Monday, April 7, 2014

More spider attacks

Remember when we told you about spiders causing air bags in Toyotas to deploy?

Well, those eight-legged beasties are at it again. Now, they're targeting Mazda cars, according to a Reuters report.

Here's the deal.

There's something called a Yellow Sac spider. I'm assuming it's yellow. And that it is from Omaha. Not sure about that part. But, it is a spider. And that tells you that it's evil.

Spiders are sneaky little buggers. They'll crawl up in your ears when you're asleep. They'll hide on the back side of the toilet paper roll. And, while I can't prove this, I think they hide your car keys. And take socks from the dryer. They have way too many legs to be trustworthy. I mean, why do they need all those legs. Well, it's not for anything good, I'm here to tell you.

Anyway, those Yellow Sac spiders like the smell of gasoline. Now, unlike that fellow from the eighth grade that walked kinda funny, they don't sit on the porch and huff gasoline. No, those little spiders crawl up inside a gas tank and spin their little webs in the tubing. That causes the tanks to not vent properly and that messes up the pressure, which can then cause the tanks to crack and leak. Then, when you least expect it ... BOOM! ... you have the end to a Mel Gibson movie.

Anyway, they're recalling a bunch of Mazda cars on account of this.

I wonder if they search the pages of the Obamacare law, if they'll find spiders spinning webs in all that. If they do, you think they'll be able to recall it, too?

Might be worth a look.


  1. No, they won't be able to recall Obamacare, Basil, because, unlike Mazdas, it's heavily guarded by Red Scrotum Crabs (Pthirus pubis obamus). And believe it or not, most of them are Republican.

  2. I could forgive the multiple legs on spiders if they played soccer or practiced riverdance.

  3. @2 Burt - Spider Riverdance (seriously):

  4. No spider webs in Obama Care...just Liberal webs, lots of um.

  5. I actually have the "Love Me?" panel on a tee shirt. Good times.

  6. Jimmy be very fond of the "Daddy Long Leg" variety. They annually take up residence by the hundreds in my bush beans and will keep all aphids out of my garden(s). They also catch and eat sugar ants so having them in hard-to-reach places in your house all year long is good, too.

    Come to think of it, I love spiders! But then, I love walnuts - and potatoes.

    It's a springtime 70°F here and the trees are exploding. The birds are crazy, too - probably making babies.

  7. 'Ware of the Porsche Spyder:


  8. Meanwhile, in Australia . . .

  9. I know they supposedly have like this really important part they contribute to the world, but everything about them and everything they do is awful and horrifying and everyone is generally left reeling in panic and dismay after seeing them do something - anything. Or even just seeing them.

    Now... am I talking about spiders, or Democrats?


  10. A taxidermist in Kodiak, Alaska had a king crab covered with fur in his shop.
    He called it an Alaskan Tundra Spider - one of the girls in our group thought it was real!
    Good times!


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