the United States.

The Founding Fathers knew this. So it is expected that the census be treated as an April Fools' Day prank.

Here is how to fill out the census form...

For the number of people, answer 80.

For all the check boxes, check them all.

For fill in the blank boxes that ask for numbers, answer in binary. If you're not sure, just guess. The phrase "close enough for government work" applies.

For fill in the blank boxes about races, use any race from Star Trek: Romulan, Klingon, Vulcan, Cardassian, Horta, or any other.

For phone numbers, enter 202-456-1414. If you want to know whose number it is, call it.

For names, choose from this list:
  • Pat McCrotch
  • Heywood Jablome
  • Amanda Huginkiss
  • I. C. Weiner
  • I.P. Freely
  • Jack Mehoff
  • Harry Dick
  • Justin Case
  • Lucinda Head
  • Sunny Disposition
  • Pete Moss
  • Pat McGroin
  • Mike Hunt
  • Seymore Butts
  • Mike Hawk
  • Hugh Jass
  • Hugh G. Rection
  • Dick Hertz
  • Hugh Janus
  • Dixie Normus
  • Dixie Rect
  • Howie Feltersnatch
  • Jack Offalot
  • Patty O'Furniture
  • Phil Uranus
  • Ben Dover
  • Pussy Galore
  • Bibi Dahl
  • Xenia Onatopp
  • Plenty O'Toole
  • Homer Sexual
I'm sure you can think of more.

The point is, have fun with it. You wouldn't want to disappoint the Founding Fathers.

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