Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Let's all order Happy Meals

You heard about McDonald's and the Happy Meal thing, right? That they're no longer differentiating between boy and girl toys?

Some girl, it seems, got her panties in a wad over the differentiation, according to Slate. Maybe she was getting her boxers in a wad over it, which might actually explain things.

I wonder how she deals with Mens and Ladies rooms.

Anyway, McDonald's is going to stop calling the toys "boys" and "girls" but by the actual name of the toy. Like "My Little Pony" or "Skylanders" or whatever.

The pantywaists who came up with this and gave in to this all seem to claim that you really can't have "boy toys" or "girl toys" just like you can't have "man jobs" or "woman jobs." Only, I've still not been hired as a wet nurse, despite my constant pleas for such a job. And I don't know of any women professional sperm donors. Or football players. Or presidents.

Here's what I'm gonna do, and I want you to do it too. Go into a McDonald's and order a Happy Meal. And when they ask you which toy, and name some toy you've never heard of -- just what the heck is "Skylanders?" -- do like I'm going to do and say, "I don't know, I want the one for boys." Or girls, if you have a girl that wants a girl toy. I'm going to ask for boy toys, because I have two young grandsons. I might ask for a girl toy, just to screw with them.

Do this every time you go to McDonald's. I know I'm going to. It should be fun! And McDonald's is all about the fun.


  1. Not to be a deliberate contrarian, Basil, but, for me, McDonald's is all about the upchucking afterwards.

  2. It be more helpful if they told you what's in the hamburgers.

  3. @2 DamnCat: But they can't do that. They don't know. The stuffing comes from some factory in the middle of a river delta somewhere.

  4. If it's any consolation, I'm sure that actual line-workers who have to grab the toy for you are just as irritated by the idiocy from The Suits as you are, and will be sympathetic to your plight.

  5. "And I don’t know of any women professional sperm donors. Or football players. Or presidents."

    I guess you missed the election results in 2008 and 2012.

  6. Yeah... I'm as tired of the gender-neutering of society as the next red-blooded conservative, and I want to back you on this one, Basil.

    But eating at McDonald's? That's just gross. And it's not even that cheap anymore! I think I'd rather spend a little more and go to Red Robin.

  7. Wait a minute, this girl ran screaming to the CHRO about toy-based gender discrimination when she was eleven?!

    Her parents must be even bigger @ssholes, or else they would have smothered her in her sleep. She's going to be an insufferable bitch when she gets out of college. Sandra Fluke 2.0.

    And Basil, I am so with you on this. It's worth downing a few rounds of nuggets (and I can lord it over my kid later when he wants something else). But if I may correct your approach - force them to break the policy. Don't say, "I want the one for boys," say, "Which one is the toy for the boys?" Make them acknowledge openly that the one they're giving you fits a gender stereotype.

  8. I liked what this article had to say:

    This could have all been solved by her parents simply encouraging her to ask for the toy she wants. If girls are continually taught that they as individuals have no power to negotiate a situation as simple as “I’d like that toy” without the Connecticut Commission on Human Rights getting involved, I submit that these women are proving the case that they should not be put in positions of leadership or power.

  9. What, no transsexual toys? That's blatant discrimination.

  10. BTW, a "Skylanders" is some sort of thing my son talks about for several hours every day. I should probably listen to him sometimes so I could be more specific.


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