We approached Gaia for comment, but she ignored our requests. So, we don't really know how The Great Mother Earth feels about it.
Quite honestly, Earth don't give a rat's ass about Earth Day. It's actually for us. Well, not me and you, but the hippies that do things like come up with Earth Day.
So, let's do something for the hippies in honor of Earth Day. But what? Here's what I've come up with, but if you have other ideas, I'm up for that:
- Give a hippie a bath. A fire hose would be good for this. That way you don't have to actually touch the hippie.
- Burn a forest. It's Earth Day. That's like its birthday or something, right? And what are the Earth's equivalent of candles? That's right. Trees. So light one up for Dear Old Mother Earth.
- If you want a less public spectacle, particularly one that doesn't involve making Bambi and Woodsy Owl homeless, you could offer a private sacrifice to Mother Earth. Return to her that which came from her. Like a pile of old tires. Plus, that'd make a pretty sweet fire.
- Punch a hippie. I haven't figured a way to tie that specifically to Earth Day, but isn't punching a hippie a great way to celebrate anything?